Maid RPG(IC thread)

[Ascension]

"I'm not trained for this!" Henrietta screams as she runs forward to whack the big scary cyborg man with her mop.

It's a great swing, with good follow through. Maybe she's better at this than she thought!

Spoiler

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5x2=10! Hah!

[First Speaker]

Nice, he'd relinquished control of the weapon, that meant that he -

It ... burnt. It ... seared her skin. Somehow, though, it didn't seem to matter. It was alright. She was still standing. With slow, faltering steps, she advanced forward to the techpriest, leant, picked up his bolt pistol, and, swinging her arm back round her body, brought it slamming down into his face.

Spoiler

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Lookin' kinda King of Games there, dice roller ...



Anyway, hitting with the butt of the bolt pistol (they're chunky things) for
will (can't dodge lasers, (although the whole 'what is a las/miserable pile of photons' debate rages on), and so some form of GAR is needed to just grit teeth and bear it) 5 x roll 5 = 25, plus Henrietta's and Rikka's bonuses.

[Talkkno]

The barrage of attaks by the Maids, left the Tech-Preist staggering, his face having a nice dent in it, but coutinued on, as if he was immune to pain, despite the state of disrepair his body was in.
(He's going to autofail regardless, so...)
"The blessing of the Ommisah were not enough..." He mumured, as he pressed the big red button, before collpasing into unconsiouses.
A low humming sound was heard into the backround as the strange black metal that was being subject to all sorts of abuse, the pressures and heat suddenly stopped applying as the metal began to consume itself, vapouses red energy starting to form and grow, but still confieded to the containtment vessel for now.

[First Speaker]

That looks ... somewhat bad.

Mariam mumbled, eyeing the containment vessel warily.

But at least we've got him alive ... perhaps we can ask him how to stop this?

[Nerd-o-rama]

Rikka whips out her cleaning gloves to handle the object safely, then looks around in hopes of finding some place to lob the probable high-yield explosive where it won't destroy any or all of the mansion. Carrying the device, she moves to a vaulted room in the basement, only to find it full of expensive wines. Moving back toward the stairs...no, Hira's in that room. Heading upstairs she finds a reinforced closet. Alas, it's full of stored artwork and statuary. Expensive. Running now, she moves out in the garden to toss it in the pond, but it's full of adorable little ducks!

"Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Desperate, she makes a run for the hedges and throws it into the air, hoping not to hurt anyone!

(5 x 3 Luck = 15)

[Talkkno]

Rikka threw the nebulous metal high into the air, as it suddenly stood still for a moment, as the chunk's cascading energy which it radiated devoured it utterly with a sound that uncannily resembled a small burp, as out came out a man that appeared to be in his early 50's, with some obvious augment fingers, but nothing as extreme as the tech-preist. He had a muscular but compact frame, wielding some sort of laser pistol the tech priest had, but it a small frame and not a obvious power pack jutting out on his grip rather awkwardly, on his belt lay a chain sword. A scarlet red sash adorned his chest with a black greatcoat and a cap obscuring his hair. He had a terrified look on his face as he fell onto the lawn.
He looked around for a moment, before staring at Rikka.

"Where in the name of the Emperor am I?!" He asked with much alarm, as pulled out his chain sword, continue to notice his surroundings but keeping a eye on Rikka.

[First Speaker]

Groggily, Mariam turns to Henrietta.

Did you hear those voices too?

With that, she stomps up the stairs, clutching the bolt pistol.

_/ _/ _/

Emerging, tottering slightly from the door, Mariam emerges. A loaded bolt pistol in one hand, a delicately laid tray - iced gin and tonics, lemon, and some biscuits that seem to have been miniaturised by some unnatural nanotechnological process.

Sir; would you like some refreshment? The master should be here short- uh ...

She stumbles, putting a hand to her side, which is now covered by a broad bloom of red blood over the grey fabric of her dress. The rest is little better - cut, torn, and broken. She blanches.

I ... uh ... hurrk ...

She falls forward, arms underneath her just about keeping the drinks tray upright. A drop of blood falls into one of the shot glasses, though. It spreads out in an infinitesimal supernova of red blood corpuscules, dying as the ethanol shut down their processes one by one.Somewhere far off in the universe, an ancient eldar seer laughed as his plan came to fruition. What a ****.

Spoiler

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OK, there is a plan, and remember, when it comes to Bloodless Carnage, I follow the Battlestar Galactica school. Also, for the meal - Skill 4 x Roll 3 = 12.

No Jurgen now, eh Cain?

[Ascension]

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So it is Cain? I was just guessing. How long until someone proclaims him HERO OF THE IMPERIUM?

Also, you can afford to get bloodstains on your uniform, Miss Perfect Maid, but the rest of us have stat penalties to worry about, so don't mind if I don't take significant physical damage if forced.

Henrietta dawdles in an attempt to clear up a bit of the mess in the basement, and makes it to the surface only just in time to see Mariam collapse. She assumes the worst.

"You did this, didn't you!?!" she accuses the man in red-and-black, "You killed our Mariam! And all she was doing was trying to bring you a snack! What a rude man!"

Spoiler

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Should I roll for the minor cleaning in the basement?

[Talkkno]

The political officer was slightly shocked at the circumstance of events that just took place, the last thing he remembering happening was jumping into a Nercon portal with Jurgen and a bunch of other Imperial Guardsmen, attempting to flee from the doomed world as it was being invaded by the Tyranids while simulationaly awakening the Nercons. Then falling into a strange new world that at least was breathable and mpt freezing cold. At least he got some free snacks, not too bad all things considered that death to moments away seconds before.

He gently took at the look at the girl that fell before him, ignoring the cries of Henrietta at the moment. As he tried to get her up while subtly attempting to pry the bolt pistol from her hand.
"She's fine, looks like she got hit from some kind really low intensity las weapon, considering she got a direct hit to the torso, even a las pistol would left a nice missing chunk of your chest with a shot there." He said, as he put away his chainsword but kept his las pistol close at hand.
(Athelics check, 5x3=15)

Spoiler

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Don't worry about rolling for cleaning, but just by the way, the tech-priest isn't dead.

[Nerd-o-rama]

"......."

Rikka stares at the newcomers for a bit before going back to the basement and stomping on what's left of the tech-priest. Even with her determined glaring, it's not very effective.

(1x4 Will = 4. Halp?)

[Talkkno]

Rikka stomped and glared with all her might with little effect, as she heard the rebreather breathe in and out steadily, though with some discomfort. The labtory much the same as before.

[First Speaker]

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Sorry that this is interrupting the sequence of events slightly. Btw, roll 5 * Will 5 to keep control of the gun, and seize the initiative on Cain.

Just as the officer bends over to see to Mariam, there is a click.

You would seem to know what was going on. I apologise for this, but people who know things have seemed to be hazardous to the life of the master on no less than two occasions, today. Please state your business.

The young woman rises slowly, much more easily than her 'condition' would suggest, keeping a drawn bolt pistol perfectly steady. The pistol is aimed directly at his chest. It menaces with spikes of adamantine. On the pistol is an image of an eagle in rose gold. The eagle is rampant.

[Talkkno]

Cain was suprised that girl was able to resist his attempt, as he looked the other way for the moment.
"Well, there's no need for voilence here...that bolt pistol would tear your fingers off if your lucky, it's made for a Space Marines." Cain said dimplotacittly as he ate a biscut in one hand keeping his las pistol firmly in his hand.
"Well, my name is Ciaphas Cain, Commassiar for the 572th Vallhean regiment, i jumped into a Nercon portal and i ended up here, interesting weapon you got there, worlds this low tech don't usaully get them unless your a goverener of some sort." He remarked.

[First Speaker]

You're a soviet military official ... in the asatru afterlife? I apologise, but I am somewhat sceptical.

[Talkkno]

"Soviet? What are you talking about, my only allegience is the Imperium of Man and the Emperor." He said in the most officailly sounding tone as possible.
"Must be on some backwards Imperial world in another Segtumetum." He thought.
"Under the authoriy invested to me by the Commasrait, I demand to see the plantary governer." He said with a hint of implict threat and air of authority.

[Ascension]

While Henrietta is pleased to find that Mariam is not dead, she is still unwilling to give this strange fellow the benefit of the doubt.

"There is no planetary governor here, creepy man," Henrietta informs him, "I don't know what planet you're from, but this planet is divided into a great number of sovereign nations, each independently governed. No one man has the power to unite them all."

[First Speaker]

Well, hmph. We'll take you to what constitutes our planetary governor - the master of this place - he may want to hear of your arrival.

She walks slowly behind him, not aiming at him, but not stowing the bolt pistol, either. She gestures for him to enter the house.

[Talkkno]

"Very well." Cain follows her reluctantly, as he taps his vox bead to see if he could pick Jurgen on any frequency.

[Talkkno]

As Rikka countiued to stomp on the tech-preist with little effect, a shining bright flash of red energy dumped a few people directly onto the floor. Most of them welded some type of laser rifle that the robots where using, sporting a hard shell type body armor supplented with soft parts threwout, expect for one. He was really ugly, and a bit older then the rest with a dumb look on his face, not to mention a god awful smell that permanenced the entire dank labtoary, as he held some kind of anti tank device, handled quite easily despite its bulk. the others soldiers got up looking at their immediate surroundings, the smelly one tapping on his vox bead.
"Commassir, where are you?" As he soon took a notice at Rikka.

[Nerd-o-rama]

"Think he's upstairs," Rikka reports. "Take off your shoes first," she adds if they head for the stairs, as she stomps on the fallen tech-priest again.

[Talkkno]

"Jurgen where are you?" Cain inquired as he stopped moving, tapping onto his vox bead as he got the message.
____________________________________________
"I'm some kind tech-priest shrine, there's some juvie that says your right on top of me sir. Verification of information sir." Jurgen replied, as his fellow soldiers stood at attention.
__________________________________________________ ____
"If she's wearing some frilly uniform, get the frak up here, I'm need backup." Cain murmured back.
__________________________________________________ _
Jurgen nodded his head, to the other Guardsmen, as they followed where Rikka pointed. Finding the polticial officer held at gunpoint.
"Drop that bolt pistol little girl!" Tylent screamed, holding his lasgun pointed firmly at Mariam. As the others did the same.
"Comassiar, what seems to the be problem?" Jurgen asked calmly, ignoring his fellow Guardsman.

[First Speaker]

Pardon me, sir, but I would like to know why we have an ever growing invasion force that has been, well, just chilling out at the master's house.

She shifts her footing, keeping Cain between her and the guardsmen.

I do not wish to hurt anyone, but, if anyone poses a threat to our master, I'll go down shooting. As such, I've, erm, taken a bargaining chip. Do you really want to lose him - your commander? If not, let us all drop our weapons, and bargain, like adults.

She smiles hopefully.

Spoiler

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Roll 2 x Will 5 = 10 for persuasion.

[Ascension]

Henrietta's eyes go big and watery.

"Please, kind sirs, there's no reason to shoot anyone! Can't we all just get along? That would be nice. And it's nice to be nice, isn't it?"

Spoiler

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4(roll)x4(affection)=12

[Talkkno]

"She has a point, men stand down.' Cain ordered, as his men followed grudely, as they dropped their lasguns.
"Their seems to be a misunderstanding. Pardon Tylent, he is the lieutenant for the squad of soldiers you see here. Can you tell us what is the name of this planet." Cain remarked, as the smell seemed to be getting worse as the heat wore on.

[Ascension]

"Why it's Earth, of course," Henrietta replies.

[First Speaker]

Rummaging around under her uniform, Mariam produced several large, heavy, menacing looking METAL BOXES, and placed them in some arms dealer's conception of the tower of Hanoi. Atop this, she laid the bolt pistol, and smiled.

Thankyou for being reasonable. Anyway, yes; Earth - third planet of the Solar System, Orion Arm of the Milky Way Spiral Galaxy. And you would be from? Such knowledge helps, in the absence of a calling card.

[Talkkno]

"Sir, Earth in the term used for Holy Terra before the even the Dark Age of techonly.." Jurgen remarked, causing everyone but him to stare blankly into disbelief.
"Thats impossble, Holy Terra should be swathed with ships of Battlefleet Solar, catherals and weapons system should lie endless abound as far as they eye can see." Tylen repilied is disbelief.
"Well then, I guess where time travlers." Cain replied in a frank manner with a small sigh.

[First Speaker]

So, we've got a visit from a pack of - possibly deluded, possibly more enlightened than we know - time travellers. I'll go and inform the powers that be here.

Picking her way across the lasguns, Mariam heads off in search of Kono.

Upon finding him, she bows, and launches into a professional maid-mode.
Sir; you have guests. Previously armed, but now somewhat less beweaponed, guests. They appear to be from some sort of dark and grim future. Shall I show them in?

[Talkkno]

Hira got up from his bed, as his nap was soundly interrpurted.
"Well, might as well show them in, get them some food, and did you guys find out anything from the basement? Where is everyone else?" He asked

[Ascension]

Though Henrietta is still somewhat suspicious of the strange visitors, she invites them inside to wait in the grand hall while Mariam speaks with The God Emperor of the Mansion The Planetary Governor Master Kono.