Crusader Kings II: Succession Game the Third

[Grif]

This is all in what, 60 years? Very impressive.

Of course, now is the time to spread our dynasty and install them on every duchy and county.

[OrcusMcP]

And don't forget, with big realms and lots of dynasty members comes the inevitable decadence.

[Grif]

And don't forget, with big realms and lots of dynasty members comes the inevitable decadence.

That's the plan.

[Flickerdart]

How would de Vasconia style kingmaking work with Muslims, anyway? What with Open Succession and all that.

[Guancyto]

->Invasion of [Kingdom]
->Grant Landed Title [Kingdom of Kingdom] to [Brother] (Include Lower Titles=Yes)
->Grant Independence

[Flickerdart]

I will do that just as soon as rebellions stop raining on my parade...

[Guancyto]

No no, I was making the joke that that's how CK2 Muslims play the Game of Thrones.

[Grif]

Any updates, Flickerdart?

[Flickerdart]

I've got stuff for an update, I'm just working on writing it...

Spoiler: Everything goes great before suddenly going poorly indeed.

[The Great Wyrm]

Didn't stockpile enough gold for mercenaries, and got hit with a Rebellion/Decadence Revolt?

[Flickerdart]

Badshah Muhammad the Lionhearted - Part 1: Start Wearing Purple

Spoiler: Punnier title: Weekend at Berber's

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Even before his coronation, Muhammad was known as a great Muslim. Possibly the best Muslim - embodying four of the seven heavenly virtues, he was also known as a brave, just, and quick-witted man, fervent in his faith, and possessed of a physique so stunning that the court Mullah considered it sinful for women to look upon it.

However, Muhammad's realm was not so pious, being fractured into a great many heresies. Within its borders still dwelled the vile Sunni faith, as well as congregations of Yazidi and Zikri. To the east, Orthodox and Nestorian counties marred his realm. To the west, the Manicheans and followers of Zoroaster held sway over the hearts of the people.

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Muhammad was known as a great commander of men, but the trusted advisors he surrounded himself with were no lesser. The man who served as his vizier they called the Wise; there was no rogue in the land more charming than his spymaster, known as the Seducer. These men he trusted to go into foreign lands and treat with the Caliph while stealing his scholars' best ideas. The rest would stay home and develop the capital, so that all would marvel at its glory.

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Despite the wisdom of these men, the Badshah's cautious nature prevents him from acting too rashly. He spends the early years of his reign resolving administrative issues - granting land he cannot manage himself to a promising young warrior he mentored, and resolving an inheritance conflict in the steppe regions of his empire.

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Sure enough, since Muhammad did not go to find trouble, trouble had to find Muhammad instead. The realms subjugated by his predecessor did not meekly submit to Persian rule, and rose up in revolution against their liege. The Badshah rode out into the desert to face them himself, leading a small retinue of loyal soldiers, and the blood of many a traitor was spilled upon the sands that day.

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As the captives from the battle were gathered before the Badshah and prepared for execution, Muhammad sat in silent contemplation. Was it truly noble and pious, he thought to himself, to slay these simple mountain folk who had the misfortune to be raised on a different holy book? Their faith was no less horrible and wrong, of course, but did they deserve to die for it?

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Doubt beset Muhammad as he returned from his campaign. His path would take him through Merv, where the court Mullah, Emir Khodadad, was known to spend some time in meditation. he resolved to ask Khodadad about the situation - could it be that there is more to righteous rule than conquest of the unfaithful?
As Muhammad rode through Khodadad's estate, its decadence shocked him. Here stood a golden statue, suspiciously close to an idol. There walked a throng of slaves, carrying amphoras of wine. Further on, a garishly dressed man hopped perilously from rooftop to rooftop, but before Muhammad could puzzle out what sort of jester this was supposed to be, the man tripped and tumbled into the Badshah's open carriage. Up close, and with the clown's makeup smeared by the fall, there was no doubt - it was Sheikh Chukshak! Upon threats of painful death, he revealed what he was doing - spying on the Mullah, and spying successfully at that. Muhammad could hardly believe that his trusted Mullah was a secret bastard all along.

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If not the Mullah, who could Muhammad trust? He resolved at once to check the reliability of his inner circles. His heart already full of doubts, it did not surprise him when the spies turned up tales of his very own brother Abdullah, called The Devil by his subjects for his debauched revelry and sinister cruel streak. The brother went to jail for his crimes, and Muhammad turned from thoughts of warfare to pious contemplation lest he follow down the same dark path.

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As Muhammad fasted and prayed, news came to him from his many spies. His brothers - now adults of no particular talent - all succumbed to the decadent lifestyle of Prince Abdullah. At first Muhammad would simply implore them to repent their ways, but eventually that began to grate upon even the Lionheart's legendary patience. Sealing himself within his chambers, Muhammad hatched a brilliant plan - he would campaign westward with his brothers against the infidel, showing them by example how a true Muslim ought to behave. Once the land was held, he would parcel it out among them and put them to work applying themselves to convert the heathen to the one true faith! It was a flawless plan, truly. Muhammad chose to direct his ire towards the Basileus of the Greeks - a lazy hunchbacked homosexual on top of his foolish devotion to the Cross.

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While the kingdoms of Anatolia and Armenia lay closer to the Persian realm, Muhammad set his sights higher. His family would topple the cathedrals of New Rome itself, and make Constantine's city kneel. Only an endeavor of such magnitude would be sure to rouse his brothers from their decadent complacency!

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The Badshah's troops gathered from all corners of the Empire, though those from Arabia and the steppes would not arrive to the fighting until the first battle of the war. Eager to show his brothers the joy of action, Muhammad took 20,000 men into the mountains of Anatolia, pitting them against a Greek patrol. To his surprise, a much larger force lies in wait for the Persian army, and though they are still victorious in the end, Muhammad's army takes many more losses than expected.

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Word of this costly battle spreads quickly throughout the Muslim world. Soon Muhammad receives a message from the Sunni Caliph, eager to take advantage of Persia's perceived weakness to reclaim some portion of Arabia.

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Muhammad sends for one of his sons, Prince Taimur, to discuss strategy for a two-front war, but is rebuffed - the prince is too busy whoring and offers to send a eunuch in his place. They said Satan would be attractive, but as much as Muhammad could use a skilled commander (more than his worthless son, at any rate) he could make no other choice but to have Taimur declared a kafir and imprisoned.

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With Taimur in shackles instead of causing trouble in the commander's tent, the war goes smoother and Persian camels soon relieved themselves on Constantinople's famed walls. Bulgaria entered the war as a last-ditch effort to defend the Ecumenical Patriarch from being overrun, but the mercenaries hired for the war effort made short work of them.

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As Muhammad's troops were hard at work building siege engines, a hurried messenger prostrated himself before the Badshah, out of breath and carrying a small dirty scroll. From the intact portions of the mistreated document, it appeared that the Caliph of the distant Catholics (styling himself a Pop or a Poop or some such) had called the entirety of his followers to destroy Islam and formed a slew of holy warrior orders to accomplish this.

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This declaration made even the Lionheart quiver momentarily - the war had taken many a Muslim soldier's life, and if an entire continent were to turn against him, Greece would be lost forever. Fortunately, a second messenger with the sense to pace himself and invest in a purse for his scroll comes just in time to calm Muhammad. This "Crusade" was aimed at Aquitaine, conquered recently by the Shia Caliph in the West. While Muhammad had every intention to assist the Caliph, it meant the eyes of Europe would turn away from the East for the time being.

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Indeed, with the news that their fellow Christians would not come to their aid, the Greeks seemed to lose their last hopes. Basileus Apollonios surrendered shortly. Some said that this demonstration of military might caused Apollonios to take the Islamic faith seriously, treating the Muslims he encountered as equals and not second-class citizens.
As for Greece, the Badshah awarded the Basileus's former titles to his brothers, putting them to work converting the locals. Hopefully, their decadence would soon be a thing of the past.

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Next: Big trouble in little Persia! Should the Badshah grant his incompetent, decadent brothers and sons more land to get them to shape up? Should he assassinate all of his courtiers that are trying to for an independence faction against him? Does the Caliphate of Hispania really need our help against crusaders?

[Grif]

Seems like we took Kostantiniyye a few centuries earlier than planned.

[OrcusMcP]

Maybe we should establish some kind of Sultanate of Rum?

[Grif]

Starts faction to Demand Updates.

[The Great Wyrm]

Joins faction.

What's our Faction Power at?

[Flickerdart]

Haha sorry guys, I'll have something up tonight. Stupid Strong king won't die.

[super dark33]

Haha sorry guys, I'll have something up tonight. Stupid Strong king won't die.

whine whine whine, my ubermensch wont stop blessing the nation, nay, the world with his magnificence to allow me to end my turn

[Grif]

whine whine whine, my ubermensch wont stop blessing the nation, nay, the world with his magnificence to allow me to end my turn

I believe Flickerdart had the luck throughout our games to pick kings and queens that are long-lived for some reason.

[The Great Wyrm]

Let me guess: the Badshah became a vampire?

[Rockphed]

Let me guess: the Badshah became a vampire?

I'll do you one better: The Badshah went crazy, melded a bunch of desert creatures onto himself, and is going to live for a thousand years while his shock troops spread destruction across the galaxy.

[Flickerdart]

I'll do you one better: The Badshah went crazy, melded a bunch of desert creatures onto himself, and is going to live for a thousand years while his shock troops spread destruction across the galaxy.

It was more like thousands and thousands of soul-crushing decadence revolts.

I have the gameplay done and will post the update and saves on Thursday. In the meantime, you can roll for the next guy, who is the opposite of the one I got in every way.

[Grif]

It was more like thousands and thousands of soul-crushing decadence revolts.

I have the gameplay done and will post the update and saves on Thursday. In the meantime, you can roll for the next guy, who is the opposite of the one I got in every way.

Half-wit son? Oh boy. Memememememeem!

...

Unfortunately, the dice disagrees.

For the Arabian Empire!

(1d100)[1]

[The Great Wyrm]

I thought Open succession would prevent any catastrophically bad sons from inheriting. I wonder what happened.

[Rockphed]

I thought Open succession would prevent any catastrophically bad sons from inheriting. I wonder what happened.

Open Succession just means that whichever son has the highest ranking title when we die inherits, right? So if they acquire a title by means other than our largess, they can inherit despite our best/worst efforts.

[Flickerdart]

Badshah Muhammad the Lion-hearted - Part 2: Nobody's Business but the Turks

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The war was over, though much blood had been shed on both sides. Muhammad puts his sons and brothers in charge of the new lands, keeping only Constantinople in his personal demesne, so that he may keep a watch on his decadent relatives and help them straighten up. Unfortunately, while he had hoped that his children would take their new responsibilities seriously, it was not to be - for the spoils of war can be spent on liquor and women as well as on wages and construction!


Fortunately for Muhammad, his victory over the Kafirs has given Islamic doctrine a hefty weight in discussions about how one should lead one's life. If the Muslim way was wrong, why did Allah grant victory over the Christians? Nasreddin is seemingly convinced by this logic, and promises to abandon his ways.


Muhammad's argument works just as well on the local Orthodox lords, who are happy to convert. Some of them need to be persuaded with large sums of gold, but there is a lot of that going around.


Satisfied with his new vassals' obedience, Muhammad permits his generals to disband their levies, and pays his mercenaries for the final time. Almost immediately, this turns out to have been premature - factions pop up left and right, wanting to seize power for themselves now that they no longer had immediate evidence of Muhammad's military might. Deciding to sway them with mercy rather than more violence, the Badshah doles out another round of gifts. After all, who would be upset over the loss of alcohol when they could have fine Arabian coffee instead?


Of course, there were still hold-outs - old vassals who knew the Badshah well and were tired of his rule. But there were other ways of silencing their rebellious speeches. Not even Allah's mercy was infinite.


Meanwhile, the defeat of Byzantium has shaken the Greeks' confidence in their Basileus. A revolt pits brother against brother, the rebels' choice of leader only highlighting how little they thought of the reigning emperor.


But to laugh at the Christians for their weak, disarrayed, and ineffectual state is to forget that there is an entire continent full of them. But on this day, the Badshah receives a grim reminder - a declaration of war by King Charles II, the closest thing Europe has to an Emperor. Three kingdoms - Italy, Lotharingia, and Burgundy - unite under one banner and march to claim the land that was bought with so much Arab blood.


Looking forward to mustering the righteous defenders of his realm, Muhammad is shocked to discover that not a single vassal would answer the call to arms. No doubt they are too busy reveling in decadence!


Fortunately, the Badshah's own men are loyal to him and not the hashish peddlers. Muhammad's personal guard and hired mercenaries accompany him into Italy. Before long, Muhammad shows that he is still very much Lion-hearted despite his taste for theology in his later years. The enemy brings superior numbers to bear, but the Badshah's prowess as a commander has never known an equal.


Meanwhile, the lords of Rumelia continue to plumb the depths of apathy. A 5000-man Italian force was able to breach the front lines and run amok in the region, but not a single warrior was raised to defend it. Muhammad spends months chasing down the mobile enemy, eventually nailing them down in Philippopolis.


The Badshah is almost over-eager to return from the war - he has been unable to devote as much time to religious matters as a man of his age rightly should, and nearly whips himself into a frenzy trying to show devotion to Islam. A lesser man would have let the horrors of war change him, but Muhammad is no worse for wear.


Well, nearly. The strenuous regimen of fasting expected from observers of Ramadan takes its toll on the old man's body at last.


Encouraged by their patriarch's infirmity, the Fatimid dynasty resumes its public displays of decadence. Muhammad's patience has run its course, and upon hearing yet another report that Prince Nasreddin skipped evening prayers to race camels with his friends, the Badshah orders the imprisonment of his son. Muhammad spends the next few years jailing his decadent family members, but they keep inexplicably escaping, requiring more armed guards and more commotion. Already, he hears the murmurs, or perhaps imagines them - the old man has gone wrathful in his late years, lashing out at the world for no good reason.


The whispers abruptly stop - once the patience of the people wears thin and a massive armed revolt appears in the desert, everyone is suddenly begging Muhammad to come save them, conveniently forgetting that they called him a tyrant not a few days ago.


When his vassals come to him with a demand for independence, Muhammad is almost glad to be rid of them. These were the fools that would not protect their own homes, that would not respect the teachings of Mohammed, that would collude and plot behind their lord's back with factions and plots! Though pride stirs deep within him and urges him to fight, Muhammad finds it within himself to quash the impious thought. This time, it would be better to avoid spilling Muslim blood.



Unfortunately, while Muhammad had done well unto others, others would not do well unto him. He had no shortage of enemies, and perhaps feeling that the aging Badshah had grown weak and vulnerable, a sinister hand brought this chapter of history to a close.

Comments

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Well, never tried managing decadence before. Turns out it's hard! Also never actually brushed up against the Vassal Limit like this before.

It was so weird how all his children kept glitching out of prison. I worked up a -200 Tyranny modifier just throwing them back into jail, and drained all the piety (and then some) convincing them to stop being decadent.

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[Grif]

Hm. So did we just grant independent to a bunch of vassals? Or am I reading it wrong?

[Flickerdart]

Yes, a slew of disloyal vassals (most notably the Sultan of Baluchistan and a handful of counties in Greece) are now independent.

[Valley]

PTW - Love your other succession games and wish to see how this one turns out.

[OrcusMcP]

PTW - Love your other succession games and wish to see how this one turns out.

Perhaps you should roll to take a turn?

[Valley]

Perhaps you should roll to take a turn?

We will see. Right now, as you may know from my other posts, I am playing a not-so-powerful vassal in the Byzantine Empire and want to see if I can survive till the end date. Also have a Hoi3 AAR on Paradox Interactive forums right now - so too many irons in the fire. But my first game, to test out how to play the game, I WAS the Umayyad in Spain, so I kind of know the ropes when dealing with the Faith of Islam, God be Praised. It would be nice to just play the game and not have to play one of the sons afterwards - they cause so much trouble....

So i will watch for now.