Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire

[Mewtarthio]

I think the whole tube-grown babies thing is a bit dumb because there is already a mechanism that works, and has worked, for... a very long time. Why re-invent the wheel? Fortunately, the human race as a whole is not at risk of dying out from lack of new babies, and there are ample alternatives out there that do not involve vat-grown infants that are much easier, cheaper, safer, and all-around more effective than doing so artificially. If it is ever done artificially, it will resemble human anatomy more so than a machine.

But the human womb can only grow one child at a time. The artificial womb has the same limitation, but it's far easier to procure a new artificial womb than it is to procure a surrogate mother. Besides, it's much more comfortable for the woman.

Besides, it's not reinvinting the wheel. It's improving the wheel. Just as the wheel evolved from circular rocks to treaded tires, so shall the womb evolve from a mere facet of human biology to something far greater. Imagine: From the very moment of conception, we shall control the child's life! No longer will we rely on the whims of the mother to eat right: We shall provide all babies with varying formulae designed to maximize their potential during crucial developmental years. They shall awaken from their vats, blink in the light surrounding them, and already be far more suited for their tasks than any natural born child subject to the fickle winds of random nature and free will. Ours will be a specialized society, stringent, yet satisfying: Every human shall be perfectly designed for his task, like a cog in the machine, all parts moving in harmony, engineered to perfection! In so doing, we shall create a transcendent society of supermen, just like in Bioshock!

Except maybe we should wait a little while before introducing the creepy little girls who suck out your bodily fluids with a syringe. Y'know, just to avoid technological singularity. I'm thinking we should start out with creepy androgynous adult men and sort of work our way down from there.

On a completely unrelated note, do you ever feel like your entire brain, starved from lack of mockable content, has turned inward and devoured itself? I'm just curious, is all. I don't feel that. I... feel... AMAZING! It's all so clear to me now, yes...

[Oracle_Hunter]

Every human shall be perfectly designed for his task, like a cog in the machine, all parts moving in harmony, engineered to perfection! In so doing, we shall create a transcendent society of supermen, just like in Bioshock!

Except maybe we should wait a little while before introducing the creepy little girls who suck out your bodily fluids with a syringe. Y'know, just to avoid technological singularity. I'm thinking we should start out with creepy androgynous adult men and sort of work our way down from there.

Does this mean that Utopia will be under the sea?

Okay... turning off the computer now and going into my Enertron to simulate a full night's sleep (which will still leave me hungry!) in the hopes that, when I exit the machine, more snark-fuel will be available.

[Eakin]

The magic jar was actually a Pokeball! It's only a matter of time before we get a story arc where virus trainers from around the world compete in some sort of tournament to decide who will be the greatest Virus Master of all time.

Interesting how in a week or two the magic spell attacking Mookie-D went from being "like a virus" in the sense that it could infect vulnerable seerers who were exposed to it to being an actual organism. What the hell?

[ElfLad]

"Hey, Dominic, you're out of the coma! I'm glad that you're alive, but no time to actually show emotion over my fiance's health, let's get on board the Exposition Train! Toot tooooot!"

This is an extraordinarily healthy relationship!

[Gez]

This is an extraordinarily healthy relationship!

Keep in mind that it's one based on mutual annoyance.

[kukn]

Meh. This arc has plummeted down into the bowels of the seventh circle of Hell. It's leaving me cold, bored and somewhat disgusted.

[Nerd-o-rama]

This thread went to a weird place...

Even for itself.

[Spiryt]

This thread went to a weird place...

Even for itself.

I could read whole page 184, but I'm afraid it would hurt my sanity even more.

[Green Bean]

This thread went to a weird place...

Even for itself.

Judging from this current arc, I gather that it was a coping mechanism.

[Monnock]

Awesome!

Ok... Ok... They are going to interrogate a virus? What is this? 24? What is Dominic going to do to it? Shoot it in the leg until it talks? Or is he going to beat it up with his mind? How can it even communicate? Why can it even communicate? If it could communicate, why didn't Dominic do it to the one in Z, or did it already die? How the heck does it even know anything when it was in a sword? Why the heck is the 'magic jar' so special? Why can't it just jump out? How could it even get out of a jar? Why did he puke it up when he was fighting it in his brain? ... No, make that outside his brain.

Omg, so much stupid in just the first half of the strip.

So why did Donovan 'lie' about his girlfriend being a blinder when he so matter-of-factly said 'Oh yeah, I dated one of them?' How did he even 'lie' to Dominic? He already said he dated one, and he is still denying that it is his daughter, so exactly what part did he lie about? He knew that she was a blinder, he knew that blinders committed mass suicide, where is the contradiction in thinking that she was dead? Oh wait, apparently he knew that she was still alive, at least I think that was what was trying to be conveyed in the last strip, but he didn't know that she was a blinder.

Anyways, they did exactly jack and squat to try and help him when they already knew there was a serial oracle killer on the loose. What, did they think they were immune just because nobody would dare to attack them unless they were somehow related to the family?

[Mx.Silver]

Awesome!

Ok... Ok... They are going to interrogate a virus? What is this? 24? What is Dominic going to do to it? Shoot it in the leg until it talks? Or is he going to beat it up with his mind? How can it even communicate? Why can it even communicate? If it could communicate, why didn't Dominic do it to the one in Z, or did it already die? How the heck does it even know anything when it was in a sword? Why the heck is the 'magic jar' so special? Why can't it just jump out? How could it even get out of a jar? Why did he puke it up when he was fighting it in his brain? ... No, make that outside his brain.

One word: Mookie.


(Yes, I joined for this thread. Hello everyone).

[SnowballMan]

Anyways, if you're getting kicked in the nuts as consistantly as, say, a woman gets cramps, you probably have bigger problems than can be solved by a gender swap.

That just made my list of fun internet quotes.

Meh. This arc has plummeted down into the bowels of the seventh circle of Hell. It's leaving me cold, bored and somewhat disgusted.

So wait, all the seventh circle of Hell has to offer is being cold, bored and somewhat disgusted? Wow, I have a lot less to worry about then I thought.

(Yes, I joined for this thread. Hello everyone).

Come for the thread, stay for the pie.

On a completely random note that has absolutely nothing to do with what this thread is actually about... why did anyone there think that they would need to do anything? Quilt didn't need to investigate. Miranda didn't need to contact the dead. They all should have known that Dominic would be the one to get the answers. At this point, they probably should have guessed it would be from the virus that he would vomit up. Even though that isn't the orifice he normally pulls his answers out of.

[Monnock]

On a completely random note that has absolutely nothing to do with what this thread is actually about... why did anyone there think that they would need to do anything? Quilt didn't need to investigate. Miranda didn't need to contact the dead. They all should have known that Dominic would be the one to get the answers. At this point, they probably should have guessed it would be from the virus that he would vomit up. Even though that isn't the orifice he normally pulls his answers out of.

Nothing happens because it's funny!

Seriously, he practically even says that in his news posts.

[AmberVael]

Is anyone else besides me wondering why the blinding "virus" actually had that weird physical form? I was pretty sure it was just meant to be a metaphor, you know, like most of the mental and dreamscape stuff.
But no, apparently the virus was actually some weird chinese dragon thing with a coolness factor of 0 that ran around in Dominic's stomach.
What's up with that?

[Morty]

What's up with that?

A Wizard Did It.

[Spiryt]

Is anyone else besides me wondering why the blinding "virus" actually had that weird physical form? I was pretty sure it was just meant to be a metaphor, you know, like most of the mental and dreamscape stuff.
But no, apparently the virus was actually some weird chinese dragon thing with a coolness factor of 0 that ran around in Dominic's stomach.
What's up with that?

It all happened so Dominic could once again show Luna that she knows nothing. Compared to him.

[Mauve Shirt]

I find it more confusing that it went from his brain to outside his body to his stomach.

[Johnny Blade]

Well... if people are feeling bored, I've been toying with the idea of calibrating the rock/suck of each Arc on some kind of scale. To start with, we'll need to rank all the Arcs, of course.

There are 22, so here's my rough ranking (from best to worst):

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22) Storm of Souls
21) Visions of Doom
20) Two Thief
19) The Battle for Barthis
18) Oracle Hunter (*Provisional*)
17) Ecstasy and Evil
16) Into the Woods
15) Luna
14) Wrapped and Returned
13) The Party
12) Couch Forts and Crying
11) Makeover!
10) Mob Mentality
9) The Curse
8) Oracle for Hire
7) It's My First Day
6) Class Action
5) Hello, Nurse
4) The War in Hell (*for Rape-Love*)
3) Endings and Annoyances
2) Snowsong
1) Shadow of Siegfried

Most of the trouble comes in the middle, where a bunch of "transition Arcs" are placed. I included them for completeness... but perhaps you have stronger feelings than I.

So, what do you think? Where did I misstep and how would you fix it?

There, I hope nobody is bored anymore

Well, I agree with many of your assessments, but here's my list (with a little explanation here and there):

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22) Battle for Barthis (Yeah, it had some pretty moronic moments, but I actually managed to ignore this. Apart from that, it had some nice scenes, okay dialog, and a plot that made some sense. As far as Dominic's scheme goes, Dumbledore got away with worse. All that makes this arc slightly above average and the best thing Mookie ever produced in my eyes.

21) Two Thief (Character development! And Mookie didn't even ignore it afterwards!)

20) The Curse (This is the only arc that managed to be intentionally funny.)

19 Into the Woods (No real complaints, but nothing really special either.)

18) Visions of Doom

17) Ecstasy and Evil (Well, as far as the plot is concerned, this one is not that bad. Szark was a cool character back then. But Luna's sister being married to Dominic's old friend is just too much of a coincidence. Also, Miranda and Donovan made their first appearance, if I'm not mistaken here, and even though Donovan is a nice character, the Deus ex Momina is a thing that never should have existed.)

16) Wrapped up and Returned

15) The Party (Could rank higher, but Luna was just too ****ing annoying here.)

14) The War in Hell (The rape thing cost this quite a few points, but besides that, it wasn't bad.)

13) The Storm of Souls (Mary Sue saves the world! And I could see that "Champion of Balance" twist coming a long time before it actually happened, and it makes no sense whatsoever when you consider Dominic's character. However, it's not without merit. It's just...Mary Sue saves the world.)

12) It's My First Day

11) Makeover

10) Mob Mentality

9) Couch Forts and Crying

8) Hello, Nurse!

7) Oracle for Hire (Awful for a gag-a-day strip, but not as bad as some later installments.)

6) Luna (I just hate the character.)

5) Class Action (Preachy as can be, and Neilen's fate had me question Mookie's mental health.)

4) Oracle Hunter (Tentatively, but there's just so much simply dumb and absurd stuff going on there that I doubt it will get better.)

3) Endings and Annoyances

2) Shadow of Siegfried

1) Snowsong (and Supergreg)

I find it more confusing that it went from his brain to outside his body to his stomach.

Not to forget that it started out as a magical virus that became some sort of, well, "chinese dragon thing with a coolness factor of 0" sums it up nicely, which doesn't have terribly much to do with a virus.
Also, it started out existing in Dominic's mind, or at least should have, since Dominic could only enter the mindscape of a person (including himself). Then it actually started having a direct impact on his body, which implies that it could physically affect his nervous system (or feeds the thesis of the snout chakra that I, inspired by Gez, composed).
Anyway, this virus thing is pretty much as dumb as it gets.

But I'm really looking forward to seeing if/how they will interrogate it.

[Mewtarthio]

Ah! Finally, mockability!

My guess is that Dominic will just strike up some sort of alliance with the virus. In exchange for information on the Oracle Hunter, the virus will get to Blind all the seers who don't deserve their powers. That includes anyone who opposes Dominus (for Dominus defines morality: his actions are inherently right and those against him are undeserving by definition), those who ally themselves with Dominus (such hubris! If a Deegan finds you useful, he will manipulate you towards his ends himself!), and those who have nothing to do with Dominus (because their lives have no meaning). I suspect this little guy could potentially rise as high as Second Caste.

[Mauve Shirt]

You really think Wrapped Up and Returned was better than Storm of Souls? It had no point!

[Johnny Blade]

Ah! Finally, mockability!

My guess is that Dominic will just strike up some sort of alliance with the virus. In exchange for information on the Oracle Hunter, the virus will get to Blind all the seers who don't deserve their powers. That includes anyone who opposes Dominus (for Dominus defines morality: his actions are inherently right and those against him are undeserving by definition), those who ally themselves with Dominus (such hubris! If a Deegan finds you useful, he will manipulate you towards his ends himself!), and those who have nothing to do with Dominus (because their lives have no meaning).

Worse, they actually fail to acknowledge the supreme reign of Lord Dominus the All-Seeing. Therefore, their shallow lives are not only without purpose, no, they also lack even the most basic form of decency that even Celesto possessed: to know who is master and leader in the Deeganverse.
I would even say that these people are devoid of any humanity at all. Because, ask yourself, what is more human? To secretly curse the stars for being so far, far out of your reach that you can only stare at them in a lonely blue night in secret admiration, or to gaze at the beauty of the sky and see...nothing?

I suspect this little guy could potentially rise as high as Second Caste.

This reminds me of something: Spark has appeared only once in this arc so far. Maybe Dominic is getting a new wacky sidekick?

You really think Wrapped Up and Returned was better than Storm of Souls? It had no point!

Yeah, but it also didn't cause me severe headaches. Actually, I rated quite a few of these fillerish mini-arcs pretty high. The Party, for example, or the next five arcs under Storm of Souls.
However, this doesn't mean I thought these arcs are really good, just that they aren't as bad as some of Mookie's other misdeeds.
(And Storm of Souls just annoyed me. )

[Gez]

What's up with that?

What's up with that? Well, Mookie is trying to achieve a coolness factor of negative infinite. This "virus" represents his "minus one googolplex" milestone.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Well, I agree with many of your assessments, but here's my list (with a little explanation here and there):

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22) Battle for Barthis (Yeah, it had some pretty moronic moments, but I actually managed to ignore this. Apart from that, it had some nice scenes, okay dialog, and a plot that made some sense. As far as Dominic's scheme goes, Dumbledore got away with worse. All that makes this arc slightly above average and the best thing Mookie ever produced in my eyes.

21) Two Thief (Character development! And Mookie didn't even ignore it afterwards!)

20) The Curse (This is the only arc that managed to be intentionally funny.)

19 Into the Woods (No real complaints, but nothing really special either.)

18) Visions of Doom

17) Ecstasy and Evil (Well, as far as the plot is concerned, this one is not that bad. Szark was a cool character back then. But Luna's sister being married to Dominic's old friend is just too much of a coincidence. Also, Miranda and Donovan made their first appearance, if I'm not mistaken here, and even though Donovan is a nice character, the Deus ex Momina is a thing that never should have existed.)

16) Wrapped up and Returned

15) The Party (Could rank higher, but Luna was just too ****ing annoying here.)

14) The War in Hell (The rape thing cost this quite a few points, but besides that, it wasn't bad.)

13) The Storm of Souls (Mary Sue saves the world! And I could see that "Champion of Balance" twist coming a long time before it actually happened, and it makes no sense whatsoever when you consider Dominic's character. However, it's not without merit. It's just...Mary Sue saves the world.)

12) It's My First Day

11) Makeover

10) Mob Mentality

9) Couch Forts and Crying

8) Hello, Nurse!

7) Oracle for Hire (Awful for a gag-a-day strip, but not as bad as some later installments.)

6) Luna (I just hate the character.)

5) Class Action (Preachy as can be, and Neilen's fate had me question Mookie's mental health.)

4) Oracle Hunter (Tentatively, but there's just so much simply dumb and absurd stuff going on there that I doubt it will get better.)

3) Endings and Annoyances

2) Shadow of Siegfried

1) Snowsong (and Supergreg)

The reason I put "Storm of Souls" up top is because it was the appropriate realm of combat for a Marty Stu like Mookie-D. Cosmic conflict, training montage, and mucho Celesto development? What's not to like?

Oh, and actual dramatic tension. Remember, this was before Mookie proved all his characters to be immortal.

"Ecstasy" I may have put too low (you make good points) but the week of Inappropriate Ass Shots made me put it lower. "War in Hell" was actually pretty good, so I'll move it up. I have a taste for Drama so I tend to put the more Drama (and plot!) rich strips higher - but Curse was probably the best of the "funny" Arcs.

"Oracle Hunter," despite today's stupidity, still is better than the average Arc, so I wouldn't put it below halfway.

Re: Today's strip

OH THE HUMANITY!

Did Mookie just forget any pretense of internal consistency in this story? The Rule of Cool cannot run a world with ostensible "dramatic" aims. This sort of abuse of Fridge Logic and Hand Waving shows a complete disrespect for the narrative he's trying to build. I'll recalibrate the Arc Ranks in a bit, but today hurt "Oracle Hunter" by at least a full point.

[Johnny Blade]

The reason I put "Storm of Souls" up top is because it was the appropriate realm of combat for a Marty Stu like Mookie-D. Cosmic conflict, training montage, and mucho Celesto development? What's not to like?

Put this way, your rating makes a lot of sense to me.
Also, I certainly won't claim that I even tried to be objective, so my one and only reason for placing it rather low remains that it just bugged me.

Oh, and actual dramatic tension. Remember, this was before Mookie proved all his characters to be immortal.

I didn't feel any tension, actually. Probably because the whole premise of the arc annoyed me and it was written before I actually followed the comic, so I just skimmed through it.
But, one thing: It never felt like any important member of the cast was in real danger here. Except for Klo Tark, who was a safe bet.

"Ecstasy" I may have put too low (you make good points) but the week of Inappropriate Ass Shots made me put it lower.

Oh...heh, totally forgot about that - probably the blessing of repression.
I may have to take another look at it, but I already rated it lower than I intended initially because of Miranda.

I have a taste for Drama so I tend to put the more Drama (and plot!) rich strips higher - but Curse was probably the best of the "funny" Arcs.

Ah, I already wondered why you seemed to dislike it.
Anyway, this may also have to do with my perspective. I actually started reading Dominic Deegan out of curiosity: everyone seemed to find it horrible, so I wanted to know what's so terribly wrong with it. Reading The Curse was actually the only time I wondered why it's hated so much.
The comic didn't need too much time to show me the reasons.

"Oracle Hunter," despite today's stupidity, still is better than the average Arc, so I wouldn't put it below halfway.

It's not just today's stupidity.
There also are Donovan's generally ignorant behavior, the anticlimactic reveal of the OH's origin (actually, this was done two times: first by Dominic, when he figured out how she managed to "blind" the seers without being seen then by Donovan/Quilt/Miranda concerning why she called Dominic her brother), gay Szark-who-is-gay's gay tirades of gay gayness, Quilt and Zanzibar ad nauseam, and pretty much everything concerning the virus.
Also, whenever I look back at what happened so far, I get the distinct impression that Mookie doesn't know what he's doing at all.
Also, nothing really happened while the Mary Sue was out, although Mookie at least came up with more than just talking heads.

Re: Today's strip

OH THE HUMANITY!

Did Mookie just forget any pretense of internal consistency in this story? The Rule of Cool cannot run a world with ostensible "dramatic" aims. This sort of abuse of Fridge Logic and Hand Waving shows a complete disrespect for the narrative he's trying to build. I'll recalibrate the Arc Ranks in a bit, but today hurt "Oracle Hunter" by at least a full point.

Aw, come on. As far as Phlebotinum is concerned, this magic jar is one of the more mind-numbingly absurd original manifestations.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Aw, come on. As far as Phlebotinum is concerned, this magic jar is one of the more mind-numbingly absurd original manifestations.

Oh no, it's not the jar - it's the "virus." It goes from being an invisible metaphorical mystic construct, to being a microscopic (and possibly metaphoric) worm, to being a macroscopic, sentient being.

Extended rant follows:

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That transition completely ignores any and all internal logic that may have existed in the exchange - it runs completely by the Rule of Cool. Mookie uses the Rule of Cool so much that it is strained to the breaking point; if you use The Rule too much, the reader cannot take your story seriously - after all, the writer clearly doesn't.

This particular instance is but a particularly blunt manifestation of a long running problem of Mookie - he cannot balance Drama and Comedy. By piling on Comedic elements during an ostensibly "dramatic" portion of the plot, he jolts the readers out of their concern for the characters and story, and thus ruins any plot momentum or dramatic tension.

The man needs a dimmer switch, is all I'm saying.

[InkEyes]

If this story arc ends with the magical virus feeling guilty and atoning for past sins by being shipped to The Ministry of Love Aberthast Cathedral, I'll LAWL.

[Johnny Blade]

Oh no, it's not the jar - it's the "virus." It goes from being an invisible metaphorical mystic construct, to being a microscopic (and possibly metaphoric) worm, to being a macroscopic, sentient being.

Ah, okay. That of course never made much sense and rapidly got worse.
However, judging by its facial expressions, it always appeared to be semi-sentient*, and we don't know how Dominic thinks it is going to tell them everything. (And no, I don't know why I just defended Mookie. Perhaps I just like tempting fate.)

* Not saying that would make sense, it just didn't get worse here.

If this story arc ends with the magical virus feeling guilty and atoning for past sins by being shipped to The Ministry of Love Aberthast Cathedral, I'll LAWL.

Just imagine that...
Locked up in Room 101, the virus is constantly tormented by visions of a wrestling match with a half naked seer.
Poor bastard.

[Spiryt]

If this story arc ends with the magical virus feeling guilty and atoning for past sins by being shipped to The Ministry of Love Aberthast Cathedral, I'll LAWL.

Well, certainly this drago... I mean virus looks oriental, and they say Mookie's wapanese so maybe...

Anyway it seems really weird to me to criticize absolutely everything about something you read. But worse thing is that all criticizm is justified in this case

I mean:

"Virus from the edge of the knife infested main hero in few minutes, only to be defeated by heroe's "mental self" looking like folk from S&M club, and then is vomited by mentioned hero, and soon will be interogated."

Aaaauuuuu!!!

[Oracle_Hunter]

Well, certainly this drago... I mean virus looks oriental, and they say Mookie's wapanese so maybe...

Actually, it always reminded me of the larval Pizza Aliens from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... though I can't find a single image on the Internet of that episode.

[Nerd-o-rama]

One thing about the Rules of Cool and Funny , Oracle Hunter, is that you can run a whole narrative on it. The vast majority of comedy and even many dramatic cartoons run off one or the other, as do arguably superhero comics. If you're a good writer and consistent about it. If you're a mediocre fanfictionist who can't decide whether he wants to craft a serious drama or fart jokes from day to day as you're writing, the work is obviously going to crack and disintegrate.

The biggest example of an entirely-Rule of Cool show that springs immediately to mind is Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann (Gainax's other non-Evangelion scifi probably counts as well if I've heard the rumors right). And like I said, superhero comics (especially at DC) ran on pretty much "hey, this would be neat" for decades. Argue about their quality, but don't argue with their popularity.