Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

(After resurrecting someone)
Steiner: Behold! I have conquered death!
Steiner: ...Don't everyone applaud at once.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses

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Cecil: How much does it cost to invent heroin pasta?

Eww, no. I already don't like pasta. That would just make it ten times worse. O.o

Steiner: ...Don't everyone applaud at once.

Don't I know that feeling when I play clerics. :>

Love: “Aw. Love can go naked mode.”

Sniper: “I feel like I just walked off the cover of a heavy metal album.”

Star: “Whaaaat? You don't trust the changeling infiltrator to keep her cover together after the town drunk stumbled in on her? Have a little faith, you two!”

Rose: “I'm going to go get intimate with a cup of coffee now.”

Rose: “You survived getting shot four times. At this point your name should be swollen.”

Star: “There are plenty of hot ponies in the desert!”

Sniper: “If anyone asks, what are we calling ourselves?”
Rose: “Professionals.” [beat] “...oh, you meant team name?”
Sniper: “Professionals, we ain’t.”
Love: “How about Long's gang?”
Sniper: “Now that just sounds wrong.”

[SpamCreateWater]

DM: You walk into the Yakfolk village, the -
ApparentlyDeaf: Wait, Yakf*ck?! What's a Yakf*ck?
Deadpan: Other Yak.
Worried: ... I hope.


BleedyProfusely: Don't worry, it's only permanent.

[Guizonde]

BleedyProfusely: Don't worry, it's only permanent.

oh good, i was worried there for a minute it would last forever!

edit:

ray: they give me the heeby-jeebies, but they do their damn job like the pros they are!
lux: wish the same could be said of our team *glares at jace and amonakh*

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Don't I know that feeling when I play clerics. :>[/SPOILER]

Saddest part is, I wasn't even playing a cleric. I was a wizard, in a system where resurrection is supposed to be impossible for anyone who isn't a god...

[DigoDragon]

Saddest part is, I wasn't even playing a cleric. I was a wizard, in a system where resurrection is supposed to be impossible for anyone who isn't a god...

Oh wow, that's extra disappointment sprinkles on a disappointing ice cream cone. D:


Rose: “Florida Man, Florida Man,
Something's in the water, air, or sand
That makes him do dumb ass things,
With all the headlines that he brings
Look out! No other state has Florida Man!

Can he shoot laser breath?
No he can't but he'll shoot up meth
Buys an orange to assault with later,
First he'll wrestle that pesky gator
Hey there! Stay clear of Florida Man!

In the heat of the night,
Pumping out his neighbor's gas
He'll get high as a kite,
Then set fire to his grass!

Florida Man, Florida Man,
Buys his meds from an unmarked van
Class and sense, that's ignored—
Making the news is his reward
To him,
Squirrels are spies for Comcast—
His mobility scooter is whirring fast,
Just avoid the Florida Man!”

[CosmicHobbit]

Ghesh: ...boy, I will smite your butt to kingdom come.

Ghesh: ...so you're a halfling who ****ed a drag-
Durg: *puts finger up to Ghesh's lips* We don't talk about that.

Ghesh: I just want Betty back!
Literally Everybody: *Stares at Ghesh*
Ghesh: What? It's not weird to name your magic sword.

Ghesh: Can you holy smite with your fists?

[Guizonde]

Ghesh: ...boy, I will smite your butt to kingdom come.

Ghesh: ...so you're a halfling who ****ed a drag-
Durg: *puts finger up to Ghesh's lips* We don't talk about that.

Ghesh: I just want Betty back!
Literally Everybody: *Stares at Ghesh*
Ghesh: What? It's not weird to name your magic sword.

Ghesh: Can you holy smite with your fists?

uh, did your team steal my paladin or do all paladins think "violence first, questions later"? i swear, my pf team's pally (grim the half-ork) has said a lot of those phrases, with odd variants.

grim: uh, is it kosher to smite people with potatoes?
korinn: when they kidnap me, apparently, yes. yes it is.

korinn: i smell something fishy.
grim: i'm blaming josé out of reflex.
josé: i don't smell that badly!

grim: i'm gonna smite evil with my boot. a lot.
josé: bring steel-toed shoes!!
grim: you're on the list as soon as i can catch you!
josé: *flees by giving gravity the middle finger, once again*

[LordCdrMilitant]

uh, did your team steal my paladin or do all paladins think "violence first, questions later"? i swear, my pf team's pally (grim the half-ork) has said a lot of those phrases, with odd variants.

grim: uh, is it kosher to smite people with potatoes?
korinn: when they kidnap me, apparently, yes. yes it is.

korinn: i smell something fishy.
grim: i'm blaming josé out of reflex.
josé: i don't smell that badly!

grim: i'm gonna smite evil with my boot. a lot.
josé: bring steel-toed shoes!!
grim: you're on the list as soon as i can catch you!
josé: *flees by giving gravity the middle finger, once again*

My paladins think that way too. As do all paladin-esque characters.

[CosmicHobbit]

uh, did your team steal my paladin or do all paladins think "violence first, questions later"? i swear, my pf team's pally (grim the half-ork) has said a lot of those phrases, with odd variants.

To be fair, when he said that first quote and the last quote he had just been told that his close friend was never actually his friend, and instead pretended to be his friend so he could sacrifice a paladin to a god of chaos. I feel like that warrants some of what he said.



Roland: Brink me back a dragon egg! We can make omelettes!

Ghesh: Get up Bumple, I'm not going to let you die!
Bumple: This is Bumple's destiny.
Ghesh: IT SURE AS **** IS NOT

Orryn: *gasps* FIRE! *starts adding to a fire trapping innocents*

[DigoDragon]

Rose: “FYI, Rose is referring to part of her actual squad nickname, Whiskey.”
Love: “Aw. Do you not want to shoot Scope?”
Rose: “Not sure if you're hinting at letting Rose shoot Sniper? She doesn't want to, but she will beat him to the ground and test him if it came to that. Rose had enough changeling backstabbing to last a career. …And yes, I know exactly how I worded that.”

Sniper: “Whiskey, because a Shirley Temple isn't near strong enough for you.”

Crush: “I’m a troubleshooter. Boss points to trouble and I shoot it until it stops being trouble.”

Sniper: “He selected a chair opposite Lullaby. His gear had already been shed and placed behind a counter-- save for his drug needle and armor. ...That didn't sound right in this context.”

Rose: “Nut shots are serious business. Ask any stallion.”
Brazen: *Narrows eyes, sits flank against wall for maximum nut protection*

Rose: “Holy pony tales, those are some meaty thighs! I bet she can crush a pony’s skull like sparrow egg between those.” O.o

Sniper: “What? You don't think Brazen and Seafire would hear an intruder over their snogging?”

Rose: “Feeding the changelings sounds dangerous. Isn't there usually warning signs at the zoo against that?”
Sniper: “Since when does Love stop to read the signs?”
Rose: “Okay, you make a valid point here. But I mean, who better to get a lead on a fugitive than the pony that was shagging her?”
Sniper: “A pony who wasn't shagging her and not recovering from her influence.”
Rose: “You suck the fun out of everything.”

[Guizonde]

rogue trader (dag' and jace were absent for this session):

ross: dude! archaeotech rations! dag' will make us rich with this stuff!
dm: you do know those things are 10,000 years old, right?

ray: my bayonet! i lost it!
dm: good, i was short a few subplots.

necron: i eat the door.

dm: according to your medicae check, they used to eat platypus.
ray: the god-emperor invented those to test us on whether he had a sense of humor or not.

dm: your team is carried by servitors, all knocked out.
lux: and i didn't hear a thing?!

ross: i lick the fountain!
ray: i bet left leg. again.

there's more, but it's nearly dawn here. i'll update by weekend's end.

edit:

ray ooc: i just got electro-fisted into unconsciousness by a dreadnought, i'm unarmed, and covered in 10,000 year old archaeotech sashimi. how's your day going?
necron, staring at the dreadnought: well, at least i'm not covered in sashimi...

dm: the cultist screams "blood for the blood god! skulls for the skull throne!"
ray: yeah, yeah, "milk for the khorne flakes" and all that jazz. *shoots the heretic*

[Coventry]

... pronounce 'C' as a hard 'K', and 'y' as a long 'i' in 'Cygnus', here ...
Milah (OOC): I'm going to name my rapier "Cygnus". That way, I can kill them with Cygnus!

GM (OOC): Bastard sword - the only sword made out of wedlock.

Symeon: They read them for the articles of clothing.

Symeon (OOC): You caint hide ... your dragon eyes. And your scales are a thin disguise ...

Marvin: We're destructive, but we're not THAT destructive.
Symeon: Yes we are!
Frighid: Not on purpose!

[Necroticplague]

Nesdu: I understand you can effectively see the future, and are just trying to protect us from what's about to happen. Next time you try that, though, can you please give us warning? Suddenly screaming "They Betray Us!" and opening fire makes you look like a loon, not a powerful wizard.

[CrazyPenguin]

Man, it's good to get the group back together. This isn't even everything, but this post was getting a bit long.

Eric: "Absent players are in the vore dimension until they return."

DM: "[A cat] is the new [Nosey]."
Eric: "He’ll be about as focused."

Eric: "A massive boy. A hefty boy. A good good high-constitution boy."

Everyone: "Can you choose an accent you can actually do?"
Eric: "No."

DM: "It only responds to sound."
Hella: "We should make its ears bleed!"
DM: "It's an ooze, it doesn't have ea-"
Eric: *pterodactyl screech*

Zephania: "I AM the blob"

Zephania: "I’ll swallow it whole, but I’m starting from the butt"

Eric: "How do I know what orc testicles look like?"

Eric: "Hello there whatsyourface, my name’s Eric Withakay, formerly of Clan Withakay." *extends hand for handshake*
Zephania: "You look yummy."
Eric: *retracts hand, slides chair away*

Eric: *rolls literally every d20 at the table, doesn’t get above a 9*
Eric: "Well I guess I’ll just go **** myself."

Silas: "I WILL NOT HESITATE TO EAT YOU."

Eric: "Close that door. Oh, wait, is that Scooby Doo? Never mind, leave it open."

Zephania: "Do I have nipples?

Eric: "If you were to rate my Intelligence on a scale of, say, 1 to 20, it would be somewhere around an 18. On the other hand, my Wisdom would be somewhere around a 7. So I’m going to set it on fire, but, like, intelligently."

DM: "I have an entire bag of gold up my ass."

Eric: "My alignment is listed as ‘Chaotic Lawful.’"

Silas: "I roll to pet the dog."
Andromeda (dog): *sniffs him, then recoils.*
Eric: "It’s okay, girl. That’s how we feel about Silas, too."

Eric: "I will shove a Molotov cocktail up your *** and light it."

Eric: "Ah, yes, the Malitoff Cocktail, named after the Elven Minister of Foreign affairs, Vya’che’slav Malitoff.

Zephania: "You look like orc baby before testicles drop."

Eric: "Every time I picture Silas, I just picture the edgiest anime OC."
Silas: "I’m not edgy! I’m just a demon!"
Eric: "That’s edgy!"

Eric: "Three slices [of pizza] is not 'fat ****,' it’s cowardice."

Silas: "I put my foot on his face and crush his jaw."
Eric: "I eat his foot."

Hella: "I'm a half-dwarf, half-tiefling."
Eric: "Or a dwiefling, if you will."

[DigoDragon]

Love: “Put Rose on a stick! We've got our detect bugbutt dowsing rod!”
Rose: “Watch where you poke me with that stick, bub.”
Love: “Get the tape!”
Rose: O.o

Sniper: “If anyone's going to walk into that room, it should probably be Sniper. He's got the Changeling-repellent Bat Spray.”
Love: “They have our room number. They can come to us anytime.”
Rose: “Wait, what? You gave them our room number?”
Love: “It's not like they wouldn't have been able to find us. We've always got a person in our room. It'll be fine!”

Rose: “Even my abilities have limits. Dead and Downed are not the same medical condition.”

GM: “Remember, Rose, if you don't like a roll, you can spend chips to improve it.”
Love: “There might be a real danger here. I'm sure we can repool our money to support Rose's horrible gambling problem.”
Sniper: “Right now, all I can hear is Ben Cartwright telling Rose: ‘You keep out of games where you don't know the stakes.’”

Sniper: “I’m perfectly willing to punch out a zebra if Rose wants.”
GM: “If Rose wins, you have eight zebras sworn to obey her.”
Sniper: “I’m still perfectly willing to punch out a zebra if Rose wants.”

Anaki: “You… win.”
Rose: “Here, give this money to charity. They’ll need it more than I.” (slowly gets up to leave)
Wastelander: “Listen, if you don't have a use for all eight, I can offer you a good price for their services.”
Rose: (realizes she just won 8 zebra servants) “No, they are not for sale.”
Rose: (sits back down) “So, what were your names again?”
Anaki: “I am Anaki, mistress.”
Rose: “I don’t want to make it sound like I own them, so I’m being polite and treating them with respect. At least, as much as I would if this were Equesatria and they were equals, but ‘mistress’ sounds pretty amusing and wow did this day suddenly turn into a weird fanfic.”

[NRSASD]

Spoiler: Replies

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[COLOR="#808080"]
Marvin: We're destructive, but we're not THAT destructive.
Symeon: Yes we are!
Frighid: Not on purpose!

Somewhere between busting a human trafficking ring by exploding the apartment block it was based in and accidentally zombifying a major metropolitan area while sleeping, our party finally concluded that yes, we are that destructive. And we're very, very sorry.

Eric: "Hello there whatsyourface, my name’s Eric Withakay, formerly of Clan Withakay."

Hella: "I'm a half-dwarf, half-tiefling."
Eric: "Or a dwiefling, if you will."

My next character will have to be a member of Clan Withakay. Torvin Withakay, to be precise.

We had a half dwarf, half gnome battlerager once. Despite being the most sadistically bloodthirsty character I've ever met (used a ring of jumping for bonus charge damage with her helmet spike, loved to fight giants because then she could burrow into them), we insisted on calling her our party's "Dwome, sweet Dwome".

Rose: “Even my abilities have limits. Dead and Downed are not the same medical condition.”

I feel your pain...

Nymphadora: So I'm paying 1500 gp to teach Suckerpunch how to speak common.
Iskander: Why would you do that?! Believe me, he hates everyone and just curses a blue streak incessantly in abyssal.
Nymphadora: An extra 500 gp if the trainers can teach him that compliments are actually curse words.
DM: ... roll insight for Suckerpunch
Suckerpunch: natural 1
One week later...
Nymphadora: Introducing the first ever Xvart to speak common, our MC for tonight, Suckerpunch!
Suckerpunch: GOOD evening to all you FINE and LOVELY people! I'm THRILLED AS PUNCH to be here tonight! I LOVE YOU ALL and hope you have very PROSPEROUS and SUCCESSFUL lives!

First Mate Zaz: I'm not moving from my post! I have to keep the captains' quarters safe while everyone is distracted.
Iskander: Are you not going to the boxing match because you have a job to do, or... because no one invited you? *rolls a natural 20*
First Mate Zaz: Sigh... It's true. No one invites me to anything. No one comes to my book clubs!
Purrsilla (currently a mouse): NERD!
First Mate Zaz: Gods I hate the mice on this ship...

DM: The crew grabs you and stuffs you into a crate.
Iskander: Can I get my hands free?
DM: Sure.
Iskander: I drink a potion of invisibility and just lie in the bottom of the crate.
DM:... After about an hour of frantic searching, the crew concludes the ship is infested by demons. They do find Cecil though, and stuff him into your crate. Where he hovers about 2 feet off the floor of the crate. This freaks the crew out so much, they nail the crate shut and throw it over board.
Iskander: Oops. Good thing we all breathe water right? Right Cecil?

[Beacon of Chaos]

Anna: I roll to to see if I can kill my brain!

[JAL_1138]

DM: Despite the fact that your Tabaxi Monk/Barbarian could still outrun God with a broken ankle, the module says to use these blitheringly-stupid chase rules that take absolutely no account of individual character builds, so roll initiative and leave a scathing review on DMsguild.

[DigoDragon]

Spoiler: Responses

Show

DM: so roll initiative and leave a scathing review on DMsguild.

A+ witty humor right here. ^_^

I feel your pain...

Even in high-fantasy/high-tech, there's only so much us medics can do. And sometimes you get those days where the party keeps getting hurt and you're like, "Hey, I just healed that! Can't you go one encounter without breaking something?"

And then there are other times where you end up in the position saying "I'm a doctor, not an English teacher!"

Sniper: “Rose made it sound like she was leaving it to the zebra's discretion on disbursing the funds, rather than targeting specific needs to undermine the CPI.”
Rose: “It did at first, but I forgot that Rose also won the zebras. So let's take it all.”

Sniper: “We have eight zebras in our pocket.”
Rose: “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see you.”

Sniper: “Got a real bad feeling about Wire knowing of the existence of the CPI’s Control Chips.”
Rose: “I have a bad feeling the delegation from the CPI was gonna trade chips for an alliance with Wire.”
GM: “That is an interesting theory.”

Rose: “10/10, would wager the souls of NPCs again.”

Love: “Wire might target Love's friend if he knew the full extent of their relationship. Love doesn't want to shoot Wire! We should be friends.”
Rose: “I just watched Deadpool the other day when it came on TV. If Wire dares target a friend of ours, shooting Wire would be mercy.”
Love: “Let's hope that doesn't happen! We still don't want to have to make a huge mess of things.”
Rose: “Not make a huge mess of things? Us? Are you Love or did you get replaced by a changeling?”

Rose: “Why do ponies go to bed?”
Star: “Because the bed won’t come to them.”

Love: “Where you really betting your service to [Rose] here? What type of loyalties were you promising her? A week? Apprentice tasks?”
Timiti: (cringing) “For our entire lives.”
Anaki: “We didn't think it possible to win.”
Sniper: “Winner? Permanent help? Is there something I should know?”
Love: “[Rose], let's not rush into things and deals again. You got slaves last time that happened.”
Rose: “I didn’t expect to win my own zebra harem!”

[Beacon of Chaos]

Zapp: *singing* Come with meeee, and you'll beeee, in a world of pure evisceration!~

[JAL_1138]

DM: You tried to shoot through the Fog Cloud, but mist.

Player 1: Your sense of humor is cornier than Nebraska at harvest-time.

Player 2: Pot, kettle.

[D.KnightSpider]

Sniper: "I have no words. I walk in to find everyone is shipping Sniper Scope with Octavia Melody. Flat what."

[DigoDragon]

Sniper: "I have no words. I walk in to find everyone is shipping Sniper Scope with Octavia Melody. Flat what."

You know your ship is in trouble when dating a musician falls flat. ;)


Nick: "Honestly I see myself more as Gomer Pyle. I know what train I'm riding."

Nick: "So your cavalry half-orc barbarian was reincarnated as a hood ornament?"

GM: "See, when you hip hoop fee... hip hoop feet... hoop hip... ugh!!"
Chris: "You mean hip hoot beets... no wait..."
GM: "You expect horses, not zebras is what I'm saying."
Digo: "I think Zecora cursed y'all."

GM: "They're also decent planar travelers."
Digo: "Nothing fancy, just planar."

Digo: "I'd have the focus of Vaseline on the Hubble telescope lens."

Nick: "This is why hobos ride trains; they're cheaper."

Digo: "What was that high-pitch whistle?"
Nick: "I think a gnome farted."

Digo: "He has all the drama of a jar of mayonnaise and none of the cholesterol."

Party: *triggers a pit trap*
Chris: *falls and hits the ground*
Calvin: *lands on Chris*
Hobbs: *lands on Calvin*
Cactus: *lands on Hobbs*
Digo: "Wait, where'd the cactus come from?"
Nick: "Didn't land on us, so who cares?"

[JAL_1138]

NPC: We need them alive, and with a minimum of collateral damage. Any questions?

Goblin Ranger: *raises hand*

NPC: Yes?

Goblin Ranger: Why you hire goblins?

Goblin Sorcerer: We make go boom! Booyagh!

Goblin Fighter: Bree-yark!

NPC: *slumps forward, covering his face with his hands in utter defeat* Uuuuggghhh...

[CrazyPenguin]

Silas: "I roll to wake up."
DM: "You roll off the roof and break your neck. You die."

Silas: "So my armor's black, with big spikes for decoration, and patches that look like flowing lava."
Eric: "That's edgy!"

Eric: "We lack the technology to create flush toilets, but we do have bendy straws."

Silas: "I buy a coconut and eat it like an apple."

Zephania: "I ate dwarf once in Vegas."

DM: "Nosey is here! Time to regurgitate!"
Eric: "I think he should stay in the vore dimension."

Zephania: *detailed description of vomiting Nosey up like a cat*
DM: "It destroys the shop you’re standing in. The shopkeeper looks down and calmly asks 'What the ****?'"

Eric: "It’s a combination Necronomicon-Kama Sutra."

Silas: "We should buy a horse."
Eric: *raises hand*
Silas: "Yes?"
Eric: "I’m too short to ride a horse."
Silas: "You can ride on Zephania."
Eric: *raises hand*
Silas: "What."
Eric: "I would like a pony."

Eric: "The horse has a sidecar. Which means we tied another, smaller, horse to it."

Nosey: "You’re concerning. It’s concerning that you have these thoughts. It’s concerning that you think these things. It’s concerning that anyone could think these things."

[DigoDragon]

Sniper: “Is my armor too big or is that my pelt crawling?”

Love: “Rose! You almost killed your entire family! No more cursed game boards for you!”

Sniper: “I think it says something that the manipulative Changeling Queen and the Equestrian War Machine both qualify as Rose's 'ex'.”

Love: “The [changelings] seem to really like that gift...”
Star: “That’s a bug zapper, Love.”

Rose: “So this is what one of Sniper's aneurisms feels like.”
Sniper: “It's a glorious feeling, isn't it?”
Rose: “Being you is pain.”

GM: “Anaki begins. She bends one way, then another, and she is much more flexible than Rose.”
Rose: “Wow, you make spaghetti noodles look stiff. That's impressive.”

[LordCdrMilitant]

Dark Heresy, Last Year: [The party was Ordo Malleus, investigating the Alpha Legion]
Heka: We're the Ordo Xenos and we're here to investigate genestealers in your pumping station.
Admiral Antonia: *raises eyebrow* There are no genestealers in my pumping station.
Erlin: How do you know? It could be genestealers.
Admiral Antonia: Genestealers don't leave power-armored bootprints and throw hand grenades.
Chad: Look here, who's the Ordo Xenos and who's not? How do you know that Genestealers can't throw frag grenades?
Admiral Antonia: *rolls eyes* I'm not going to stop you from going down there to look, but there aren't any genestealers.


Deathwatch, Sunday:
Agent 4: Oh, by the way, there are no genestealers. I said there were genestealers in my vox so as not to arouse suspicion. I am leaving this world now, good luck.
Sartaq: Toodle-o!
Tomix: She's so stupid. Why would someone do that.
*long pause*
Tomix: Oh wait... We did exactly that last campaign! She's us!

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Steiner (OOC): Let's just assume the horrible creature is highly lecherous and speak no more about it. Because that's far less disturbing than the alternative.

Cap'n Tempest: A select few are born with this mark... some say blessed, some say cursed... and destined to rule the seas.
Addi: Uh, when we found you, you were working in an amusement park.
Tempest: ...Shut the **** up.

Tempest: These are the voyages of the ship Emperor. Her mission: to boldly loot where no man has looted before.
Steiner: To seek out new life, and pillage it!

[Guizonde]

dm: ok, lux transfers about 5000 years of data in 3 minutes on her hard drive...
dag: got anything medicinal, ray? maybe alcohol.exe or something?
ray: what do i look like?! a techno-barkeep?!
ross: you could, if you tried!

lux: soooo, 13 insanity points?
dm: yup.
ross: wait, she's the craziest of the bunch?!
ray: after amonakh, jencyo, padré, and the dm. in reverse order. *dodges a thrown chicken nugget*

jace: ok, i try to grab lux and heal her.
dm: you take 3 points of damage. she's burning hot to the touch.
jace: ow! ray! any idea how to chill her?
ray: *pulls out bolt pistol*
dm: RAY!!
dag: poor choice of words, padré...

dm: the dreadnought grabs your bolt pistol...
ray: *shrugs*
dm:... and crushes it. roll willpower.
ray: *rolls 3* *shrugs*
dag: damn, that's stoic.
dm: wait, that's your cursed bolter, right? (ray: *nods*) roll willpower again.
ray: *rolls 58, spends fate, rolls another 3* *shrugs*
dm: *googly eyes*
jace: now that's stoic!
lux: scarus sector stoic.
dm: uh, your bolt pistol un-crushes itself. you also take 2 corruption and 3 damage.
ray: *googly eyes* ok, that broke my stoicism.
ross: don't worry, you broke ours ages ago.

dag: i don't know what sucks more... that we survived or that we're gonna get killed by our captain for surviving?
lux: he won't kill us. the station is worth too much to him.
dag: i've got the bill for all the damage. believe me, he's gonna kill us.
jace: *looks at the bill* emperor save us all. is the eye of terror empty this time of year?

dm: no teaching the A.I. to drink, ray!
ray: but the A.I. got lux data-drunk! no fair!

dag: the hell happened to you?!
ray: i got fisted by a dreadnought and covered in 10,000 year old sashimi.
dag: i... was expecting to have had the worse day. i'll take a 5 hour spacewalk and the bill from hell any day.
lux: meh, we've got video recordings for both. we'll judge later.

A.I.: i've got the means of opening your mind to fight chaos.
ray: wait, like jencyo?
A.I.: yes.
ray: any prereqs?
A.I: uh, plenty. but we're recruiting here. our current count of interpreters is 2 missing in action, 11,998 dead.
ray: meh, i've had worse odds.

jace: that sounds like borderline heresy.
ray: dude! we could kick chaos' behind with our hatred! how friggin' metal is that?!
dag: more metal than lux. (ooc: that we know of)
lux ooc: or that i know of.
dm: nope, nope, not getting into that territory. this is a pg table! with dismemberment.

A.I.: ok, who wants to get their brains twisted for the emperor?
team: *uneasy*
ray: 'scuse my mirepoix. [trans.: who dares wins.]
dag: this will be docked from your pay, ray.
lux: uh, i'll get it done too, but i'll lump the cost for me on amonakh.
ross: that friggin' genius at it again.