Paranoia!!

[Greystone]

Ah, just another beautiful day in Alpha complex. You have all been brought to room C in the ISO sector. You met each other on the way, but still don't really know each other.

The room is about twenty feet long, just big enough to hold three bunk beds and the large central television monitor, which is turned off at the moment. Just as your all settling in there is a knock at the front door...

What do you do?

[Sainted_Milo]

[Stands up and walks slowly across the room]

Cooooooming!

[Opens door]

[Greystone]

The door slides open and a blue laser spears through the open door:

(1d20)[5]

It nails you in the chest, and you fly back into one of the bunk beds, your chest smoking. Mark off a clone.

A tall blond man in an ultra-violet uniform strides in and straightens his uniform, calling back through the doorway he says "Marcus-B that wasn't really neccassary"

Two blue Vulture squadron goons walk through the door and one with a smoking rifle shrugs sheepishly "Sorry Ryan-U, I just was going to blast down the door as it opened"

Ryan-U turns and sighs, and he taps a number on his wrist pad. Milo-R's body disintigrates and suddenly from the ceiling his exact clone falls to the floor with a loud thud.

"Sorry for the inconvenience" he says with an apologetic grin at Milo-R "I am here to give you your mission objectives" he holds up a orange folder that is labeled Team 1's eyes only.

Not waiting for an answer he turns and walks out, trailing the two goons.

The orange folder is lying on the bunk bed nearest to Nigma-R...

[MrEdwardNigma]

Nigma-R-MRE prods the folder carefully a couple of times, and then picks it up when he feels it's safe. He reads the folder and then destroys it.

"Alright men, I will be your team leader. My name is Nigma and I am from sector MRE. Just as you I am a red, but the computer has put me in charge of this mission in all his wisdom. Please introduce yourselves. I would also like to request that the equipment officer gathers up all gear so I can inspect it"

[Greystone]

Suddenly down from the ceiling twin laser turrets swing at Nigma and blast simultaneously:

(1d20)[2]
(1d20)[10]

The first catches you in the head and the second slams you in the left shoulder. You slump to the ground very, very dead.

Computer: I have terminated him for two reasons one because he touched a folder above his clearance level and two because he destroyed computer property. Have a nice day!

The door to your communal bathroom opens and Nigma-R-2 stumbles out looking wet.

[MrEdwardNigma]

Spoiler

Show

I guess I'm out of practise...

Nigma dries himself with one of the blankets on the bunks (provided they're of proper clearance ) and then turns to his team.

"What're you looking at? C'mon then, let's get this show on the road! Introductions, and then equipment inspection, now!"

Spoiler

Show

Also, since when can the computer monitor regular rooms besides confession booths and briefing rooms?

[The_Snark]

Snark-R-THE holds up a camcorder smartly. "Snark, from sector THE! Recordings officer, bringing our missions to the eyes and ears of Friend Computer!" It sounds like that's been memorized until the person no longer needs to think about saying it.

[Mephit]

Mephit-R-ISO steps up to introduce himself.
"Mephit-R-ISO, Officer in Charge of Hygiene, making sure all of our missions stay as hygienic as the computer can make possible. Does anyone want me to repeat the health measures again? Oh, I'll do it anyway.
We wash our hands every 30 min., shower daily, and please, please, please do not touch any doorknobs with your hands. You know how much filth gathers on those things? It's just...yucky..."
After a short silence, he adds:
"Anyway, I hope we can have some efficient and clean missions together."

[EvilRoeSlade]

Evil-E-IDE-1 introduces herself. She's tall and androgynous with a pinched nose from her security detail at the plant. A band around her jumpsuit identifies her as a registered mutant. "I'm Evil-R-IDE-1 friends, but you can call me Eve. I'll be your loyalty officer, here to record every last infraction that you're no doubt intent upon committing." Her gaze falls to the corpse on the ground. "Evidently my work is cut out for me. Your orders, valiant leader?"

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Wow, wow, wow, wow, a mutie? What's your mutation, clone?"

[EvilRoeSlade]

Eve's eyes widen, and she pulls out her Loyalty Pad, rapidly typing into it. "You've just requested information above your clearance level, noble leader. That infraction has been duly noted."

[MrEdwardNigma]

Nigma raised one eyebrow.

"You'd better learn your place, bootsmoke. Alright, so how about the rest of you? Names, functions?"

[The_Snark]

Should I be recording this? How did my orders go again? "In the event of any mission-related activity not under the supervision of Friend Computer or [INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE], record all information, ensure that [INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE], and submit recordings and [INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE] back to Friend Computer." That's not very helpful.

Snark raises a hand, absently asking a question as she wonders whether the camcorder ought to be on. "If it's above his clearance level, and he's a red, and you're a red, isn't it above your clearance level too?" Absent-minded questioning is a habit she really ought to break. Sure, let's have it on just in case. She turns it on, aiming it at the team member who has yet to introduce him/herself.

[EvilRoeSlade]

Eve inclines her head slightly. "Yes naturally, it is."

[Aevylmar]

Aevy-R-MAR is neat and crisp to the point of parody. His red hair is of the regulation length and properly combed, and he looks directly forward with a fanatic's gleam.

"I am Aevy-R-Mar, Equipment Officer. Hand over all of your equipment, I hope you are prepared for inspection."

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Ah, so you're the equipment officer? Very well, check their bags please, especially the mutie's bags"

[Sainted_Milo]

Milo brushes himself off and offers his bags for inspection, a large grin on his face.

"Sorry about that, everyone, dying always seems to put me into a bit of a shock...Rest assured, it wont happen again."

((OOC=My computer crashed, hence the long response time, it's fixed, now, so it shouldn't become an issue later.))

[EvilRoeSlade]

Eve hands over her blaster, Loyalty pad, and all her other equipment.

[The_Snark]

Snark immediately hands over the camcorder, which is still running. After a moment, she remembers something, and hands over her laser (Red clearance). After another moment, she remembers another something, and hands over her PDA, still smiling.

[Aevylmar]

Aevy, standing to attention at all times, makes sure that nothing is being palmed by his fellow team-mates as they hand their equipment over to him.

(d20)[9]

Snark-R-THE! Evil-R-IDE! You have not provided me with your bags! Disobeying an order from your Team Leader is treason! Comply immediately or face termination!

He draws his red laser.

[EvilRoeSlade]

Eve raises a brow. "Yes I did. I specifically remember handing you all my equipment. And I hope you realize that won't work on me? Let me see that for a second." She deftly snatches up her Loyalty pad and begins typing in it. "Mmm-hmm, equipment officer has insufficient knowledge on the function of his blaster. Incompetence in mandatory bonus duty is treason. Here you go, friend." She tosses the loyalty pad back at Aevy.

[Aevylmar]

Aevy grabs the Loyalty Pad again.

I am not referring to your equipment - Team Leader Nigma commanded me to search your bags! And I already possess your equipment - Including your Reflec!

[EvilRoeSlade]

"Uhh... no you don't, if I keep it when I'm off duty, then it's not classified as equipment as far as I'm concerned. Here's my bag though." Eve tosses her bag over.

[The_Snark]

Snark pushes the bag over with her foot. "Could you inspect the camcorder first? I think I'm supposed to record this."

[Greystone]

Nothing seems to be "palmed", but you have no idea what may be hidden in their packs, (technically you have no jurisdiction over their personal belongings)

Remember if anyone gets to uppity, just call the computer...

[Sainted_Milo]

A wide smile crosses my face. "OK! How is everyone feeling? Are we feeling happy?! because you know...you should aaaaaaalways be happy!" As I reach for a long needle.

[EvilRoeSlade]

Eve grins and holds up her Loyalty Pad in a similarly threatening matter, before typing on it. "Oh yes, quite so. Over-extending authority by ordering search of personal possessions, that one's for Team Leader Nigma. Complying with a treasonous order goes to Aevy. What about you friend Milo? Committed any treason lately? Failure to report treason is in itself treason, after all."

[Sainted_Milo]

"Me? Oh my, no...I haven't the time for such nonsense, I'm just too busy making sure everyone doesn't turn into a big ol' grumpy gus." Milo turns and looks at the others, brandishing the over-sized needle like a sword. "Anyone need a little assistance, I think I can manage to turn those frowns upside down!"

[The_Snark]

"I'm pretty happy, I think," Snark answers obediently, still looking at the camcorder and waiting for the inspection guy to finish inspecting it.

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Eve has been very grumpy lately, Milo. Could you please fix that for us?" Nigma says with a big smile on his face.
"In the mean time, me and Aevy need to go arrange something. We'll be right back, don't worry. I suggest you use this time to get to know each other. It's very important for proper team work for the team to know each other through and through"

Nigma walked off, signalling Aevy he had to follow, even though he didn't seem to be entirely ready with the inspection.
"Just take whatever you haven't finished up with you to inspect on the way, Aevy. We don't have time to keep hanging around. We've got a mission to do!"