Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

[Guizonde]

...multiple Daemon Astartes? What the hell kind of total murdermonster were you?

the efficient kind, obviously! 0.o

[Rater202]

*making someone read my fanfiction doesn't trigger an alignment check.

[RakiReborn]

...multiple Daemon Astartes? What the hell kind of total murdermonster were you?

Well... stil am. Campaign is still going on, and that is what I'm asking now. We've survived up to 11.5k XP now, and I'm up for something new. Need to test my power field.
We actually had one encounter with one before in a different campaign (before we were tpked by over 60 enemies in one battle), and we obliterated it in one round... we were with 6 chars at about 3k xp each I think? We play tactically I guess... and a (great) bit of luck helps xD
Just very curious about fighting multiple, and willing to let my char die trying :p

[Anonymouswizard]

...multiple Daemon Astartes? What the hell kind of total murdermonster were you?

One that, by the Emperor's divine golden balls, you'll want to stay as far away from as possible. Massive point them to a tomb world and ask them to deal with it.

[Fable Wright]

One that, by the Emperor's divine golden balls, you'll want to stay as far away from as possible. Massive point them to a tomb world and ask them to deal with it.

...Wait, you're attempting an act of Exterminatus on a Necron planet?

[Guizonde]

...Wait, you're attempting an act of Exterminatus sly marbo on a Necron planet?

fixed that for you. that's the name for a one-man exterminatus in the guard.

[Anonymouswizard]

...Wait, you're attempting an act of Exterminatus on a Necron planet?

Of course not, if there were people able to take on and defeat multiple daemon Astartes it would be a waste of resources. Plus we need to get rid of the guy killing daemon Astartes before he decides he has a better idea of how to run the Imperium.

[PhoenixPhyre]

* I may not decide, on a whim based on a joking OOC comment, that it is canon that the crack angelic engineering squad is two brothers with mustaches, one short with a red hat, one tall with a green hat, that speak in fake Italian accents.
** No, the princess isn't in another castle.
** And no, the druid can't summon a fire-breathing turtle when faced with these brothers.

[Personification]

* I may not decide, on a whim based on a joking OOC comment, that it is canon that the crack angelic engineering squad is two brothers with mustaches, one short with a red hat, one tall with a green hat, that speak in fake Italian accents.
** No, the princess isn't in another castle.
** And no, the druid can't summon a fire-breathing turtle when faced with these brothers.

If they are Angels, then is there theme song Ave Mario?

[Guizonde]

If they are Angels, then is there theme song Ave Mario?

*happy dance*

thank you for making my day start just that much more awesome!

[PhoenixPhyre]

If they are Angels, then is there theme song Ave Mario?

Ok, that's canon now as well. My group will love that one.

*happy dance*

thank you for making my day start just that much more awesome!

Agreed.

[LordCdrMilitant]

When playing Dark Heresy 2nd ed:
* I must not complain about enemies being too weak
* I must not ask for xenos as enemies
* I must not ask for daemons as enemis
* I must not ask for Daemon Space Marines (multiple) as enemies.

Wait, am I not supposed to use multiple squads of heretic astartes and their tanks per encounter and expect the players to win?

In the same vein:
*if it would be more efficient for me to roll the attacks for the hostiles as if we were actually playing 40k, 20 Necron Warriors + Ghost Ark + Annihilation Barge + 10 Deathmarks + 5 Lychguard + 2 Night Scythes + 1 Cryptek + 1 Skyshield Landing Pad + 2 Imperial Bastions with Quad Guns + Aegis Barricade with Quad Gun = 2059 points in a Vanguard and 2 Fortification Networks is too many enemies, even for the Deathwatch.
**I cannot consider 2000 point armies to be "balanced encounters" for the party to face.
***Especially if the 2000 points are a Heirophant Bio-titan.

[Guizonde]

Wait, am I not supposed to use multiple squads of heretic astartes and their tanks per encounter and expect the players to win?

In the same vein:
*if it would be more efficient for me to roll the attacks for the hostiles as if we were actually playing 40k, 20 Necron Warriors + Ghost Ark + Annihilation Barge + 10 Deathmarks + 5 Lychguard + 2 Night Scythes + 1 Cryptek + 1 Skyshield Landing Pad + 2 Imperial Bastions with Quad Guns + Aegis Barricade with Quad Gun = 2059 points in a Vanguard and 2 Fortification Networks is too many enemies, even for the Deathwatch.
**I cannot consider 2000 point armies to be "balanced encounters" for the party to face.
***Especially if the 2000 points are a Heirophant Bio-titan.

in the words of trooper cant (tanith 1st): " you fething watch me!"

i feel like i'm probably gonna need to call a few choice orbital bombardments on that one, though. i mean, necron invasions are like tokyo. if they're intact, throw godzilla at it. preferrably from very, very, very high. twice, if possible.

[LordCdrMilitant]

in the words of trooper cant (tanith 1st): " you fething watch me!"

i feel like i'm probably gonna need to call a few choice orbital bombardments on that one, though. i mean, necron invasions are like tokyo. if they're intact, throw godzilla at it. preferrably from very, very, very high. twice, if possible.

The party had actually spent some of it's Req on close air support from a squadron of Thunderbolt Heavy Fighters, which helped them out in that fight. Really, those fighters were the heroes of the day.

Spoiler: Examples of some of my larger encounters

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XV104 Riptide Battlesuit, 12 Breachers, 3 Stealth Suits, 1 Suit Commander w/ Markerdrones, 3 Crisis Suits w/ Markerdrones

2x Hammerhead Tank, 2x Great Knarloc, 24x Fire Warrior Strike Team, 18x Crisis Suits, 9x Broadsides, 6x Stealth Suits, 48x Tactical Drones

120x Genestealers, 1x Broodlord

60x Boyz, 1x Battlewagon, 10x Nobz, 1x Big Mek, 1x Warboss

1x Chaos Sorcerer, 1x Chaos Lord, 250x Cultists, 340x Chaos Astartes, 34x Chaos Rhino, 1x Chaos Predator, 25x Havocs, 27x Cultist Heavy Weapons Teams, 4x Soul Grinder, 2x Bloodthirster, 1x Keeper of Secrets, 15x Rubrics, 30x Bezerkers, 10x Noise Marines, 25x Plague Marines.

An upcoming fight I'm planning for my DW party will involve a Heirophant Bio Titan. However, there's also going to be a Shadowsword hanging around that the party will probably need to rescue so it can help them kill the titan.

[Guizonde]

The party had actually spent some of it's Req on close air support from a squadron of Thunderbolt Heavy Fighters, which helped them out in that fight. Really, those fighters were the heroes of the day.

Spoiler: Examples of some of my larger encounters

Show

XV104 Riptide Battlesuit, 12 Breachers, 3 Stealth Suits, 1 Suit Commander w/ Markerdrones, 3 Crisis Suits w/ Markerdrones

2x Hammerhead Tank, 2x Great Knarloc, 24x Fire Warrior Strike Team, 18x Crisis Suits, 9x Broadsides, 6x Stealth Suits, 48x Tactical Drones

120x Genestealers, 1x Broodlord

60x Boyz, 1x Battlewagon, 10x Nobz, 1x Big Mek, 1x Warboss

1x Chaos Sorcerer, 1x Chaos Lord, 250x Cultists, 340x Chaos Astartes, 34x Chaos Rhino, 1x Chaos Predator, 25x Havocs, 27x Cultist Heavy Weapons Teams, 4x Soul Grinder, 2x Bloodthirster, 1x Keeper of Secrets, 15x Rubrics, 30x Bezerkers, 10x Noise Marines, 25x Plague Marines.

An upcoming fight I'm planning for my DW party will involve a Heirophant Bio Titan. However, there's also going to be a Shadowsword hanging around that the party will probably need to rescue so it can help them kill the titan.

*googly eyes intensify*

wouldn't it just be simpler playing a kill-team game with those kinds of victim numbers?! i'm not shy of going up against hordes (hell, i've a tattoo planned of my old guard regiment against their favorite punching bags the tyranids), but even for hardened space marines, that seems like a bit much. must've been very memorable, if gruelling, battles.

[LordCdrMilitant]

*googly eyes intensify*

wouldn't it just be simpler playing a kill-team game with those kinds of victim numbers?! i'm not shy of going up against hordes (hell, i've a tattoo planned of my old guard regiment against their favorite punching bags the tyranids), but even for hardened space marines, that seems like a bit much. must've been very memorable, if gruelling, battles.

Those are considerably larger than a Kill Team game. They're full-sized 40k armies, the Chaos encounter is a fair sized apocalypse force [if not a very good one]. The Genestealers, Orks, and Chaos were all fought by DH parties.

Some encounters have been particularly memorable. The fight with the Genestealers has apparently left my party absolutely terrified. They were relatively sparse and easy to deal with on the way in, but then they started coming out of the ruins from all directions, jumping down from above, crawling up out of storm drains, etc. Everywhere the party went, every time they thought they had escaped, there were more of them springing from the shadows. The party was riding in a Leman Russ tank, and they had to fight the 'stealers off the hull of their tank. The day was eventually saved by the NPC guardsman loader, who, with the party wounded and dying around him, took a stun grenade off a party member's vest and tossed it out of the tank, stunning the 'stealers on top of the tank and allowing them to be knocked off and the tank to escape.


On thing is that while the encounter is large, a lot of the foes are basically filler. Cultists and similar basic infantry level enemies die by the bushel. They're really only good for outputting suppressive fire onto the party, because they're not going to make it close and their autoguns/autopistols/knives are basically harmless. A combination of low willpower and agility means they'll get pinned and incinerated. Flamers are particularly good. Foes ablaze are foes not fighting you and soon-to-be-dead foes, a combination of low agility and low willpower means that cultists, and even heretic astartes, have a tendency to burn to death once set alight. It's very hard to stop being on fire, and when you're on fire you can't do anything but try to stop being on fire, for the most part.

Tanks and monsters are a real challenge, though, as the party generally has to get close enough to use a Meltagun on it, and Lascannons and Battle Cannons can put big holes in cover that would otherwise have been safe.


I balance encounters by points-value, taking things directly from the codex. An "easy" encounter is about 100-150 points, 200-500 points is an encounter of moderate difficulty, and over 750 points it's starting to get pretty challenging. 1500 and up the party needs auxiliary support from friendly artillery, airpower, or tank assets.

I'm very liberal with what the party can requisition. My rule of thumb is that if it can be given to Imperial Guard Infantry squads, the Imperial Guard has enough of them that you can just ask nicely [or demand] on a IG planet to get one. You are the Inquisition, after all.

[Reltzik]

Spoiler: All Rise! Court is now in Bedlam

Show

"Objection, Your Honor! Opposing counsel is engaged in suppositoring with the witness!"

"... do you mean supposition?"

"That too. And I also object to him doing the badgers to the witness!"

* The Crown's prosecution of me does not end in a mistrial just because the DM can't stop laughing long enough to run the session.

[Rater202]

*If Usurping the benevolent king and torturing him to death in a horrific manner with the intent of selling his soul to devils is the least evil way to defeat the big Bad, we've screwed up somewhere along the line.

[Socratov]

*If Usurping the benevolent king and torturing him to death in a horrific manner with the intent of selling his soul to devils is the least evil way to defeat the big Bad, we've screwed up somewhere along the line.

Could you explain to me how your DM had orchestrated such a situation? Just for research purposes...

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not make called shots to body hair with fire attacks.

* Weapon bond is not an excuse to just leave my sword in the body of the last creature I killed.
** It is certainly not a reason to give my sword to people as gifts.
*** Of the plan ever involves the BBEG wielding my sword just so I can disarm him for temporary bonuses it is to be reconsidered immediately.

[Guizonde]

the first is not from me, but it's worth it.

*if we ever just say "put it on the captain's bill" without warning the captain ahead of time, there will be physical repercussions.
**this goes double if it's the captain's accountant!

*no more buying oversized plates of metal, a large grinding wheel, and an arc welder "for a rainy day".
** "the machine spirit has bayonet-envy" cannot be justified by anyone outside the mechanicus.
*** "the machine spirit has bayonet-envy" cannot be justified by anyone inside the mechanicus, either.

*no more conning the captain into attacking ships based on a personal vendetta involving orks. he knows i hate them and is just worried about breaking even.
**gratuitous slaughter is not a recognized form of payment in rogue trader circles.
***even if it's fun.
****even if it's to test the mettle of our new shipboard elite troopers.

*my arch-militant doesn't have only two settings: "surly" and "overkill". despite proof to the contrary.
**neither does our ship's machine spirit, despite proof to the contrary.
*no matter how much my team may benefit from it, i may not "accidentally" disable all of my team's safeties on their weaponry.
**may not ask the tech-priest to do it for me and fudge the paperwork, either.

*no more flipping the bird to anyone with a higher rank than me, even if it's deserved.
**the above doesn't count if the captain explicitely allows me to do so.

[Anonymouswizard]

* If my name takes over five minutes to say, it is banned.
** Gno Gnomes!

* Despite RAW being silent on the matter, wands cannot be ten feet long.
** Or collapsible.
*** Explosive is right out.

* My inventions cannot work.

[Rater202]

Could you explain to me how your DM had orchestrated such a situation? Just for research purposes...

...Let's just say that mistakes were made.

[Personification]

* Despite RAW being silent on the matter, wands cannot be ten feet long.
** Or collapsible.
*** Explosive is right out.

**** If my wand can do more damage inside of an anti-magic field than the barbarian's greataxe, it will have a passive ability that attracts large carnivorous birds into the air above me, then knocks them unconscious directly on top of the party (rocs fall, everyone dies).

[Socratov]

...Let's just say that mistakes were made.

Oh, but i'm sure you can do better then that... Please, elaborate...

[DigoDragon]

* The GM is no longer allowed to throw a hissy-fit when the elf uses the trees to his advantage and turn a gnoll surprise attack at camp into a gnoll slaughter.

[Katrina]

* When the gm has expressed hatred of my Witch's summon strats, it is bad form for another player to bring in a Master Summoner.
** Fireball is not a negotiation tactic. If I state so, I will likely have my role as party face revoked, despite my high charisma.
*** "They insulted my hair" is not justification.

[DigoDragon]

* I am no longer allowed to bake a cake so rich that it emulates the effects of Ex Lax.

[Rater202]

* I am no longer allowed to bake a cake so rich that it emulates the effects of Ex Lax.

**I may not askfor details.

*I can't do doge memes when meeting a Superhero.
**Not even if the hero in question did it in canon.

[DeTess]

*If the plan for assassinating a Dragon sounds like a summer action blockbuster, it's probably too over the top.
**If the reward for filming the assassination is far greater than the reward for the actual assassination, it's definitely too over the top.