Fanfiction themes that creep you out.

[Rater202]

Dresden Files is another one-The Never Never is stated to be connected to multiple other worlds, beyond the one Dresden lives in, and Word of Jim is that some characters that are fictional in the Dresdenverse are real in some of those other worlds.

So you wanna do a dresden cross, just involve Never Never shenanigans to get character X involved with Y's cast.

[Traab]

Ok, so, here I am, having finished reading the dresden files books so I decide to check out fanfics on them. Remember one of the earlier pet peeves about slash pairings? Dresden/Marcone as far as the eye can see. /head desk /head desk. He already HAS romantic freaking interests, and even potential ones he can go with, all hetero, for crying out loud, he doesnt hate marcone due to SEXUAL FREAKING TENSION!

[The Glyphstone]

Ok, so, here I am, having finished reading the dresden files books so I decide to check out fanfics on them. Remember one of the earlier pet peeves about slash pairings? Dresden/Marcone as far as the eye can see. /head desk /head desk. He already HAS romantic freaking interests, and even potential ones he can go with, all hetero, for crying out loud, he doesnt hate marcone due to SEXUAL FREAKING TENSION!

Go to the TVTropes FanFicRec page for Dresden Files, and look for the link to the story 'Slash Archive'. It's freaking hilarious, especially considering what you've posted here.

[Douglas]

I don't usually go for crossovers much, but a while back I somehow ran across a My Little Pony/X-Com crossover that turned out to be really good. Discord challenges Twilight to "convince him, irrefutably, that friendship is the strongest power in the universe". She accepts. He sends her to X-Com Earth.

Back to the thread topic, yeah, poorly done or nonsensical sexual relationships are a common major problem. If you have to contort the characters into strange imitations of themselves in order for your story to work, then either something's probably wrong with your story or you need to make it explicit up front that X character is different in Y way (such as, for example, the central premise in Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality that Harry is extremely intelligent and raised by a scientist).

[8BitNinja]

Rule of Fan Shipping: If two characters are within 100 yards of each other for at least three seconds, it is okay for them to participate in the sexy time

Internet, what hast thou wrought?

[Lethologica]

Rule of Fan Shipping: If two characters are within 100 yards of each other for at least three seconds, it is okay for them to participate in the sexy time

Internet, what hast thou wrought?

I think you seriously underestimated the flexibility of shippers.

[Aotrs Commander]

Internet, what hast thou wrought?

Merely a visible outlet for what people would have thought about anyway.

[AvatarVecna]

Rule of Fan Shipping: If two characters are within 100 yards of each other for at least three seconds, it is okay for them to participate in the sexy time

Internet, what hast thou wrought?

...pardon? Since when has shipping been so limited? In just the HP fandom, I've seen tons of people shipped with Grindelwald; granted, most Grindelwald ships are with Dumbledore (which is canon, or at least heavily-implied, and has been confirmed Word-Of-God style), but shipping Grindelwald with anybody else is basically saying "these people who have never met or even been in the vague vicinity of each other, in space or time, are perfect for each other"; the only canon character other than the Dumbledores that come close to being in the right time and place to be near Grindelwald is Tom Riddle, during his Hogwarts years. These ships sail, for some reason. Don't believe me? That's fine, here's some proof: 27 mature-rated stories pairing Grindelwald with someone other than Dumbledore.

Mind you, I don't attribute rampant shipping to the nature of fanfiction, but rather to the anonymous nature of the internet: the pairing doesn't have to make any sense, the events can be as contrived as you desire, the positions can be as impossible as you like, but it doesn't matter: there's someone, somewhere, who's thought about that scenario and felt the urge to rub one out.

It's a wonderful, wonderful world.

[Lethologica]

In short:

Spoiler: Never met? Different universes? Sexually, personally, anatomically incompatible?

Show

I don't care. I ship it.

[AvatarVecna]

In short:

Spoiler: Never met? Different universes? Sexually, personally, anatomically incompatible?

Show

I don't care. I ship it.

On a similar tangent, and sort of a response to the weird hate-on some posters seem to have for this part of fanfiction:

Spoiler: Slight Language Warning

Show

I've raged against furries and weird transgender moogle porn, but damn it, this is America! You want to jerk off to Filthy Multitasking Quistis, hell, throw that picture on the ground, huddle up, and I’ll put five bucks on whoever can bust a nut on her face first. You are not stupid for seeking people you identify with. You are not an idiot for finding friends and feeling like you have somewhere you belong. Your particular brand of happiness might be pretty ****ed-up, but you’re not ****ed-up for pursuing that happiness. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, wave that freak flag high.

Final Fantasy VIII may suck, and you may suck for liking it, but I’m the captain of this suck-filled leaking failboat, and I’m not going to have some jerkoff movie critic who’s never cracked a Player’s Handbook in his life call my homies STUPID.

[Traab]

...pardon? Since when has shipping been so limited? In just the HP fandom, I've seen tons of people shipped with Grindelwald; granted, most Grindelwald ships are with Dumbledore (which is canon, or at least heavily-implied, and has been confirmed Word-Of-God style), but shipping Grindelwald with anybody else is basically saying "these people who have never met or even been in the vague vicinity of each other, in space or time, are perfect for each other"; the only canon character other than the Dumbledores that come close to being in the right time and place to be near Grindelwald is Tom Riddle, during his Hogwarts years. These ships sail, for some reason. Don't believe me? That's fine, here's some proof: 27 mature-rated stories pairing Grindelwald with someone other than Dumbledore.

Mind you, I don't attribute rampant shipping to the nature of fanfiction, but rather to the anonymous nature of the internet: the pairing doesn't have to make any sense, the events can be as contrived as you desire, the positions can be as impossible as you like, but it doesn't matter: there's someone, somewhere, who's thought about that scenario and felt the urge to rub one out.

It's a wonderful, wonderful world.

Pfft, I see your grindelwald/harry pairings (yes, I have seen them) Heck, I even match your harry/james time travel pairing fics that noone wants to admit exist, and raise it with, for a start, naruto/tsunade fics. Both deaged and not. Because if there is one thing a 50+ year old woman wants, its a 13 year old boyfriend of her very own that reminds her of her dead baby brother. And of course, naruto/hashirama fics, or really, all the hokages, from 1st through danzo, plus madera, all of akatsuki.

I think my favorite story ever for how it flat out doesnt give a damn about being realistic, was a naruto/mei terumi/koyuki/fuu relationship that also tossed in yugaao because why not. Sure one is the daimyo of a nation that just had its second bloody regime change in twenty years, another is the kage of a village that just ended a civil war, and one is the jinchuriki of another village entirely, it will all work out just great because mumble mumble There is absolutely no reason why all of them cant move to konoha to marry their man. I mean, at least most stories TRY to explain how this could ever work, and too be fair, there was at least a slightly reasonable excuse for them falling for each other, but they just gloss over how this wont end in the destabilization of the entire elemental nations and probably cause more death destruction and chaos than all of akatsuki combined. The author even brings up how big of a problem this could be, then dismisses it with some vague "dont worry about it" type of in world explanation.

One of my other pet peeves is the big harem fic. I dont mind multiple relationships as such in fanfiction, what I DO mind is when the author clearly just wanted to imagine every female cast member of a series getting hot and sweaty with the main character and didnt want to bother coming up with a different story for each so he just says, "Eh, to heck with it, they all want him and gladly share for no reason at all. Now lets get to the orgy chapter(s)!" Its pretty clearly nothing but a wish fulfillment fic, where the author didnt want to be so obvious as to rename the main character after himself. Other signs include said main character becoming a sex god instantly, despite having never so much as kissed a girl on the cheek up till this moment. Doesnt matter, the girl (or multiple girls) will always be left an exhausted puddle of sexed up bliss. Because of course a dozen 14 year old virgins in bed together couldnt end any other way.

[AvatarVecna]

Because of course a dozen 14 year old virgins in bed together couldnt end any other way.

Don't forget: at least in HP harem fics, there's usually some older women (often some of the school kid's mothers with still-perfect bodies, or McGonagall hiding her smokin' bod behind charms, or Nympadora/Andromeda Tonks, or even older female Death Eaters like Bellatrix who betrayed their side for the sex) who's there to walk them through things, conveniently ignoring any potential turn-offs; while a lot of these potential older women have to get past some incest issues (mother-daughter, sisters, first cousins, and so on), the one most every single one has to get past is the whole "adult woman in bed with a dozen 14 year olds"; regardless of how closely she is or is not related to any of them, the age issues involved is still pretty ****ed up.

[Kitten Champion]

I just assume crackpairings are a result of a bloated community creating members disinterested in writing the same conventional ships that have been written literally thousands of times before.

Anyways, the Naruto/Tsunade ship seems fairly vanilla to me - at the very least they do share a significant amount of screen/panel time together, and there's love of the maternal kind between them - that's more to work with than usually goes into "I can't believe someone wrote that"-type ships like the others.

Plus, fanfiction authors often have zero qualms adjusting canon ages - among other things - to make their scenario more palatable.

[Traab]

Don't forget: at least in HP harem fics, there's usually some older women (often some of the school kid's mothers with still-perfect bodies, or McGonagall hiding her smokin' bod behind charms, or Nympadora/Andromeda Tonks, or even older female Death Eaters like Bellatrix who betrayed their side for the sex) who's there to walk them through things, conveniently ignoring any potential turn-offs; while a lot of these potential older women have to get past some incest issues (mother-daughter, sisters, first cousins, and so on), the one most every single one has to get past is the whole "adult woman in bed with a dozen 14 year olds"; regardless of how closely she is or is not related to any of them, the age issues involved is still pretty ****ed up.

Heh, its even better when sex god harry is the one to show THEM what sexual pleasure is like. They start to have sex then suddenly you get the internal monologue of narcissa or bellatrix as they gape amazed at how GOOD sex can feel now that they are with a REAL man instead of some selfish tiny donged loser like lucius/rodolphus. Honestly, the nymphadora pairing bothers me less than many because im pretty sure the age gap between them is still less than the gap between her and remus. Wasnt she a 7th year when harry was a firsty?

Anyways, back to the milf seduction. A story I read, oddly enough a hp/naruto cross where harry gives himself the sharingan, he is 11 years old (there are time travel shenanigans involved of course, so mentally he is older) He walks up to narcissa at gringots and proceeds to grope and fondle her right there in the bank. Not down at the vaults, not in a private meeting place, right there in the main building area where everyone comes in to wait in line for a teller. Not only does she greatly enjoy having an 11 year old groping her boobs, noone else in the bank notices or gives a damn, except for harrys dad who is jealous as heck, and his mom who is shocked but not going to say or do anything about it. I just... what?! There are just so many different ways this is wrong that it sort of grinds my brains to a screeching halt when I stop long enough to try and count them.

And the incest/older women thing is fun in naruto. Its almost never a hana or tsume pairing, it seems like its always both the mother and the daughter. Usually justified like, "Omg naruto is sooooo alpha that the inuzaka clan just submits to his manly manliness." Tsunade/shizune team ups happen a lot, though not strictly incest, tsunade DID pretty much raise her from childhood. And of course you have the anko/kurenai pairing as for some strange reason fanon has declared them a OTP for each other, and they often dont mind tag teaming naruto. Because yep, an older lesbian duo are going to take one look at that sexy 13 year old and say, "Yum, I could totally go bi for a piece of that action, and my girlfriend agrees"

[AvatarVecna]

Honestly, the nymphadora pairing bothers me less than many because im pretty sure the age gap between them is still less than the gap between her and remus. Wasnt she a 7th year when harry was a firsty?

It bothers me less, sure, but it still bothers me. to give a comparison, we're essentially talking about a 20 year old cop having sex with an older middle-schooler, who also happens to be her blood relative (albeit a third/fourth cousin relative, IIRC). Regardless of their blood relation, though, it's still boning a middle-schooler.

As a counter-example, the kind of "older woman" ships I don't mind is like when Harry gets shipped with one of the older girls on the Quidditch team, particularly Alicia (for being the closest to his age); her and Harry getting together has an opportunity for unique-to-the-story growth (since her character isn't well-defined in-canon), they have a pre-existing relationship that could very well turn into some kind of sexual (or at least more-than-friendly) relationship, since the hormones involved in a mixed-gender competitive teenage sport are likely to cause some interesting feelings, and it's not creepy because the age different isn't that huge a deal.

A lot of fics pairing him with older women (particularly those closer to Tonks' age) use the "in ten years, I'll be 30 and you'll be 24 and it'll be totally cool" argument, which I feel is BS, at least in the time period it's being argued. Tonks going for 14 year-old Harry? There's no way this poster kid for child abuse has filled out to the point that she could ignore/not realize his age, especially given how famous he is in-universe. But after the war? Maybe if we're talking with Harry being 20 and Tonks being 26, and she's lonely because she lived while Lupin died, and Harry conforts her. That feels more natural, and it feels okay despite the age gap. But when she shacks up with him when he's still in school, he's at the most 16 years old, and that's still pretty creepy.

[Kitten Champion]

Bah, sexual fantasies are bound to ignore and/or fly in the face of social mores and logic, I think that's mostly the point.

[Starwulf]

I think my favorite story ever for how it flat out doesnt give a damn about being realistic, was a naruto/mei terumi/koyuki/fuu relationship that also tossed in yugaao because why not. Sure one is the daimyo of a nation that just had its second bloody regime change in twenty years, another is the kage of a village that just ended a civil war, and one is the jinchuriki of another village entirely, it will all work out just great because mumble mumble There is absolutely no reason why all of them cant move to konoha to marry their man. I mean, at least most stories TRY to explain how this could ever work, and too be fair, there was at least a slightly reasonable excuse for them falling for each other, but they just gloss over how this wont end in the destabilization of the entire elemental nations and probably cause more death destruction and chaos than all of akatsuki combined. The author even brings up how big of a problem this could be, then dismisses it with some vague "dont worry about it" type of in world explanation.
.

Isn't that one of those "Hanyou" fics, where Naruto has a reaction to the Kyuubi's chakra and becomes Half-Demon? And he ends up forsaking the Leaf(but not against them) and becomes the Hokage for the brand spanking new Hidden in the Snow village? Cuz your short description reaaaallllyyyy sounds like it.

[8BitNinja]

So you can ship anything?

Then someone write a story shipping me and a Sherman Tank.

I'd honestly like to see someone try

[Lethologica]

Oh, come on. A (presumably) strapping young man and a nice long round sheath? Too easy. And that's without going KanColle on the tank's side, or adding, um, functionality. Rule 34 applies if you feel like googling human-tank relations.

[Tvtyrant]

So you can ship anything?

Then someone write a story shipping me and a Sherman Tank.

I'd honestly like to see someone try

Would you like to be the top or bottom?

[The Glyphstone]

Mechanophilia is a real fetish. I'm sure at least some of its enthusiasts consider tanks to be just really big, manly, heavily armored and fuel-inefficient cars.

[Starwulf]

Mechanophilia is a real fetish. I'm sure at least some of its enthusiasts consider tanks to be just really big, manly, heavily armored and fuel-inefficient cars.

I actually watched a show a few years back about men who were literally in love with their cars, and would wash them daily and caress them gently. Pretty sure love via gas-tank was implied for at least a few of the guys.

[The Glyphstone]

Rule 34: No Exceptions.

[8BitNinja]

Oh, come on. A (presumably) strapping young man and a nice long round sheath? Too easy. And that's without going KanColle on the tank's side, or adding, um, functionality. Rule 34 applies if you feel like googling human-tank relations.

I'm not sure if I should be flattered or disturbed

Would you like to be the top or bottom?

Well, considering that I would not like to be crushed by hundreds of pounds of American Steel

Mechanophilia is a real fetish. I'm sure at least some of its enthusiasts consider tanks to be just really big, manly, heavily armored and fuel-inefficient cars.

Really?

I am kind of creeped out by this fact, my post was just a joke

[Aotrs Commander]

But when she shacks up with him when he's still in school, he's at the most 16 years old, and that's still pretty creepy.

Will just point out that in the UK, age of consent (and - with parental consent if under 18) you can get married at 16. So that extreme, at least, is entirely legal and (by extension) socitally acceptable (to a degree). (Also, wizard school lasts until they are 17, unlike muggle school at the time period.)

That does not negate any of the rest of your points, of course, just something worth noting.

[Traab]

Isn't that one of those "Hanyou" fics, where Naruto has a reaction to the Kyuubi's chakra and becomes Half-Demon? And he ends up forsaking the Leaf(but not against them) and becomes the Hokage for the brand spanking new Hidden in the Snow village? Cuz your short description reaaaallllyyyy sounds like it.

No, its one of those, "Naruto takes the time skip training trip seriously and so comes back an unstoppable god of combat." He takes part in the mist civil war as training and ends up working with mei, including unleashing the hirashin on an entire army to end it, then heads for snow country where the daimyo is starring in a porno (yes really, I think its icha icha the movie) and she demands he act as the male lead in it. I forget how he meets and falls in love with fuu, but you get plenty of creepy semi incest vibes from the yugaoo setup as we learn she was one of his guards as a little kid and they hung out all the time with her being a big sister to him then inexplicably vanishing till the whole sand/sound invasion arc.

[Rater202]

where the daimyo is starring in a porno (yes really, I think its icha icha the movie)

To be fair, Princess Koyuki continuing to act as becoming the Daimyo of snow is faithful to the story, and it's heavily implied at the end of the film that she'll be starring in the film adaption of Icha Icha paradise at the end of her movie, so...

[AvatarVecna]

Will just point out that in the UK, age of consent (and - with parental consent if under 18) you can get married at 16. So that extreme, at least, is entirely legal and (by extension) socitally acceptable (to a degree). (Also, wizard school lasts until they are 17, unlike muggle school at the time period.)

That does not negate any of the rest of your points, of course, just something worth noting.

First point is valid, although the "with parental consent" argument doesn't hold as much water with me, despite the legality; IIRC, in Texas "with parental consent" can allow down to 13, or at least has at some point recently enough that it came up during high school economics class (for some reason).

Second point (regarding Harry's school) is a bit less correct; yes, Hogwarts goes until 7th year, but Harry wasn't actually in school for that year; the oldest he was while still in school was 16, at least until post-canon. Some AUs usually change it, but I've yet to see a fic that has Tonks and Harry get together in his seventh year at Hogwarts, usually because they can't just defeat Voldy early without taking away most dramatic tension for the plot, but that's neither here nor there.

[Traab]

To be fair, Princess Koyuki continuing to act as becoming the Daimyo of snow is faithful to the story, and it's heavily implied at the end of the film that she'll be starring in the film adaption of Icha Icha paradise at the end of her movie, so...

True, but I also got the impression it was, while racy, not that explicit. Like an r rated movie level at worst. This was pretty specifically a hardcore pornographic version of it. And that it was being setup as a "do this or never act again" sort of contractual threat. Once again, the ultimate ruler of a nation, being blackmailed into doing a porno. Seriously, like every part of this fic was designed to make no sense at all and pretend that it will all work out anyways.

First point is valid, although the "with parental consent" argument doesn't hold as much water with me, despite the legality; IIRC, in Texas "with parental consent" can allow down to 13, or at least has at some point recently enough that it came up during high school economics class (for some reason).

Second point (regarding Harry's school) is a bit less correct; yes, Hogwarts goes until 7th year, but Harry wasn't actually in school for that year; the oldest he was while still in school was 16, at least until post-canon. Some AUs usually change it, but I've yet to see a fic that has Tonks and Harry get together in his seventh year at Hogwarts, usually because they can't just defeat Voldy early without taking away most dramatic tension for the plot, but that's neither here nor there.

Most of the tonks/harry pairings that dont involve time travel or other hijinks tend to be post 5th year stories. They tend to start out as comfort/help fics then turn into romance. You know, here is harry, depressed and weepy over the death of sirius (spoiler alert. ) and the prophecy and his lack of training. Here comes tonks, house guard, who decides to help him out, blah blah blah. Harry Potter and the Summer of Change being the best example.

Also, another factoid to keep in mind is that in japan, the laws dealing with the age of consent are a bit more complicated. It also tends to be even younger, which is probably why you have so many "magical girl" transformation type shows like sailor moon where the main cast are basically freshmen in high school yet go through the whole nude(ish) transformation sequences into "battle costumes" that tend to be micro mini skirts etc etc etc. Because its ok for them to be sexualized despite being 14 years old.

[8BitNinja]

Any pairing with and adult and a minor deserves to have the police arrest the work they star in