Movies you regret watching

[Bohandas]

Ultimately, I think you either enjoy Bond films or you don't. Which is one of the reasons Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace bother me: they're Bond films apparently designed for people who don't like Bond films - and most of the people who cite them as their favourites are people who don't like the series as a whole. Bond films are meant to be formulaic and slightly cheesy and not to be taken entirely seriously (though that's a fine line to tread: you don't want to go full Moonraker).

The original Casino Royale or the remake?

I think the original 1967 Casino Royale is the only film with Woody Allen in it that's actually worth watching all the way through (due in large part to the fact that he's not in it for very long. Allen never has more that one maybe two actually worthwhile scenes in any movie, which obviously causes problems in films where he plays a major character)

EDIT:

My freshman year at college, I went with a group of friends to see The Campaign, the Will Ferrell/Zach Galiafanakis movie. I was used to paying $3-6 for a movie back home; this was the first time I had to pay $15 to see a 2D movie. I sat through the whole thing growing increasingly irritated at both the fact that I'd paid so much for it and that I'd now have to sit through it all because I rode to the theater with the others. I've seen worse movies, definitely, but I've never seen one that treated its audience with such contempt and considered them to be such imbeciles.

Why would anybody pay to see a Will Ferrell film?

Rogue One

Oh I forgot about that one. That one would've been ok if it had not been branded as a Star Wars film. It did not feel at all like a Star Wars film, not even a bad Star Wars film, not even like "hey it's Life Day, I got you midichlorians", because that would at least be a Star Wars film

EDIT:

There are lots of movies that I've felt were a waste of my time. Some, e.g. anything with the name Dan Brown attached to it, that I can't believe I sat through. But I don't regret watching them, because they broadened my experience.

Dan Brown's stuff isn't inherently bad, it's just tainted by the fact that people treat it as if it was seriois and realistic, rather than a mashup of Indiana Jones, Dogma, Hudson Hawk, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail (seriously, at the end of The DaVinci Code they find the 'grail' in the posession of french people we met at the beginning of the film and it almost ends with everyone being arrested) that's been inexplicably played totally straight. It'll be back to being ok once Dan Brown has been forgotten

[Knaight]

The original Casino Royale or the remake?

I have no idea, as somebody else's quote got attributed to me there.

[Bohandas]

I did not need to watch the entirety of Anchorman. It would be better to simply bring up a clip of the fight scene (and the following "that escalated quickly" scene) on Youtube; it's the only worthwhile scene in the entire movie

[Gnoman]

The original Casino Royale or the remake?
Dan Brown's stuff isn't inherently bad, it's just tainted by the fact that people treat it as if it was seriois and realistic, rather than a mashup of Indiana Jones, Dogma, Hudson Hawk, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail (seriously, at the end of The DaVinci Code they find the 'grail' in the posession of french people we met at the beginning of the film and it almost ends with everyone being arrested) that's been inexplicably played totally straight. It'll be back to being ok once Dan Brown has been forgotten

That tends to happen when the author states in the introduction to the books (and in every interview and statement) that everything outside of the central plot is 100% True Verified Fact, combined with it being deliberately and extremely iconoclastic. Indiana Jones, Monty Python, and Clive Cussler novels might have similar levels of nonsense, but they don't try to pretend that it isn't nonsense to begin with.

[Shoombo]

1996 Tom Arnold vehicle The Stupids and also Marvel's The Avengers

[8BitNinja]

The Shallows.

It's like Jaws, but not interesting.

[Peelee]

Why would anybody pay to see a Will Ferrell film?

Will Ferrell is amazing in certain roles, like in Stranger than Fiction or The Producers. I can't stand his Idiot Character that's basically the same person in different movies, but he can absolutely knock it out of the park if given a well-written role with smart humor.

[Drewzer987]

Sharknado. An hour and a half of my life that I won't get back again. I spent most of that time either being confused as to why the movie was made, or cringing about how awful the plot was.
I know that the movie was supposed to be a joke, but it was just painful to watch.

[Bohandas]

That tends to happen when the author states in the introduction to the books (and in every interview and statement) that everything outside of the central plot is 100% True Verified Fact, combined with it being deliberately and extremely iconoclastic. Indiana Jones, Monty Python, and Clive Cussler novels might have similar levels of nonsense, but they don't try to pretend that it isn't nonsense to begin with.

Dragnet and Blair Witch Project didn't cause this level of idiocy in their audiences

EDIT:
Would anybody else really love to see a science-fantasy space opera that starts with that Dragnet intro? "The story you are about to see is true..."

[Bohandas]

2. Manos is an example of why some people should not do what they want to do...there's a reason MST3K is why that movie is so well known - it's that much utter garbage.

I think you missed my point, which was that Manos, as bad as it is, is still more worthwhile to watch than Pan's Labyrinth or 2001: A Space Odyssey.

(Speaking of Manos, has anybody noticed that both Half-Life videogames stole Manos' intro sequence almost exactly; a bunch of boring scenery for ten minutes during which absolutely nothing happens. Why didn't they get panned? As bad as it was in Manos it's even worse in a game because a game's supposed to be interactive)

EDIT:
Come to think of it, 2001 did that too but they did it twice as long and they did it instead of resolving the plot

EDIT:
"my god! It's full of kaleidoscopes!"

[ImperiousLeader]

Star Trek: Nemesis. An awful film that I pirated, and still feel I'm owed compensation for those lost hours of my life and the destruction of characters I like.

The last Twilight movie. Haven't seen any of the others, but was dragged to this one. Just when I thought it was getting good

Spoiler: Just in case

Show

by killing off the whole cast, they pull the rug out. It's all a dream.

Independence Day Resurgence. What a pointless film.

All the Transformers, though I haven't seen any of the Wahlberg ones. I didn't hate the first movie at first, but now, yeah, I hate them all. Especially the first, since liking it clearly led to all the following abominations.

Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, and Suicide Squad. Seriously DC? Thank goodness Wonder Woman was good.

[Jan Mattys]

Johnny Got His Gun

Harrowing.

I saw it on television as a kid, and bits of it again this decade.

Just as Reservoir Dogs is a "heist" movie that doesn't show the heist, only the buildup and aftermath, Johnny Got His Gun, is a "war" movie that doesn't show any battles.

Made in 1971, based on a 1939 novel, it definitely seems dated and of its time.

Most of it are the dreams, fantasies, and memories of a "Great War" American soldier.

It's a movie that I hope other people see, but that I don't recommend seeing, as it's powerful stuff and not pleasant.

If you shed no tears viewing it, well... your definitely different than me.

Also, one of the greatest songs by Metallica, "One", is a direct reference to Johnny Got His Gun.

[Jan Mattys]

I remember being so mad when ET won the Oscar for "Best Visual Effects", instead of Bladerunner.

As far as a man/machine interface in a "near future dystopia"?

1987's RoboCop


Now for a "cyberpunk-ish" movie I regret watching?
1990's Hardware (even though it did have Lemmy from Mőtorhead).

Try "Nirvana", an italian movie by Gabriele Salvatores.
I suppose it can be found in english. It is surprisingly cyberpunk and it is surprisingly good.
Just ignore the "The Matrix meets Tron meets Blade Runner" claim on the dvd cover because it is a plain lie :D

[8BitNinja]

The Fifth Element.

I don't know why, but I just didn't like The Fifth Element. Something about it from the very beginning to almost every point in the movie just seemed to me like it was not how a movie should be.

[DuctTapeKatar]

Do you have that moment that a movie rots inside your head? Like, you got yourself a good movie, but as time goes on, it just gets all shriveled, moldy, and gross? That happened to me.

Mad Max: Fury Road

or should I say "Furiosa: Mediocre Movie". I don't even care that I'm stepping on toes at this point. I've been bottling this up for a long time, and it needs to be said. It is a bad movie, and does not deserve to be the revival of the series.

Firstly, the plot is boring. That's right. It's boring. You have a very undeveloped, bland cult (ooh, their language is an extension of our own, how thrilling). Their leader has a bunch of girls in his basement that are being smuggled out by Furiosa (the female self-insert character), they get caught, then car chase. There is no twists, the fights are predictable, and if you really want to look it that way, it can be considered sexist.

Compare to Thunderdome, where there is something to bite into: Barter Town; interesting, developed, and provides a unique twist to the series (politics, *cough* *cough*). The world is not confined to just one location (town, desert, wild-boy enclave VS. Desert road, desert road, swamp road, desert road). The characters have motivation beyond just "they are bad-guys/cultists who don't know any better".

God damn, I look at this movie and wretch at all the wasted potential. Furiosa, even as a mere concept, deserved a better movie. I mean, you basically have a copy of Max, and you don't use it to make him question his actions? "Character development? What's that? Sounds like that'd kill off a series, and we don't want that!" This movie could have been great and generation defining, but they decided that mediocre and forgettable.

[Gnoman]

The Fifth Element.

I don't know why, but I just didn't like The Fifth Element. Something about it from the very beginning to almost every point in the movie just seemed to me like it was not how a movie should be.

I've seen it about four times. I remember nothing.

[Bohandas]

Half-Life 2. I know it's technically a game not a movie but it's mostly cutscenes, and the part's that aren't cutscenes are linear enough that they might as well be, so I think it still counts. And all the cutscenes suck.

[ThatNickGuy]

When I was in university around the late 90s, there were two movies playing in theaters that I wanted to see. So one Friday night, with nothing else to do, I decided to see them both. The 7:00 PM showing and the 9:00 PM showing.

So, back to back, I watched...

Alien Resurrection, immediately followed by...

Mortal Kombat Annihilation.

Worst movie night of my life. I actually walked out of Resurrection thinking, "Good lord, that was terrible. Well, at least it can't get any worse that that.

I was wrong. I was so wrong.

[Lurkmoar]

When I was in university around the late 90s, there were two movies playing in theaters that I wanted to see. So one Friday night, with nothing else to do, I decided to see them both. The 7:00 PM showing and the 9:00 PM showing.

So, back to back, I watched...

Alien Resurrection, immediately followed by...

Mortal Kombat Annihilation.

Worst movie night of my life. I actually walked out of Resurrection thinking, "Good lord, that was terrible. Well, at least it can't get any worse that that.

I was wrong. I was so wrong.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation felt like a kick in the nuts. Especially since the first one was pretty fun. Shoot, Annihilation makes the live action Street Fighter seem like high art.

[Southern Cross]

O.K. here is my list of movies I regret watching:
Zardoz: Jim Boorman should not do religious movies. Probably the worst movie Sean Connery has ever done.
Witchfinder General: Considered a classic this cynical movie features Vincent Price in his most evil role as the real-life Matthew Hopkins. Too brutal and cynical for me.
Superman Returns: massive disappointment from Bryan Singer. Even more depressing than Man of Steel.
The She-Beast: Matthew Reeves first (and worst) movie. More an anti-communist movie than anything else. Larry Buchanan's Naked Witch was a better movie than this, that's how bad it is.
Reptilicus: Denmark's first (and only) kaiju movie. Sid Pink's worst movie by far.
LXG: I have to state here- I hated the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic to begin with.This movie was so bad that it drove Sean Connery out of acting.
Event Horizon: Starts out well, then turns into a stupid gorefest. The last movie my dad and I went to see.
Avatar: The 3D version i went to see had the 3D image not properly synchronized, and mum got sick during it. Is also an unacknowledged ripoff of both Andre Norton's Janus novels and Poul Anderson's short story "Call Me Joe".

[2D8HP]

O.K. here is my list of movies I regret watching:
Zardoz: Jim Boorman should not do religious movies. Probably the worst movie Sean Connery has ever done..

I actually saw this in the theatre with my parents when I was a kid.

Child abuse?

[Peelee]

Mortal Kombat Annihilation felt like a kick in the nuts. Especially since the first one was pretty fun. Shoot, Annihilation makes the live action Street Fighter seem like high art.

Fun fact: Jackie Chan made a movie called City Hunter, based off the anime City Hunter, as a live action anime (with all the silliness that implies). Near the end, there is a fight scene in an arcade room, where he gets thrown through a Street Fighter II arcade cabinet, and the rest of the fight takes places with Jackie Chan, his enemy, and a couple of innocent stooges portraying varying Street Fighter characters.

It's actually one of my favorite movies he's done, because while the fighting isn't as intricate as his normal work, it has some of the best comedic fight choreography he's ever done. The final fight is especially good in this respect.

[Rogar Demonblud]

Everyone abuse.

[ThatNickGuy]

Mortal Kombat Annihilation felt like a kick in the nuts. Especially since the first one was pretty fun.

The first one was a lot of fun. I watched it a lot in high school. But it also hasn't aged particularly well.

[JBPuffin]

I think you missed my point, which was that Manos, as bad as it is, is still more worthwhile to watch than Pan's Labyrinth or 2001: A Space Odyssey.

There's a part of me that knows I didn't actually read that post and just wanted to point out movies I'd put on this list...sorry. I've only seen the MST3K run of Manos, which is totally worth more of my time than any of the movies themselves. I don't remember Pan's Labyrinth very well, and 2001 is honestly on my list of "movies to watch if I ever take hallucinogens," because having two sets of ocular seizures happening at once is exactly what I'd want from that experience.

(Speaking of Manos, has anybody noticed that both Half-Life videogames stole Manos' intro sequence almost exactly; a bunch of boring scenery for ten minutes during which absolutely nothing happens. Why didn't they get panned? As bad as it was in Manos it's even worse in a game because a game's supposed to be interactive)

That's a good point - more than a few games do this, and we're willing to let them slide, but visual experiences get docked for it...maybe if Manos had more redeeming features elsewhere in it?

Reptilicus: Denmark's first (and only) kaiju movie. Sid Pink's worst movie by far.

Reptilicus! Another MST3K-watched movie whose episode I loved. Also, stay away from Japan's movie genre, Danes. Or just do better next time...

[Lethologica]

I think you missed my point, which was that Manos, as bad as it is, is still more worthwhile to watch than Pan's Labyrinth or 2001: A Space Odyssey.

I'm trying to avoid inflicting my limited tastes on people so I'll just note that this is a highly debatable statement on both counts. You found the latter two less worthwhile; that is sufficient.

[Rodin]

That's a good point - more than a few games do this, and we're willing to let them slide, but visual experiences get docked for it...maybe if Manos had more redeeming features elsewhere in it?

For the specific case of Half-Life 1, a big part of it is that no FPS game had attempted something similar. FPS games in general tended not to have a story at all when Half-Life was released, and the lengthy intro sequence was a clever way of telling the player that this would be a very different experience. And unlike Manos, the scenery serves a purpose - it gives scope to Black Mesa and tells you what sort of facility you're in. Manos had pointless scenery to pad time which didn't set up the plot of the movie at all - the entire movie takes place in the environs of the house, mostly at night, so the scenery doesn't come into play. The intro to Half-Life meanwhile is showing machines and rail tracks which come into play later on, as well as incidental stuff like showing the desert surface that you later go up to.

For Half-Life 2, I don't remember the tram sequence being that long, but I admit I haven't played the sequel as much so my memory is fuzzier. Most of the gun-free portion at the start of the game is once again forcing the player to walk around and experience the dystopia. Much of the backdrop to the game is established during this time.

[Velaryon]

3) Some are going to disagree, but Moulin Rogue. I cannot stand Obi-wan's voice in that. The editing was utterly distracting, the songs weren't terribly well done and the plot was stupid. I'm not terribly fond of rom-coms to begin with, but over the top visuals are typically my thing but it just didn't work.

I never watched the film because I can't stand the song that was so strongly associated with it. However, I wanted to point out that you did the reverse of the common typo. I'd imagine that Moulin Rogue could be a much more interesting film, regardless whether it features the X-Man or a backstabbing thief character.

Why would anybody pay to see a Will Ferrell film?

Or, for that matter, a Zach Galiafanakis film? His "comedy" is just awful to me. The only time I've ever been able to stand him was in the thoroughly mediocre show Tru Calling, which Zach has absolutely trashed and said he hated every minute of.

Do you have that moment that a movie rots inside your head? Like, you got yourself a good movie, but as time goes on, it just gets all shriveled, moldy, and gross? That happened to me.

Mad Max: Fury Road

or should I say "Furiosa: Mediocre Movie". I don't even care that I'm stepping on toes at this point. I've been bottling this up for a long time, and it needs to be said. It is a bad movie, and does not deserve to be the revival of the series.

Firstly, the plot is boring. That's right. It's boring. You have a very undeveloped, bland cult (ooh, their language is an extension of our own, how thrilling). Their leader has a bunch of girls in his basement that are being smuggled out by Furiosa (the female self-insert character), they get caught, then car chase. There is no twists, the fights are predictable, and if you really want to look it that way, it can be considered sexist.

Compare to Thunderdome, where there is something to bite into: Barter Town; interesting, developed, and provides a unique twist to the series (politics, *cough* *cough*). The world is not confined to just one location (town, desert, wild-boy enclave VS. Desert road, desert road, swamp road, desert road). The characters have motivation beyond just "they are bad-guys/cultists who don't know any better".

God damn, I look at this movie and wretch at all the wasted potential. Furiosa, even as a mere concept, deserved a better movie. I mean, you basically have a copy of Max, and you don't use it to make him question his actions? "Character development? What's that? Sounds like that'd kill off a series, and we don't want that!" This movie could have been great and generation defining, but they decided that mediocre and forgettable.

*High fives DuctTapeKater*

I don't hate Fury Road, but it's probably the most overrated movie of the decade to me. It would have been a better film if they just left Max out of it entirely and called the movie Furiosa, but even then it was basically just a two hour car chase with no twists, depth, or even remotely interesting characters outside Furiosa herself.

I will say though, that Beyond Thunderdome was a wonderful and enjoyable half of a movie. It was great right up until Max survives Thunderdome and leaves BarterTown, and then it just comes to a screeching halt and loses me completely.

[Gnoman]

For the specific case of Half-Life 1, a big part of it is that no FPS game had attempted something similar. FPS games in general tended not to have a story at all when Half-Life was released, and the lengthy intro sequence was a clever way of telling the player that this would be a very different experience. And unlike Manos, the scenery serves a purpose - it gives scope to Black Mesa and tells you what sort of facility you're in. Manos had pointless scenery to pad time which didn't set up the plot of the movie at all - the entire movie takes place in the environs of the house, mostly at night, so the scenery doesn't come into play. The intro to Half-Life meanwhile is showing machines and rail tracks which come into play later on, as well as incidental stuff like showing the desert surface that you later go up to.

For Half-Life 2, I don't remember the tram sequence being that long, but I admit I haven't played the sequel as much so my memory is fuzzier. Most of the gun-free portion at the start of the game is once again forcing the player to walk around and experience the dystopia. Much of the backdrop to the game is established during this time.

That plays into another reason why those work. They work BECAUSE it is an interactive experience, and the dull routine helps you get into the mindset of a normal day gone insane (HL1) or waking up in a twisted, hellish version of the world you know (HL2).

[Bohandas]

That plays into another reason why those work. They work BECAUSE it is an interactive experience, and the dull routine helps you get into the mindset of a normal day gone insane (HL1) or waking up in a twisted, hellish version of the world you know (HL2).

I dunno, I think that train ride was nearly the most twisted and hellish thing about the game. Beaten out only by the unimaginative level design and the longwinded exposition.