Home 22: Our neighborhood watch is extra vigilant

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

Jace leans back in his seat, crossing his arms and "considering" it.
"Maybe, once we get this body off of our floor. Can't have a lesson in a crowded workspace." he says, looking to see just how much she'll offer to do with that.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

"Oh, okay! I'll clean it up!" Khannie volunteers as she begins gathering the skeletal remains on top of a rug, no doubt with the intention of dragging it out of the room. Probably planning on just dumping it in the trash, too. What a silly pokemon Khannie is. You can't just throw corpses in the garbage!

Unless the garbage is the mimic that looks like a dumpster that lives behind Trog's Tavern.

In that particular case, throwing bodies in there is totally fine.

Soooooo...

Yeah.

Unless Jace offers a better idea, Khannie will load the skeleton onto the rug, pick up the corners, heft it over her shoulder like a Delibird's sack, and start heading for the back door. The fact that the gross bones are still covered in jelly really doesn't seem to bother her very much.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

Jace clears his throat loudly and waves a hand, causing the closet door to open and reveal the broom and garbage bags that are generally used by civilized people around here. If she looks at him, he'll add raising an eyebrow.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Khannie looks at the garbage bags.

Then down at the skeleton.

Then back at the garbage bags.

"But it was already on the rug!" she protests.

That's a whole lot less work than putting all the pieces into bags.

Who has time for that when there are magic lessons to be had?

Khannie sure doesn't

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

"And that rug is an authentic weave from Krynn, and is worth at least three gold, while a trash back is worth barely a copper. The rug stays. We don't cut corners here." says Khannie's father sternly.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Khannie makes one of those plaintive noises that small children make, though that doesn't stop her from gathering all of the skeleton bits into a trash bag. She even picks up all the little bone fragments with her fingers.

Because she doesn't trust brooms.

There's just something shifty about them...

Once the skeleton has been properly stowed away, she'll start heading for the back door!

Part two!

Who knows what kind of adventure she might encounter on her way to the rubbish bin?

Who knows what kind of danger she might face!

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

Oh yes, dangers indeed.
Dangers such as sun-heated cement, curious dogs, and garbage can lids that won't stay on properly!

Well, and maybe an errant dimensional portal. Usually one way going to the Nexus, but who knows with Fortuna having passed through?
Khannie shouldn't have to worry about those.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Those can all be pretty scary things, the curious dogs in particular.

"Go on, shoo!" Khannie says, waving a paw at the canines. Non-pokemon animals are still pretty weird to her. It doesn't help that about half the animals you meet in the Nexus are talking animals. Talking animals that doesn't say there names, no less! Very strange.

About half way to the dumpster, there comes a sound like rattling dice from nowhere in particular, shortly followed by Khannie lurching to a stop.

Mostly because the bag she was dragging just vanished.

Along with her Kangaskhanite.

And her clothing.

In fact, everything that was on Khannie's person that isn't her is suddenly gone!

Specifically, it just teleported back into Jace's house.

Right on top of his nice rug. Everything non-magical, which basically means everything other than Khannie's pendant, also turned into cuts of meat. Or ice cubes. Or granite. Or gold. Pretty much at random. The skull also animates after transmuting into solid sapphire. "Oh hey cool, I'm sapient now. Imagine that. Doot." Said skull sprouts some nice spidery looking crystal legs and begins to skitter away.

Khannie, meanwhile, is outside looking embarrassed.

"Why am I naked!"

You're a pokemon, Khannie. You spend most of your life naked. It isn't a big deal.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

The canine yelps in surprise at the change in Khannie and backs away.
Jace angrily picks up the skull and flings it out the back door. He hurries over though and with great relief finds Khannie standing outside in her bare little skin/scales/plates and not the pile of meat in the living room.
"Khannie, just come back inside." he says, already tired of all this.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

The skull is hurled out the back door! It bounces several times, giving a shrill "Doot!" with each impact. Once it rolls to a halt, it begins to skitter off again. To freedom!

"Dad, all my clothing and the bags disappeared and it isn't my fault!" Khannie proclaims as she runs over to her father and aims to hug him around the waist. This is all getting rather weird and annoying. When he suggests coming back inside, she really isn't one to protest. Especially since something even weirder might happen! Khannie will waddle alongside Jace, hanging onto him and leaning her cute little head against his side. No doubt the scene is positively adorable.

When they draw near to the door, the sound of rattling dice is heard...

Should they look in through the door?

Rabbits.

Rabbits everywhere.

Rabbits with chocolate eggs in colored foil. Rabbits painting hard boiled eggs and hiding them. There are lagomorphs and dishes full of egg dye all over the place. It's an absolute madhouse! How will they ever get all these hares out of their hair?

"Daddy... why is Miss Fortuna being mean?" Khannie complains.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

"Fortuna is probably just in a nasty mood that makes her want to prank people. Though she had best resist that before Daddy gets her fiancee on the phone. Who can literally get here at the speed of sound." he says, gritting his teeth a bit.
How serious. What would Forte do if Nick were here?
Probably just teleport somewhere else.

But he has another problem at hand, even if Jace is a bit relieved that three rolls later he's still himself. That's better than her usual track record. Though given what Victini looks like, there's prime rabbit joke material here.
"All right everyone, I can see you have a good operation going, but this is private property. I'll give you all a few minutes to clean and pack up, but you all have to go." he says politely (but loudly).

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

"I'm going to go put something else on," Khannie says before running up the stairs, dodging a rabbit or a hidden egg every four steps. Hopefully she won't encounter anything unpleasant up there. Lots of rabbits, though. That's for sure. Lots and LOTS of rabbits. She hops into her room (and scoots some rabbits out of the way of the door), opens her closet (and shoos some rabbits out of the way of her clothing), and begins gathering a new outfit to put on. Maybe something green this time...

Meanwhile!

The rabbits don't even react to Jace.

They just keep painting.

And hiding eggs.

Not really sure where they're getting the chocolate from.

Probably best not to think about it.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

Jace snaps his fingers and there's suddenly quite a few flames appearing throughout the house, burning quite magically.
"Okay, haha, that's cute. Let me rephrase that. Get out of my house before I turn on the defense systems. And if you're making eggs I know you're smart enough to understand speech." he demands.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Fire!

Fire and eggs!

Khannie is totally unaware of what's going on down stairs, mostly because she's busy getting dressed. "Why are you painting those eggs?" And talking to rabbits.

The rabbits simply continue painting. They don't seem terribly interested in conversation. Especially when another rattling sound fills the house... Because this time around things get creepy. First of all, the rabbits spontaneously shed all their fur. Now there are piles of fur all over the floor as it sloughs off the rabbits in clumps.

Khannie watches the process with some degree of worry. "Daaaaaad, the rabbits are being weird," she yells from her room.

Yep.

Weird.

Weird like the rabbits all making that horrible screaming noise rabbits make as flesh covers their little faces like running wax. Their tiny bodies swell and warp as their limbs grow into spindly things with far too many unwholesome joints. Khannie watches with disgust boarding on fear, her little green grovyle hoodie pulled half way over her head. Without a sound, one of the deformed bunnies leaps at Khannie, claws outstretched, and meets a flurry of punches that crumples it like cardboard. The second monster winds up to attack, only to eat a sucker-punch to the gut, causing the nauseatingly elastic horror to crumple around her fist before snapping away and clinging to the far wall like a gigantic pink spider.

"Daaaaaaaad!" Khannie calls out again, a little more desperation in her voice this time.

The rabbits downstairs, meanwhile, are still normal. Well... normal for rabbits painting eggs, anyway. Apparently they're ignoring Jace's warning.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

Jace turns to the sound of Khannie's voice and glares at the rabbits.
"You get away this time. I'll be back." he says before wading upstairs to Khannie's Room.
Whereupon his arrival shall be met by several angry arcane words and the fwoosh sound of Jace flamethrowering the horrors on sight.
After all, his house is fireproofed. Especially the kids' rooms.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

By the time Jace reaches Khannie's room, he'll find his daughter staggering around in a daze, swinging wildly at the horrors that get close in addition to thin air. Her end-table looks like it met the wrong end of her wrath recently. The window in her room is sitting open, the curtains flapping in an ominous breeze. One of the horrors is slashing at her with its claws, but its pretty close and blasting it with fire might not be wise. "Should a verified poison flesh our telephone? Over the thread spits the sweeping motorway. My persecuted carrot peers after the pun!" Khannie babbles incoherently as she flails around. She's got a few scrapes on her, but they don't look very deep.

In utter silence a horror dives at Jace and gets toasted pretty well. The monster's flesh bubbles and runs like wax, causing it to flail about impotently.

With Jace's attention on one of the monsters, he might not notice a second skittering across the ceiling toward him.

Meanwhile!

One of the waxy horrors slinks in through the back door and begins gouging at the other rabbits with its claws! Every single bunny it mauls begins to warp and shift...

Which...

Is probably bad.

Hopefully Zebes gets home soon.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

Jace has Perception maxed out, silly narrator. Seeing the rabbit on the ceiling, Jace fires a lightning bolt at it!
Meanwhile, Zebes arrives from his trip to Elemental Paws Pokemon Adoption center.
And finds the whole place full of rabbits, and rabbit-monsters. He's having none of that.
<WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!> he blasts with supernatural force.
Zebes uses Roar!

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Welp.

Roar works pretty darn well.

The supernatural terror sends the monsters (and still normal rabbits) into a blind panic, causing them to go fleeing from the house through every possible exit! Run away! Run away!

Of course, once they stop fleeing in fear they'll probably start causing trouble again. Just out in the neighborhood rather than inside Jace's house.

Which...

Might be better?

Maybe?

Meanwhile, Jace blasts the vile ceiling horror! The monster drops from its perch, smoking and twitching. Khannie finally manages to fight her way through the confusion, ducking under the faceless horror's slash and counter-attacking with a dynamic punch to the head! Her fist twists as it bites into the monster's noggin before snapping back to a ready position, sending the horror reeling from the force of the blow.

"How do you like being confused, huh? You big ugly jerk!" she chides the rabbit-thing as it gouges at its own flesh in confusion.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

<Oh no you don't!> exclaims Zebes as he does a pretty sweet flying flip to the trio of mutant rabbits as they flee, bringing his tail down heavily upon them.
Zebes uses Aqua Tail!

Jace, satisfied with two of the three room-invading rabbits, outstretches his hand and fires five magic missiles at the rabbit to help Khannie finish it off.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Some doom bunnies are smooshed with tails.

Others get blasted with a whole bunch of magic missiles.

At this point, all the horrors have been chased from the house or destroyed. The things slain act as though they're made of wax, simply melting into puddles that quickly harden again. Getting that out of the rug is going to be a real bugger.

Khannie scowls at the dispatched monsters, giving one of the waxy puddles a kick. Crises over, she looks up at her father plaintively. "Can we go get pizza for dinner? The house keeps filling up with monsters."

Hmm...

She raises a valid point.

A house full of monsters makes having a pleasant dinner difficult.

They also serve as an excellent distraction from long division homework.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

"Maybe, but we have to make sure that there won't be any more magic thrown in our house before we leave. Or else it would be unsafe."
Right. No one wants to come home to find their house alive, or covered in unicorns, or a pile of porridge.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Yes.

Unsafe.

Like getting attacked by that skeleton was unsafe.

Anywho!

Khannie gives a little nod and waits.

For about a minute, glancing around anxiously.

"Can we go now?" she asks. If nothing has happened for a full ten rounds then clearly everything is fine.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

"Just a minute. One more sweep while we get the monster remains off the floor." says Jace, and he and Zebes will sweep the house, looking and sniffing (respectively) for any remaining sources of CHAOS! energy while they busy themselves Prestidigitation'ing the wax off the floor.

[Rebonack]

[Jace's Place]

Khannie gives one of those exasperated sighs that small children are so adept at. She helps clean, but its a bit half hearted. Getting the waxy stuff off the floor is, thankfully, relatively easy. It can simply be peeled off the ground and thrown away. So that's a plus if nothing else. And as for chaos magic...

Well...

The only thing Jace and Zebes will be able to find in the house are the two coins that Fortuna had given them.

But... those couldn't be the source of the trouble...

Right?

Because wouldn't that mean Fortuna cursed something meant for good?

And she would never do that.

[Deathkeeper]

Jace's Place

No, she wouldn't.
So it'll probably be time to go, then. Though our magical heroes will remain vigilant as they leave, just in case Forte is hiding behind a bush on their front lawn or something.

And they'll be going back to Pepper Oni's, doubtlessly not for the first time for Khannie, as it's been a mainstay for Jace and Veronica since their second date. Not that their first real day together was much of a date really, but still. The place is still more or less a cave, and still has seats, and those are really the only constant things about it, since the Oni owners control everything within the place at will.

[UncleWolf]

Jace's Place => Pepper Oni's

As usual, the place seemed to keep the slightly-cheap and slightly-shabby "This is an Italian Restaurant" decorations, but the inside of the cave the restaurant rested within was nice and cool and well lit. The Karaoke stage was unoccupied at the moment, and when the trio sit down, a small blue puff of smoke bursts in the air next to the table to reveal a young blue-skinned demon girl wearing a blank rectangular mask on her face. She wore a red and black summer dress with lots of little bows, and while she gives everyone a curtsy of greeting, she doesn't speak.

[Rebonack]

[Pepper Oni's]

Khannie hops up into her chair, kicking her little feet and waiting for-

Ah hah!

The girl with the blank mask! "I like your dress," Khannie says, giving her very best smile. The strange girl never talks, but that won't stop her from talking to her. After all, someone would get really lonely if no one ever talked to them. Or at least Khannie figures they would. She still really isn't sure what the blue girl is supposed to be. Dad already explained that she isn't some other type of human, despite Khannie's conceptions of how the world works always straying back to that idea. Greetings and mysteries aside, Khannie turns back to her father. "Can part of the pizza be just cheese? The pepperonis are too spicy."

Leave it to children to want cheese pizza.

At least she won't order a WHOLE cheese pizza.

There's no way she could eat all of it.

[Deathkeeper]

Pepper Oni's

"What, Khannie? You mean they have too much kick? I thought you liked that sort of thing." puns Zebes as they sit down.
"Sounds like a plain slice and three chicken slices for the two of us." Jace concludes to the little oni-waitress.
He's always wondered if she actually is that young. Demons and such age oddly.

[UncleWolf]

Pepper Oni's

The little waitress nods before looking up at Jace. A bright yellow question mark poofs into existence above her head and she pulls a falcon's feather out of thin air to hold up at him before waving it around a bit. She's wondering where the bird is, it seems?

[Deathkeeper]

Pepper Oni's

Jace smiles and shakes his head.
"Just us today. I don't think Veronica is working but it was short notice to invite them. They're probably at home."
Hopefully enjoying the games Zebes has been selecting for them. After his first visit he had been trying to find them turn-based games that won't be a problem for their little harpy claws like Mario Kart did.