Kicked in the Groin (and you're to blame)

[MountainKing]

After a long developmental period involving a lot of physical pain and abuse (childhood fights/beatdowns at the hands of bullies, playing football and soccer, being in high school theatre with my friend Stephen, and at one point, getting hit by a truck in the school parking lot), taking a blow to the jewels doesn't so much bother me as make me angry, depending on the circumstances. It also probably doesn't hurt that I'm some kind of freak who likes to get hurt, but hey, you win some and you lose some.

My advice to you comes straight from the sage words of Austin Powers: "You don't give a man a shot to the pills, it's just not right!"

[Don Beegles]

I haven't been kicked in the groin recently. The last time I played Frisbee, I got hit a few times, mostly on accident by defenders who were trying to bat me away and accidentally hit me. None of them were good shots, so I was mostly fine afterwards, except on the last fall I did, where I tried so hard to dive for a frisbee that I completely laid myself out and everything between my nose and my knees hit the ground at the same time. I couldn't move at much more than a slow waddle for hours after that.

The last time before that was last summer. My little brother had a habit of trying to hit to watch me flinch, and once when we were playing manhunt, he lobbed a tennisball and hit me in the thigh. I told him to stop trying because he never hit me, and he went off to hide. Then, between rounds, as we were standing around, a raquetball came out of nowhere and nailed me. I just collapsed and then tried to chase him, but couldn't move fast enough, so I just went to bed and tried to sleep.

Of course, I've been guilty a few times, but I never hit the guy hard. The last time was another time playing frisbee, me and the other captain were doing "Rock, paper, Scissors" to see who picked first, and he kept doing stupid things like "Jesus" and "God" which "automatically win". Finally, I told him to just do it one more time for real and when we said three I just lashed out real quick and tapped him in the righty. He collapsed and I picked first, but had to watch out the rest of the game.

[phoenixineohp]

Surprisingly few females posting responses here so far.

Yes, I have kicked guys in the groin before. But they deserved it and it was a last resort. Spending years at a school where you are hunted down and bullied by guys, unable to land effective defensive, can lead to a realization. If they come after you and you land one kick, they won't hurt you again. If they understand that attacking me directly leads to that amount of mind shaking pain, they leave me alone. Then I'm safe and we can move on.

That being said, obviously it was an extreme case and I haven't had to kick anyone for years and years.

I do use a joke with my friends whenever someone gets highly offensive and goes off on what a woman should be like or should do. It's called righteous sacking. If you have such opinions about how a woman should be, we'll show you what it's like to be one. Of course we have never had to actually sack a person. Usually they get the strong point with the dose of humor.

As for us not understanding the pain... ha. I certainly think we do and I am still not convinced that males understand the pain women go through, like cramps. Those are like putting yourself into a vice grip and tightening it, then trying to walk around all day, living a normal life, and not let anyone figure out or notice what is happening. Honestly. The urge to rip out internal organs or to stab yourself in a stomach in some vague hope that will ease the pain, experiencing that monthly... At least the pain from being sacked eases quickly.

They may just laugh at the absurdity of the weak link in the defense. Some women can try their hardest and have no impact on a guy's arm or chest. Then a little tap can send him crying. It's amazing and when in a dangerous situation, a relief at not being totally useless. Women fight dirty because it gets results.

I'm not and was not evil. Just trying to use anything I could to my advantage in a bad situation.

[Brickwall]

As for us not understanding the pain... ha. I certainly think we do and I am still not convinced that males understand the pain women go through, like cramps. Those are like putting yourself into a vice grip and tightening it, then trying to walk around all day, living a normal life, and not let anyone figure out or notice what is happening. Honestly. The urge to rip out internal organs or to stab yourself in a stomach in some vague hope that will ease the pain, experiencing that monthly... At least the pain from being sacked eases quickly.

As an astute observer of womanly functions, I can tell you that women experience periods of widely varying intensity. I have heard more than a few say they barely have cramps at all. Don't think that all women feel your pain. They don't.

Of course, there's no way I can argue that sack shots are worse than pregnancy. It's not true.

[phoenixineohp]

I know that not all of them feel like that, and I know that I don't have the worst. Thankfully mine is rather mild, but still can come up like that. After talking with some other females, that's how we have decided to describe it. One of my friends was bedridden each starting day due to the pain. Luckily, with medication, she can now tolerate it much better.

[Brickwall]

See, this is why men suspect women of forming secret cabals deciding just how they should abuse us. Because, as you just said, it's apparently true to at least some extent.

[ForzaFiori]

I am willing to bet that of the people here, I, at my young age of 15, have actually had the most experiance with groin shots. "why" you ask? b/c i am currently in highschool, that is why. Each year, the average high school guy takes 5-15 groin shots, depending on his level of popularity and annoyingness. i think i had like 8 last year. And then you add in the ones from soccer, and karate, and you reach close to 20 a year. painful. Also, i have to admit, when someone else gets hit, i will laugh. i will ask them if they're ok also, but i'll laugh. b/c i know they'd do the exact same thing if it was me that got hit.

And, since others are telling stories on themselves, i'm gonna tell one on a friend. We were at soccer practice, and were practicing corner kicks. My friend is guarding the front post, and our coach manages to get the ball and shoots. The guy goes to block it, and takes a soccer ball going extremely fast to the groin. He couldn't move for 15 minutes, then manged to crawl off the field, where he laid there for another like 30 minutes. The next day at school, he was STILL walking funny.

[Sewer_Bandito]

Getting punched in the breast hurts nowhere near as much as a groin kick. I have some friends who are girls that like to play the breast punching game, and usually when they get hit, they just laugh and hit back. I've never seen a girl doubled over in pain over a breast punch, whereas a guy can be immobilized for a few minutes.

[Midnight Son]

I guess I brought that high school average down. I had an uncanny knack of being able to turn just at the last moment and only ending up with a hip shot. I think I may have had one nadshot my entire high school experience, though I did have quite a few more attempts made.

Then there was the time I was running home. There was a small footbridge we used to cross the ditch behind our house. It was winter and, being Alaska, the bridge was quite icy. So I start to run across it and my foot slips on the second step. As one foot slips off one side, the other goes off the other side. I have no idea how this happened, but I ended up on the other side of the bridge in a crouched position. Since then, whenever I'm asked if I believe in miracles, the answer is a resounding, "Yes!"

[Leper_Kahn]

A lot of people have mentioned LARP incidents before so I'd thought I'd add something. There's a sadistic kid named Ti who shows up occasionally to some LARPS I do. He's famous for his signature "Ti Shot."

The start of the Ti Shot:
So a friend of mine was stumped. (As in lacking his arms and legs in the game.) He was rather important so me and a few other people were guarding him until a healer could come over and patch him up. So I was distracted by another player trying to kill our protectee. Now my friend was open to anything. I saw it happen... The kid looks straight at my friend and gets that signature sadistic gleam in his eyes. He started running from about 50 yards away and got to his top speed. He held out his sword to hit my friend which would kill him. He keeps running and the sword swings up at the last minute RIGHT into my friends groin. Now I've never seen him cry, but he just stars rolling around on the ground screaming. The kid didn't even stop running. He just laughed the whole time... Some people piss me off.

[FoE]

My friends like this joke and use it often.

GUY A: "Hey, uh, what's the capital of Thailand?"

GUY B: "I don't know."

GUY A: "BANGKOK!" (followed by a nutshot)

My experience is that when women deliver a kick to the family jewels, either the guy deserved it or they're defending themselves. But even if a woman nut-shotted me out of malice, I still wouldn't consider hitting her back. Hitting women is inexcusable in all instances except if said women are literally trying to kill or maim you.

I've been groin-punched a few times by other guys, though the worst injury I've ever suffered came in Grade 7 or 8, when my classmates were playing baseball. I was on third base, and this jerk named Trent stepped up to the plate. He hit a line drive straight into my balls. In tremendous pain, I nevertheless was able to stagger into the school so I could throw up in the bathroom, while my classmates all laughed their heads off.

Bastards. Whenever I feel bad about setting that fire at the grad dance that killed them all, I just remember that incident.

OH CRAP! I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO MENTION THAT PART!

With all this talk about painful nutshots, I'll point out that some men get sexual satisfaction from getting punched in the balls by women. It's an S&M thing. I don't really understand the allure of it, but then again, most people don't understand my fetish of wearing a giant teddy bear costume during sex either.

[Were-Sandwich]

My experience is that when women deliver a kick to the family jewels, either the guy deserved it or they're defending themselves. But even if a woman nut-shotted me out of malice, I still wouldn't consider hitting her back. Hitting women is inexcusable in all instances except if said women are literally trying to kill or maim you.

Um. Why? Why is it worse than hitting a man?

[The Great Skenardo]

See: "Is Chivalry Dead?"

But for gods sake, don't post in it.

[Arameus]

When it comes to corporal retaliation, ladies are off-limits. Ladies. Not females.

But if she's hitting you hard and often enough to incite retaliation, she's no lady. So, figure it like this: if your punch is ten times more powerful than hers, wait for her to hit you in earnest ten times. Then whack her a single good one to the forehead and you're equal.

Gender equality sucks sometimes, doesn't it?

Women take such pleasure in nut shots not because they don't comprehend the profundity of the damage, but because they do. They know that there is no effective reply to such a ghastly maneuver, and even if there was actual retaliation would be unjustifiable in the eyes of most. This position of unassailable safety is what brings out the childish sadism.

But although the pains are understood, the full implication of having the appendage is not. It's something that really just sits constantly in the very back of your mind: any time you turn around, you could run into a table corner or collide with someone carrying a sharp object.Any little thing can potentially ruin your day and your posture. What's worse, the greater your gift, the more danger you're in. In my case, I have to be particularly careful when... sitting down... *shudder*

With great balls comes great responsibility.

[Brickwall]

When it comes to corporal retaliation, ladies are off-limits. Ladies. Not females.

But if she's hitting you hard and often enough to incite retaliation, she's no lady. So, figure it like this: if your punch is ten times more powerful than hers, wait for her to hit you in earnest ten times. Then whack her a single good one to the forehead and you're equal.

Of course, this is silly. You don't wait until you're damaged to fight. If I waited for a man (or, perhaps to be more fair, a "lady") to fire a gun before I fired mine "to be equal", I'd be dead in short order. If she even throws a punch, she's lost any and all rights to peaceful interaction (though, at least in the US, you have to wait for her to actually land a damaging shot before you don't get your butt sued off, same as with any plea of self-defense). Hell, I'd be readying for a fight if she even gave a subtle threat. It's your attitude that gets guys kicked in the balls in the first place: overconfidence. Just because men are a little bit stronger than women on average does not mean that women do not have fighting ability or potential.

Also, maybe you should get that treated? Sitting down shouldn't be dangerous.

[Arameus]

I agree, but this about hitting, not firearms. That's a separate kettle of fish and I don't think anyone disagrees about it.

What makes it complicated is that a woman will immediately stop (almost always) after any physical reply, deserved or otherwise, because they don't expect it. If they did, they wouldn't hit in the first place. If i hit another guy, I would initiate a fight and probably be mauled viciously, so I don't. It's not the same for women since they think they deserve a free pass for some reason. But if you retaliate with an attack that is by default ten times more powerful than what incited it, there's no way you can justify yourself since she's not going to dish out anymore and you've essentially overreacted very badly. That's why you've got to wait for an even, warranted reckoning.

I've only hit a female once, a single shot in the forehead. She had hit me in the face as hard as she could with a Webster's Dictionary. She got off scot-free, I got in big, big trouble even though my face was bruised up pretty badly. Yeah, that's fair.

[Brickwall]

What makes it complicated is that a woman will immediately stop (almost always) after any physical reply, deserved or otherwise, because they don't expect it. If they did, they wouldn't hit in the first place. If i hit another guy, I would initiate a fight and probably be mauled viciously, so I don't. It's not the same for women since they think they deserve a free pass for some reason. But if you retaliate with an attack that is by default ten times more powerful than what incited it, there's no way you can justify yourself since she's not going to dish out anymore and you've essentially overreacted very badly. That's why you've got to wait for an even, warranted reckoning.

You know, there's something called control. Control is what people use to not overreact. I generally go for attacks that can be controlled well. Twisting captured limbs is effective, and it doesn't leave any mark whatsoever. And if they kick, you don't even have to do that. Just incapacitate them by holding their leg a fair bit above waist level, and they're done.

I've only hit a female once, a single shot in the forehead. She had hit me in the face as hard as she could with a Webster's Dictionary. She got off scot-free, I got in big, big trouble even though my face was bruised up pretty badly. Yeah, that's fair.

That's just an example of one of my earlier points. Women DO get away with violent stuff because they're women. Thank you for proving that.

[FoE]

Um. Why? Why is it worse than hitting a man?

You don't hit women. You just don't.

I don't understand why people seem to have a compulsive need to attach a bunch of conditions to that rule. "Well, what if this girl is stronger than I am, or she's trained in martial arts, or she has a gun to the head of my first-born son, or she's trying to kill the President, or she's coming at me with a chainsaw, or a crowbar, or a loaded rifle, or a frying pan, or a bottle of acid, or a syringe filled with cyanide, or a particularly pointy stick, or …"

Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. That's self-defence/preventing harm to others. That's a whole other ball of wax. All this bullcrap goes without saying.

So why is it worse? Because it's goddam dishonorable and it's wrong. I don't give a flying **** about gender equality when it comes to violence against women. However justified you may think it is to strike a woman, it's not.

[Fax Celestis]

I have a friend who has both given birth and had kidney stones. She says that kidney stones are far far worse.

My father says that getting kicked in the balls is more painful--albeit over a shorter period of time--than having a kidney stone.

Therefore...

[Wraithy]

self defence tips for the untrained

Spoiler

Show

people are surprisingly easy to read, they start to shift their position when they prepare for a groin shot, people usually prepare for a second or two before they make the hit, whether to build up strength or prepare for retaliation (usually feamale and male in that order, exeptions allways exist).
if you've done anything to provoke the person it is even easier to forsee a nutshot, but not alot easier to dodge. there is still a very small amount of warning time, not enough to dodge in y experience, but enough to block.
then come the other problems: "who started it".
if you see someone preparing to nutshot you and hit them before they act, you'll be blamed, and quite rightly so, because there is allways a chance that you misread the signals, and you should never start a fight on unsound assumptions (I personally believe you should never start a fight. period.)
when they start the shot, shift your hips to one side so that your legs grant concealment for a 20% miss chance, actually its more like total cover but that's not the point. here you have 2 choices (and think quick that shot is halfway there).
choice 1 - full block: basically use both arms to block and catch the person's offending limb. for a puch deflect their fist outward with your forearm and grab their upper arm with your free arm and pull them towards you, if you tilt yourself properly your grab should overbalance them. for a kick shoot your hands downwards so that your forearms cover your groin and your hands are open so that you can catch the leg, thanks to the tilt of your hips you have an open side to fling the limb or lift diagonally upwards to make them fall over comically.
choice 2 - block and strike: your arm opposite your forward leg should come down to block your groin and your other arm should come back in a fist to your ribcage, this means that after they leave themselves open from their strike you can hit their newly unveiled areas and do a good deal of damage depending on where you hit.

choice 1 is best used against a nutshot from someone who doesn't expect retaliation, anyone nearby can tell that you were not the agressor, and most of the time the agressor will back down and be embarassed, total victory without a fight.
choice 2 is best used against someone who wants a first hit advantage in a fight, by using it you can try to run away while they reel from your hit (the solarplexis is a good place to hit). if the person wants to fight you then the best thing you can do is run, in unarmed combat there is very little to be lost from running except pride, which isn't a thick enough to shield a nutshot (unless in fact you have 30 charisma, but in that case people probably wouldn't attack you in the first place)

[skywalker]

You don't hit women. You just don't.

I don't understand why people seem to have a compulsive need to attach a bunch of conditions to that rule. "Well, what if this girl is stronger than I am, or she's trained in martial arts, or she has a gun to the head of my first-born son, or she's trying to kill the President, or she's coming at me with a chainsaw, or a crowbar, or a loaded rifle, or a frying pan, or a bottle of acid, or a syringe filled with cyanide, or a particularly pointy stick, or …"

Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. That's self-defence/preventing harm to others. That's a whole other ball of wax. All this bullcrap goes without saying.

Why is it worse? Because it's goddam dishonorable and it's wrong. I don't give a flying **** about gender equality when it comes to violence against women. However justified you may think it is to strike a woman, it's not.

You mentioned maiming in your first post. Don't you feel like the inability to naturally have children for the rest of your life would qualify as "maimed?" I do. Any groin attack has the serious potential to ruin a male's ability to procreate. Therefore, it is grounds for immediate self-defense.

And,
Fax FTW!

[Fax Celestis]

And,
Fax FTW!

Hey, just passin' on the info I've got, y'know?

I'm personally not looking forward to my later years. Kidney failure and kidney stones both run in my family, and so I've been trying to take as good care of them as I can: pomegranate juice, cranberry juice, no extended alcoholic binges, etc.

[skywalker]

Hey, just passin' on the info I've got, y'know?

I'm personally not looking forward to my later years. Kidney failure and kidney stones both run in my family, and so I've been trying to take as good care of them as I can: pomegranate juice, cranberry juice, no extended alcoholic binges, etc.

Very, very intelligent. Keep that health healthy. I myself am quite the juice connoisseur. But this is another topic for another thread.

[Brickwall]

I have a friend who has both given birth and had kidney stones. She says that kidney stones are far far worse.

My father says that getting kicked in the balls is more painful--albeit over a shorter period of time--than having a kidney stone.

Therefore...

It's not a perfect conclusion: the female urethra (the tubing) is 1/3 as big as the male, thus, three times the pain (maybe). Still, it's food for thought.

[Gaelbert]

Funny this thread popped up, this has happened twice in the last two days with a soccer ball for me. (Thankfully not too hard.) I've never actually been kicked maliciously there. If I'm just messing around with someone, and a kick goes to that general area, I grab their leg and hold it. That's when the fun starts.
But if someone was trying to hurt me, no matter who it is, my first reaction would be to dodge, followed by a punch to the stomach. Then I would try to leave.
My friends girlfriend was wondering why her boyfriend went down from a kick to the groin. He's pretty muscular and doesn't get hurt often. I tried to compare the pain to getting hit in the nose and stomach and an awful almost popping feeling, followed by more pain, but it just doesn't do justice.

[Grey Paladin]

You don't hit women. You just don't.

I don't understand why people seem to have a compulsive need to attach a bunch of conditions to that rule. "Well, what if this girl is stronger than I am, or she's trained in martial arts, or she has a gun to the head of my first-born son, or she's trying to kill the President, or she's coming at me with a chainsaw, or a crowbar, or a loaded rifle, or a frying pan, or a bottle of acid, or a syringe filled with cyanide, or a particularly pointy stick, or …"

Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. That's self-defence/preventing harm to others. That's a whole other ball of wax. All this bullcrap goes without saying.

Why is it worse? Because it's goddam dishonorable and it's wrong. I don't give a flying **** about gender equality when it comes to violence against women. However justified you may think it is to strike a woman, it's not.

By saying violence against woman is wrong you are, in other words, claiming woman are inferior to man and thus should have more rights to protect them.

I am a feminist, I believe in equal rights, if a woman does the same job a man does, pay her the same amount, if a woman wishes to be a soldier, a football player, or a president, let her.

If a woman attempts to attack a man, she should expect a counter attack, she shouldn't expect having doors opened for her or have her mate pay for the dinner.

[Em Blackleaf]

...If a woman attempts to attack a man, she should expect a counter attack, she shouldn't expect having doors opened for her or have her mate pay for the dinner.

In other words, sometimes equal rights is a negative for females.

But seriously, I agree, if someone attacks you, you should fight back, no matter what gender.

[Logic]

By saying violence against woman is wrong you are, in other words, claiming woman are inferior to man and thus should have more rights to protect them.

I am a feminist, I believe in equal rights, if a woman does the same job a man does, pay her the same amount, if a woman wishes to be a soldier, a football player, or a president, let her.

If a woman attempts to attack a man, she should expect a counter attack, she shouldn't expect having doors opened for her or have her mate pay for the dinner.

Thank you. Fewer and fewer feminists seem to want equality, but instead superiority. I am glad you do not fall into the "militant feminst" generalization.

On the subject of men vs women, my grandfather said my views best. If a woman has the balls to attack* me, then I've got the breasts to hit her back.

*He originally said "hit" I say "attack" because I feel it has a far different defintion.

[FoE]

By saying violence against woman is wrong you are, in other words, claiming woman are inferior to man and thus should have more rights to protect them.

Whatever. I believe women have the same rights as men. My statement isn't based on gender equality, it's based on a personal code of honour.

[Saithis Bladewing]

You don't hit women. You just don't.

I don't understand why people seem to have a compulsive need to attach a bunch of conditions to that rule. "Well, what if this girl is stronger than I am, or she's trained in martial arts, or she has a gun to the head of my first-born son, or she's trying to kill the President, or she's coming at me with a chainsaw, or a crowbar, or a loaded rifle, or a frying pan, or a bottle of acid, or a syringe filled with cyanide, or a particularly pointy stick, or …"

Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. That's self-defence/preventing harm to others. That's a whole other ball of wax. All this bullcrap goes without saying.

Why is it worse? Because it's goddam dishonorable and it's wrong. I don't give a flying **** about gender equality when it comes to violence against women. However justified you may think it is to strike a woman, it's not.

You probably cannot kill me with your bare hands. I can probably kill you with my bare hands. I dare you to say that it is justified for me to hit you, but not for you to hit me. It is dishonourable for anyone to hit anyone, gender aside. Attaching gender to equations is just a pointless waste of time that sparks these debates and feelings in the first place.

But I digress. I don't think a nutshot wouldn't be painful, and I think most women are perfectly aware that it causes a crippling amount of pain. Let's face it, most girls out there are probably just sadists.