AMEN XXVII: You all saw it, the orphanage attacked US!

[Darkcomet]

My player had ISP troubles. He's fine now. Even better, in fact. The ISP was having trouble, causing his Internet connection to be crap. It's fixed now.

Darkcomet, Decker still attached, floats over to the mailbox.

More poisoned candy!? Who the hell keeps sending it? Ah well.

Darkcomet offers the candy to Decker.

[happyturtle]

"Yay! Poison candy!" Decker pours curdled milk over it and digs in. "I've got some more of the non-poison stuff for you." A box of gummy bears falls out of a portal in front of DC.

[PirateMonk]

"When did eating candy become a villainous act?"

[Darkcomet]

Darkcomet puts the box in his pocket for later.

We really need to find out who keeps sending that candy.

After PM talks, Darkcomet looks over to him.

I keep getting poison candy from someone. I don't know who, but Decker is immune to poison, so I just let her have it.

[PirateMonk]

"Why are you wasting perfectly good poisoned candy on a swan? There are children in hospitals that need that candy."

[happyturtle]

Are you sure the sick children aren't the ones who sent the candy in the first place?

[Darkcomet]

I need those hospitals. Doing that would ruin my reputation with them, and, well, hospitals are my method of resurrection.

((When Darkcomet dies, the corpse flies to a hospital, where he comes back as if nothing ever happened. Even after being nuked.))

@Decker:

Why would sick children in hospitals have poison candy?

[PirateMonk]

Why would sick children in hospitals have poison candy?

"Because real supervillains sent it to them, of course."

[Darkcomet]

Okay, better question.

Why would sick children in hospitals send me poison candy?

[happyturtle]

Because they saw you flying in and out and thought it would be funny?

[PirateMonk]

"Because they've somehow mistaken you for an evil person, I suppose."

[Darkcomet]

How would they know our address?

[PirateMonk]

"Uh... one of them followed you pack from the hospital and found us?"

[happyturtle]

Don't be silly. Sick children can't fly. They used Google. See? Decker takes off her cloak to have fingers again, and types in 'AMEN's secret lair address'. Every result on the first page shows the correct address.

[Saurous]

"This here base is also on top of a freaking volcano valcano, so it isn't really that hard to find."

[Darkcomet]

But why do they have so damn much poison candy?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"Plus all the explosions are kind of hard to miss."

Fullbladder doesn't look up from his paper, whose main headline mentions something about giant robots destroying Montreal. He turns to the (un)funny pages.

"Child hospitals get vast amounts of poisoned goods, mostly from people who fancy themselves evil, but don't have the class to be villains. People like PirateMonk was talking about. It's better just to ignore them."

[Phase]

Phase, hearing Piratemonk's conjecture, looks around for the telltale child. Phase hates children, ever since he learned they are useless when it comes to evil.

[sheepofoblivion]

((ISP troubles weren't quite over, it seems. They're over now.))

DC sees Decker.

....

He looks at Sheep.

.....

Sheep floats over his own pot of boiling tar, and is dropped into it.

sheep's dead body is dumped into the vat of tar.

A new sheep comes out, thinks about a very bad joke based on the above posts, but decides against it.

[Uncle Festy]

Decker wakes up and has zombie for breakfast.

It is very tasty. The socks taste like gummy bears.

Uncle walks in. "Hm… what evil acts to perpetrate today…"

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok zips by from out of nowhere.

Oh! I know! Let's mix Mentos and Diet Coke in Saur's laundry and...Oh damn, he's not here yet.

Let's target Phase! He's the next grumpiest person around!

[PirateMonk]

"Is that evil or ebil?"

[Lord Magtok]

It depends. Is an estimated total of 500 NPC deaths evil?

[Mr. Moon]

"Only if one of them is a PC, or an NPC paladin. Or if all of them are paladins. If they're just commoners, it's just lame."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok quickly glances at a sheet of paper, and adds some zeroes to the end of the number of Mentos.

Assuming we can set up somewhere near NO or GloG, we'll get all three.

[Phase]

Phase glances up from his four dimensional crossword puzzle.

"Wait, set it up near where and where?" He asks, still in denial of the existance of other organizations.

[Haruki-kun]

"I would like to say I am totally behind this experiment. In fact I would very much like to add the mentos."

Haruki looks like he's still dazed from the potion, but at least he's on his feet.

[Darkcomet]

Darkcomet takes out a bag of poison mentos.

I was saving these for Decker, but this sounds too fun to pass up.

[sheepofoblivion]

sheep takes out a giant keg of Coco-Cola.

I really don't know why I carry that around....

[happyturtle]

Yay! Can I help?