Schlock Mercenary VI: Eat It, Kill It, Make Friends With It, Take a Bath in It

[Rockphed]

This is the thread to discuss Howard Taylor's webcomic, Schlock Mercenary!

Previous thread here.

Last time, on Schlock Mercenary, some pirates are trying to steal the incredibly valuable Cindercone, presumably to sell its hull on the market. Schlock, Ebby, and Xeno squad are trying to take care of one of the prongs of the attack inside the hull. Captain and Commodore Tagon are trying to take care of the rest of the prongs outside. Kevin is perturbed that the Tagon's aren't trying to stand between his command and the ordinance raining down on it.

(For those wondering, inspiration for the title came from here.)

[memnarch]

While it would have been nice to have a more recent reference for the title, this is still a good one.

(also, you got a couple errors you might want to fix in the post there)

[guttering flame]

I thought at first the unioc was our own Xeno leader.

By the way the title source link is broken.

[Kantaki]

Are Toughs boarding the Sanctum Adroit Depot now? I hope this doesn't end with Jumpstar Prime loosing its policeforce...

On another note, why is one of the Sanctum Adroit guys in the sunday-comic wearing civilan clothes and dual wielding screwdrivers? Is that their janitor?

[Grim Portent]

On another note, why is one of the Sanctum Adroit guys in the sunday-comic wearing civilan clothes and dual wielding screwdrivers? Is that their janitor?

I think those are meant to be underwear rather than civilian clothes. Presumably he wasn't in uniform when they grouped up to decide what to do and he hasn't hide time to get dressed yet.

I think the 'screwdrivers' are some kind of weighted blunt weapon, maybe similar to a police baton.

[NEO|Phyte]

So unless I've forgotten what Pi looks like, it seems that we have a new demolitions grunt, wonder if he'll survive/get a name.

[Bulldog Psion]

So unless I've forgotten what Pi looks like, it seems that we have a new demolitions grunt, wonder if he'll survive/get a name.

Yes, looks like a new guy. Unless Howard's having a bad day drawing.

This one almost looks sane, also. Like some slightly humorless square-jawed type, but less outwardly crazy than Pi or even Pronto. Of course, we'll probably be learning more about his particular madness if he lasts long enough to get a name and personality.

[eschmenk]

New comic

Spoiler

Show

Schlock is apparently in the process of swallowing everyone in the barracks. I don't know how Perkey's helmet camera could be recording what Schlock is doing.

The mustached officer looks as if he's wondering if that's his foot in front of him. He had better hope it's not.

Now, Schlock looks threatening.

[Alent]

Yes, looks like a new guy. Unless Howard's having a bad day drawing.

This one almost looks sane, also. Like some slightly humorless square-jawed type, but less outwardly crazy than Pi or even Pronto. Of course, we'll probably be learning more about his particular madness if he lasts long enough to get a name and personality.

Pi would never have made a hole too small. Clearly this means we are dealing with someone too new and too sane to be doing this job.

[memnarch]

Pi would never have made a hole too small. Clearly this means we are dealing with someone too new and too sane to be doing this job.

Maybe it's this guy. Clearly Pi didn't do his job properly if it is.

[NEO|Phyte]

Maybe it's this guy. Clearly Pi didn't do his job properly if it is.

Even accounting for art changes, the nose on the new guy looks too broad to be that guy.

New comic

Spoiler

Show

Schlock is apparently in the process of swallowing everyone in the barracks. I don't know how Perkey's helmet camera could be recording what Schlock is doing.

The mustached officer looks as if he's wondering if that's his foot in front of him. He had better hope it's not.

Now, Schlock looks threatening.

Spoiler

Show

If he was eating people, he wouldn't bother field stripping their guns. He's restraining them. And yeah that guy is probably wondering if that's his foot he's looking at.

[Rockphed]

If he was eating people, he wouldn't bother field stripping their guns. He's restraining them. And yeah that guy is probably wondering if that's his foot he's looking at.

I get the "I am actively not killing all you people! Why won't you admit that we are friends yet?" vibe from Schlock.

And I was going to go with "Make it friendly" for the thread title (as was the consensus in the last thread), but the points of Schlock's moral compass are somewhat more explanatory of what our beloved (or behated as the case may be) comic is about.

[Douglas]

Schlock seems a lot closer to a grey goo disaster scenario now than he used to be, with all this spreading tentacles and thin Schlocky membranes all over the place to tackle everyone at once.

[eschmenk]

Spoiler

Show

If he was eating people, he wouldn't bother field stripping their guns. He's restraining them. And yeah that guy is probably wondering if that's his foot he's looking at.

Spoiler

Show

I don't think he's digesting anyone, but I think he is stuffing people inside of himself in order to restrain them. He did that in order to question someone early on. BTW, after the questioning, he tried to restrain that guy a different way that wasn't nearly as effective. Schlock has eaten other people without physically harming them, too. Mental harm would probably be another mater, though.

[memnarch]

Even accounting for art changes, the nose on the new guy looks too broad to be that guy.

...

Yeah, that's true. But it's the only other demolitions guy that I can think of that the Toughs have or had with any panel time.

[NEO|Phyte]

I get the "I am actively not killing all you people! Why won't you admit that we are friends yet?" vibe from Schlock.

Eh, while he has his moments of being utterly childlike, I'm not quite getting that vibe from him currently. This feels more like going through the motions because he isn't allowed to have fun with it. Once the joy of surprising the heck out of them wore off, it turned into a boring 'stop these guys without causing undue harm to them'.

I can certainly see him going 'Sorry about that time I had to forcibly restrain all of you, we're still friends, right?' once this is all said and done, though.

[Cikomyr]

I have waited years for this.

"TENTACLES!!! TENTACLES!!!!" (*kicks everyone in the nuts*)

[factotum]

OK, so the boarding party didn't even come in through the comms room. Does that mean that Moustache Guy from the previous strip is actually going there to root out the traitors? Or did Schlock lie and tell them the attack was coming there in order to misdirect them from the actual attack vector?

[NEO|Phyte]

OK, so the boarding party didn't even come in through the comms room. Does that mean that Moustache Guy from the previous strip is actually going there to root out the traitors? Or did Schlock lie and tell them the attack was coming there in order to misdirect them from the actual attack vector?

It is a poorly designed facility that keeps key locations along exterior surfaces.

[factotum]

It is a poorly designed facility that keeps key locations along exterior surfaces.

A comms room will likely be needing some sort of external facility in order to operate, whether that be a radio aerial or a comms laser, so is vulnerable to attack from the outside regardless of what they do.

[eschmenk]

OK, so the boarding party didn't even come in through the comms room. Does that mean that Moustache Guy from the previous strip is actually going there to root out the traitors? Or did Schlock lie and tell them the attack was coming there in order to misdirect them from the actual attack vector?

I think the mustache guy is being grabbed by Schlock. I think he intended to battle the rest of the platoon, but didn't manage to get far enough to interfere nor even for Ebby to hear the fighting.

I guess the Ebby was forced to go down some halls to reach the Comms section, so the Comms section is probably internal.

[factotum]

I think the mustache guy is being grabbed by Schlock.

Yeah, you're probably right--the guy on the left of the last panel definitely looks pretty similar to the chap from two strips ago, I missed that.

[NEO|Phyte]

A comms room will likely be needing some sort of external facility in order to operate, whether that be a radio aerial or a comms laser, so is vulnerable to attack from the outside regardless of what they do.

The actual comm unit doesn't have to be butted up against the control room, it can be connected through wiring. (preferably run through channels that are too small for (most) sophonts to be able to squeeze through)

And unrelated, while poking through the archive to make sure I spelled sophont correctly (haven't found a strip with it to confirm), it appears that the grunt that assisted Pi with negligent regicide was one Corporal Towwick (rank and full name appears in the next strip). Two years of art progression, but the uniform matches, the hair matches, and the nose is probably as close of a match as we'll get with the two year gap.

:edit: and while I'm poking around, panel 5, annie plants can be configured to hold in atmosphere, so we've got a possible explanation for Cindercone's hull not being vacuum.

[Kantaki]

New comic.

And they are still bickering. I know that the Toughs have a tendency to do so, but they are in a battle right now. Can't they start shooting at something? Well, looking at Tagon's last line he thinks the same way.

The Broken Wind looks like she got some scratches in the first panel.

[eschmenk]

The Broken Wind looks like she got some scratches in the first panel.

If you look back at the last few times we saw her, she had similar marks some of the times. I don't know why. I don't know when they started to appear. She didn't seem to have them at the beginning of the book.

I understand that Broken Wind is probably more than six light seconds from many of the pirate vessels, but if the pirate vessels are flying in straight lines since Cindercone can't fire back, they could still be targeted by the long range guns. The ones chasing Broken Wind would be closer and could probably be targeted even if they aren't flying in straight lines.

I wouldn't be surprised if the general galaxy news is very important, though. There may be more going on than just this pirate attack since the Port Authority ships are missing.

[Marcelinari]

Hold on, the Toughs spent 20 minutes dithering around deciding what to do to respond to the sudden ambush? It took them that long to communicate to their hierarchies what was going on and to okay a counterattack? I'm astonished they aren't all atomic dust by now.

[Bulldog Psion]

Hold on, the Toughs spent 20 minutes dithering around deciding what to do to respond to the sudden ambush? It took them that long to communicate to their hierarchies what was going on and to okay a counterattack? I'm astonished they aren't all atomic dust by now.

Just goes to show these pirates are really, really incompetent.

[eschmenk]

Hold on, the Toughs spent 20 minutes dithering around deciding what to do to respond to the sudden ambush? It took them that long to communicate to their hierarchies what was going on and to okay a counterattack? I'm astonished they aren't all atomic dust by now.

Approx 1.5 weeks ago:

To me, it doesn't look like either side is trying very hard to win. The pirates are acting as if they are ignorant (not entirely their fault) and many (all?) of them also seem very stupid. The Toughs are acting lazy. Karl is acting as if he finally became curious about the battle.

To be fair, Ebby's counterattack was authorized very quickly. Other than that, though, the Tough's performance has seemed very bad. We know Kaff wants to use the long guns to merely disable the pirate ships, but he doesn't even seem to be trying to use the long guns at all.

As far as we know, Kaff could call on long gun hits on at least some of the pirates. If those going after Cindercone start evading he could try to head back and pick off individual ones. If too many go after Broken Wind, he could zip back out of the jammed area and use the long guns to get the ones chasing him. Some of the pirates are probably trailing Cindercone, but are hanging back outside the jammed area or barely inside of it, and he could go after those soon after taking care of the ones chasing him.

Just goes to show these pirates are really, really incompetent.

So the battle is just really boring and pointless?

ADDED: At least the pirates and Toughs don't seem to be as completely horrible as the SA personnel. Twenty minutes after their comms went down and several minutes after their point defenses started firing and multi-megaton weapons started exploding within a couple of km of their depot, the vast majority of them still had no clue that something was wrong. An entire barracks is being subdued by one intruder. The officer in the barracks didn't even attempt to contact any other officers elsewhere in the depot in order to get orders or coordinate anything.

[factotum]

We know Kaff wants to use the long guns to merely disable the pirate ships, but he doesn't even seem to be trying to use the long guns at all.

How do we know that? The very first thing in today's strip is "messages sent". One assumes those include the messages back to base to bring the long guns into play.

[halfeye]

It would be interesting if the mole was an attorney drone, because the Toughs sold the right to kill those to Sanctum Adroit, who might at this moment not be quite organised enough to do it.