Ultimate Bureaucracy

[sidhe_blooded]

5 days? So you got brought over what, Like a day before Edmund died?
Nicolai says in surprise.

The son of a bitch, I swear to god he planned it, even needing the money, if I didn't owe Stone so much I would just skip town

Well that explains why your english is so spotty. Kinko look, if you're gonna be working here we gotta get you speaking english, maybe I could help give you lessons, what are your plans for tonight?

Maybe I can get Dufrane of Left to take him out, if the guy would just loosen up I'm sure he'd pick things up pretty quick, he seems to understand more than he can speak anyway.

Nicolai gives up on the computer for now, stretching and cracking his knuckles.

Mr. Left, if you're going down to the noodle shop would you mind picking me up something to eat?

[drum-n-bass]

If you guys are hungry,and if we have the necessary equipment I need, I can whip up anything you can imagine. I was a flapjack diner owner in Adapa. And I learned from the bests, all from the tv. he says with a big smile sitting down on a chair and putting his hands behind his head.

[An Enemy Spy]

"I know 3 things. Gambling, Drinking, and more gambling. If anyone feels like going out on the town with a buddy, I'm your man."
As if I'd let myself be seen with dorks like you

[13_CBS]

5 days? So you got brought over what, Like a day before Edmund died?
Nicolai says in surprise.
Well that explains why your english is so spotty. Kinko look, if you're gonna be working here we gotta get you speaking english, maybe I could help give you lessons, what are your plans for tonight?

Kinko

Kinko stares at the floor blankly for a moment, trying to process the English that was thrown at him. Eventually, he got the gist of it.

"Hai! I-I would be onored!"¹

He thinks for a moment...

"No doing anyting this night...where we meet?"²

<And once I master this stupid language, the company will be mine! MINE! A HA HA HA HA HA--oh crap did I just say that out loud?>

He then looks around the area, noticing that no one other than Nicolai seems to be doing anything than talking or grumbling about food and music.

"Sumima--" <Damn it!> "Err, exukyusu me, but...no woruku?"³ The last part is said with the slightest hint of annoyance.

Spoiler

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Translation:
¹: "Yes! I-I would be honored!"
²: "I'm not doing anything tonight. Where will we meet?"
³: "Excuse--" "Err, excuse me, but...are we not going to work?"

[sidhe_blooded]

That sounds... great, though I kinda doubt that the factory has a top quality kitchen Mr. Clambet.

Flapjacks? What is that code for crack or something?

Nicolai turns to Devon

Perhaps the two of us could take Mr. Takemono out tonight, get him acquainted with the culture.

And maybe I'll be able to get a read on what you're all about as well

How does that sound Kinko?

If he's only been here for 5 days, how come he's supposed to know all the in's and out's of the company?

((still directed towards Kinko))
How about showing us around the factory? It might help us get our bearings.

[drum-n-bass]

Please, Call me Jacques. he says starting to fall asleep to show his boredom.

[MrEdwardNigma]

He catches up with Earl not forgetting his guitar, "Hey man, you know where there's like a cafeteria around here?"

Just as Earl was walking out the door he turned round.
"Oh, yeah... There's that noodle place Kinko goes to, but me and Andy head to Wendy's diner every noon. Not the other fellas though, they just eats their sandwiches they made at home"

"I could, errrrr, show you guys the diner if you like, 'n maybe give you all a tour of the factory?"
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Nicolai started looking through the information on the computer. He soon realised this was going to take him all day and all night, and even that would only give him a faint idea of what was going on. He'd never seen such messy accountancy.

[sidhe_blooded]

Nicolai turns to Earl

That would be most appreciated Mr....?

At least this one speaks english, and he might something about Stone's motivation

I think that Mr. Left could use a bite to eat as well.

And maybe a shower

[Blockhead]

Will

"Yeah... er... food is like... good. I'm for noodles... or pancakes... or flapjacks... or wendy's.... So erm... Earl, where's the... urm... like... the hotel?" Asked Will, slowly nodding off at times.

[MrEdwardNigma]

"So, errrr, you guys want a tour first or food, or, errrr..."

"Yeah... er... food is like... good. I'm for noodles... or pancakes... or flapjacks... or wendy's.... So erm... Earl, where's the... urm... like... the hotel?"

"The... hotel, sirs? You need a hotel to stay at? I, errr, assumed you bigwigs had made reservations or something... Only thing you could get into on such short notice are the seedier places"

Earl really did seem to be getting uncomfortable now. So many bosses, and they were all staring at him. He never felt quite as worried with Mr. Thatcher.

[An Enemy Spy]

"I've got a house in this city, you can crash there tonight."
To Earl, "Where is the nearest discotech and casino?"

[imp_fireball]

"Spare me your hippy junk. I was referring to real music." Devon looks around for a sterio.

Alex looks as if he's been mildly slapped in the face.

"Dude... Duuuuuuude! This is real music: It comes from the heart and soul. Like, the center of the whole harmonical/expressive paradigm, dude."

Looking down for a half a second,

"Or... wait. I only brought my guitar with me. I guess I can't count on anyone to fill for drum and rythm. Sorry, guess I totally flaked for a second there, dude."

Scratching his beard at what Earl told him,

"Well then, I'm off to wendys, later."

At Nicolai, "No problem, man."

Sticking his head through the door to the office, just prior to leaving,
"You don't mind if I collapse in the office tonight or anything?" Not waiting for an answer, he says, "Seeya!"

[An Enemy Spy]

The soul? More like the bong.
"Are we actually gonna do any work? Cuz if not, I'm going home. You can come too, sleepy man."

[13_CBS]

Kinko

Noting that some of the owners are feeling sleepy, Kinko offers, "Uh, exucusu me, if you needu beds, uh, make bed out of boxu and uh...uh..."¹ He gropes looks around for the object in question, and finally finds some packaging peanuts on the floor.

"Thisu! Bery soft, Bery comportabu in boxu."

Spoiler

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Translations:
¹: "Uh, excuse me, if you need beds, you can make them out of boxes and..."
²: "This! It's very soft, and feels quite comfortable in boxes."

[An Enemy Spy]

"Um, no. I think I'll take my my chances with my soft warm bed. This is your last chance to come with me sleepy man."
Devon walks out the door.

Spoiler

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You can come if you want Will

[sidhe_blooded]

Great, pot heads, cooks and employees that barely speak english

Well I guess we should get started on the tour since Mr. Left is making the food run for us
Nicolai says to Earl, gesturing for him to lead the way.

I hope those packing peanuts are as soft as Kinko claims, at least I might be able to make some sense of the computer if I'm stuck here all night

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Off course, sir" Earl said, walking out of the office. Anyone who wishes can follow the tour. Earl stopped on the platform outside the conference room.

"Well now, this here is where Mr. Thatcher liked to stand and look down on us working down there. He wasn't much of an office man, he let the chink do that, but as you can see he was always near the phone, in case Edmund would call"
Earl pointed out the phone that had been placed on a small table near the wall.

"Down there" said Earl, pointing at the factory floor below, "is where I work, with Andy and the others". One of the men downstairs waved at them, or more specifically at Earl, and Earl gave him a nod.
"That's Andy. He's one of the best we've got. That plastic box there he's holding is filled with packaging peanuts, which he's taking to the storage"
Earl pointed over at the left wall, down the stairs, where a bunch of cardboard boxes stood, all loaded with the peanuts.
"We're running out of storage space, really, all the boxes are nearly full, eh?"
Earl laughed uncomfortably.

"Anyways, that machine the others are working down there produces the peanuts. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but that's for them engineer fellows to worry about, eh? Right now, I'll take you downstairs"

Earl went down the metal stairs and stopped directly beneath the platform they had been standing on where the truck was parked.

"This here is Mutha's truck. He's supposed to drive the peanuts outta here, but we haven't seen him around in a while now, that lazy bastard. Word to the wise, mister businessman, if he comes back, you fire that monkey. He never lifts a finger, he's rude, filthy and I think he's on them drugs"

"Anyways, behind the truck are some more rooms. That over there are the toilets, but I'm sure I don't need to show you around those, that's the basement, but I haven't a key so I can't show you that either and, errrrrr, well, I guess I'll just show you the last room then"

Earl led the way to the third door. It was a storage room, stacked with cardboard boxes.
"This here used to be where we took our coffeebreaks. You can still see the table under all that mess, and I'm sure there's other stuff too. Andy says he's still got a set of clothes lying in there, but I think he's just jestin'. Anyways, the boxes are a shipment of packaging peanuts that were returned to sender. They all just showed up on the doorstep one day, and we had nowhere else to put them..."
He scratched his head.

"So, if anyone wants to go see Wendy's, me and Andy are going there during the noon, that's in, errr, about two hours, I believe"
---------------------------------------------------------
Current statistics:
Worker productivity: -5%
Losses: None
Profit: None
Income: None
Current contracts: None
Businesspartners: None
Storage: Full

[sidhe_blooded]

Where was Mr. Mutha supposed to drive the boxes to?

If it's somewhere nearby I'm sure one of my new partners will be able to take them where they need to go

Who would have the key to the basement?

If I have to pick the lock at a building I own I might just go insane

[drum-n-bass]

Following along with the tour, Jacques scratches his head in amazement of how they can run a company so chaotically and unorganized. I'll go to Wendy's with you too , I'm getting kinda hungry.

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Aren't you supposed to know that? Anyways, I didn't talk to Mutha, so don't ask me. As for the basement key, it's been lost for a while. I don't know who has it... Errrr, is this bad? Me 'n Andy, we had nuthin' to do with it, I swear!"

He looked up at Jaqcues.
"That's great, Mister boss. We'll see you in two hours then. I'll be goin' back to work now, if y'all don't mind"

[drum-n-bass]

Staring at the basement door, Jacques comes up with an idea I could try to break the door down, if you want. Maybe we could then move the boxes from the coffee room to the basement.

[An Enemy Spy]

"Good idea, I'm sure that all lumber jacks carry axes around with them."

[MrEdwardNigma]

((For clarification's sake, is Devon going home or is he still there?
Also, you should remember it's still morning.))

[An Enemy Spy]

Spoiler

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He was going home, but then decided to take the tour.

[drum-n-bass]

Well, I'm not a true lumberjack, but I have one in my truck, I'll be back soon. going out to his orange Datsun, Jacques searches through his toolbox and pulls out a somewhat sharp axe. Returning inside he proceeds to hack away at the door till it breaks into little tiny splinters.

[MrEdwardNigma]

The axe did little but scare the workers. The metal door would not sway.

[An Enemy Spy]

"I take it that the new door is coming out Jauques' wallet, right?"

[13_CBS]

Kinko

Kinko watches Jacques try to bring down the door, and can only stare.

<I guess they're trying to make their way in, but I don't know who has the key, either...>

Then, a little lightbulb goes off in his head.

In the commotion, Kinko makes his way over to Mr. Thatcher and tries to sift through his straw body, looking for any suspicious objects embedded within. He does his best not to ruin the body.

[sidhe_blooded]

Hold on, let me go get something out of my car

Nicolai runs out to his car and gets his set of lock picks. When he gets back inside he proceeds to attempt to pick the lock.

I was hoping to do this without anyone seeing, but if they're gonna try to demolish the place then I guess it's gotta be now

[MrEdwardNigma]

Nicolai pushed Jacques aside and fumbled with the lock for a while, until it finally opened with a dry click.

"Dang, what are you guys, criminals or sumthin'?" Andy asked, as he looked at the huge man with the axe and the smaller man with the lockpicks.
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Mr. Thatcher contains nothing but straw.