OOTS #1176 - The Discussion Thread

[Schroeswald]

****Attention Galactic citizens, this is an announcement from the Senate Bureau of Intelligence****

It has come to the Bureau's attention that several actions classified as level-3 threats to the Galactic Republic have taken course within this sector.
The actions in question are :

- Several counts of trafficking of restricted Sith Artifacts including body parts.

The Bureau wishes to remind Republic Citizens, that due to the actions, goals and ressources demonstrated and used by the Sith Cult, any and all artifact associated with it automatically falls under the purview of the Class-A Weapons Act-0017 Subsection A and thus must immediately upon discovery be delivered to Republic authorities for safe-keeping by the Jedi Order.
Therefore, any attempt to keep, sell or otherwise conceal the existence of such an artifact from Republic Authorities is classified as an act of treason and will result in the approtiate legal actions.

The Bureau commands any individual currently in possession of Sith Artifacts (includinbg body parts) to immediately contact their local law enforcement agency for review by certified SBI Agents. Failure to comply will result in the use of lethal force.

****End of announcement****

I would like to report Squire Doodad for trying to sell me some legs of Darth Maul, I of course refused because I'm a good boy, now, don't look in my closet, for uh, no reason.

I thought the identity of the Sith'Ari wasn't clear with Revan, Bane, Sidious and Vader all being potential candidates.

They sort of hit you over the head with Bane being the Sith'Ari in the first Darth Bane book, and then some supplementary book confirmed it, though a lot of people have deluded themselves into thinking they are the Sith'Ari over history (I personally would be offended if it was Sidious, because his "destroy the Sith" was pretty pathetic).

[Snails]

If a female character goes unseen for 1000+ strips, is never mentioned, and the only characteristic we know of her is 'probably not dead?', even then someone on the Internet will call her a Mary Sue.
(not claiming you meant that sincerely; I can occasionally detect sarcasm)

As is right and proper, any female character whose name is worthy of remembering will acquire one or more of the following labels: (1a) a complete Mary Sue, (1b) the only reason anyone could actually like her is because of her Mary Sue-ness, (2) secretly wants to sleep with Tarquin.

[Schroeswald]

As is right and proper, any female character whose name is worthy of remembering will acquire one or more of the following labels: (1a) a complete Mary Sue, (1b) the only reason anyone could actually like her is because of her Mary Sue-ness, (2) secretly wants to sleep with Tarquin.

There's also 3) THE WORST CHARAKTERR EVAR!! and death threats, they do that too.

[Peelee]

They sort of hit you over the head with Bane being the Sith'Ari in the first Darth Bane book, and then some supplementary book confirmed it, though a lot of people have deluded themselves into thinking they are the Sith'Ari over history (I personally would be offended if it was Sidious, because his "destroy the Sith" was pretty pathetic).

Indeed. Revan would also have been a fairly terrible Sith'ari, considering.

[Schroeswald]

Indeed. Revan would also have been a fairly terrible Sith'ari, considering.

Considering he was actually hypnotized when he was a Sith, I'm not sure he even counts as raising the Sith (especially because it was a Sith that led an empire that had hypnotized him).

[Kantaki]

Wasn't the Sith'ari supposed to destroy the Sith and then rebuild the order from the ashes?
Dessel's pretty much the only one who fits.

Vader only managed the first and Revan messed up the order.
Bane actually murdered the then existing Sith-Order and then started the movement from scatch.
Only to be slain when his apprentice proved herself superior. As it should be.

[Schroeswald]

Wasn't the Sith'ari supposed to destroy the Sith and then rebuild the order from the ashes?
Dessel's pretty much the only one who fits.

Vader only managed the first and Revan messed up the order.
Bane actually murdered the then existing Sith-Order and then started the movement from scatch.
Only to be slain when his apprentice proved herself superior. As it should be.

It doesn't technically say the order, but it implies it.

[mjasghar]

You'd have to ask them. Or if you're asking about me for some reason...It's trivially easy for Hel to have had a horrific plan and have legitimate grievances at the same time. The only people involved with the bet I'm excusing for it are the dwarves, who got no say in it...and are as stuck as Hel is, which apparently is easy to forget about.

Who says Hel is stick with it? Show me one bit of proof that she can’t willing give up the bet.

[Jasdoif]

Who says Hel is stick with it? Show me one bit of proof that she can’t willing give up the bet.

Finding evidence for your own assumptions is your job.

I propose a compromise: Show me some evidence that Hel can willingly give up the bet, that giving up the bet means the souls of the dwarves who don't die honorably don't keep going to Hel, that Hel could be able to gather an equal or better rate of nourishment worship in this world compared to the souls she's getting now, and that Hel has some reason to think that assumptions in that regard will work out better for her now than when she accepted the bet in the first place.

[Fyraltari]

I would like to report Squire Doodad for trying to sell me some legs of Darth Maul, I of course refused because I'm a good boy, now, don't look in my closet, for uh, no reason.

The SBI wishes to
1) pre-emptively congratulate you on your loyalty, citizen Scroewald
2) inform you that a SBI-lead taskforce is currently en route to your lodgings
3) inform you that said lodgings may be used as a temporary base of operations for the duration of the investigation at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

You and and all people currently insides and/or inhabiting these lodgings are commended to stay inside and wait for taskforce arrival. Failure to comply may result in use of lethal force at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

In the meantime, your are commended to redact files on the subject of
1) description of every inhabitant of your lodgings (yourself included) including full name, species, gender(s), age, languages fluently spoken, relation to you, profession, current employer, marital status, list of all weapons possessed and wether they might possess or have access to restricted Sith Artifacts or other class-A weapons.
2) description of your lodgings including size, number of rooms and number of exits.
3) description of individual ‘squire doodad’ including full name, known aliases, species, gender(s), age, languages fluently spoken weapons and vehicles possessed, list of restricted Sith Artifacts or other class-A weapons to which they claim to have access, list of know associates, profession and current employer and any and all information potentially relevant to the investigation.
4) A history of your relation with individual ‘squire doodad’ including a detailed account of the interaction during which the transaction was offered (including place, date and means of communication).

All files must be accurate to the best of your knowledge, failure to comply may result in use of lethal force at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

Any suspicious behaviour, such as contacting third parties, erasing datapads, wiping droid memories, destruction of property, leaving your lodgings or refusal to answer the taskforce leader’s eventual questions may result in the use of lethal force at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

Furthermore, you and the residents of your lodgings are commended to obey any order given by taskforce members. Failure to comply will be consider hostile action and will result in immediate use of lethal force.

Should the investigation find you innocent of any wrongdoing, you will be compensated for any damage to your self or property up to an amount of three thousands (3,000) Republic Credits.

The SBI wishes you a nice day.

Wasn't the Sith'ari supposed to destroy the Sith and then rebuild the order from the ashes?
Dessel's pretty much the only one who fits.

Oh yeah, that was the thing. Say what you want about the Sith but at least their Prophecy isn’t as vague as the Jedi’s.

Only to be slain when his apprentice proved herself superior. As it should be.

If you are a blood-thirsty power-mad maniac, sure.

[Snails]

Oh yeah, that was the thing. Say what you want about the Sith but at least their Prophecy isn’t as vague as the Jedi’s.

I beg to differ.

Instead of the Jedi: "I don't know what the 'eff is supposed to happen but I am sure it will be good!"

We have the Sith: "You perceive me as astoundingly incompetent because of the limitations of your perceptions; I am the greatest Sith ever, albeit it will only become apparent after you all are dead. If I am the wrong guy, the dead part will still apply. To you."

Perhaps that is more specific, but it is not more specific in a way that is helpful. Arguably the opposite.

[Schroeswald]

The SBI wishes to
1) pre-emptively congratulate you on your loyalty, citizen Scroewald
2) inform you that a SBI-lead taskforce is currently en route to your lodgings
3) inform you that said lodgings may be used as a temporary base of operations for the duration of the investigation at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

You and and all people currently insides and/or inhabiting these lodgings are commended to stay inside and wait for taskforce arrival. Failure to comply may result in use of lethal force at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

In the meantime, your are commended to redact files on the subject of
1) description of every inhabitant of your lodgings (yourself included) including full name, species, gender(s), age, languages fluently spoken, relation to you, profession, current employer, marital status, list of all weapons possessed and wether they might possess or have access to restricted Sith Artifacts or other class-A weapons.
2) description of your lodgings including size, number of rooms and number of exits.
3) description of individual ‘squire doodad’ including full name, known aliases, species, gender(s), age, languages fluently spoken weapons and vehicles possessed, list of restricted Sith Artifacts or other class-A weapons to which they claim to have access, list of know associates, profession and current employer and any and all information potentially relevant to the investigation.
4) A history of your relation with individual ‘squire doodad’ including a detailed account of the interaction during which the transaction was offered (including place, date and means of communication).

All files must be accurate to the best of your knowledge, failure to comply may result in use of lethal force at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

Any suspicious behaviour, such as contacting third parties, erasing datapads, wiping droid memories, destruction of property, leaving your lodgings or refusal to answer the taskforce leader’s eventual questions may result in the use of lethal force at the discretion of the taskforce leader.

Furthermore, you and the residents of your lodgings are commended to obey any order given by taskforce members. Failure to comply will be consider hostile action and will result in immediate use of lethal force.

Should the investigation find you innocent of any wrongdoing, you will be compensated for any damage to your self or property up to an amount of three thousands (3,000) Republic Credits.

The SBI wishes you a nice day.

Probably not a smart move to let me spin an elaborate story on my fake life Star Wars life and all information related.
1. Okay, so we have two people in my lodgings, Schroeswald, a blond-haired male with a purple and black striped shirt, and bunny ears, a Lucky Rabbitnut, age 690, fluent in Basic, Rabbit, and Sith (it was an elective), employed as a pianist by Palpatine's Orchestra House (unfortunately named, I know), divorced three decades, weapons I own are a few mandolorian iron strips and one blaster,, no communication with Sith artifact owners besides Mr. Doodad The other is my half-sister, KarenBeckywald, a blond haired female with a pink skirt, a human age 21, fluent in Basic and MTV, employed as secretary for the Dunder Mifflin Parasteel Company, in a relationship, owning fifteen laser knives and no knowledge or ownership of Sith Artifacts.
Now, figure out what two fictional characters Schroeswald is named after.
2. Our apartment is 400 square feet, one exit, one bedroom, and two closets.

3. Mr. Squire Doodad, no known aliases, a Space Bugbear, male, five months (they age quickly), speaks Basic fluently, owns force-sensitive legs, which are also his artifact, no known associates and appears to be some sort of gambler.

4. I was thinking about buying a prosthetic hand when some people nearby started to inquire on the stats of the hands and eyes of Vader and Palpatine, Squire appeared and asked if they were being sold, where some sort of lizardman wizard revealed he owned part of Plagiuses left big toenail, he the offered to sell his Maul legs, I then inquired, completely legitimately, just to help any future investigation, if he had any others and he revealed that he won then from a shady guy in a trench coat, who had crazy grey hair, carried a stick and had dark blue eyes. He then stole my antique pineapple trilobite replacement shells, and received several offers on the legs, I believe the wizard who was a lizard man revealed he was collecting Maul's legs, while a good person revealed that he owned pieces of a failed jedi and the nameplate of one Jedi Oboe-wand Ken-no-buy.

I hope my information proves useful and helpful in finding the unredeemably evil wizard and Squire, who are the only people involved who have done anything illegal and anything they say otherwise is slander.

Oh yeah, that was the thing. Say what you want about the Sith but at least their Prophecy isn’t as vague as the Jedi’s.

At least not every single jedi of mild importance was running around claiming to be the Chosen One.

If you are a blood-thirsty power-mad maniac, sure.

And Bane is in fact a blood-thirsty power-mad maniac, so perfectly in character.

[Particle_Man]

Pretty sure Hel would be free of the bet (or at the very least, of being able to care about the bet) if she died, regardless of if the dwarves were.

Yeah but the dwarves could be both free of the bet and live (and enjoy an afterlife) to enjoy that freedom.

[Jasdoif]

Pretty sure Hel would be free of the bet (or at the very least, of being able to care about the bet) if she died, regardless of if the dwarves were.

Yeah but the dwarves could be both free of the bet and live (and enjoy an afterlife) to enjoy that freedom.

Or they could be doomed to wander in Hel's portion of the plane for the duration of the world, because Hel isn't there to release them to who claims them.

Gambling with the dwarves' souls again, on whether Hel can die in the expected sense and whether such death could release said souls...doesn't strike me as a particularly good idea.

[Fyraltari]

Or they could be doomed to wander in Hel's portion of the plane for the duration of the world, because Hel isn't there to release them to who claims them.

I mean that still sounds like an upgrade on the current system. Maybe the dead dwarfs could build a civilization there. Although, I suppose the Death Giants, Deathworms and Garm would be an issue.

[Schroeswald]

Or they could be doomed to wander in Hel's portion of the plane for the duration of the world, because Hel isn't there to release them to who claims them.

Thor can just take up residence in Hel's domain and/or put a door to the place in the clouds there.

[Jasdoif]

Thor can just take up residence in Hel's domain and/or put a door to the place in the clouds there.

If he can, he can. If he can't, he can't. Do you think the assumption is worth gambling dwarven souls for the rest the world's existence on? (Especially since it involves Hel dying first...which seems like a tall order while she still gets the occasional soul for free.)

[Schroeswald]

If he can, he can. If he can't, he can't. Do you think the assumption is worth gambling dwarven souls for the rest the world's existence on? (Especially since it involves Hel dying first...which seems like a tall order while she still gets the occasional soul for free.)

He can walk in whenever he wants to dispute a soul, he can make them pop into his hand and throw them to freedom, it may not be certain but its close enough.

[Fyraltari]

fluent in Basic and MTV

Okay, that made me chuckle.

And Bane is in fact a blood-thirsty power-mad maniac, so perfectly in character.

And a massive hypocrite, but that goes without saying.

[Jasdoif]

If he can, he can. If he can't, he can't. Do you think the assumption is worth gambling dwarven souls for the rest the world's existence on? (Especially since it involves Hel dying first...which seems like a tall order while she still gets the occasional soul for free.)

....it may not be certain but its close enough.

That's a "yes", then. So noted.

[Squire Doodad]

I would like to report Squire Doodad for trying to sell me some legs of Darth Maul, I of course refused because I'm a good boy, now, don't look in my closet, for uh, no reason.

Hey, I won those legs in a perfectly legal...um, something. Besides, I didn't know I was getting Sith legs! It could have been anyone's legs I had won!

I mean that still sounds like an upgrade on the current system. Maybe the dead dwarfs could build a civilization there. Although, I suppose the Death Giants, Deathworms and Garm would be an issue.

Think of FF2 Dawn of Souls: assuming souls are not strictly speaking immortal (and Evil-plane petitioning souls tend to be more vulnerable to sharp stabby things than Good ones), then even if they can establish a haven and hide from monster attacks, many, many souls will be under attack and possibly "killed" (or more likely disfigured/wounded) before you can get a significant amount of the dwarven souls in one place.

There's also something of a problem in that the domain is arguably free real estate. While either Odin or Loki might qualify to claim the land as their own for the time being, there's also a good chance that Nergal or whoever does dead stuff in the Twelve will try to conquer that area. There's some evidence to suggest that the blood war of the Evil planes is, in fact, affecting territory, and so that leaves a vast area riddled with free souls for the picking. There are plenty of high-ranking heroes who died from hypermalaria or whatever, but most of them will just be random low level souls that will probably translate to 1 or 2 HD at best spirits for fighting purposes.

[Schroeswald]

Hey, I won those legs in a perfectly legal...um, something. Besides, I didn't know I was getting Sith legs! It could have been anyone's legs I had won!

Well then you should have reported it to the proper channels like I did when you tried to sell me the legs, as that was my first encounter with Sith body parts.

[Squire Doodad]

Well then you should have reported it to the proper channels like I did when you tried to sell me the legs, as that was my first encounter with Sith body parts.

Didn't you say something about looking for Lumiya's organs?

I just tried to stat it out okay, I was buying robot hands, if I wanted to sell the body parts of Sith Lords I'd sell a few spare parts from Lumiya and Caedus's head, but those are collectibles, they'd cost you quite a bit.

Strikes me as something an anti-Republic goon would do!

[Jasdoif]

Didn't you say something about looking for Lumiya's organs?

Could've been looking for Luminara, made a typo, and autocorrect did the rest. Wouldn't be the first time I've heard of that happening....

[Squire Doodad]

Could've been looking for Luminara, made a typo, and autocorrect did the rest. Wouldn't be the first time I've heard of that happening....

I mean, it could have been looking for Luminous Organs.

Gotta get that Ceadeed Axe

[Schroeswald]

Didn't you say something about looking for Lumiya's organs?



Strikes me as something an anti-Republic goon would do!

You um, faked that quote I never said that, and even in your fake quote I never was looking for any organs, you can’t even fake good. The point is I WIN!

[Squire Doodad]

You um, faked that quote I never said that, and even in your fake quote I never was looking for any organs, you can’t even fake good. The point is I WIN!

Why would I need to fake Good? I'm already good! Or, well, at least not Evil. I think. *consults several thousand alignment quizzes*

...not Evil!

[Goblin_Priest]

As is right and proper, any female character whose name is worthy of remembering will acquire one or more of the following labels: (1a) a complete Mary Sue, (1b) the only reason anyone could actually like her is because of her Mary Sue-ness, (2) secretly wants to sleep with Tarquin.

Ah, yes, people 1) never remember Leia's name and 2) whenever they do, always call her a Mary Sue.

[Schroeswald]

Ah, yes, people 1) never remember Leia's name and 2) whenever they do, always call her a Mary Sue.

You realize it wasn’t meant to be literal, right, I mean I was mostly talking about OOTS when I responded, and I completely ignored Hailey in it, because we were making a joke that wasn’t meant to be 100% accurate.

[Jasdoif]

I mean, it could have been looking for Luminous Organs.

Also possible; the Levenshtein distance of 4 is well within range of an eager autocorrect messing things up.