Confessions

[Lethologica]

I am a compulsive editor. I can hardly post anything on this forum without having to amend myself. I bet if someone scraped the forum to come up with a ranking of posters by edit ratio (number of own posts edited / number of posts written or number of self-edits / number of posts), I would be up there. ("Own posts" and "self-edits" because otherwise mods top the list by necessity.)

Pssst...

Wanna try some TV Tropes?

*flails* Get away! Get away from me!

(The nice thing about TVTropes, though, is that the essential information for a given page takes a very short time to read. While TVTropes tabs tend to proliferate within a single browsing session because you want to complete the page while also checking out all the cool links, there's rarely a reason to keep those tabs open when you decide to do something else.)

[FinnLassie]

I love the effects that Pokemon Go has on people - socialising, it's helping others with their anxiety and depression, etc. What I don't like however is how it's pretty much the only thing that my IRL friends are doing nowadays and I'm just not into it at all and have never liked Pokemon... and probably never will. Everyone else is social but now I'm left alone.

[Eldariel]

I have finally fully acknowledged the realisation that my behaviour with regards to partner dance nowadays is akin to that of a missionary. It's something I advertise to pretty much everybody with whom I have a conversation in any length, and anywhere I can pull it off, I try to offer non-dancing people the experience in hopes that they enjoy it and perhaps even consider starting themselves. Other times I might perform for a bit with a skilled partner in order for much the same reason. The best part? It appears I've been able to touch many a heart, and there is yet to be a single person who'd come to ask for a recompense for false advertisement

[FinnLassie]

You indeed were very keen to convert at least me to the world of dancing before and slightly during Ropecon, Eldariel. But I will not succumb to your heathen ways! joking, of course ;)

[Eldariel]

You indeed were very keen to convert at least me to the world of dancing before and slightly during Ropecon, Eldariel. But I will not succumb to your heathen ways! joking, of course ;)

Mmm, but if I press juuust the right buttons... To make it sound as wrongright as possible: join us and let yourself drown in the sweetest of pleasures... Na, the beauty of dance of course is that it speaks for itself once you get started. It's just the matter of getting people that far Partner dance is like cheating on the pleasure-front though; you get the endorphins from physical activity, the experience of the fine arts from the free, improvised dance sequence within the framework of the style and the music, the primal pleasure invoked by the music itself, and the pleasure produced by the physical intimacy and social connection with your partner (and of course, the social belonging inherent in almost any hobby).

[8BitNinja]

I have finally fully acknowledged the realisation that my behaviour with regards to partner dance nowadays is akin to that of a missionary. It's something I advertise to pretty much everybody with whom I have a conversation in any length, and anywhere I can pull it off, I try to offer non-dancing people the experience in hopes that they enjoy it and perhaps even consider starting themselves. Other times I might perform for a bit with a skilled partner in order for much the same reason. The best part? It appears I've been able to touch many a heart, and there is yet to be a single person who'd come to ask for a recompense for false advertisement

Please explain to me how. I would like to know. This isn't sarcasm either, I would honestly like to know.

[Eldariel]

Please explain to me how. I would like to know. This isn't sarcasm either, I would honestly like to know.

To be clear, your question concerns the point of how I go about giving people such experiences? Well, mostly by dancing with them myself. That's the beauty of dancing the leader's part; the follower doesn't really need to know what she's doing (on the basic level). This goes especially if we dance something rather simple where I can offer the partner some chances to get through some figures successfully and feel that they can dance (and that it's awesome). Though observers seem to get a fair bit out of it too.

[Bartmanhomer]

I believe and afraid of intergalatic space aliens.

[8BitNinja]

To be clear, your question concerns the point of how I go about giving people such experiences? Well, mostly by dancing with them myself. That's the beauty of dancing the leader's part; the follower doesn't really need to know what she's doing (on the basic level). This goes especially if we dance something rather simple where I can offer the partner some chances to get through some figures successfully and feel that they can dance (and that it's awesome). Though observers seem to get a fair bit out of it too.

That makes sense actually. Thank you for telling me

I watch Ancient Aliens for the sole purpose of making fun of it with my friends. Does that make me a jerk?

[2D8HP]

I watch Ancient Aliens for the sole purpose of making fun of it with my friends. Does that make me a jerk?

Only if the creators of the show can hear you, and maybe not even then.
Confession:
I don't have cable and never knew about the "Ancient Aliens" show until I looked it up after seeing the post quoted above.
"Ancient Aliens" sounds a lot like the "In Search of" show I watched in the 1970's and 80's, that Leonard Nimoy hosted (yes he did it after Star Trek was cancelled).
Maybe LSD really was in the water because I remember that grown-ups really believed in that stuff.
Saturday Night Live did a parody of it.

[Ulthraun]

I can eat a whole pineapple in one sitting with ranch.... lol

[FinnLassie]

Mmm, but if I press juuust the right buttons... To make it sound as wrongright as possible: join us and let yourself drown in the sweetest of pleasures... Na, the beauty of dance of course is that it speaks for itself once you get started. It's just the matter of getting people that far Partner dance is like cheating on the pleasure-front though; you get the endorphins from physical activity, the experience of the fine arts from the free, improvised dance sequence within the framework of the style and the music, the primal pleasure invoked by the music itself, and the pleasure produced by the physical intimacy and social connection with your partner (and of course, the social belonging inherent in almost any hobby).

One thing that I've noticed is that if a man can lead the dance properly it's very easy for the woman to follow the basic dance sequence. I mean, sometimes you see a man just basically glide their partner through the dance floor - impressing yet a tad intimidating. But I guess that the partner has to have at least some sense of rhythm to get to that gliding-level...

I actually had a dream about meeting you at a bachata music & dance lecture/introduction thingy. You're taking the dance into my subconsciousness!... In the dream I noticed that I was in the wrong class (it all actually turned into a nightmare after that because I was back at a primary ed class back in Scotland ) and just happened to say hi.

[Mjr Lee Fat]

Confession time? Here's what I got: my fellow soldiers'll tell you I'm a terrible shot.

Bonus points to you if you get the reference. But I actually do have real confessions. Most of them are mild, but I don't have any people to actually tell them to:

1) I play too much Fallout Shelter (even with those......FREAKING......radscorpions).
2) I make a lot of penis jokes. A lot.
3) I'm really awful at keeping in contact with friends if I'm not around them on a constant basis.
4) I'm pretty bitter that no one responded to me when I made my introduction post a year ago.
5) I really enjoy the movie Valentine's Day.
6) I spend too much time on these forums during work.
7) I started feeling like I wasn't accomplishing anything at work, so I've been keeping a journal where I write down everything work-related that I do.
8) I use video games to distract me from my depression.

[Bartmanhomer]

I'm the Zodiac Killer. *Evil LOL*

[Eldariel]

One thing that I've noticed is that if a man can lead the dance properly it's very easy for the woman to follow the basic dance sequence. I mean, sometimes you see a man just basically glide their partner through the dance floor - impressing yet a tad intimidating. But I guess that the partner has to have at least some sense of rhythm to get to that gliding-level...

Heh, the partner's sense of rhythm is actually rather irrelevant, at least in closed position dances. The follower gets the rhythm from the leader (and it has to be this way: every song offers many layers of rhythm to follow and the dance doesn't work if the lead and the follow aren't on the same page). However, the follower has to have some sensitivity to the leader's impulses for that to work. Otherwise it's very hard to keep it smooth. Most importantly, the follow has to let the lead to actually lead the dance; if the follow kills the energy and impulses, it just doesn't work. It took us ~10 minutes to get this right with my last ex (she wasn't used to the idea of letting go).

Spoiler: Story time

Show

That said, you're correct on basic dance sequence being quite easy to follow, and that's something I often abuse: on a basic level, a follower basically doesn't need to know what they're doing. As long as they just let me in, I can give them the direction, the energy and the rhythm. E.g. this last Thursday I was at Linnanmäki dances 18-20 and there was this younger girl maybe 16?) who had never danced before in her life. I asked her for a quick Bugg and she eventually assented. Her initial opposition was because she was initially absolutely certain that she can't dance (and earlier that evening, she had been asked for a schottische, a rather complex dance, by a less experienced lead who'd left her on stage which made me feel real bad for her): it took us maybe 30 seconds until she was really into it, following the various spins and turns with no problem. After the dance I overheard her talking to her mother about starting a dance course

These events actually provoked me to write this little confession. Not the first time this ever happened: I was bestowed the title of "Dance Missionary" a year ago already by some singers from the Tavastia student nation. It was, however, fresh on my mind and memorable and made me realise how darn good it feels to give someone such a good time, to help them overcome their own negative predisposal, and to erase that travesty of a dance introduction this other signor had provided her with.

I actually had a dream about meeting you at a bachata music & dance lecture/introduction thingy. You're taking the dance into my subconsciousness!... In the dream I noticed that I was in the wrong class (it all actually turned into a nightmare after that because I was back at a primary ed class back in Scotland ) and just happened to say hi.

Hah, this is the first time I'm aware of where I've popped by in a pre-nightmare! But actually, I should take some more Bachata-classes; I'm on a very basic level there yet. Clearly your brain is trying to tell you that you want to take some dance classes and enjoy yourself (...lest you end up back in Scotland primary ed?). If it's even partially my fault, I regret nothing Though too bad dance and music didn't have the power to save that dream yet - all in good time, I'm sure

[8BitNinja]

Only if the creators of the show can hear you, and maybe not even then.
Confession:
I don't have cable and never knew about the "Ancient Aliens" show until I looked it up after seeing the post quoted above.
"Ancient Aliens" sounds a lot like the "In Search of" show I watched in the 1970's and 80's, that Leonard Nimoy hosted (yes he did it after Star Trek was cancelled).
Maybe LSD really was in the water because I remember that grown-ups really believed in that stuff.
Saturday Night Live did a parody of it.

Another confession, but not really.

I don't have cable either. I watched the majority of episodes via internet.

[Bartmanhomer]

I'm Denzel Washington.

[8BitNinja]

Although I hate singing in front of people, I sing to myself all the time.

It's actually kind of embarrassing.

[Bartmanhomer]

Although I hate singing in front of people, I sing to myself all the time.

It's actually kind of embarrassing.

Me too even though I sing terribly.

[Lethologica]

I sing to myself whether or not I'm around other people, but I learn new songs very slowly if ever. So unless you feel like listening to Lethologica's Greatest Hits, I probably wear out my welcome pretty quickly.

[AdmiralCheez]

I have terrible sense of pitch, and therefore can't and don't sing. I do play saxophone though, which I'm much better at.

[Herobizkit]

I haven't been in love since 1999.

[2D8HP]

I haven't been in love since 1999.

It's said "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I'm not sure that's true.
When you love, when you're loved on is unhappy, you're unhappy,.When they pass you mourn,. When they stop looking at you with love you mourn that as well.
It seems that "never to have loved at all" could save you a lot of pain.

[8BitNinja]

I haven't been in love since 1999.

So you never cared about someone more than yourself since 1999?

Or am I thinking of the wrong kind of love?

[Eldariel]

It's said "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". I'm not sure that's true.
When you love, when you're loved on is unhappy, you're unhappy,.When they pass you mourn,. When they stop looking at you with love you mourn that as well.
It seems that "never to have loved at all" could save you a lot of pain.

Spoiler

Show

Basically every action you take has a chance of bringing pain unto you. Every source of happiness carries a potential for loss. However, feelings both good and bad are absolutely integral to our functioning as humans; valuing life, learning things, happiness, purpose, none of that can take place without emotional experience. Pain itself can be worth experiencing. Indeed, emotions are strongly linked to among others forging memories (in the sense of learning as well as having). Thus, I'd say that old adage holds at least a seed of truth. Though certainly, I'm sure many people have had fulfilling lives without having loved; but given that's where the strongest human emotions lie, I'd suggest against shutting that door entirely out of fear. It can be the experience that allows you to bring about your brightest flash before you inevitably dim down and vanish. To me, it seems obvious this is worth it due to the fleeting nature of human life. Even pain only lasts for a hundred years at worst.

[Winter_Wolf]

So you never cared about someone more than yourself since 1999?

Or am I thinking of the wrong kind of love?

There's a difference between loving someone and being in love. One of those weird things that you don't really get until you do. Even when its explained in crystal clear exacting detail. Being in love is highly overrated, though.

Addendum: loving other people more than yourself can be a recipe for disaster, because there's the trap of becoming someone's slave. I can't really think of a better way to put it, either. Putting some else first leads to becoming their doormat if you don't set and stick to boundaries. You'll be surprised how many people end up believing that it's their right to step all over you, once they've done it a time or two. But hey, if you're able to realize a more romanticized version of that, more power to you.

Also, I love everyone, but I sure as hell don't like most of 'em.

[Herobizkit]

Yeah, exactly. I've cared for many people since then, but I haven't' felt the mind-altering insanity of pure unadulterated happy love since 99. I imagine it's partly due to age and party due to my life situation - I don't date or get out much these days. I did have a pretty amazing summer with someone special in 2006 but the timing and the life experience was way off.

[Winter_Wolf]

I think it's safe to say I'm not crazy, because I can't even wrap my mind around being able to divorce myself from reality so completely that I can truly believe in and interact with figments of my imagination as if they were real while being unable to accept their unreality (eg being told by literally everyone else there's nothing there).

But on the other hand, I can't find my good underwear or the removable shelves for the book case even though I'm 100% sure they were here and accounted for after moving to the new place. Along with a few other odds n ends, but the underwear and book shelves in particular have no good reason for disappearing like that. And my first through third thoughts were to blame it on burglar gnomes. Or the hat I bought at Sea World. I wore it less then five times and it disappeared.

At least my head is firmly attached to my shoulders.

[8BitNinja]

Addendum: loving other people more than yourself can be a recipe for disaster, because there's the trap of becoming someone's slave. I can't really think of a better way to put it, either. Putting some else first leads to becoming their doormat if you don't set and stick to boundaries. You'll be surprised how many people end up believing that it's their right to step all over you, once they've done it a time or two. But hey, if you're able to realize a more romanticized version of that, more power to you.

Also, I love everyone, but I sure as hell don't like most of 'em.

I hate to continue this, since what I said was a joke, but that really isn't love.

From the information I've been able to gather, there are three forms of love.

Agape: Brotherly love. The kind of love where you put others ahead of yourself, make sacrifices for others, and even to the point of being willing to die for others.

Philios: love of friends. You like hanging out with these people and can even share problems and life experiences with those you love like this.

Eros: The love that most people talk about today and refer to as "love". This is sexual desire and attraction. However, unlike lust, it leads into lasting relationships.

So you do love people, but only the philios love if you don't put others ahead of you or you aren't attracted to someone. If we are using the definition that the Ancient Greeks made, you are missing love in your life.

Yeah, exactly. I've cared for many people since then, but I haven't' felt the mind-altering insanity of pure unadulterated happy love since 99. I imagine it's partly due to age and party due to my life situation - I don't date or get out much these days. I did have a pretty amazing summer with someone special in 2006 but the timing and the life experience was way off.

See above paragraph.

[Winter_Wolf]

@8BitNinja: as you like, but I'm neither an Ancient Greek nor do I subscribe to those definitions. In any case I have all three of those types of love, but it's a very short list of who is on it. The type of love I was referring to is part of a religion's teachings, so I won't really go into specifics, but essentially it's perfectly possible to love people while simultaneously intensely disliking them.

But yeah, I didn't get the joke. Don't feel bad, most people don't find my jokes funny.