Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire

[Gez]

Ah, but you see you practically answered your own question. When the Limbic system was moved to the breasts there was no room for the mammary glands anymore. These were moved upward and now share space with the tear ducts. So every time a female S. Mookiei cries, they are secreting a mix of tears and milk. They constantly lactate because the body of female S. Mookiei contains much higher levels of hormones (to keep them weak and womanly).

This also explains why we have this:

Also: Rebuilt Travoria has no nipples? Did the Evolutionary Deeganologists already explain why the females of the species also lack nipples? Is this another snake-woman problem? Why can't I find the comic that discusses this?

No nipples because they're in the tear ducts. The consequence is that baby Dominion Apes, of any subspecies, feed themselves by licking their mothers' tears. Which, in turn, explains why female S. mookiei are so weak and emotive: so as to fit their biological role as nursing mothers, they have to be extremely weepy. Subconsciously, the most depressive women are seen by the males as the most attractive mates, because they'll be good mothers.

[Nerd-o-rama]

...okay, it started off as funny, but the whole S. mookiei theory is getting scarily coherent and applicable now.

[Gez]

...okay, it started off as funny, but the whole S. mookiei theory is getting scarily coherent and applicable now.

Just like the Caste System and the Church of Lord Dominus.

[ElfLad]

So, Szark is a homo mookiei, right?

[Johnny Blade]

Is anyone planning on actually collecting the assorted theorems of how the Dominiverse works into a single work, as opposed to interspersed with the rest of the stuff in this thread?

The Libri of Dominor?

The versus vis of Senior Dominor?

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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Something of that sort.

In any case, it'd be really entertaining to see the 'true' explanation of the comic laid out.

Well, for most things, there's the encyclopedia.
Also, I plan to post an article about the Dominion Ape on page 250 (which is rapidly approaching ).

I recommend the article be titled The Descent of Man (Into Madness and Mookie) Charles Darwin would be proud.

I plan to steal this idea for said article on page 250 (which is rapidly approaching ).

[Tonttu]

I know Mookie in a drag jokes got old already but I couldn't resist after getting this result on the randomizer.

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I'll go back to lurking now.

[Turcano]

Ah, but you see you practically answered your own question. When the Limbic system was moved to the breasts there was no room for the mammary glands anymore.

Hmm. That doesn't really work, as S. mookiei's neural decentralization occurred much later than this, in the species' branching off from S. japonica. However, many (if not most) subspecies of S. japonica still retain areolas, which suggests a less centralized mammary system similar to that of monotremes. S. mookiei may have a similar system, but this researcher is reluctant to conduct further study on the matter.

[ElfLad]

Ladies and Gentlemen, the WORST! BAND! EVER!

Seriously, an elf drummer? Not rock.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Ladies and Gentlemen, the WORST! BAND! EVER!

Seriously, an elf drummer? Not rock.

You know, Mookie never said what kind of band Donovan used to be in. So far we have a bard playing guitar, a highly-effeminate elf on drums, and the-man-with-the-worst-nickname-ever on bass.

I'm seeing J-Rock, personally - possibly very similar to this one.

Also: what, no magic Keytar?

[High-Chancellor]

Elf drummers are the best drummers.

I mean... humans are just boring, and the piggarts can just hit things hard and count to four.

[ElfLad]

Elf drummers are the best drummers.

I mean... humans are just boring, and the piggarts can just hit things hard and count to four.

This is wrong. Go sit in the corner and listen to some Who and Rush.

And don't come back until you know what real drumming is.

[Ganurath]

This is wrong. Go sit in the corner and listen to some Who and Rush.

And don't come back until you know what real drumming is.

Counting with your entire body. Somebody give Hanners from QC a call, we need to find out what fantasy race she is.

[High-Chancellor]

Hanners is obviously an elf. Duh.

Neil Peart is also an elf. And Kenney Jones is just an exception to the rule.


PS: Magical Keytars are excellently ftw, dude.

[Johnny Blade]

Also: Virgil Donati.

And what about Jazz drummers? I mean, since green is the new black, most of them would be Orcs, wouldn't they?


Anyway: This update may be a crappy "filler doodle", but I still think the revelation that "Trumpet" doesn't play the trumpet is the best twist in a long time, possibly ever.

[Thayus]

I've got to wonder how many more "This woman is really f**ked up and only Dommie Stu can save her!" storylines we're going to get before Mookie starts to get over the fact that his ex pretty much got as far away from him as she possibly could.

-Thayus

[Zencao]

I've got to wonder how many more "This woman is really f**ked up and only Dommie Stu can save her!" storylines we're going to get before Mookie starts to get over the fact that his ex pretty much got as far away from him as she possibly could.

-Thayus

Can someone tell me what newspost's the ex-drama started? I wanna read up on this...

[Arakune]

I've got to wonder how many more "This woman is really f**ked up and only Dommie Stu can save her!" storylines we're going to get before Mookie starts to get over the fact that his ex pretty much got as far away from him as she possibly could.

-Thayus

+Infinity

Can someone tell me what newspost's the ex-drama started? I wanna read up on this...

Seconded.

[Johnny Blade]

Can someone tell me what newspost's the ex-drama started? I wanna read up on this...

I don't know exactly, but I think it was shorty before or in the beginning of Snowsong.
But I'm sure it was, unsurprisingly, some time before her emotional breakdown in the arms of Dominic.

[sihnfahl]

Can someone tell me what newspost's the ex-drama started? I wanna read up on this...

It starts here. June 8. He finally announces his ladyfriend found a new job - WELL away from him. He didn't want to go with her, so ... she left.

[Morty]

Darn it, I risk my very soul and sanity by looking through Sonwsong arc and someone beats me to it. But I wouldn't be so hasty to attribute all "weak women" in the strip to the breakup. I know Terraciano's a terrible writer, but give him some credit.

[Winterwind]

Anyway: This update may be a crappy "filler doodle", but I still think the revelation that "Trumpet" doesn't play the trumpet is the best twist in a long time, possibly ever.

The best thing altogether that Mookie presented to us in a long time, even, I would say.
Sadly, then I started thinking about how long it's been that the comic contained something that was better than the simple revelation that some irrelevant guy with a stupid nickname doesn't do what his nickname seems to imply, and the realization that it's been probably months just makes this seem all the more pathetic.

[Oracle_Hunter]

Darn it, I risk my very soul and sanity by looking through Sonwsong arc and someone beats me to it. But I wouldn't be so hasty to attribute all "weak women" in the strip to the breakup. I know Terraciano's a terrible writer, but give him some credit.

Particularly since the original weak woman - Luna - existed before this particular lady-friend actually entered his life (or so I believe; I'm not actually a certified Mookie-Stalker).

EDIT:
Through the magic of TV Tropes, Hyperlinks, and YouTube, I located this fantastic music video from 1983. It's not at all relevant, but I am compelled to share it.

Plus, it constitutes the Ultimate Godwin.

[Nerd-o-rama]

I don't dare follow that link at work, but is it Mel Brooks's Hitler Rap? Because that is really the ultimate Godwin.

[Khosan]

Plus, it constitutes the Ultimate Godwin.

I love Mel Brooks.

[Thayus]

Darn it, I risk my very soul and sanity by looking through Sonwsong arc and someone beats me to it. But I wouldn't be so hasty to attribute all "weak women" in the strip to the breakup. I know Terraciano's a terrible writer, but give him some credit.

I'm not attributing all, by any means. But I do think that the last three storylines have all focused on weak women who need Dommie Stu to save them precisely because of the breakup.

Note that we don't know the details of the breakup beyond what Mookie's told us. She found a job elsewhere, he didn't go with her. But we also know that the breakup hit him hard. And we know how disturbing Mookie-logic is.

Was Mookie dumped for, in essence, being a creepy death-fetished mysogynistic neo-hippie who can't understand how creepy he is? I dunno. (That he's a creepy death-fetished mysogynistic neo-hippie is, of course, hard to deny.) I would have said "plausible" before, but the focus of the storylines has me thinking about changing that to "probable".

-Thayus

[Johnny Blade]

The best thing altogether that Mookie presented to us in a long time, even, I would say.
Sadly, then I started thinking about how long it's been that the comic contained something that was better than the simple revelation that some irrelevant guy with a stupid nickname doesn't do what his nickname seems to imply, and the realization that it's been probably months just makes this seem all the more pathetic.

Come to think of it, it's also one of the funnier recent strips.
I mean, what do you think a singer nicknamed Trumpet sounds like?

Also, did anyone read the newspost today? Seems like he'll skip the Sunday Splash Page.
Yet I remain confident that there will be an Ass Shot.

Oh, he also wrote that this band sounded a lot like Procul Harum in his imagination. Now, I'm not exactly a fan of them, but I still find that fairly impressive, seeing how Donovan writes lyrics that make Dragonforce sound sophisticated and subtle these days.



Maybe that Elf drummer deserves more credit than...eh, forget it.

[sihnfahl]

Particularly since the original weak woman - Luna - existed before this particular lady-friend actually entered his life (or so I believe; I'm not actually a certified Mookie-Stalker).

According to the mid-2007 post I pointed to, he was with his lady-friend for almost four years.

That puts him hooking up with her in mid-late 2003. (Visions of Doom arc)
The first strip is in early '02.

[Turcano]

Was Mookie dumped for, in essence, being a creepy death-fetished mysogynistic neo-hippie who can't understand how creepy he is? I dunno. (That he's a creepy death-fetished mysogynistic neo-hippie is, of course, hard to deny.) I would have said "plausible" before, but the focus of the storylines has me thinking about changing that to "probable".

My favorite theory is that she got sick of wearing the bottom half of the vampire fangs.

[Oracle_Hunter]

My favorite theory is that she got sick of wearing the bottom half of the vampire fangs.

...so...creepy...

I don't dare follow that link at work, but is it Mel Brooks's Hitler Rap? Because that is really the ultimate Godwin.

Am I the only person who didn't know that existed? You're right, of course, but...

[Khosan]

I didn't know about it.

I just love Mel Brooks.