Do waiters judge what kinds of food you order?

[AMFV]

It may be the law, but it doesn't mean it's followed. My wife was a waitress for quite a few years, and there were plenty of weeks, and even months where her take home was significantly below minimum wage, and she never got a bump up from the restaurant to put her at the actual minimum wage. And before you say "You should have done something", we tried. We contacted the BBB about them, and the MD senator, and even our local county rep, and none of them did a damn thing about it. The best we got was a "We'll look into it", and that was it.

That's because you were contacting completely the wrong folks. A senator or legislator isn't responsible for enforcement. The BBB cares about how they treat their customers not how they treat their employees. Your county Rep also is responsible for writing laws, no enforcing them. If this ever comes up again the correct body to report minimum wage violations to is the Department of Labor. They have an entire division dedicated to examining minimum wage claims.

For what it's worth I think not making up the amount not tipped is probably the most common wage violation, or I would imagine so. It'd be very easy to forget, difficult to enforce unless the server in-question kept immaculate paperwork. Of course all it would take is a few people with that paperwork to fix a particular institution.

[Peelee]

It may be the law, but it doesn't mean it's followed. My wife was a waitress for quite a few years, and there were plenty of weeks, and even months where her take home was significantly below minimum wage, and she never got a bump up from the restaurant to put her at the actual minimum wage. And before you say "You should have done something", we tried. We contacted the BBB about them, and the MD senator, and even our local county rep, and none of them did a damn thing about it. The best we got was a "We'll look into it", and that was it.

The BBB is an older version of Yelp, and your senator and county rep may care, but may not. The Department of Labor is much, much better at dealing with things like this, since they're the ones that actually enforce labor laws.

[Seerow]

No they won't. Not if you're a regular customer and they know you by face. They'll go "is that the X"? to make sure they got it right or if you really go there every day and it's always the same waiter they'll just say ok. Hell, I've had a few places that I went to at the same time, every day, the same waiter who had the meal WAITING for me.

IMO this is the best. I haven't had that experience in years, but there was a time when my friend and I would go to Sonny's 2-3 times a week after work. It got to the point where we'd walk in, our order would already be put in and Sweet Teas sitting at the table.

[Knaight]

Well, last I heard, servers got $2.13/hr, but if a server doesn't get the federal minimum wage even after tips, then the restaurant must make up the rest. So they always make the minimum wage, at least (my feelings on the minimum wage is a story for another day, likely another forum altogether). Still, not tipping makes you look like an ass. I've tipped only a few cents before, when I got the worst service I've ever had in my life; I feel like that said, "I do tip, just not you."

Technically the restaurant is legally obligated to make up the rest. In practice, in right to work states (where you can be fired without reason, the name is somewhat inaccurate) actually asking the restaurant to make up the rest gets you fired and replaced with someone who doesn't do that. I make a point of eating out rarely and tipping high when I do, but as far as I'm concerned customers tipping is a patch applied to a fundamentally broken system.

[AMFV]

Technically the restaurant is legally obligated to make up the rest. In practice, in right to work states (where you can be fired without reason, the name is somewhat inaccurate) actually asking the restaurant to make up the rest gets you fired and replaced with someone who doesn't do that. I make a point of eating out rarely and tipping high when I do, but as far as I'm concerned customers tipping is a patch applied to a fundamentally broken system.

You're actually confusing "Right to Work" with "At-Will Employment". At-Will Employment means that the relationship between employer and employee can be terminated for any reason without recourse against either party (barring termination for violation of civil liberties). "Right-to-work" is a set of laws that allow somebody to be in a union shop and benefit from union work negotiations without paying union dues. Basically it winds up eventually bankrupting the union because they can't afford to continue to negotiate when they're getting dues from fewer and fewer employees (and their negotiating power is substantially less, since they represent a smaller fraction of the employees at a given shop).

Edit: It's also worth noting that you'd get far more mileage complaining to the Department of Labor since they would fine and force the restaurant to make up the difference, and you'd b protected as a whistleblower (not that they probably wouldn't fire you for other reasons after that).

[Xyril]

That's because you were contacting completely the wrong folks. A senator or legislator isn't responsible for enforcement. The BBB cares about how they treat their customers not how they treat their employees. Your county Rep also is responsible for writing laws, no enforcing them. If this ever comes up again the correct body to report minimum wage violations to is the Department of Labor. They have an entire division dedicated to examining minimum wage claims.

For what it's worth I think not making up the amount not tipped is probably the most common wage violation, or I would imagine so. It'd be very easy to forget, difficult to enforce unless the server in-question kept immaculate paperwork. Of course all it would take is a few people with that paperwork to fix a particular institution.

Another possibility is calling an employment attorney. In many (maybe most) jurisdictions, employment law includes a private right of action (meaning you can sue in civil court without having to rely on a government prosecutor to pursue the case) and a fee-shifting provision (meaning that if you win, your attorney can collect reasonable fees on top of the actual amount in controversy.)

[AMFV]

Another possibility is calling an employment attorney. In many (maybe most) jurisdictions, employment law includes a private right of action (meaning you can sue in civil court without having to rely on a government prosecutor to pursue the case) and a fee-shifting provision (meaning that if you win, your attorney can collect reasonable fees on top of the actual amount in controversy.)

That is an option, but you aren't likely to get much more than wages owed, unless they're going for something punitive and you are NOT protected as a whistleblower in that case, meaning that in at-will states you will almost certainly be terminated.

[Peelee]

Another possibility is calling an employment attorney. In many (maybe most) jurisdictions, employment law includes a private right of action (meaning you can sue in civil court without having to rely on a government prosecutor to pursue the case) and a fee-shifting provision (meaning that if you win, your attorney can collect reasonable fees on top of the actual amount in controversy.)

At-will employment stares are fun. You can only sue if you can prove they fired you for a protected reason, so employers just don't tell you why they fired you, and they're just peachy.

[The Eye]

So I went there yesterday, got served by the same waiter, he laughed after I did my order, I asked what was so funny and he said that no one normally asks for sfihas together with normal food and that they are more like snacks(The place is like a “Arabic restaurant” but not really), then he add that I could get a better deal, with more food for less money by ordering a combo, at that moment I could not help but think about Bartmanhomer and one of his infamous threads.

The combo was rice, a well done steak, salad, some sort of stuffed zucchini and fries, desert include. I normally ask for all that but no zucchini, less rice, more fries, 5 cheese sfihas and a pie that is not in the combo, so the reason I don't order the combo is that I won't be able to eat all the rice and the pie I want is not include, still he insisted for me to get the combo since it was more food for less money, he was trying to be nice so I laughed and I end up getting it and regretting it, since as I said, it was too much rice not enough fries and a desert I didn't want to eat (I'm also not a fan of zucchini).

After that he seemed to be pretty happy, he said it was weird since everyone normally asked for a combo, I asked him if that was what he and his friends were laughing about the other day, he said it was and apologized if it was rude, I laughed off said it was ok.

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I'll try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

[Knaight]

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

The nerve of these people, forming opinions about you and having some interest in you after you showed up to their workplace repeatedly. Don't they know that you're above the contemplation of a mere waiter, and entitled to service without the peons that serve you doing horrible things like having opinions or talking to each other.

Obviously you can get food where you want, but these complaints come across as really petty.

[The Eye]

The nerve of these people, forming opinions about you and having some interest in you after you showed up to their workplace repeatedly. Don't they know that you're above the contemplation of a mere waiter, and entitled to service without the peons that serve you doing horrible things like having opinions or talking to each other.

Obviously you can get food where you want, but these complaints come across as really petty.

Do they? I'm sorry I just don't like interacting with people, I mean I know he was trying to be nice, and I bet he is, but this kind of service is not for me, it's really hard for me to go to a place and talk to people, now I will have to go to a place talk someone to get my food and then extra talk because I will have to explain the whole thing to him and that's something I just don't want to do since I eat out to relax and not get stressed. The conversation would be like.

Him: “Hey good to see you again, will you ask the combo this time again?”
Me: “Actually, I will just stick to my usual order.”
Him: “Why? Didn’t you like the combo?”
Me:” No it was fine, it’s just that I prefer my order”
Him: “Oh ok, well it will be less food for more money…”
Me: “I know but I don’t mind.”
Him: ”Oh ok, will you want a soda this time?”
Me: “No thanks.”
Him: “ Juice maybe? I can give this special discount if you ask for a natural juice.”
Me: “I know that you told me the other day but I don’t like to drink while I’m eating.”
Him: “Ok then, I will get you food.” Looks confused.

I just want to get my food with the minimum of interaction possible D: Is that too much to ask? I had to deal with a similar situation when I used to order food from the same place to be delivered at my house. These nice employs are wasted on me. I don't care if the food I order is the same every time and maybe I should try to add some variety in my life, thanks but it's MY life, I don't care if the food I ordered is not supposed to be eaten that way, that’s MY way to eat it, just leave me alone D:

[Peelee]

Do they? I'm sorry I just don't like interacting with people, I mean I know he was trying to be nice, and I bet he is, but this kind of service is not for me, it's really hard for me to go to a place and talk to people, now I will have to go to a place talk someone to get my food and then extra talk because I will have to explain the whole thing to him and that's something I just don't want to do since I eat out to relax and not get stressed. The conversation would be like.

Him: “Hey good to see you again, will you ask the combo this time again?”
Me: “Actually, I will just stick to my usual order.”
Him: “Why? Didn’t you like the combo?”
Me:” No it was fine, it’s just that I prefer my order”
Him: “Oh ok, well it will be less food for more money…”
Me: “I know but I don’t mind.”
Him: ”Oh ok, will you want a soda this time?”
Me: “No thanks.”
Him: “ Juice maybe? I can give this special discount if you ask for a natural juice.”
Me: “I know that you told me the other day but I don’t like to drink while I’m eating.”
Him: “Ok then, I will get you food.” Looks confused.

I just want to get my food with the minimum of interaction possible D: Is that too much to ask? I had to deal with a similar situation when I used to order food from the same place to be delivered at my house. These nice employs are wasted on me. I don't care if the food I order is the same every time and maybe I should try to add some variety in my life, thanks but it's MY life, I don't care if the food I ordered is not supposed to be eaten that way, that’s MY way to eat it, just leave me alone D:

You could just not interact? I'm pretty sure that conversation wouldn't happen, and it'd be more like:

Him: “Hey, how's it going?”
Me: “I'll have my usual.”
Him: “Alright, that'll be $X.”

If you don't initiate conversation yourself, there's not a lot of counter-workers who will. Imean, I don't care where you eat, but this just seems like a massive case of overthinking it.

Also, what Knaight said.

[The Eye]

You could just not interact? I'm pretty sure that conversation wouldn't happen, and it'd be more like:

Him: “Hey, how's it going?”
Me: “I'll have my usual.”
Him: “Alright, that'll be $X.”

If you don't initiate conversation yourself, there's not a lot of counter-workers who will. Imean, I don't care where you eat, but this just seems like a massive case of overthinking it.

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

[Peelee]

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my house, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

Huh. You should come to America. You'd love it.

[Delicious Taffy]

If you really wanted your usual, rather than the combo the guy was pushing, you should have defended yourself. I guess it's just too bad there weren't any rogue ladies around to do it for you, but that's life.

[Starwulf]

The nerve of these people, forming opinions about you and having some interest in you after you showed up to their workplace repeatedly. Don't they know that you're above the contemplation of a mere waiter, and entitled to service without the peons that serve you doing horrible things like having opinions or talking to each other.

Obviously you can get food where you want, but these complaints come across as really petty.

So first OP gets mocked for believing that the waiters were laughing at/about him, with everyone insisting they weren't. Then he goes back to restaurant, actually asks and finds out they were, and now he's being mocked for not wanting to have interactions with the waiters, especially after, from what it sounds like anyways, he had an undesirable food combination forced upon him, because even if you want to stand up for yourself in that situation, disagreeing is just going to cause issues and/or more ridicule. Man, you really can't win around this place, can you?

Personally, I'm with OP. When I go out to eat, it's to be with my wife and to eat in peace. I don't want any conversation with the waitstaff beyond "What would you like this evening sir" "Will that be all" "Here's your check" "Have a nice day". That's it. Opinions about my food, even if I'm a regular, are unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

[Aliquid]

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

Nah, it doesn't have anything to do with you. This kind of person talks to everyone like that. They just don't stop talking... ever. They say "I love my job because I get to talk to so many interesting people". But from my experience, many of them just like the sound of their own voice, and don't listen to a thing you say. Especially the ones that don't take a hint that you aren't interested in talking. Which makes me wonder how they even tell that they talk to "interesting" people.

Man, you really can't win around this place, can you?

That does appear to be a recurring theme.

Personally, I'm with OP. When I go out to eat, it's to be with my wife and to eat in peace. I don't want any conversation with the waitstaff beyond "What would you like this evening sir" "Will that be all" "Here's your check" "Have a nice day". That's it. Opinions about my food, even if I'm a regular, are unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

They are often told to take an interest and talk to you... so I cut them some slack with that. As long as they take the hint that I'm not interested and drop the subject after the first attempt.

I used to work in retail many years ago. My performance was regularly judged based on how I interacted with customers. One of the things on my list of things I had to do was: "Thank them by name", which you would read off their credit card (if they used one). I personally saw it as rude and presumptuous that I could use the person's name without them introducing themselves to me. I remember saying "what if I can't pronounce their name, that might be annoying to them". The response from management was "just say 'that's an interesting name, how do you pronounce it'"... my response was "if someone said that to me, I would tell them it was none of their ###ing business".

Any customer service type job is often run by extremely extroverted people. Once you get into a big retail/restaurant chain, all of their policies are made by some high-achiever exuberant extrovert working group where they ask "what sort of customer service would we like"... guess what? A good portion of the public do NOT share your social preferences.

[Aedilred]

I have to be honest, nothing in the reported conversation strikes me as being anything more than one would expect from someone trying to do a decent service job. No personal questions, no attempts to make conversation about anything other than the order being placed...

If that comes across as unacceptably chatty, I don't know what to tell you.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Opinions about my food, even if I'm a regular, are unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Unless asked, which I believe the OP didn't do.

I mean I remember going to a French restaurant and I asked for the waiter’s opinion on wine and cheese since I don't know anything about those things.

But I would hate if I asked for a kind of cheese and the waiter went all "Well actually you should not order this kind of cheese with this kind of food, that’s dumb." WTF? Dude. I didn't ask for your opinion.

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

That's actually very possible, I remember when I was a teen my aunt had a small cinema and I used to work there during summer, I used to feel pity for those who had to go to the movies by themselves so I tried to be extra nice to them.

Reconsidering, maybe I was being annoying the whole time and I didn't knew it.

But a lone guy going to the same restaurant and orders the same food everytime? Yeah that just screams sad.

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

That's actually a pretty common problem to shy and awkward people:

Spoiler: Sh1tty Watercolour

Show

[Starwulf]

I have to be honest, nothing in the reported conversation strikes me as being anything more than one would expect from someone trying to do a decent service job. No personal questions, no attempts to make conversation about anything other than the order being placed...

If that comes across as unacceptably chatty, I don't know what to tell you.

The waiter laughed at what the customer ordered, that's unacceptable mistake #1. Then admitted that he was laughing at OP the other day with his friends(well, at what OP was ordering), that's mistake #2. Then basically put OP into a situation where the OP would come off as disagreeable/rude if OP refused to try what the waiter was suggesting, even though the OP wouldn't even be getting the type of food he normally ordered, that's mistake #3(no pie, and no sfihas, plus not enough fries/too much rice). All of that is far out of the bounds of what a waiter should be doing at their job. Hell, I can even name mistake #4: The waiter was literally downselling. Most places look down on that, if the customer wants to spend more money, you let them, you don't go "Oh, you should do this and this instead, it'll save you X money". Especially when it is, again, not what the customer really wants.

Now, as others have said, the situation is different if you are specifically asking for advice, but this clearly wasn't the case.

[Fawkes]

So I went there yesterday, got served by the same waiter, he laughed after I did my order, I asked what was so funny and he said that no one normally asks for sfihas together with normal food and that they are more like snacks(The place is like a “Arabic restaurant” but not really), then he add that I could get a better deal, with more food for less money by ordering a combo, at that moment I could not help but think about Bartmanhomer and one of his infamous threads.

The combo was rice, a well done steak, salad, some sort of stuffed zucchini and fries, desert include. I normally ask for all that but no zucchini, less rice, more fries, 5 cheese sfihas and a pie that is not in the combo, so the reason I don't order the combo is that I won't be able to eat all the rice and the pie I want is not include, still he insisted for me to get the combo since it was more food for less money, he was trying to be nice so I laughed and I end up getting it and regretting it, since as I said, it was too much rice not enough fries and a desert I didn't want to eat (I'm also not a fan of zucchini).

After that he seemed to be pretty happy, he said it was weird since everyone normally asked for a combo, I asked him if that was what he and his friends were laughing about the other day, he said it was and apologized if it was rude, I laughed off said it was ok.

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I'll try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

I have two conflicting reactions to this story.

As someone who worked in a restaurant (but was bad at it), that sounds like a really annoying order. I really hope 'less rice, more fries, no zucchini' is just a comparison of the different portions available in an a la carte order and not three substitutions.

As someone who eats a lot of restaurants, wow, that guy sounds annoying. You know what you want, he should just give it to you! Jeez!

But a lone guy going to the same restaurant and orders the same food everytime? Yeah that just screams sad.

Hey, sometimes you've got a long commute and you just need some food.

[SaintRidley]

they're still guaranteed minimum wage even if nobody tips them.

Minimum wage in America being far lower than it should be, however, is an argument against not tipping despite that.

[Honest Tiefling]

Hey, sometimes you've got a long commute and you just need some food.

This was my reaction. I sometimes eat alone because I want food RIGHT NOW. If you think that anyone eating alone is sad as opposed to just wanting some peace and quiet, maybe you shouldn't work in customer service.

And yeah, try a new place. Laughing at people is something we learned not to do in elementary school FFS.

[Delicious Taffy]

This was my reaction. I sometimes eat alone because I want food RIGHT NOW. If you think that anyone eating alone is sad as opposed to just wanting some peace and quiet, maybe you shouldn't work in customer service.

And yeah, try a new place. Laughing at people is something we learned not to do in elementary school FFS.

Honestly. This is first grade stuff, people. If you laugh at Weird Jeff, the loner with a puppet obsession, he's going to grow up to have several popular comedy tours based around talking to himself.

[AMFV]

Honestly. This is first grade stuff, people. If you laugh at Weird Jeff, the loner with a puppet obsession, he's going to grow up to have several popular comedy tours based around talking to himself.

And then you'll be partially responsible for the crime against humanity that is Jeff Dunham, and that's probably enough to condemn you to eternal suffering (at the very least).

[Chen]

The combo was rice, a well done steak, salad, some sort of stuffed zucchini and fries, desert include. I normally ask for all that but no zucchini, less rice, more fries, 5 cheese sfihas and a pie that is not in the combo, so the reason I don't order the combo is that I won't be able to eat all the rice and the pie I want is not include, still he insisted for me to get the combo since it was more food for less money, he was trying to be nice so I laughed and I end up getting it and regretting it, since as I said, it was too much rice not enough fries and a desert I didn't want to eat (I'm also not a fan of zucchini).

...

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I'll try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

So I mean what do you normally order? A main meal along with a bunch of extra sides (like the rice and fries)? Was it still cheaper after you bought the extra desert? Do you normally order extra fries or are the side fries just larger than the amount they give? And the side rice smaller than what they give with the combo?

[Misery Esquire]

But a lone guy going to the same restaurant and orders the same food everytime? Yeah that just screams sad.

/shrug

I'm so regular at the restaurants around town that they automatically put my order on without a word just when I walk in the door, remove the exact change from the till for the tip I'll add, we share a laugh as I say "Oh, same old", and then I leave. 'tis relaxing.

[Delicious Taffy]

So I mean what do you normally order? A main meal along with a bunch of extra sides (like the rice and fries)? Was it still cheaper after you bought the extra desert? Do you normally order extra fries or are the side fries just larger than the amount they give? And the side rice smaller than what they give with the combo?

Careful, now. We're dangerously close to falling into the "How much was the special?" territory.

The only way to avoid a mess is for OP to list the exact prices of every food item involved, item by item. Well, or we could all have some self-control, but when does that ever happen?

[Peelee]

Careful, now. We're dangerously close to falling into the "How much was the special?" territory.

The only way to avoid a mess is for OP to list the exact prices of every food item involved, item by item. Well, or we could all have some self-control, but when does that ever happen?

I've suddenly got a hankering for pizza.

[2D8HP]

I've suddenly got a hankering for pizza.

The special or the vegetable slices?