Songbird race! (And other stuff.)

[Bhu]

When I firs saw the name Boring Cone, I immediately thought of a small critter that dulled people into defenselessness with boring lectures.

[Metastachydium]

When I firs saw the name Boring Cone, I immediately thought of a small critter that dulled people into defenselessness with boring lectures.

Heh. That's the Bore of Calydon, actually, a few posts further up on the same page (well, except for the poart with small; it's rather obese).

[Metastachydium]

So, as foreshadowed, Outsiders! And not only that: EXEMPLARS! (Well, one exemplar and a non-Baatexu Devil, if you want to be a snob about it, but the former is a BIRDY.) So,

Mowing Devil
About 5 feet tall, mowing devils are hairless creatures of a broadly humanoid shape with a thick, wrinkled black-gray hide.A faint, yellow light burns at the bottom of their eyeholes. They move about hunched, carrying a wickedly sharp scythe that seems altogether too large for them to handle properly.

At night, they appear at fields of crops not yet ripe for harvest and mow oblong geometric shapes into them. It is said that they are drawn to people that speak with blasphemous arrogance and that their work is an ill omen, a sign of the nether realms' attention.

Mowing devils speak Common and Infernal, but rarely talk to mortals.

Size/Type: Medium Outsider [Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful]
Hit Dice: 4d8+16 (34 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 40 feet (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+2 Dex, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+8
Attack: +1 keen scythe +10 melee (2d4+7, 19–20/×4)
Full Attack: +1 keen scythe +10 melee (2d4+7, 19–20/×4)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Brimstone terror, reap
Special Qualities: Darkvision 120 ft., DR 8/silver and good, immunity to fire and poison
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +6
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 15, Cha 11
Skills: Appraise +7, Craft +7, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (local, nature, the planes) +7, Listen +9, Move Silently +9
Feats: Ability Focus (Brimstone Terror), Weapon Focus (scythe)
Environment: A lawful evil-aligned plane
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Alignment: Always lawful evil
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Mowing devils care little for combat, but disturbing their work infuriates them easily. Unless their opponents carry ranged weapons powerful enough to have them worried, they tend to let those not paralyzed with their fear come to them and only pick off cowering creatures once these are routing or felled.

Brimstone Terror (Su)
When a mowing devil works on the fields at night, it is surrounded by a glowing yellow-red haze and a strong stench of sulphur. Any creature that approaches within 80 feet of the devil to investigate its source must succeed on a DC 14 Will save each minute or cower for the same duration. Against such opponents, the devil's scythe deals an additional 1d8 points of fire. This is a mind-affecting fear effect. A mowing devil can suppress or reactivate it with a swift action. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Reap (Ex)
The mowing devil can lay low foes as easily as it mows down crops. As a full-round action, it can strike up to five opponents with a single swing of its scythe as long as these opponents are within its reach and adjacent to each other.

♣

And enter the BIRD:

Ostrich Archon
The shock cavalry of the heavens, ostrich archons are magnificent celestial ratites. The plummage on their ovoid bodies is a rich, medium blue, whereas the soft, short fluff on their long necks and powerful arms ending in three-fingered hands a pleasantly subdued light gray. As steadfast champions of order and good, they ride ahead of the great hosts from above, breaking their flightless foes (especially those that hail from hostile planes) without fear and without compromise.

Size/Type: Large Outsider [Archon, Extraplanar, Good, Lawful]
Hit Dice: 9d8+18 ( hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 60 feet (12 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-1 size, +4 chain shirt, +3 Dex, +4 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+17
Attack: +2 lance +15 melee (2d6+8, ×3) or kick +13 melee (2d4+6)
Full Attack: +2 lance +15/+10 melee (2d6+8, ×3) and kick +8 melee (2d4+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Driving charge
Special Qualities: Aura of menace, darkvision 60 ft., DR 10/evil, even stride, immunity to electricity and petrification, low-light vision, magic circle against evil, spell-like abilities, teleport, tongues
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +9, Will +8
Abilities: Str 19, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 12, Wis 15, Cha 16
Skills: Balance +15, Concentration +14, Diplomacy +15, Jump +16, Knowledge (geography, the planes) +13, Listen +16, Spot +16, Swim +16
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Improved Initiative, Run
Environment: A lawful good-aligned plane
Organization: Solitary, patrol (4–10 plus half as many riders and 2 lantern archons) or squadron (40–120 plus half as many riders and up to 10 lantern archons)
Challenge Rating: 8
Alignment: Always lawful good
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Ostrich archons might not be reckless, but nor are they subtle. They come upon their foes fast and in numbers, and only retreat when ordered to. Often enough, they carry riders aligned with the same cause that they serve who skirmish from their backs, augmenting their already fearful might even further.

Aura of Menace (Su)
Will DC 17 negates.

Driving Charge (Su)
A chaotic or evil outsider a charging ostrich archon succesfully hits suffers an additional 1d12 points of damage and is driven away from the plane of battle, as if affected by the dismissal spell of with a caster level equal to the ostrich archon's number of hit dice. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Even Stride (Ex)
Ostrich archons are creatures of law. They can move, regardless of the terrain, in a manner so smooth that any Medium or smaller creature they willingly carry on their backs can fight from there as if it had the Mounted Archery feat, even if it doesn't meet the feat's prerequisites.

Spell-Like Abilities
At-will: detect chaos, detect evil, longstrider. Caster level 9th.

[Bhu]

So Hell is responsible for crop circles...that makes sense.

[Metastachydium]

So Hell is responsible for crop circles...that makes sense.

The weirdest thing about it? It's based on actual folklore.

♣

Meanwhile, we're moving from the planes to the plains, for a few plain little plainsdwelling designs. First, the

Iron Maggot
Iron maggots are massive millipedes, over 20 feet long. While they aren't truly metallic, the entire length of their cylindrical body is encased in rings of glossy, black armour plates that are almost as resilient as true steel. Feared and widely considered pests, they are, in fact, surprisingly innocuous and quite content to feed on already decaying matter.

Size/Type: Huge Vermin
Hit Dice: 10d8+77 (171 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 50 feet (10 squares), burrow 20 feet, climb 40 feet
Armor Class: 22 (-2 size, +14), touch 8, flat-footed 22
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+22
Attack: Bite +12 melee (2d8+10)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (2d8+10)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Miasmic glands
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., DR 10/bludgeoning, iron rings, tremorsense 20 ft., vermin traits
Saves: Fort +14, Ref +3, Will +3
Abilities: Str 24, Dex 11, Con 24, Int –, Wis 10, Cha 7
Skills: Climb +15
Feats: –
Environment: Temperate plains and underground
Organization: Solitary, pair or flood (10–40)
Challenge Rating: 6
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 11–18 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Iron maggots are not predatory. They only attack if they feel threatened, trying to drive off foes with their bite and stench. Being mindless, however, they are not very apt at telling true threats from passers-by; as such, they are to be approached with caution.

Iron Rings (Ex)
The rings that form an iron maggot's body are as smooth as they are hard. Piercing and slashing weapons have a 20% chance of harmlessly sliding off of the iron maggot's body.

Miasmic Glands (Ex)
When engaged in melee, the glands under the thick plates protecting the iron maggot begin to exude a thin gas with a horrible stench that seeps through the gaps between said plates. Any opponents within 5 feet of an iron maggot that activated this ability have to succeed on a DC 22 Fortitude save or become sickened. Those rendered sickened must retreat from the affected area or make another Fortitude save at the same DC in the following round to avoid becoming nauseated. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Skills
Iron Maggots have a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

♣

And a quick DISCLAIMER for the second one: the temptation might be overwhelming, but maybe don't call it a frogre when it can hear you. Just a thought. With that in mind, behold the

Badragh
Of ogre stock, badraghs resemble their more common cousins in most respects, except for a number of key details, the most striking of these being their lack of hair (on scalp, face and body alike) as well as earlobes and the olive green tint of their skin that darkens to a dark greenish brown or green-black with age. Their noses are impossibly broad and flat and their legs slightly bent and strongly muscled.

Most badraghs nomadize in small groups, sticking close to the major lakes and watercourses in the summer to help keep themselves cool as needed. They are known to hibernate through harsher winters.

Badraghs speak Giant.

Size/Type: Large Giant
Hit Dice: 4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 feet (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, -1 Dex, +2 masterwork cord armour, +3 masterwork extreme wooden shield, +2 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+11
Attack: Stabaxe +6 melee (1d8+4, ×3) or shortspear +6 ranged (1d8+4)
Full Attack: Stabaxe +6 melee (1d8+4, ×3) or shortspear +6 ranged (1d8+4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: –
Special Qualities: Great leap, low-light vision
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +2, Will +2
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 9, Con 15, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 5
Skills: Jump +15, Swim +5
Feats: Acrobatic, Brutal Throw
Environment: Temperate hills and plains
Organization: Solitary, patrol (2–5) or clan (10–50, including 50% noncombatants)
Challenge Rating: 2
Alignment: Often neutral
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +2

Combat
Badraghs are not particularly aggressive, let alone territorial. If attacked, they will use their speed and skill at leaping far and with ease to face any pursuers at grounds as favourable as possible.

Great Leap (Ex)
Badraghs might be weaker of arm than other ogres, but they are, in turn, stronger of legs. Badraghs can make both long jumps and high jumps without the lack of a running start affecting the DC. A running start of 20 feet decreases the DC by a quarter (rounded down) and a running start of 40 feet halves it.

Skills
Badraghs receive a +5 racial bonus on Jump checks.

[Tzardok]

Iron Maggot

For a second I thought you'd gotten The 13½ Lives of Captain Bluebear for yourself, because there's an iron maggot too in there. But those are mountain dwellers.

[Metastachydium]

For a second I thought you'd gotten The 13½ Lives of Captain Bluebear for yourself,

I did, in fact! As well as Rumo, the Alchemaster and the first Dreaming Books one (all in English, sadly, since I'm not perfect and my German is even worse)! I'm yet to find the time to read them, but I'm definitely getting there!

because there's an iron maggot too in there. But those are mountain dwellers.

These are indeed unrelated, though. "Iron maggot" or "iron worm" is just a popular umbrella term for certain kinds of innocuous millipedes 'round where I live, and since the name sounds badass, I had to make them big.

[Tzardok]

Huh. You learn something new every day.

Edit: you'll have to tell me wether the translations are any good.

[Metastachydium]

Huh. You learn something new every day.

I mean, statistically speaking there is a probability, however small, that it will save your life someday!

Edit: you'll have to tell me wether the translations are any good.

Will try, but you'll understand that my inability to reliably measure it against the original might impact my own reliability in turn.

[Metastachydium]

Looks like I haven't announced last week that the next one's gonna be bad pun week, so it's not gonna be that. Have some (read: 2) elementals instead!

Sabulon
When standing or in motion, sabulons appear to be small dunes striding on two legs as thick as pillars. Two more appendages, long and formless hang from their sides almost to the ground. They are morose beings, and though they might lack malice, they have a notably ill temper and little patience to spare on strangers.

Sabulons speak Terran.

Size/Type: Huge Elemental [Earth]
Hit Dice: 11d8+22 (71 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 50 feet (10 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+27
Attack: Slam +16 melee (3d4+9)
Full Attack: 2 slams +16 melee (3d4+9) and stamp +14 melee (5d4+4)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab, smother
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., elemental traits, half damage from weapons, vitrefy
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +5
Abilities: Str 28, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 5, Wis 11, Cha 5
Skills: Climb +9, Hide -2 (+10 in sandy deserts), Listen +4, Move Silently +4, Spot +4
Feats: Iron Will, Multiattack, Weapon Focus (slam), Weapon Focus (stamp)
Environment: Elemental Plane of Earth
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 8
Alignment: Usually neutral
Advancement: 12–18 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Sabulons rush their perceived opponents immediately and attempt to grapple as many of them as possible. If clearly outmatched, it commonly uses its speed to flee.

Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, a sabulon must hit with a slam or stamp attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can smother its foe.

Smother (Ex)
If it succesfully establishes a hold upon an opponent, the sabulon's body begins to flow around and into its victim. In addition to taking automatic slam or stamp damage (depending on which of these the sabulon initiated the grapple with) each round the hold is maintained, a foe so grappled must hold its breath or begin to suffocate.

Vitrefy (Ex)
If a sabulon suffers more than 20 points of fire or electricity damage in a single round, part of its body melts into glass. A partially vitrefied sabulon's speed decreases by 20 feet and weapon damage dealt to it is no longer halved for 1d4 rounds. However, its natural armour increases by 5 points for the same duration.

Skills
In sandy deserts, a sabulon does not take a size penalty to Hide checks and receives a +4 racial bonus to the same.

♣

Khalx
Slender and somewhat misshapen, khalkes are elemental beings, whose bodies are wildly asymmetrical aggregations of angular, almost crystalline slabs with a red or red-brown metallic sheen to them, seemingly fused together in a manner most haphazard. They sport two scrawny legs and three arms, usually two on the left side and one on the right (albeit the arrangement of these limbs varies), each ending in four long, jagged claws.

Khalkes speak a fast, garbled Terran and are quite loquacious.

Size/Type: Medium Elemental [Earth]
Hit Dice: 4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 30 feet (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+2 Dex, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Claw +5 melee (1d8+2)
Full Attack: 3 claws +5 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Red decline
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., DR 5/–, elemental traits
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +3, Will -1
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 7, Wis 7, Cha 13
Skills: Climb +2, Intimidate +7, Listen -1
Feats: Ability Focus (Red Decline), Improved Initiative
Environment: Elemental Plane of Earth
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Alignment: Often chaotic neutral
Advancement: 5–7 HD (Medium), 8–13 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Not particularly brave, khalkes tend to employ slash-and-run tactics. If they fail to weaken a foe fast, they attempt to retreat.

Red Decline (Ex)
Any living creature succesfully hit by a khalx's claw attack, as well as any living creature that succesfully hits it with a bite attack must make a DC 16 Fortitude save or be sickened for 1d4 minutes. Further, opponents that fail contract a disease, with an incubation period of 1d3 days, dealing 1d4 points of Intelligence and 1d4 points of Wisdom damage. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Skills
Khalkes have a -4 racial penalty on Hide checks, which increases to -8 in conditions of bright illumination.

[Metastachydium]

So, did someone say bad pun monsters? The answer is yes, of course. Because it was me. I said it.

Enter some PLANTIES, of two sorts:

Spearmint
Rarely taller than 4 feet and incredibly slender, spearmints are herbaceous plants with serrated, diamond-shaped leaves. Their young branches are tough but flexible and they can wrap them around objects to manipulate them as easily as a creature with hands would. Most herbivores avoid them, and they avoid most other creatures in turn.

Spearmints speak Sylvan.

Size/Type: Small Plant
Hit Dice: 2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 feet (4 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+1 size, +2 Dex, +1 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-5
Attack: Salamander halfspear +4 melee (1d6-2 plus 1d6 cold) or salamander halfspear +4 ranged (1d6-2 plus 1d6 cold)
Full Attack:Salamander halfspear +4 melee (1d6-2 plus 1d6 cold) or salamander halfspear +4 ranged (1d6-2 plus 1d6 cold)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Cold sap
Special Qualities:Low-light vision, plant traits, speartrained
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +2, Will +0
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 12, Wis 11, Cha 11
Skills: Climb +2, Hide +6, Move Silently +6, Survival +2
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any temperate land
Organization: Solitary or patch (5–15)
Challenge Rating: 1
Alignment: Usually neutral
Advancement: By character class Favoured Class: Scout
Level Adjustment: +2

Combat
Spearmints are surprisingly ferocious, albeit, after a fashion, very defensive combatants. They like to rely on the sheer surprise value of their skill with the spear and especially the cold sting they can grant their weapons.

Cold Sap (Ex)
The body of a spearmint produces a colourless substance of a curious, sharp scent. In a concentrated dose, it is known to cause a very unpleasant sensation of biting cold. Any creature that bites a spearmint or deals slashing or piercing damage to it with a natural weapon or unarmed strike is dealt 1d6 points of cold damage in return. As a swift action, spearmints can rub a leaf against the edge or point of a bladed weapon; it will thereafter likewise deal an additional 1d6 points of cold damage until the beginning of the spearmint's next turn.

Speartrained (Ex)
Spearmints have an instinctive understanding of how to wield shafted weapons that deal piercing damage. They are considered autom atically proficient with spears and similar weapons (such as ranseurs or awl pikes).

♣

Quivering Palm
Tall and slender, their trunks covered in grey-brown, large, diamond-shaped scales, quivering palms sway quietly in the desert wind, the shadow of their broad, boldly green leaves dancing about on the ground. They are timid and far from aggressive, but they can be slow in warming up to strangers and fiercely protective of the closer water sources and any desert-dwellers that this water sustains.

Quivering palms speak Asherati and Sphinx.

Size/Type: Huge Plant
Hit Dice: 10d8+40 (95 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 10 feet (2 squares)
Armor Class: 22 (-2 size, +3 Dex, +11 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+20
Attack: Slam +10 melee (2d12+5)
Full Attack: Slam +10 melee (2d12+5) and 2 leaf slaps +5 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Palm, quivering palm
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, plant traits, quiver
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities: Str 21, Dex 16, Con 19, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 12
Skills: Diplomacy +1, Knowledge (geography) +5, Listen +5, Sense Motive +5, Spot +5, Survival +5, Swim +5
Feats: Alertness, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Lightning Reflexes
Environment: Any warm land
Organization: Solitary or grove (2–6)
Challenge Rating: 6
Alignment: Usually neutral good
Advancement: 11–19 HD (Huge), 20–25 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Quivering palms are usually fairly defensive as combatants go. They will try to dance out of the way of blows and lift the weapons and tools that would deliver these from the hands that carry them. Dealing death isonly for when they are pressed too hard and other lives are at stake.

Palm (Ex)
The hard scales on the trunk of these palms, their point facing upwards, makes the plants adept at snatching items off of opponents and hanging onto these. Quivering palms receive a +6 racial bonus on all disarm checks.

Quiver (Ex)
The trunk and leaves of a quivering palm bend about and shake constantly and erratically. Ranged attackes, be they mundane or magical suffer a 25% miss chance when used against the palm.

Quivering Palm (Su)
This ability, usable once per week, is identical to the monk special attack of the same name. The save DC is Wisdom-based.

[Bhu]

Excellent puns!

[Tzardok]

Seriously, I've been expecting a punana.

And now to something completely different. ASP recently published a song from their upcoming album, and I couldn't help but share it, especially as you seemed to like the other songs I've recommended.

[Metastachydium]

Excellent puns!

Thanks! Halfway through writing up Quivering Palm I almost felt dirty. Almost.

Seriously, I've been expecting a punana.

I prefer to focus on the semantic and lexical when doing things like this; English phonetics make so little sense! (Plus I'm not much of a portmanteau person.)

Also, I wouldn't dare do that even if I thought opf it, lest I offend the Great Banana, Keeper of the Index.

And now to something completely different. ASP recently published a song from their upcoming album, and I couldn't help but share it, especially as you seemed to like the other songs I've recommended.

Oh, cool! I'll definitely check that one out, thanks.

[sandmote]

I particularly love the quivering palm.

Other bad suggestions: bee orchid/wasp orchid, snake plant, spider plant, and firecracker plant.

[Bhu]

dynamite tree!

[Tzardok]

How about a very musical plant? A rock rose.

[Metastachydium]

I particularly love the quivering palm.

Hah! Thanks! I'm really proud of that one, to be frank. It's bad, but I think it's bad in a good way. (Also, your avatar is still a BIRDY. I still love it.)

Other bad suggestions: bee orchid/wasp orchid, snake plant, spider plant, and firecracker plant.

dynamite tree!

How about a very musical plant? A rock rose.

[Very poor imitation of Saruman's voice.] We have work to do!

♣

Until then, though. Did you know that the gold standard was abandoned for ethical reasons? Neither did I, but these fellers seem convinced that's the case:

Hryzuun
Shaped like bulky, featureless statues of pale, soft yellow metal, hryza are slow, snotty and snobbish denizens of the Inner Planes. They often get involved and, indeed, try to exert influence over commerce wherever they reside, which often results in complications, given their distaste for the use of gold.

Hryza speak an ornate, antiquated dialect of Terran.

Size/Type: Large Elemental [Earth]
Hit Dice: 8d8+8 (44 hp)
Initiative: -2
Speed: 15 feet (3 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (-1 size, -2 Dex, +7 natural), touch 7, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+16
Attack: Slam +11 melee (3d6+9, ×3)
Full Attack: 2 slams +11 melee (3d6+9, ×3)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Shining crown, weighty fists
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., elemental traits, SR 18
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +0, Will +4
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 7, Con 13, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 18
Skills: Appraise +9, Climb +6, Diplomacy +7, Intimidate +7
Feats: Diligent, Iron Will, Power Attack
Environment: Elemental Plane of Earth
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 6
Alignment: Often lawful neutral
Advancement: 9–15 HD (Large), 16–23 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Hryza are proud beings, trying to exude an air of impersonal superiority at all times. This, combined with their low speed, makes it an unlikely incidence that they will attack any first. Nevertheless, offending one while within its reach is hardly safe: they are vicious when angered and try to inflict as much damage as possible as fast as they are able to.

Shining Crown (Su)
A hryzuun tends to react violently to the sight of another creature handling or wearing objects made of gold. When a hryzuun succesfully strikes such a creature with one of its slam attacks, its heavy fists seem to heat up, melt and flow around the body part struck, dealing an additional 1d8 points of fire damage per each point of Charisma modifier the hryzuun has. Such an opponent must further succeed on a DC 18 Fortitude save or be disfigured by the molten metal, suffering 1d3 points of Charisma damage.

Weighty Fists (Ex)
Hryza are heavier yet than what their bulk would suggest. They add 1-1/2 times their Strength modifier to the damage dealt by their slam attacks, and these slams deal triple damage on a confirmed critical hit.

Skills
Hryza receive a +4 racial bonus on Appraise checks.

[Metastachydium]

And another week with neither puns, nor PLANTIES. Yeah, I also think it's sad. Have another Elemental, for whatever that's worth:

Palykandor
These massive triangular pyramids, their vertex pointing downwards, lumber about ponderously on thick legs, the hollow eyes and narrow mouth on their broad face ever inscrutable. Two powerful arms swing awkwardly by their torsos, their shoulders jutting from well above the eyes. Beneath the sickly red glow they ooze, palykandors are a waxy yellow-white, their substance almost porous – but this is rarely apparent to the casual onlooker.

Palykandors are commonly feared and maligned, for they are veritable engines of destruction if they put their minds to it. But in fact, they rarely seek out a fight; they are merely morose and suspicious. That said, it is hardly safe to stick close by their side: despite what it does to them, they have a strange fascination with fire.

Palykandors speak Ignan and Terran.

Size/Type: Huge Elemental [Earth]
Hit Dice: 14d8+56 (119 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 40 feet (8 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+25
Attack: Slam +15 melee (2d4+7)
Full Attack: 2 slams +15 melee (2d4+7)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Fist of fire, lightbringer
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., elemental traits, glow
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +8, Will +8
Abilities: Str 24, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 14, Cha 13
Skills: Climb +11, Intimidate +9, Jump +11, Listen +4, Search +4, Spot +4
Feats: Ability Focus (Lightbringer), Dodge, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Power Attack
Environment: Elemental Plane of Earth
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 9
Alignment: Often neutral
Advancement: 15–24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Palykandors rarely open a fight with their strongest attacks. If annoyed or angered, at first they will try to bat opponents away with arms and fists. The barrages of light and flame are mostly for covering difficult retreats.

Fist of Fire (Ex)
Should a palykandor suffer 15 or more points of fire damage in a single round, it catches fire. On each subsequent round, it can use a move equivalent action to extinguish itself, or else it loses half as many points as it initially did as the fire continues to consume its flammable body. However, if it chooses not to put the flames out, it deals an additional 4d4 points of damage with each succesful slam attack or grapple check. Fire resistence is considered 10 points lower against this extra damage than whatever its value would be against normal fire. Fire immunity halves the extra damage, but does not negate it.

Glow (Ex)
Palykandors constantly emit an ominous, dark red light that provides shadowy illumination out to 15 feet. They cannot suppress their glow, but it is negated by magical darkness of any sort.

Lightbringer (Su)
At-will as a full-round action, a palykandor can expel a globe of the matter that makes up its body and propel it out to a range of 150 feet. Thereafter, the globe violently explodes in a 40 feet burst, dealing 14d4 points of damage (DC 23 Reflex halves). Any that suffer a direct hit must succeed on a DC 23 Fortitude save or be blinded for 1d4 rounds and take 1d8 points of Conctitution damage. Those that succeed are merely dazzled for the same duration. The save DCs are Constitution-based. The damage this ability deals resembles fire, but isn't regular fire. Fire resistence is considered 10 points lower against it than normal, and fire immunity merely halves the damage.

[Metastachydium]

And I did it! I made a Spider Plant that is a Spider, a Plant and a Spider Plant, all at once! BUt turns out, the real bad pun is not the planty. It's the other half of this double( and then some, because age categories) feature. Let's see, in order:

Spider Plant, Adult
Also known as spider saxifrages, spider plants consist of a reddish stem with a yellow flower sitting on top of it, as well as eight long, serpentine runners. At the end of each runner, a little red bud sits with eight hairy, leglike roots of its own. Though often quite foul-mouthed, they are largelym innocuous, running up and down slopes to find a good spot where they can sun themselves, caring little for thecomings and goings of the world around them.

Adult spider plants speak Giant and curse fluently in Ibixian.

Size/Type: Medium Plant
Hit Dice: 6d8+6 (39 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 feet (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 ( +3 Dex, +2 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+5
Attack: Whiplash +7 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: 4 whiplashes +7 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with whiplash)
Special Attacks: –
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, plant traits, skitter away, spider climb
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +4
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 15, Cha 9
Skills: Climb +10, Hide +5, Move Silently +6, Survival +6
Feats: Endurance, Improved Toughness, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Cold hills and mountains
Organization: Solitary or with fleeing young (1 adult and up to 8 sprouts)
Challenge Rating: 3
Alignment: Usually neutral
Advancement: 7–11 (Medium)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Though just as smart as the average human otherwise, spider plants tend to have a rather poor grasp of tactics. They mostly just flail away with their long runners at foes, hoping to scare them off.

Skitter Away (Ex)
When a fight goes so heavily against a spider plant that defeat and death seem inevitable, the creature begins to prioritize the survival of its young over its own. The sprouts on the ends of its runners detach and skitter off in all directions, looking for a safe crack to hide in. The land speed of the spider plant is thereafter halved.

Spider Climb (Ex)
Spider plants can climb any surface as a creature under the effect of a spider climb spell could, as long as its material has a hardness of 8 or lower. Survival checks to track a spider plant over such a surface receive a +2 circumstance bonus.

Spider Plant, Sprout
The young of the spider plant, these riny creatures are the eight-legged buds of the parent flower, cut loose to run free and grow. When they reach 6 HD, they develop runners of their own, becoming full-blown adults.

Spider plant sprouts speak Giant.

Size/Type: Tiny Plant
Hit Dice: 1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 20 feet (4 squares)
Armor Class: 17 ( +2 size, +5 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-11
Attack: Slap -1 melee (1d2-3, min. 1 point)
Full Attack: Slap -1 melee (1d2-3, min. 1 poiny)
Space/Reach: 2½ ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: –
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, plant traits, spider climb
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +0
Abilities: Str 5, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 11
Skills: Climb +1, Hide +14, Move Silently +6, Survival +2
Feats: Endurance
Environment: Cold hills and mountains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: ¼
Alignment: Usually neutral
Advancement: 2–3 (Tiny), 4–5 (Small)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Spider plant sprouts are not built for fight. They fly insetad.

Spider Climb (Ex)
See above.

For Player Characters
A 5th level arcane spellcaster with the Improved Familiar feat can take a Tiny spider plant as her familiar.

♣

…and the big one (oddly enough, also an age category, albeit of something else):

Fair Imago
It is a little known fact (for rarely does it happen), but the fey beings known as nymphs are not the true adults of their race, but rather a stage of growth that immediately precedes it. If a nymph lives long enough (and this takes long centuries), it disappears into the reeds and brush growing over the waters and sinking into the mud, it falls asleep. Its slumber is restless at first and as it rolls and squirms about, it spins a cocoon around its form. Once it has so pupated, it grows motionless and lies there, as if dead, for years at end, its once delicate body stretching, changing. When it finally emerges, it is indeed changed. Its powers of old are still at its disposal, not unlike what they were, albeit stronger and more versatile than before. But it wears the shape of elves no longer.

The fair imago retains a face that is vaguely human, if with sharper teeth and larger, deeper, darker eyes, but once fully grown, it is more beetle than man. It skitters on six sturdy legs, complete with bent hooks to climb and slash and swim with; and on its oval back, wings grow, tucked under stiff, steely, glossy black covers. At this point, it has grown beyond most earthly concerns. It serves the forests; and cares little for man or elf or gnome.

Fair imagos speak a raspy, low Sylvan and Common.

Size/Type: Huge Fey
Hit Dice: 13d6+65 ( hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 50 feet (10 squares), fly 30 feet (average), swim 30 feet
Armor Class: 20 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +4 natural, +6 deflection), touch 16, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+29
Attack: Claw +19 melee (1d12+9)
Full Attack: 4 claws +19 melee (1d12+9) and bite +17 melee (2d8+4)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Deadly grace, spells, stunning glance
Special Qualities: Blindsense 20 ft., DR 20/cold iron and magic, eldritch invocations, low-light vision, unearthly grace
Saves: Fort +15, Ref +16, Will +21
Abilities: Str 28, Dex 15, Con 20, Int 17, Wis 21, Cha 22
Skills: Climb +11, Intimidate +9, Jump +11, Listen +4, Search +4, Spot +4
Feats: Ability Focus (Stunning Glance), Combat Casting, Iron Will, Multiattack, Surrogate Spellcasting
Environment: Temperate forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 15
Alignment: Often chaotic neutral
Advancement: 14–25 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Fair imagos strike from above or below, from the air or the water. They try to incapacitate as many foes as possible from a distance; thereafter, they reap.

Deadly Grace (Su)
A fair imago adds its Charisma modifier as a bonus to all attack rolls as well as grapple checks.

Eldritch Invocations
A fair imago can use the call of the beast and flee the scene invocations as a warlock whose level equals the fair imago's number of hit dice.

Spells
A fair imago casts divine spells as a 14th level druid. These effective druid levels and any druid levels a fair imago might gain stack for the purpose of determining caster level, spells per level gained and maximum spell level the fair imago is able to cast.

Stunning Glance (Su)
As a standard action, a fair imago can stun a creature within 50 feet with a look. The target creature must succeed on a DC 24 Fortitude save or be stunned for 4d4 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Unearthly Grace (Su)
A fair imago adds its Charisma modifier as a bonus on all its saving throws, and as a deflection bonus to its Armour Class.

Skills
A fair imago has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or threatened. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.

♣

And guess what? Next week's going to also be not-really-arthropods week. Until then, feel free to comment and whatever!

[Tzardok]

I fear I don't quite get the Spider Plant pun, especially the part about cursing in Goat People language.

[Metastachydium]

I fear I don't quite get the Spider Plant pun, especially the part about cursing in Goat People language.

The actual pun-pun (no, wait, that means something else) stricto sensu pun creature is the Fair Imago (I really wanted to name it just Imago, but this being 3.5, that was already a thing), and I'm really proud of it in a bad way. The Spider Plant is really just a spider plant that's also several spiders that are plants.

As for the goats… That's a planty thing. Goats are monstrous fiends and quite accomplished climbers. This is a better climber, living where Goatfolk could be expected to rear their ugly, horned heads. As is natural, insults ensue.

[Bhu]

That is one spooky Fey.

[Metastachydium]

Hrm. I should probably make a larval stage too.

[Metastachydium]

And history repeats itself! The Wasp Orchid is ready to skitter out into the wild (and I actually like its gimmick), but the real pun enters the picture elsewhere, brought to you by a different fake hymenopteran of similar coloration, the

Green Ant
Green ants are insectile elementals possessing the rough shape of an overlarge, pale green ant with three heads, a strangely angular abdomen, four legs and a single arm projecting forward from their thorax. They are of a heavily debated origin: many argue that their abilities suggest an affiliation with Air or Water, but they are otherwise ill-adapted to inhabit either realm. They have never been observed on Earth-dominant planes either. Whatever their origin, they are popular retainers among nobility and cities that can afford their services, usually as enforcers of law. They are especially adpet at breaking up riots and apprehending hostile folk wanted by the powers that be.

Green ants tend to speak Formian or Undercommon, but most pick up Common or some oft used local language quick and of their own accord.

Size/Type: Medium Elemental
Hit Dice: 6d8+12 (39 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 40 feet (8 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+2 Dex, +2 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+6
Attack: Truncheon +6 melee (1d8+2 nonlethal) or bite +6 melee (1d2+2)
Full Attack: Truncheon +6 melee (1d8+2 nonlethal) and bite +1 melee (1d2+1) or 3 bites +6 melee (1d2+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Breath weapon, poison
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., elemental traits
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 10
Skills: Diplomacy +4, Hide +5, Listen +9, Move Silently +5, Search +6, Spot +9
Feats: Ability Focus (Breath Weapon), Ability Focus (Poison), Lightning Reflexes
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or troop (5–15)
Challenge Rating: 5
Alignment: Usually lawful neutral
Advancement: 7–11 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: –

Combat
Green ants seem to loathe killing. They try to bludgeon or breathe foes into submission before resorting to the use of their bites.

Breath Weapon (Ex)
Green ants can disgorge a thin, almost colourless mist with a distinctive, sharp smell in a 10 feet line. Living creature caught in the area must succeed on a DC 17 Fortitude save or fall unconscious for 1d6 minutes. Upon a success, they are merely slowed (as per the spell) for 1d2 rounds. Breathing with one head alone requires a standard action. As a full-round action, a green ant can breathe upon opponents with all three heads simultaneously. Once it has breathed, it must wait for 1d4 rounds before it could breathe again with any given head. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Poison (Ex)
Green ants have poisonous bites (injury, Fortitude DC 17, initial damage 1d4 Wisdom, secondary sleep for 1d6 hours). The save DC is Constitution-based.

Skills
Due to their multiple heads, green antsreceive a +4 racial bonus on Listen, Search and Spot checks.

♣

Still:

Wasp Orchid
Built somewhat like a pincerless scorpion skittering on four broad, green legs, with a green tail curving forwards above its back, the wasp orchid is really an intelligent flower climbing up and down on the trunks of great trees looking for shelter, water or a sunny spot, aerial roots hiding under its wide petals serving as its legs. What appears to be a green-yellow wasp seems to rest on its upside at all times, which is, in fact, part of the plant, used to attract pollinators – but also to spy and sting.

Wasp orchids sometimes speak Sylvan.

Size/Type: Tiny Plant
Hit Dice: 2d8+6 (15 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 20 feet (4 squares), climb 20 feet
Armor Class: 16 ( +2 size, +4 Dex), touch 16, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-11
Attack: Slap +7 melee (1) or sting +13 melee (1 plus poison)
Full Attack: 2 slaps +7 melee (1) and tail slam +2 melee (1) or sting +13 melee (1 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 2½ ft./0 ft. (20 ft. with sting)
Special Attacks: Poison
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, plant traits, wasp
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities: Str 2, Dex 19, Con 16, Int 11, Wis 15, Cha 16
Skills: Climb +12, Hide +14, Search +5, Spot +9
Feats: Skill Focus (Spot), Weapon Finesse^B
Environment: Warm forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 1
Alignment: Usually neutral
Advancement: 2–5 (Tiny)
Level Adjustment: +2

Combat
These timid creatures are aware of their limits, and won't mix into melee if they can avoid it. This doesn't mean they cannot fight, nonetheless: if forced to make a stand, they will distract assailants with a comically ineffectual flurry of attacks – and then deliver an insidious sting from behind, meant to disorient or immobilize foes.

Poison (Ex)
Injury, Fortitude DC 14, initial and secondary damage 1d2 Dex. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Wasp (Ex)
The wasplike growth sitting atop a wasp orchid is much more like the insect it mimics than one would deem. At-will as a move action, the orchid can let it fly. The wasp has a fly speed of 20 feet with perfect maneuverability. The orchid can direct its flight once per round as a move action. Staying connected to the plant through a hair thin thread, the wasp can never get any farther away from the orchid than 20 feet, but it can sting regardless of its position and the otchid can see through its eyes.

When in flight, the wasp is considered a Fine creature with an AC of 22 and 5 hit points. It uses the base attack bonus and Dexterity modifier of the orchid for attacks, but receives a +6 size bonus to these. Should it be destroyed, the orchid loses 5 hit points it cannot restore until such time as the wasp is regrown. This process takes 2d4 days.

Skills
Wasp orchids receive a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks and may add their Dexterity modifier instead of their Strength modifier to all such checks. They can take 10 on Climb checks, even if distracted or threatened.

[sandmote]

I get the nymph/Imago pun, but I'm afraid the green ant eludes me. For a law enforcement type creature I'd expect a pun on "the fuzz," "copper," or "arm of the law."

I do really like the "plant parts can be severed and the rest keeps going," theme you're building up with the Spider Plant and Wasp Orchid though. I don't know enough 3.5e to know if that appears in other plant creatures, but its a neat way to differentiate what you'd expect from plants compared to fey or undead.

[Metastachydium]

I get the nymph/Imago pun, but I'm afraid the green ant eludes me. For a law enforcement type creature I'd expect a pun on "the fuzz," "copper," or "arm of the law."

It's an Elemental. Not really Air, not really Water. Puts people to sleep. Is a "green ant" with three heads and a hand. I'll put it in a spoiler box in case you'd rather keep guessing, but

Spoiler

Show

it's really a Chloroform Elemental.

I do really like the "plant parts can be severed and the rest keeps going," theme you're building up with the Spider Plant and Wasp Orchid though. I don't know enough 3.5e to know if that appears in other plant creatures, but its a neat way to differentiate what you'd expect from plants compared to fey or undead.

Thanks! It's like my personal theory about Trolls being actually Plants: they dislike fire, are green and they grow back. (On a vaguely related note, have I mentioned yet how much I HATE WotC for what they thought is a nice theme for Plants (i.e. less intelligent than other creatures and drinks blood or whatever)? Bad WotC! Bad!)

[Biggus]

It's an Elemental. Not really Air, not really Water. Puts people to sleep. Is a "green ant" with three heads and a hand. I'll put it in a spoiler box in case you'd rather keep guessing, but

And here was me thinking it was an absinthe elemental...

[Metastachydium]

And here was me thinking it was an absinthe elemental...

Don't be silly! The Green Fairy has the Fey type, obviously.

[Metastachydium]

One of these weeks, I'll make something actually serious. For now, have a BIRDY.

Overfinch
Even a gloaming on a bright summer day could tell that these little birds are no ordinary chaffinches. The size is about right, and they do have the brown plummage, the streaked wings, even the gray cap on males. But overfinches exude an exceptionally strong air of elegance, and indeed, superiority, confidence and power. They are mostly seen resting on or riding wagons and chariots; and the latter is quite the sight. They will, in fact, sometimes offer their services to those that they deem worthy, transporting them or their goods. No instance of their breaking a contract has ever been documented.

Overfinches speak Common with an impossibly posh accent, as well as two or three additional languages widely spoken locally.

Size/Type: Fine Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+10 (37 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 5 feet (1 square), fly 20 feet (good)
Armor Class: 22 ( +8 size, +4 Dex), touch 22, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/-16
Attack: –
Full Attack: –
Space/Reach: ½ ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Regal bearing
Special Qualities: All-terrain, darkvision 60', low-light vision
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 19, Con 15, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 20
Skills: Balance +8, Craft +6, Diplomacy +14, Hide +20, Intimidate +14, Knowledge (geography, local) +8, Listen +8, Spot +8, Survival +8
Feats: Ability Focus (Regal Bearing), Iron Will
Environment: Any temperate land
Organization: Solitary or with passengers
Challenge Rating: 3
Alignment: Usually lawful neutral
Advancement: 6–10 (Fine)
Level Adjustment: +2 (cohort)

Combat
Overfinches dislike violence, not to mention putting themselves in danger. However, they will carry passengers into the most chaotic battles if they agreed to do so, supporting them in whatever way they are able to which rarely if ever involves joining the melee.

All-Terrain (Su)
Any land-based, wheeled vehicle that an overfinch chooses to ride is capable of moving as if drawn by an appropriate number of heavy horses and ignores all penalties to speed caused by traversing difficult terrain. Overfinches can steer such a vehicle as a free action, taken each round the vehicle remains in motion.

Regal Bearing (Su)
Any creature within 100 feet of the overfinch that sees the bird drive a vehicle must succeed on a DC19 Will save or be overawed by its majesty. Such creatures may freely give way to the vehicle the overfinch rides, but otherwise are considered fascinated as long as they remain within the range of the effect. Passengers willingly transported by the overfinch are immune to its regal bearing. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Skills
Overfinches receive a +5 racial bonus to Diplomacy and Intimidate checks.

♣

I had some serious trouble assigning CR here, I may add. Input would be much appreciated.