Em's Extremely Extraordinarily Epic Random Banter #91

[Saithis Bladewing]

What's this? What's this? People dissing Nightmare before christmas.
What's this? What's this? Something is amiss.

There's people posting insults
Instead of posting praise
How could these people not enjoy
It leaves me in a daze

Because I didn't like it and thought it was a big pile of rubbish, maybe?


@^ I know Rex is no longer a candidate, I told Lord Herman I didn't care enough to change my vote. And alright, your vendetta is fair enough, I'll change my vote away from you then. Since we're at war now.

[Ceska]

So, a friend shot me playing football (the true version) today. The right glass of the glasses broke, the left is pretty much untouched. I then went to hospital to see if I had splinters in the eye, but it doesn't seem so. Luckily.

I feel left out not knowing what happened to Rex.

[Haruki-kun]

^: Join the club. But we're not supposed to talk about it.......

I've never posted in RB before. I don't know why.

Nightmare before Christmas? Meh............ I liked it. Just not as much as everyone seems to. Good Kingdom Hearts World, though.

[CurlyKitGirl]

One more reason I don't like football (the real version); danger with glasses and tackling.
You're lucky you didn't get any glass in the eye.

[Ceska]

One more reason I don't like football (the real version); danger with glasses and tackling.
You're lucky you didn't get any glass in the eye.

Yup, just the eyelid, and everything around my eye. Plus usual bruises.

And it was a team-mate (and my best friend), who shot, too.

[A Rainy Knight]

I'm assuming that you're referring to soccer? I don't particularly like soccer or American football because there's tons of potential to get clobbered in both of them.

[Haruki-kun]

Ah! Right! Football!

I thought:

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But you meant:

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Such misunderstanding..........

But I don't like them much, either. I'm accident-prone............ as in prone to causing acidents.......

[Eldpollard]

One more reason I don't like football (the real version); danger with glasses and tackling.
You're lucky you didn't get any glass in the eye.

Surely you'd be more lucky not to get hit by the football at all.

[Ceska]

Haruki, I meant what you thought I meant. American Football is referred as that here, American Football. It gets the predicate because Football is football, the real and original version.

Rainy Knight: It's okay indoors, just on grass is problematic (thanks to metal on your boots). Well, except when karatekid thinks he has to take a ball volley.

[Dr. Bath]

Well, original football was apparently an inte-village game of violence and pig bladders. Much pitchforks and running was involved. Slightly more dangerous than the modern incarnations.

But it is often thought that modern football, occasionally wrongly termed 'soc-car', originates from an aisian game (either Tibetan or Mongolian) in which a severed head was kicked about until either it exploded or someone got it to the other end of the feild/plateau/village.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Now I know where the DIscworld version came from. Thankee kindly Dr.

[Zar Peter]

I played Football for about 10 years and I never! wear my glasses while playing. It's dangerous enough without them.
And maybe that's the reason why I never played real good (Motto of my team: Never change a losing team)

[Dr. Bath]

Believing things I say may or may not lead to side effects including, but not excluding, positive or otherwise, memory loss, failing of tests, excessive London, inpromptue singing, gravity defying hair, acid toes, rickets, crumpets, oblong triangles and space-time displacement. Bath corp does not accepted any allegations, or lack thereof, of slanderous, machiavellian, of otherwise proverbial practice in Bath corp or any other affiliated, attatched or disjointed company, place or time. Terms and conditions may or may not apply. Send ten dollars to the folowing address: 112 notapyramidscheme, bath avenue, London.

Thank you for your time.

[Ceska]

I played Football for about 10 years and I never! wear my glasses while playing. It's dangerous enough without them.
And maybe that's the reason why I never played real good (Motto of my team: Never change a losing team)

I don't see well, I see differently and I'm a bit cross eyed. Basically I don't see a pass without glasses.
And my eyes hate contacts of any kind.

[BrokenButterfly]

I've always wanted to try out contacts, but I'm pretty happy with glasses. Got a nice new pair last month in fact.

I just think my face looks a bit odd without a frame in-front of my eyes...

[Rawhide]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure, I have this" and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000 and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

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(wait for it.........)

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....."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Eldpollard]

I think I may be slightly short sighted. I really should get them checked. Faraway words never used to be blurry.

[Semidi]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this" and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000 and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

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(wait for it.........)

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....."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Thank you for making my day.

[Rawhide]

So, a friend shot me playing football (the true version) today. The right glass of the glasses broke, the left is pretty much untouched. I then went to hospital to see if I had splinters in the eye, but it doesn't seem so. Luckily.

Have you thought of getting plastic lenses for sport?

[Sean92k]

I've always wanted to try out contacts, but I'm pretty happy with glasses

I would get some contacts if I were you. Im wearing a pair right now that I've had in for 14 hours (not advised but Im too lazy to take them out) they're really cool, hard to put in and they sting like hell but well worth it for not having to keep messing with glasses.

A frog goes into a bank
*Snip*
The bank manager looks back at her and says...

Spoiler

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(wait for it.........)

Spoiler

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....."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

The joke... IT BURNS D: Jokin, it was funny

[Sir_Norbert]

Of the many many things I will never understand about humans, the most incomprehensible of all is why people insist on pretending that puns can't be funny. Is it uncool to laugh at a good joke?

[jmaccabeus]

Of the many many things I will never understand about humans, the most incomprehensible of all is why people insist on pretending that puns can't be funny. Is it uncool to laugh at a good joke?

I'm going to go with Isaac Asimov here and say that humor must have been given to us by aliens as part of an experiment or something. There's no other way to explain just how strange, varied, and lacking in logic it is...

[Dragonrider]

...and yet it's funny.

I, too, have chosen to wear glasses rather than get contacts. I prefer my appearance with them than without, since I have dark circles no matter how much sleep I get, and the glasses disguise it; in addition, the idea of putting little pieces of plastic (or whatever) on my eyeball just feels wrong.

[Dr. Bath]

Whoo! Go dark circles under eyes! We should form a club.

The thing is, I don't have any glasses to hide the shadows with, so I just look like a disheveled vampire the whole time.

[Eldpollard]

As do I. On the other hand I don't get enough sleep. But I've had them for a long time. It would be a dull club wouldn't it? Your eyes look dark, so do yours."

[The Bushranger]

I'm ashamed of you people.

Discussing stop-motion/claymation...

...and not a single reference to The California Raisins?



ASHAMED, I say!

[Sean92k]

I have the circles too, can I join? Pweeese? I get 8 hours of sleep, wake up more tired and looking worse. I've embraced the circles, I like them.

[Dragonrider]

Wow, lots of us!

[Eldpollard]

It's not suprising though is it. At home on the computer staying up late or avoiding daylight.

[Saithis Bladewing]

I'm a mild insomniac and I don't have any circles under my eyes.

...*Cries.* D: