Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[danielxcutter]

*My Bard may not learn Glibness.
**That does not mean I can use it when I'm not playing a Bard.

[Anonymouswizard]

*My Bard may not learn Glibness.
**That does not mean I can use it when I'm not playing a Bard.

*** Cannot attempt a bluff check to convince the GM I don't have it.

[Belac93]

*No matter how fitting, may not write my rogues' character sheet in/on/with any of the following:

• Invisible Ink
• Code
• Chlorophyll
• Cipher
• Multiple Languages
• Blood
• Playing cards
• Another players character sheet
• Mirrored text

[Anonymouswizard]

From the game I'm currently playing:

* The town of Adventure does not have a distinct lack of quest givers.
** People are not confused by the 20ft monument to the 10 foot pole.

* At no point should the session slow down due to discussion of our character's sexualities and why I haven't played D&D for two years.

* There are problems that a few thousand castings of Prestidigitation can't solve.

[JAL_1138]

*May not bog the game down with innuendo and puns regarding holes.
**May not inadvertently describe hat-feathers in phallic terms (regarding the flexibility of the quill), leading to yet more jokes.
***If asked to "crawl into the elf-hole" (a hole through the rubble in a collapsed hallway, beyond which was an elf NPC), may not comment that "normally they buy me dinner first, but under the present circumstances I'll make an exception."

*It is apparently possible for a bard dressed like a fine-textile merchant who lost a fight with a Cuisinart (and who is wearing a hat that looks like the aftermath of a peacock swallowing a hand-grenade) to be stealthy while actively clearing away rubble.
**Must stop trying to invent progressively more ridiculous similes for my character's attire.
***The bard in the aforementioned ludicrous outfit may not out-stealth the party rogue.
****May not start a discussion over whether pantomimed messages intended to stealthily convey information should be Performance, Sleight-of-Hand, or Deception on the part of the bard, or Insight on the part of the intended recipients of the message.

*May not go off on a tangent about the time one of my characters spent half an hour vomiting live spiders (because Barovia) and was deeply traumatized by the experience.
**May not not metagame because my current character never had a similar experience and would thus not be super-paranoid about going into the hallway full of giant spiders (just normally-paranoid).
***May not be more worried about not damaging my silly hat than getting the giant spider off my head and killing it.

*No matter how many times I attempt to check for monsters on the other side of a closed door by angling a mirror under the gap between it and the floor, I will apparently never roll higher than single digits and should probably stop trying.

[Mith]

I am no longer allowed to bleed monsters into water skins, cast purify water on it and then tell the party i found it from a natural spring.

I am late to state this, but doing this would probably create milk instead of water, since a female mammal filters blood to have all the nutrients, antibodies, and everything required with nothing extra like red blood cells.

*I may not creep out my players by making purify food and water on raw meat have milk run out for juices.

[John Campbell]

* It does not matter what my character's Sleight of Hand is, I cannot stack a deck of many things.

** Not even if I just actually did it with the actual deck of cards we were using to represent the deck while everyone else thought they were watching me shuffle it.

*** I am not allowed to complain if, after I demonstrate my ability to do this, no one believes that my Deadlands character's ridiculous stats were an honest draw.

[IZ42]

*may not wonder aloud why the dwarf king has a slave translator when all nobles of his stature speak common.
**may not nick bread from the dwarf king's feast and use it as a conciliatory gesture to the tiefling
***the eldritch void inside my character's head does not smell of chicken biryani
****Not even if my character really likes chicken biryani

[danielxcutter]

*The term "killing catgirls" does not mean that I can use them as raw materials for necromancy.

[Anonymouswizard]

*May not go off on a tangent about the time one of my characters spent half an hour vomiting live spiders (because Barovia) and was deeply traumatized by the experience.
**May not not metagame because my current character never had a similar experience and would thus not be super-paranoid about going into the hallway full of giant spiders (just normally-paranoid).
***May not be more worried about not damaging my silly hat than getting the giant spider off my head and killing it.

**** May not be going this way because draining the water from the other room took too long.

* May not get to the door of a room, see a fountain and three barrels, and immediately decide the spiders are safer.

[DigoDragon]

*The term "killing catgirls" does not mean that I can use them as raw materials for necromancy.

Don't you mean... Nekomancy?


* I'm banned from shipping the team medic and sniper together as Surgical Precision.

[Guizonde]

Don't you mean... Nekomancy?


* I'm banned from shipping the team medic and sniper together as Surgical Precision.

i grinned ^^

also, last campaign, guess who had the sniper rifle and the scalpel? me. the bloody medic. we actually have a perk named "surgical precision" which allows you to hit in melee using your intelligence bonus as a damage modifier (instead of strength). first time i used it, i snapped someone's spine just above the pelvis with my rifle's stock. to be fair, he had stolen our face's dogs. before you ask, no, i was still not allowed to hit someone's soul, ego, emotions, or confidence (as usual).

[danielxcutter]

Don't you mean... Nekomancy?

You win sir. You win.

Totally unrelated:

*Puns are forbidden, even with max ranks in Perform(Comedy).

[sengmeng]

*public brawls will end in an arrest and trial. "He's my brother" is not a valid defense.

[JAL_1138]

* May not get to the door of a room, see a fountain and three barrels, and immediately decide the spiders are safer.

**The argument for why the spiders are safer may not be that we know we can just stab or shoot spiders until we've rendered that area safe.

*If the dungeon walls rhythmically move in a breathing-like fashion, may not immediately assume our tangent/running gag from last session about everything being mimics was right and proceed accordingly.

[LordCdrMilitant]

Don't you mean... Nekomancy?


* I'm banned from shipping the team medic and sniper together as Surgical Precision.

Speaking of Nekomancy:

I once had a minor boss in a game I ran, who was a necromancer, and a were-housecat, and was thus named the Nekomancer. In truth, it was originally going to be a werewolf, but at the time the party was level 1 and wasn't going to be able to fight a magic-using werewolf any time soon, so I changed it on the fly and selected housecat for the were-form as a sort of a joke. Cat-form was pretty much only used to escape losing battles.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Any character best described as 'the lovechild of a Kerbal and a tinker gnome' is banned. Retroactively if required.

[JAL_1138]

* Any character best described as 'the lovechild of a Kerbal and a tinker gnome' is banned. Retroactively if required.

I'm pretty sure the only difference between Kerbals and Minoi is in physical appearance. They're almost certainly related species, if not different races of the same species.

[John Campbell]

*If the dungeon walls rhythmically move in a breathing-like fashion, may not immediately assume our tangent/running gag from last session about everything being mimics was right and proceed accordingly.

Sounds like something a mimic would say...

[Guizonde]

*if i get pants thrown at me, i must not immediately assume it was due to something i did when in fact another player simply can't hold her drink.
**no more muscat at the gaming table.

Spoiler: explanation

Show

muscat is a very sweet white wine that has so much sugar in it, people forget it's bordering on fortified wine territory in terms of strength. it can get you giggling silly in two glasses. the player was not accustomed to that, and decided to take off her pants because she was hot, and proceeded to throw her pants at me... never playing with her drunk again. we had to call the one-shot off because of it. people were in stitches and lost the will to keep gaming.

[Anonymouswizard]

I'm pretty sure the only difference between Kerbals and Minoi is in physical appearance. They're almost certainly related species, if not different races of the same species.

Point taken.

Ever since the creation of the KSS Bad Idea I'm not sure that I trust them. Who knew that four legs of solid fuel boosters with a tiny payload was a bad way to reach space?

The This Time For Sure line of rockets seems to be getting into space, I just don't know how to get my satellite into orbit.

[JAL_1138]

Point taken.

Ever since the creation of the KSS Bad Idea I'm not sure that I trust them. Who knew that four legs of solid fuel boosters with a tiny payload was a bad way to reach space?

The This Time For Sure line of rockets seems to be getting into space, I just don't know how to get my satellite into orbit.

Perhaps if you were to breed some sort of really large hamster and use them to power a paddlewheel design with a spelljamming helm...

[LordCdrMilitant]

Point taken.

Ever since the creation of the KSS Bad Idea I'm not sure that I trust them. Who knew that four legs of solid fuel boosters with a tiny payload was a bad way to reach space?

The This Time For Sure line of rockets seems to be getting into space, I just don't know how to get my satellite into orbit.

I don't know exactly what you're doing, but a fair number of people I know don't realize that, in order to stay in space, you have to accumulate "horizontal" velocity. While it's more efficient to gradually curve over to the east as you ascend, it's fairly easy with Kerbal's SAS system to bring extra fuel and set up a maneuver node at apogee to accelerate to orbital velocity.


My ships never have enough fuel to take off from and return from other planets, and then the tyranny of the rocket equation kicks in if I try to add more fuel [I'm not Kerbal enough to make rockets that make the N1 feel inadequate with "only" 30 engines]. Compounded by the fact that I don't really know how much fuel it takes to get back, because I don't do the math to find out when my launch windows actually are, and instead just pack enough fuel to change my position in the orbit to catch up to the planet.

[Anonymouswizard]

I don't know exactly what you're doing, but a fair number of people I know don't realize that, in order to stay in space, you have to accumulate "horizontal" velocity. While it's more efficient to gradually curve over to the east as you ascend, it's fairly easy with Kerbal's SAS system to bring extra fuel and set up a maneuver node at apogee to accelerate to orbital velocity.


My ships never have enough fuel to take off from and return from other planets, and then the tyranny of the rocket equation kicks in if I try to add more fuel [I'm not Kerbal enough to make rockets that make the N1 feel inadequate with "only" 30 engines]. Compounded by the fact that I don't really know how much fuel it takes to get back, because I don't do the math to find out when my launch windows actually are, and instead just pack enough fuel to change my position in the orbit to catch up to the planet.

Just messing around with the demo at the moment, I'm not getting the full version until I have a machine that'll be able to run it decently (currently using a rather old laptop and trying to get Baldur's Gate to work on it), but my main problem is more learning the interface, I have a lot of trouble lining my rockets up to thrust into orbit once I've hit space.

[LordCdrMilitant]

Just messing around with the demo at the moment, I'm not getting the full version until I have a machine that'll be able to run it decently (currently using a rather old laptop and trying to get Baldur's Gate to work on it), but my main problem is more learning the interface, I have a lot of trouble lining my rockets up to thrust into orbit once I've hit space.

Setting up a maneuver node at apogee generally helps. You can uses SAS to lock onto the maneuver node, and it will tell you when and how long to burn for.


Also:
*I am no longer allowed to design my own Traveler ship, especially if it has more than 4 points of armor and 30 or more guns.
*If the GM ever declares that there are pirates anywhere, that statement was made in error and is immediately recanted.

[braveheart]

*I may no longer as a wizard ask the paladin how his health is when he is surrounded by enemies
**I may not shave meat off my meat shield

[JAL_1138]

*The verbal and somatic components of Shatter or Thunderwave do not in any way involve any parts of the riff and/or lyrics to John Lee Hooker's "Boom Boom."

[Rater202]

*The Entire Party can't be based on Tenacious D songs.
**Not even in a JoJo campaign with a party full of Stand Users.
***Becuase it's rather jarring when people shout "Tribute!" "Beelzeboss!" and "The Metal!" only for the last guy to randomly shout "Karate!"

[Guizonde]

*unexpectedly, the phrase "serve the hors d'oeuvres" does not mean using a tennis racket.
**it does imply serving them at less than a considerable fraction of the speed of sound, too.
***blunderbusses can't substitute a silver platter, no matter how much funnier it is.

[GravityEmblem]

*I am not allowed to say "dank"
**I am not allowed to make campaigns based on video games