Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire

[averagejoe]

Mookie has really kicked up the fan service of late. Might need to take it to the next level for him to keep readers.

The thought of this being fanservice horrifies me, since that means that there are people out there who who find that in some way sexy.

All in all, that is the worst splash page in the history of splash pages.

[Turcano]

Might need to take it to the next level for him to keep readers.

If that comment encourages Mookie through tempted fate to draw full frontal nudity, I swear by all that is good and pure in the world that I will hunt you down and murder you completely dead.

[Clockwork_Seal]

Purple crotch! Missing nipples!

Why Mookie? WHY?

Because there are no nipples in cheap anime.

Also, am I the only one who thinks that it looks like Dominic is about to 'save' Barnet? If I could get text to look anywhere near acceptable, I'd've altered his second bubble by now.

[Jayngfet]

lucky the internet had desensitised me do bad art and inexplicably stupidly dressed people or that could've taken my head clean off

and turcano, in one conversation we learn that the dominion ape and orcus mookeai can interbreed...


...perhaps they both diverged shortly after early dominion apes walked their world, one group(wich later evolved into magus and carnacaputa), must've stayed in their current location, and as they began diverging they began diverging into what I believe to be six distinct groups, carnacaputa, magus, the uet unnamed orcus subspecies and wherewolves

now, I believe that the carnacaputa and magus came from slightly different enviroments, possible only a few celsius degrees appart, they began wandering, foraging no doubt when some came to the domain of the orcus genus, wich has a relativley small animal population, I believe that they then diverged into three groups judged by distance travalled the weakest but more adaptable being close to the dominion ape's border, they appear to be the most curious and easy to spot individuals most notable specimins being stonewater and melena, who appear to have a magus's magis and a carnacaputa's often overwhelming agressivness, nextcomes the most agressive and farther away orcs, who appear to have more primitive magic (seemingly limited to farming and violence) and are much more agressive, lastly is the most widespread subspecies, seemingly agressive like a carnacaputa, displaying little magic, these are probably the descendants of nomads and also the most specialised geneticly, breeding in large numbers and apparently appear to have somewhat advanced knowledge by comparison, capable of only breeding with others like them, they seem to make up for this with a carnaputa's breeding, optimised to have shorter pregnancies and larger "litters", and seem to be the most chaotic yet innovative beings in dominion, capable of creating crude ranged weapons and yet spending more time in-fighting than anything productive.


the wherewolves on the other hand seem to be the opposite, they appear to have slightly more magus DNA, however I believe that there was a genetic mutation early on (we can only assume that it was sometime at sea or later, there are no known wherewolves in the lands surrounding their home, nor dominion apes on their wintery grounds) possibly from the genetic imbalance of too much magus dna, seeming le corrupted in places by carnacaputa genes, it is my theory that recessive genes have made them more agressive than a dmoinion ape, and yet give them the ability to warp them into a form probably inspired by an early belief system built on nature worship, over time honing magus's versitile abilities into a single power designed for hunter-gatherer parties, however, an occasional gene surfaces in beings known as "spellwolves" who seem to have natural agression, honed wolf like characteristics, and limited version of magus's spells, spell wolves are seemingly few in wherewolf populations and all large magical activities they are seen in has only a single wolf to four maguses(they are shown interacting with a strange dominion being called the slime, believed to be a seperate species that has recently mimiced dominion ape evolution).


perhaps we can further classify hey creatures of dominion with more data, no one asked about a specimin known as "dirk"'s small hight, so we must assume that there are more types of dominion ape that currently seen

[Raroy]

If that comment encourages Mookie through tempted fate to draw full frontal nudity, I swear by all that is good and pure in the world that I will hunt you down and murder you completely dead.

Mookie doesn't read this thread, his brain would explode if he did. Sides, if you like something that is of this bad of quality you might like things that are also of low quality. I'm just saying...... I would never want such a thing. Mainly because Mookie's women look like men with inflated balloons and I find the male body repulsive (No offense. You guys know what I mean.) I would throw up through my eye sockets if mookie were to draw anything that was meant to be on a higher level of sexuality.

[Jayngfet]

I would throw up through my eye sockets if mookie were to draw anything that was meant to be on a higher level of sexuality.

no you want that other travoria sister, the one with glasswood gel implants...

[Spiryt]

Is.... is this what Mookie actually thinks is cool?

An ass shot sir.

Also, I don't think that today's splash is really commentable.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Have I lived so wrongly that I deserved today's update? What sin did I commit (in this or any life) that required today's update to rectify?

Spoilered (descended into madness)

Spoiler

Show

Between the bad art (already mentioned) the Unfortunate Implications (towering mostly naked man holding an enormous phallus symbol with engorged "nether regions" lording over a tiny, fetal naked female enclosed in an "egg") and the sheer stupidity of having a week of useless crap build up to this? I think I may have just gone insane.

Move over Elflad, I'm joining you in the asylum.

Spoilered (lost some more SAN)

Spoiler

Show

Mookie must intentionally be trying to destroy his comic, to make something so... purple - I mean mind-blowingly dumb & offensive. Is there a word that combines the two? It would be a noun, meaning "an object or representation that is both poorly executed and deeply offensive." It would have today's splash next to it, to illustrate. And don't just say "Mookie" - that's too easy. It must be so evocative so that nobody need open a dictionary to look it up, and thereby be exposed to today's inflamatory dumbering.

[Spiryt]

Spoiler

Show

Spoilered (lost some more SAN)

Spoiler

Show

Mookie must intentionally be trying to destroy his comic, to make something so... purple - I mean mind-blowingly dumb & offensive. Is there a word that combines the two? It would be a noun, meaning "an object or representation that is both poorly executed and deeply offensive." It would have today's splash next to it, to illustrate. And don't just say "Mookie" - that's too easy. It must be so evocative so that nobody need open a dictionary to look it up, and thereby be exposed to today's inflamatory dumbering.

I could try with some polish words but:
- forum rules forbid using vulgarity, especially in non english language
- you wouldn't get it anyway.
- they're mostly adjetives, anyway.

[Humbug]

The fact that I called it doesn't make me any happier.

[Morty]

It's... I.... what have I done? I mean, I did few bad things in my life, but what did I do to deserve this? I mean... it's... I... why...
*M0rt curls up in the corner of the room sobbing quietly*

[Gez]

**The mating behavior of S. mookiei carnacaputa has never been observed except in cases of interbreeding with S. mookiei magus, so speculation on their mating habits is tentative at best.

There seems to be actually three subspecies. The S. mookiei carnacaputa, commonly called the Jackass Jock, is characterized by its more massive frame. Only one female specimen is known, the specimen called "Rachel."
The S. mookiei magus, or Noble Nerd, is thin and somewhat androgynous, but has spellcasting possibilities.

But there is a third: S. mookiei tunicarufus, or Random Redshirts, are physically indistinguishable from S. mookiei magus but do not share their magical powers. This weak and frail subspecies presumably evolved its ressemblance to the Noble Nerd as a passive defense system, just like some amphibians and reptiles evolve to look like poisonous or venomous species to dissuade predators.

Some specimen commonly thought to be NN may very well be in fact RR. The case of specimen "Donovan Deegan" is a prime suspect: have we ever seen him cast a spell?

While most Random Redshirts have an inconsequential, short and useless life, some have been known to acquire a measure of power which makes them nearly the equals of the Noble Nerds they resemble so much. The case of specimen "Szark Sturtz" (who, maybe coincidentally, also exhibits strong homosexual behavior) is famous.

[rubakhin]

I could try with some polish words but:
- forum rules forbid using vulgarity, especially in non english language
- you wouldn't get it anyway.
- they're mostly adjetives, anyway.

Is there a Polish equivalent to "poshlost"? Because this strip is like the Platonic ideal.

[Revlid]

OH GOD THE SANCTITY OF MY PRECIOUS EYES
there is only one solution
HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR

[Morty]

Is there a Polish equivalent to "poshlost"? Because this strip is like the Platonic ideal.

While this word describes DD very accurately, I don't think there's any equivalent in Polish or English. Of course, now it's going to haunt me for days until I do find one.

[Jayngfet]

There seems to be actually three subspecies. The S. mookiei carnacaputa, commonly called the Jackass Jock, is characterized by its more massive frame. Only one female specimen is known, the specimen called "Rachel."
The S. mookiei magus, or Noble Nerd, is thin and somewhat androgynous, but has spellcasting possibilities.

But there is a third: S. mookiei tunicarufus, or Random Redshirts, are physically indistinguishable from S. mookiei magus but do not share their magical powers. This weak and frail subspecies presumably evolved its ressemblance to the Noble Nerd as a passive defense system, just like some amphibians and reptiles evolve to look like poisonous or venomous species to dissuade predators.

Some specimen commonly thought to be NN may very well be in fact RR. The case of specimen "Donovan Deegan" is a prime suspect: have we ever seen him cast a spell?

While most Random Redshirts have an inconsequential, short and useless life, some have been known to acquire a measure of power which makes them nearly the equals of the Noble Nerds they resemble so much. The case of specimen "Szark Sturtz" (who, maybe coincidentally, also exhibits strong homosexual behavior) is famous.

hmm... tunicarufus must be a new subspecies because they don't seem to have any recognisable traits, unless they are marginally smarter than their bretherin, then they could have contributed to the third "common orc"'s current genetic makeup, this could also explain some things, such as dominic's superiority, coming from the smarter subspecies, another theory is that magus requires certan prequisites to use their power, as there are documeted examples of blockage, perhaps there is some sort of chemical found in certan area's water, repressant spells could fool the body into reacting as if it were another chemical, perhaps certan hybrids(such as luna and gregory) have this ans a latent ability, working to a different effects, such as hair changing color in a seemingly random pattern.

[Zordrath]

Today's strip made me want to spend the whole day with nothing else but mocking Mookie. Seriously, doesn't he have EYES? Is he drawing that stuff without actually LOOKING at it?

Some specimen commonly thought to be NN may very well be in fact RR. The case of specimen "Donovan Deegan" is a prime suspect: have we ever seen him cast a spell?

Ah, but Donovan Deegan clearly cannot be a random redshirt. The mere thought that the great Dominus himself is but the offspring of someone who is per definition useless, is too heretic to even contemplate. Only the union between two highly powerful NNs could spawn a being as high and mighty as the Great D.

[kukn]

Oh Lord... I knew it was going to be something like this, but my mind couldn't prepare me for the magnitude of depravation, couldn't concuct such a perversion and subversion of sanity and aesthetics.

But, why? Why?! WHY?!!!

(short return to sanity) I mean, even from the point of view of character consistency, Dom should look like what his mental image is... the bookish, rational, always fully-clothed, mathematical seer should NOT turn into a grotesque Quasimodo He-man.

And about that word, Oracle_Hunter:

Spoiler

Show

A certain 4-letter word beginning with S and ending with T fits the meaning aptly (and would be possible to juxtapose as a picture). But I feel that the said word does not convey a strong enough message, as its use is much too common.

[Spiryt]

I would risk the statement that the most distinguishable trait of Noble Nerds, S. mookiei is not their magic capability, but their higher inteligence and strongly developed mindsoulscape. This lead to the important feature of 'true noble' Ape - obvious mental instability, particulary tendency to hallucinations which don't seem to be caused by external factors - exhibit 1 exhibit 2

Obviously their are able to intercouse and communicate during the hallucinations (on the level of mindsoulscape) - example
That, I believe, makes them feel different and distinct. Of course magical ability is possesed by numerous individuals (presumably about 85 %) is also important.

But there is a third: S. mookiei tunicarufus, or Random Redshirts, are physically indistinguishable from S. mookiei magus but do not share their magical powers. This weak and frail subspecies presumably evolved its ressemblance to the Noble Nerd as a passive defense system, just like some amphibians and reptiles evolve to look like poisonous or venomous species to dissuade predators.

For me, they seem to be just weak framed (presumably due to poor nourishment conditions) individual of commmon S. mookiei carnacaputa. It is however possible, that they indeed should already be classified as diferent subspecies - they seem to be adaptated to live in the neighbourhood of Noble Apes.

[Green Bean]

Legs do not work that way!

[sihnfahl]

Dom should look like what his mental image is... the bookish, rational, always fully-clothed, mathematical seer should NOT turn into a grotesque Quasimodo He-man.

You're thinking the wrong thing. He's become
*
Twink Dom. That's an outfit you'd find at the Castro, I'd think.
*

[Zordrath]

Well, maybe that IS how he secretly sees himself... :P

[Johnny Blade]

...

After seeing this splash page, I can do nothing but stand in silent scare because of the strip and equally silent admiration of Humbug and Winterwind, who predicted this...thing.

(Which is a shame, by the way, because not only has Mookie taken his knack for inappropriate sexualization to the next level, I could also think of a perfectly usable throwaway pun about Barnet being a two-dimensional character. Oh well... )

Regarding the different breeds/species of the Dominion Ape:

Spoiler

Show

I would argue that all the Dominion Ape species we currently see have evolved from one shared ancestor, the original S. mookiei.
My reasoning behind this is that, apparently, they can still interbreed. According to Professor Jayngfet, this holds true for orcs and "humans" (for the sake of simplicity, I will use this term since the species of Dominion Apes resident in Callan use it for themselves, no matter how wrong they are).
And let us not forget the specimen named Milov and Jayden, whose bonding aroused suspicion around the werewolves, but probably more for cultural reasons, as the outrage following the uncovering of Jayden's infidelity shows.

However, we don't know if Orcs and Werewolves can interbreed.
Therefore, I presume that the shared ancestor I mentioned above is still living in Dominion today: the "humans" are still a practically unaltered population of S. mookiei.
Orcs, Werewolves, Qualenti, Elves, Hobgoblins have all evolved through peripatric speciation and can probably still be crossed with, ahem, "humans", but not with one another.

This more or less directly leads to the differences between S. mookiei magus and S. mookiei carnacaputa, by the way.
After all, the two breeds seem to be present in all societies we have seen so far. (The same goes for S. mookiei tunicarufus.)
This can be integrated into my earlier thesis that the mindsoulscape, particularly the strength of the links to the planes of existence, define a person's mental capabilities.
There are a few further assumptions I'll work with now:
1. Magic is universal in Dominion, meaning that all the races seem to be capable of it. (It's covered for "humans" (*cough*), Orcs, Werewolves and Elves.)*
2. S. mookiei is capable of recognizing the, for the lack of a better word, strength of another Dominion Ape's mindsoulscape. I'd deem it possible that there is a sense attuned to magic. However, the explanation may be a lot more simple.
3. Dominion Apes of all species are, as a rule of thumb, drawn to specimen with a comparable mindsoulscape.
4. The strength of the links to the planes is hereditary.

Taking all this into consideration, I postulate my thesis that we can explain the existence of S. mookiei magus and S. mookiei carnacaputa** in all species with parallel evolution resulting from sexual selection.


*: Although different species seem to possess vaguely different forms of magic, or at least lend themselves to specific forms more easily. I take this as further proof for the hereditary nature of the mindsoulscape.
**: This may or may not hold true for S. mookiei tunicarufus, depending on their fertility. An interesting sidenote: It stands to reason that tunicarufus are the infertile offspring of carnacaputa, who apparently engage in sexual intercourse a lot more often than the shy S. mookiei magus, which would also explain their apparently lacking aggression with a lack of androgens, as has been noted before, although it escapes me at the moment who noted it.

I would risk the statement that the most distinguishable trait of Noble Nerds, S. mookiei is not their magic capability, but their higher inteligence and strongly developed mindsoulscape.

I share this view, although I have to add that I believe the three (magic, intelligence, mindsoulscape) to be connected, with the former two being tied to the latter, as I argued before. There may or may not be an allele that regulates the ability to cast spells.
(Which is very probable, since magic is capable of blasting your enemies into another dimension, teleportation, making fire, curing fatal wounds, and almost everything else you can think of, yet can be evoked by reading out random equations and formulae you don't even understand. Or making simple gestures and saying a single word. Also, every idiot with the IQ of a gourd (yeah, I'm lazy ) can learn it, and fast enough too, as Dominic's students show. So, I presume that almost everyone who is potentially able to use magic and is aware of this possibility will learn a few spells.)

This lead to the important feature of 'true noble' Ape - obvious mental instability, particulary tendency to hallucinations which don't seem to be caused by external factors - exhibit 1 exhibit 2

Also, the mental instability you mentioned results uncontrollable emotional outbursts, usually showing themself in the form of pathetic whining.
Actually, whining and hallucinations can even occur in conjunction.
S. mookiei carnacaputa, on the other hand, seems to be emotionally atrophied to the level of being unable to have any emotions but lust, amusement, anger, rage, wrath and frenzy. Possibly incensement, but I'm not sure about that.

Finally:

perhaps we can further classify hey creatures of dominion with more data, no one asked about a specimin known as "dirk"'s small hight, so we must assume that there are more types of dominion ape that currently seen

If memory serves, Dirk is a golem.
I don't know about the Nagasta, though. Maybe they were there before the S. mookiei. Maybe they have also evolved from the original S. mookiei but were exposed to hazardous amounts of magic, causing the mutations that turned them into what they are today.


Again, I just know I forgot something important.

[Friv]

If he's trying to get people's attention, it's working.

Every time I close my eyes, that image is waiting for me. It's like some sort of horrifying brain poison, just whittling away at my thoughts. I fear to think about what it might be eating in there.

Hopefully not something that makes me piss myself.

[Midnight Lurker]

"I am Dominic, seer of Callan, defender of the secrets of flexible morality. This is Spark, my clueless friend. Fabulous Gary Stu powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic crutch and said 'BY THE POWER OF MOOKIE!' Spark continued to be Spark, but I became DOMINUS -- THE MOST CORRECT MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!"

[Winterwind]

Even on the risk of sounding repetitive, I still do not think the "Dex" specimen can be considered a mere mutation of the carnacaputa species. I could easily see magical resistance being an advantageous mutation that would, in many generations, spread throughout the carnacaputa population, but there are even more anomalies about the "Dex" specimen: In addition to its magical resilience, it also possesses increased intelligence, is capable of infiltrating both S. mookiei magus herds and carnacaputa packs (hypothesis: pheromones?), and lacks the territoriality and aggressiveness of the typical Common Jock. All those mutations, which seem so very much focused on a single purpose (allowing it to join any S. mookiei group with disregard to the species), should be just coincidence? I don't think so! Rather, we are dealing with yet another subspecies, albeit a difficult one to detect - and not without reason, for it is its astonishing mimicry which allows the Pseudojock (common name - somebody more knowledgeable than me should find a Latin denomination for it) to survive. It is like a humanoid cuckoo, laid into a group of another species to feed of it.

(Also, could somebody please translate carnacaputa and tunicarufus for those of us who are not fluent in Latin? )


Today's strip: No. Comment.

Because there are no nipples in cheap anime.

Also, am I the only one who thinks that it looks like Dominic is about to 'save' Barnet? If I could get text to look anywhere near acceptable, I'd've altered his second bubble by now.

Dominus damn you! I was going to make a strip exactly like that! Get outta my head right freaking now, before ! impale you on an overgrown icicle!

[Morty]

(Also, could somebody please translate carnacaputa and tunicarufus for those of us who are not fluent in Latin? )

"Carnacaputa" I guess translates roughly into "meathead" and "tunicarufus" into "redshirt". Hilarious how two slang words can sound all scientific and wise when pseudo-latinized.

[Elhana]

ARG! My eyes! My eyes!

I need to start coming to here first, before reading DD, so I can at least mentally prepare myself for such horrors.

I mean, I'm a girl, and I like guys...but...but that is still horrifying.

[Jayngfet]

If memory serves, Dirk is a golem.
I don't know about the Nagasta, though. Maybe they were there before the S. mookiei. Maybe they have also evolved from the original S. mookiei but were exposed to hazardous amounts of magic, causing the mutations that turned them into what they are today.


Again, I just know I forgot something important.
[/spoiler]

the dominion apes seemed to have been surprised at this, and other possible subspecies of dominion ape with no data are listed in its creation.

I think my "magic chemical" theory holds ground, the wherewolves in their seemingly more chemical heavy enviroment, resulting in partial in"humanity"

my theory is that the origional mookiai appeared, as they began diverging a small number or early orcs(no doubt the smaller less agressive ones or a close ancestor), diverged upon finding a large series of caverns, my belief is that these caverns, as well as water, plants and fungus around them were chemicly enriched, the caves were no doubt full off rocky levels and maby a magicly irridated form of fungus(a plant is unlikley due to the cell wall that flails about when attacked, the diet of exclusivly magic foods must've created rapid and extreme evolution, allowing the homo-serphentus as I call them to constrict their "prey" and climb from level to level) this also gave them a penchant for magic, allowing them to use primitive light spells(similar to the kind given off by the magus gregory after mating)

however I believe that eventually nagsta learned to use metals and gems effeciently, hollowing out tunnels to accomidate increasing population, eventually this led to the nagsta tunnels collapsing(presumably over a distance near barathis or come other dominion ape settlement, due to the apperance of several highly powerful magus, and possibly a small dominion ape subspecies descended from magus designed to mimic carnacaputa's size and make them invulnerable to magus's defenses, allowing them to rule over magus, however they appear to be an endangered species, I propose that many more became "advanced magus's than faux carnacaputs's, and the few seem to be breeding with magus more than each other, causing their own extinction, dex is sadly one of a race breeding to extinction, I propose that stunt is a rare faux/real carnacaputa hybrid, due to his smaller stature, seemingly unnatural physical endurance versus spells, while the specimin celesto is a magus/faux carnacaputa hybrid, due to his seeming inability to be killed with magic and ability to not be seen by scrying until he's close or suitably distracted.


I propose that there are few nagstas due to the cave in, as well as a certan nagsta metal being rare and valuble due to vast quantities of it being lost in the collapsed tunnels, as well as its seemingly magic nature.

in unrelated news, I put this thread on the unpleasable fans list of tv tropes, I mean, we do mock mookie on a daily basis, and strip slay him, and plan to raid his forums, alot, and were proud of it.

[Johnny Blade]

Spoiler

Show

Even on the risk of sounding repetitive, I still do not think the "Dex" specimen can be considered a mere mutation of the carnacaputa species. I could easily see magical resistance being an advantageous mutation that would, in many generations, spread throughout the carnacaputa population, but there are even more anomalies about the "Dex" specimen: In addition to its magical resilience, it also possesses increased intelligence, is capable of infiltrating both S. mookiei magus herds and carnacaputa packs (hypothesis: pheromones?), and lacks the territoriality and aggressiveness of the typical Common Jock. All those mutations, which seem so very much focused on a single purpose (allowing it to join any S. mookiei group with disregard to the species), should be just coincidence? I don't think so! Rather, we are dealing with yet another subspecies, albeit a difficult one to detect - and not without reason, for it is its astonishing mimicry which allows the Pseudojock (common name - somebody more knowledgeable than me should find a Latin denomination for it) to survive. It is like a humanoid cuckoo, laid into a group of another species to feed of it.

I don't know, but I think I'll have to side with Turcano here: We're actually looking at the process of ongoing speciation here - the boundaries haven't been fully formed just yet, but isolation is observable.
The ability of the breed I'd call S. mookiei blanditius* to join all other breeds (both the higher S. mookiei magus, and S. mookiei carnacaputa and S. mookiei tunicarufus, which I'd tentatively subsume under S. mookiei vulgaris, is testament to this.
As time passes and the differences between S. mookiei magus and vulgaris increase, I suspect S. mookiei blanditius to vanish.


*: Probably incorrectly built from blanditia, for flattery or, erm, blandishment. I'm absolutely sure someone else can come up with something a lot better and funnier, as carnacaputa and tunicarufus show.

Dominus damn you! I was going to make a strip exactly like that! Get outta my head right freaking now, before ! impale you on an overgrown icicle!

Um...heh...hehehe...I have to...go...somewhere.



EDIT @ Jayngfet:
Interesting...reply tomorrow, alcohol now.