Kenku Word Library

[Cardea]

So tonight I'm going to start roleplaying a Kenku Fighter, who has the Mercenary Veteran background, who is part of the Zhentarim. He's friendly, generally upbeat, and has a diary filled with entries from other mercenaries and adventurers he's been with, who have written in the Journal as a way to help him out.

What I'd love to ask of any of you who read this, is to give me any/all quotes you remember from your games. They can be from you or from another player, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that they would only make sense if you were there. Non-sequitur lines, answers to specific questions, or general exclamations made more absurd when there isn't context behind it. They're going to be refluffed as being part of this Journal, which is filled with these, and I'll be using them as a sort of library for my Fighter.

Thanks in advance if you're able to help a bird boy out.

[Tawmis]

"That's no moon."

No, wait, that wasn't my character:

So I can share some from characters from a recent DM session I did:

- Looks like we're the only survivors.

- Scout ahead in the jungle. Come back if you see anything.

- Tell us who is inside the temple, and you will be spared.

- Look at these maps. What are the five points around the island?

[Grear Bylls]

So tonight I'm going to start roleplaying a Kenku Fighter, who has the Mercenary Veteran background, who is part of the Zhentarim. He's friendly, generally upbeat, and has a diary filled with entries from other mercenaries and adventurers he's been with, who have written in the Journal as a way to help him out.

What I'd love to ask of any of you who read this, is to give me any/all quotes you remember from your games. They can be from you or from another player, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that they would only make sense if you were there. Non-sequitur lines, answers to specific questions, or general exclamations made more absurd when there isn't context behind it. They're going to be refluffed as being part of this Journal, which is filled with these, and I'll be using them as a sort of library for my Fighter.

Thanks in advance if you're able to help a bird boy out.

“I actively shield with my meat” - the words of the parties unarmored meat shield barbarian

[intregus]

I will get a bunch more and update this post.

"Groddknack hold, Groggknack punch!"

"Groddknack know how open door"

In a thick Russian accent a song that's sung just like the, olééé, olé, olé, olé song that is sung at almost every soccer game only its "oliiiik, olik, olik, olie"

Also in thick Russian accent, "I'm good guy"

"Let's start our own cult, The Gusty Holders"

"Did you just punt a zorbo"

[Sindal]

"Why is it ALWAYS twisted carnivals. Why can't there just be nice, normal carnivals where the clowns don't want to kill us" in an arabian male voice

"You'll understand when your older" In the voice of a hauty female elf

"Your a goblin. I don't need a reason to chop you up" In the voice of a large masculine dragonborn

"Rumble Rumble, Crash and tumble" In the voice of a pissed off female tabaxi

[Xihirli]

I’ve met dozens of good goblins!
Really?
Ok, four.
Are you counting yourself?
Two.

Everyone is the worst person they’ll ever meet when they are 12.

I am pretty slug-like. Oh, wait, “vicious”. Yes.

You saw me bleed a demon!

Hey, remember that time I was like “we should run” and you were like “nah” and then I died?

Remember what Helm said: use protection.

“I’ve eaten goblins bigger than you!”
"So have I!"

He’ll be fine, nobody ever died in a siege.

Every party needs a pooper and that’s why you invited me.

If you start a war and you don’t know about the war, then you’re going to lose.

You can leave the library I think. come back when you're stable.

Well... I've got to arrange a welcome home party for Sheep -Sheep.

Is his name fluffy?

No, it was Sheep-Sheep.

Smell you later!
Not if I smell you first!

My dying is already spared!

I imagined a lot of good advice she gave me.

She told me something I’ll never forget, “get out of my grove’ and I left.

Wimp! Pick that weapon back up and kill my friends!

Running out of you-juice aren’tcha?

Witchbrain is back, and ready to attack!
Don’t call me a liar, I’ll hit you with fire!
You attack when you should have fleed, for you see Witchbrain cannot bleed!
Centaur beware, you’re in for a scare!
I’m a witch and I have a broom, flying over you, I’ll be your doom!
-Witchbrain

I have just been tortured by a goblin god, get the **** over yourself!

Look at you, you’re not a loser, you’ve got weird hair!

I know my mother doesn’t love me but maybe if I pretend hard enough, she’ll start?

I would redden my scales for you.

Transmutation is only for good people, everyone knows that.

I’m going to slap you over the head with Magehand if you don’t!

You love demons!

Alright, let me grab you with my feet.
If I had a silver for every time I heard that… I’d have like 8 silver.

Fools, this isn’t even the final floor!

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the incredibly good ideas I’m acting upon!

I make all my command words “Matilda”.

Please don’t ride me. I don’t know you.

Oh no, I’m afraid!

You got more giants? I ran out of giants.

Ask a demon, they’re nice.

I’m going to sing you the song of my church. *guttural noises*

Anyway, kill ya later!

I have a game too, it’s where we skin animals to see what organs we can get.

Humans live like 20 minutes.

This is just Wednesday in Goblin childhood.

There’s a trail of my blood in the sewer you can follow.

I’m going to sleep off all of my internal bleeding.

I had SO much chocolate milk.

"This comes from a magic rabbit."
"This is horrifying!"

Let me tell you one thing… This wasn’t how I thought this was going to go.

Guys, it’s time to… Wow, we don’t have any quests, do we?

I’m going to stay here and practice my magehand.

He’s going to be imprisoned for life.
Wow, that’s like 5 whole years.

"He can't hurt me, I have diplomatic immunity!"
"That’s not what that means!"

"It’s one gold piece."
"How about one gold... and a silver?"
"You drive a hard bargain."

I don’t want to walk into the infirmary and get shot.

As they say, multiple birds, big stone.

What,him? He’s not a pet; he’s just a coward.

Excuse me, ms. Angel-eyes.

Are you asking me for… services?

Never tell a witch your middle name.

"You can’t brew in the middle of a courtyard!"
"That sounds like a limit of YOUR imagination."

They don’t call me a ‘gazer’ for nothing.

Doesn’t matter what their names are after we take their organs.

You can’t steal from a dead body.

My bad kneecap is now my worse kneecap!

Pinkie swear.
Is this a hag thing?

No, I have respect for you. Not much for myself, though.

[Sahe]

"You'll find this Bug ain't squashed so easily."

"If you keep bugging me, I'll get angry...and you won't like me when I'm angry."

"You suck so much Vampire's are taking lessons from you."

"Little Kenkus cannot fly, Little Kenkus cannot fly." (annoying sing/song voice)

"It ain't tastin' worse than me." (with a wink)

"Not bad for rat, eh? Now imagine what I could do with some real meat!"

"Is it still stealing when I light him on fire first?"

"Look I made a MINI-SUN!"

"No I'm not sleeping, but I wish I was and my eyes are tired...so I'm using Gobbet's."

"They stole our church!"

"I have a complicated relationship with my mirror image."

"I speak no less than 7 languages, yet I can't find a word in one of them properly expresses my disgust."

"Fireball on that window! Don't worry about me, I can take it!"

"LIGHTNING BOLT!" a sound wave of destructive energy erupts from her hands "errr Thunderbolt I mean...makes sense I guess? First lightning...then thunder."

"But now! Lightning Bolt again!" a stream of acid erupts from her hands "ok...wait...what? I think my spell is broken."

[Ganymede]

If you're going to be *that guy*, why not do it in a way that would be relatable and fun for your fellow players?

The easy way is to pick some television franchise your group really loves and speak in quotes from it. The Office is easy as any situation, whether fantastic or mundane, can be translated into a quote from that show.

[Cardea]

If you're going to be *that guy*, why not do it in a way that would be relatable and fun for your fellow players?

The easy way is to pick some television franchise your group really loves and speak in quotes from it. The Office is easy as any situation, whether fantastic or mundane, can be translated into a quote from that show.

Calling me a that guy hurts my feelings, not gonna lie.

But callbacks or references like that work if everyone is familiar or watches the same shows, which none of us really do. Only myself and one other person watched The Office, and even then we didn't get each other's references to the show. Likewise, two other people in the group have a huge thing for Supernatural, but whenever they talk about it it goes right over the rest of our heads. It spreads over to comics, games, movies, YouTube videos, etc.. I'd rather start of with a hodge podge of odd and nonsensical phrases that I can use to help ground my character while gathering things that they say to repeat later on to give the same treatment.

[sithlordnergal]

I have a Zhent Kenku in the Dragon Heist game I am playing in. So far his most used sentence has been "Xanathar sends his regards", and there's a rumor the Xanathar is not happy about it

[MagneticKitty]

There's a bomb in the sewer below the town square and an elf above ground is trying to dispel a riot who's loud voices might set the bomb off any moment. He retreats to talk to his ally, and the party's rogue approaches from the shaddows.
"I'm so glad to see you, we need to get everyone out." - tired political middle aged half elf bard.
"I Have the king' s head" - young female kobold rogue/ranger returning from what the elf assumed was a failed assassination.
"What?! No you don't. I was just there, I just saw him."
"It's in my bag.."
"No it's not."
"Do you.. wanna see it?"

[dragoeniex]

"Is that a mammal thing?"
-
"Hmph. And can the gnome 'invent' himself a conscience?"
-
"We're the ones who killed you!"
-
"If you try anything- if you say anything that isn't an answer, I will remove your magic. Are we clear on how I'm going to do that?"
-
"You have a broom, idiot. Use it!"
-
"What do you mean you 'don't have a library?' How are you even a town?"




A sampling from all the current party members, minus our ranger's wolf. Though a couple of snarls and happy panting sounds would probably be a fun addition.

[the_brazenburn]

Some quotes from this thread: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...vor+brazenburn

"Get to the trees!"
"No, no, she was bitten by a wombat."
"I would like to buy a toy guillotine."
"Don't worry, there's a nifty little spell I know for just this scenario... FIREBALL!!!"
"No, I had to retreat. There were old ladies!"
"Thokk handle the gamma wolf. You run!"
"Was it east or west? Wait, west was the meat grinder. GO EAST NOT WEST!"
"Can I borrow your children please?"
"GRAAKK..."
"We will avenge Little Piccolo!"
"Bye bye ha ha ha ha!"
"THE RED THROATS ARE COMING!"
"The flowers are poisonous?"
"I want to sell my soul for cool powers!"
"It's Drako Sonofabitch!"

From http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showt...lantis-Debacle

"Let's search the orc's room first."
"No, not Great Aunt Matilda! Please have mercy!"
"The egg exploded!"
"It's invisible ink! I know how this works."
"Oh ****... you can cast Control Weather."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures! I throw a bean into the portal."

"One day, deep down in hell
I spied a sight that was fell
It was the backside of the devil lord
It was the same color as a dragon's hoard
Asmodeus's Golden Arse: It's exactly as I've told
Asmodeus's Golden Arse: It's made from solid gold"

"Want to buy a layer of hell?"
"We all live in a Gnomish submarine..."
"Let's sacrifice him to Cthulhu!"
"That's not how kids work."

[ErHo]

"Gentlemen, these Flumphs arent going to ride themselves"

"Baby got back"

"Its just a chest, let me pick the lock..."

"Kobolds wish they were just dumb dragons"

"Come on in, the water is fine"

"Not again"

[Theodoxus]

"All gods are Moradin. He works in mysterious way. No, I don't know why one aspect likes orcs. Or undead. or babies."

"My Int is zero, dude. Of course I don't know the history behind that rock."

"Snacks, why'd it have to be snacks..."

"No step on snek."

"Why did Darcian just become a flaming T-rex?"

"When I said 'run', I didn't mean dawdle like your tuckus don't care."

"No $#!^, there I was..."

"Chip Chip?"

"So, with intercompany expenses, should I exclude those from your internal spend account?"

"Why is there a naked dwarf running through town carrying a breastplate in his arms?"

"We're here for Glasstaff."

"Where can I get ones of those rockin' red brands?"

[Spriteless]

"speak with dead changes your perception of taking prisoners."
"sometimes I worry we're the bad guys"
"It's even possible to read telepathy?"

[Sizzlefoot]

Let's sacrifice him to Cthulhu!"

Funny. This is already both my catchphrase and my solution to every single problem I encounter. In real life.

[Zakz3]

“I am currently in a barrel I don’t think I can help”

“Hey lemons is that you”

“Well there deaf”

“Yes halfing John cena is here”

“I’m gonna use the boat to cook bread”

“She died like a man”

[Sizzlefoot]

"If you would be so kind as to fetch me a bucket of water to wash all of this blood off, I'm sure we could have a perfectly civil conversation."

"Hmm. Smells like urine. And despair."

"No, no, that's an improper way to refer to one's feeding tentacles."

"Wanna read my Orcus-Nylarathotep fanfic?"

"I'm starting to think that the sheep might be the bad guy here."

[Laserlight]

You threw my face overboard!
We should have started running forty-eight seconds ago.
Can we just burn down the whole forest?
You SHOT me! In the BUTT!
Your God [Ilumater] WANTS you to suffer! I'm helping!