[FWM] One Life to Pony: MLP Without the Kiddy Thread 8

[HalfTangible]

Esmeralda for her part, did not notice the two. She was in ice-cream heaven now.

Hay Bale had lived her entire life in a city full of people with very serious mental health problems, ranging from the relatively mild stallions obsessed with jelly to the extreme Richard-style psychopaths.

Just... wanted to give some context.

She teleported into the building, screaming. ICY! Stop! She cried, slapping away the ice cream tub and gripping Es by the shoulders. Don't do it! You have so much to live for! I know, I know, there are worse ways to die than choking, drowning and/or suffocating on ice cream, but you got somepony that loves you and you don't hear voices that give themselves eldritch names everywhere you go!!

[Benson]

"Ah hat, maybe. Or some ribbon. Do you want something?" asks the fae to the pegasus.

"Oh...uh...I dunno, I didn't really consider getting myself something aside from something for my plants," She said a little sheepishly.

The pony keeps his eyes on his bits, halfway ignoring the colt."Yes, I am. Scheduling a photo shoot. I have no room for today. Tomorrow maybe."

"Oh uh, I'm not here for a uh photo shoot. Grills sent me, sorta," He replied, admittedly a little intimidated.
===========


"Oh Luna stab me with her horn...!" He uttered some other nonsense, mostly unintelligible sounds as he made an exaggerated expression of wtfness.

He galloped after Hay Bale, though he wasn't sure what he was going to do at this point. Dang crazy mares.

[MCerberus]

"... No thanks," Tyrol said hurriedly, tossing his share of the bill onto the plate.

With the bill taken care of, Staccata slinks over towards Tyrol before taking him by the hoof in an attempt to escape this nightmarish place never to return. Or just put some distance between them and the soup. Either way.

[Grif]

Hay Bale had lived her entire life in a city full of people with very serious mental health problems, ranging from the relatively mild stallions obsessed with jelly to the extreme Richard-style psychopaths.

Just... wanted to give some context.

She teleported into the building, screaming. ICY! Stop! She cried, slapping away the ice cream tub and gripping Es by the shoulders. Don't do it! You have so much to live for! I know, I know, there are worse ways to die than choking, drowning and/or suffocating on ice cream, but you got somepony that loves you and you don't hear voices that give themselves eldritch names everywhere you go!!

Esmeralda was about to spoon another mouthful of ice-cream when a blur knocked away her tub of ice-cream and sent the spoonful of ice-cream splat on her face. She sat there, speechless and blinking through ice-cream on her face, as the crazy mare in front of her shook her by the shoulders.

"What?" she finally said, after Hay Bale said her piece.

With the bill taken care of, Staccata slinks over towards Tyrol before taking him by the hoof in an attempt to escape this nightmarish place never to return. Or just put some distance between them and the soup. Either way.

Unsurprisingly, Tyrol didn't resist. He briefly contemplated whether it would be ethical to burn down the building and arrest the owners for arson. Fortunately, his rational mind shot down the idea.

[HalfTangible]

Esmeralda was about to spoon another mouthful of ice-cream when a blur knocked away her tub of ice-cream and sent the spoonful of ice-cream splat on her face. She sat there, speechless and blinking through ice-cream on her face, as the crazy mare in front of her shook her by the shoulders.

"What?" she finally said, after Hay Bale said her piece.

STOP TRYING TO DIE BY DROWNING YOURSELF IN ICE CREAM!! She elaborated.

[Benson]

Fox Trot stumbled into the ice cream parlor catching the last bits if what Hay Bale said to 'Es'.

"She's not drowning herself in ice cream...she's...its..a pregnant thing ya dope of a mare.." He said, exasperated. He then froze, faster than ice cream as all eyes were on the three of them. Damn it. Curse his betraying tongue. Regret. Full of it he was.

"Me and my damn mouth..." He face hooved.

[MCerberus]

Unsurprisingly, Tyrol didn't resist. He briefly contemplated whether it would be ethical to burn down the building and arrest the owners for arson. Fortunately, his rational mind shot down the idea.

Staccata also wonders if the place can be destroyed and the owner punished for his evil, but the place has too large a line for them to be a patsy for a framed arson. After they're a comfortable distance away, she stops.

"Needless to say I liked that place before the soup thing."

[Grif]

STOP TRYING TO DIE BY DROWNING YOURSELF IN ICE CREAM!! She elaborated.

"But I was not trying to—"

Fox Trot stumbled into the ice cream parlor catching the last bits if what Hay Bale said to 'Es'.

"She's not drowning herself in ice cream...she's...its..a pregnant thing ya dope of a mare.." He said, exasperated. He then froze, faster than ice cream as all eyes were on the three of them. Damn it. Curse his betraying tongue. Regret. Full of it he was.

"Me and my damn mouth..." He face hooved.

Esmeralda froze as well, her ears drooping rapidly as the weight of responsibility reappeared in her mind. "... bloody hell..." she swore softly. She had gorged on ice-cream precisely because she wanted to forget the whole pregnancy thing. Also, craving may had something to do with it as well. But mostly trying to forget.

Staccata also wonders if the place can be destroyed and the owner punished for his evil, but the place has too large a line for them to be a patsy for a framed arson. After they're a comfortable distance away, she stops.

"Needless to say I liked that place before the soup thing."

"... I can't tell," Tyrol said, glancing back at the restaurant. "Shall we just move on and find a more decent place to eat?"

[MCerberus]

"... I can't tell," Tyrol said, glancing back at the restaurant. "Shall we just move on and find a more decent place to eat?"

"Well I don't-" Staccata almost comments passing by the local ice cream shop where something weird is going on. It's about this time her brain turns off any thought of food as a self-defense mechanism.

"Suddenly not hungry."

[Kelvin360]

"Oh, it's not that big a deal. It's a good story, 'n I can't really think of any ways ya might do something wrong with it." Blades chuckled. "Well, if this 'horn' thing ya're talkin' about comes for ya, I'll be there to watch ya take him down, at least. I'll let ya handle him if ya want, but if ya're not prepared, ya might not stand quite as good a chance as I would, so I'll help ya if ya really need it. Just 'cause ya want to fight yar own battles doesn't mean ya have to do it alone, right?"

"Well I suppose so. But I'm probably worrying over nothing. I don't even know if Horne is still alive."

[Orzel]

"Oh...uh...I dunno, I didn't really consider getting myself something aside from something for my plants," She said a little sheepishly.

Loch looks at Aubade sternly and points at her stiffly."Your servitude has ruined your sense of selfishness. Let us fillies try out clothes. An' ye Will buy somethin'."

"Oh uh, I'm not here for a uh photo shoot. Grills sent me, sorta," He replied, admittedly a little intimidated.

"Oh. He did say the investor was young." Bruce slides the coins down into the drawers. The big pink-maned pony offers a hoof for a shake. "Name is Big Bruce. I own this place. Bottom is a photo studio. Classy outfit. In this crazy mixed up world, a picture of a loved one is a priceless thing. Above is a clothing store. The extra layers can make those last moments so intimate." Despite the slight pervertedness of the last statement, there is hidden sorrow in his talk about photography. "Just need a new camera and somepony to manage the supplies. Can you help me, Mister..."

[Benson]

Loch looks at Aubade sternly and points at her stiffly."Your servitude has ruined your sense of selfishness. Let us fillies try out clothes. An' ye Will buy somethin'."

Aubade just furrowed her brows and softly sighed. "Very well Miss Lochbed."

"Oh. He did say the investor was young." Bruce slides the coins down into the drawers. The big pink-maned pony offers a hoof for a shake. "Name is Big Bruce. I own this place. Bottom is a photo studio. Classy outfit. In this crazy mixed up world, a picture of a loved one is a priceless thing. Above is a clothing store. The extra layers can make those last moments so intimate." Despite the slight pervertedness of the last statement, there is hidden sorrow in his talk about photography. "Just need a new camera and somepony to manage the supplies. Can you help me, Mister..."

"Mr uh..Sol, E-Ember Sol," He responded a bit on the hesitant side.

[Grif]

"Well I don't-" Staccata almost comments passing by the local ice cream shop where something weird is going on. It's about this time her brain turns off any thought of food as a self-defense mechanism.

"Suddenly not hungry."

"... I suppose we can take that walk we talked about just now then..." Tyrol said, quickly moving away from the ice-cream shop.

[MCerberus]

"... I suppose we can take that walk we talked about just now then..." Tyrol said, quickly moving away from the ice-cream shop.

Staccata trots along after a moment of staring at the scene inside that shop. It's like a carriage wreck... you shouldn't look but... A bit later she's caught up but still wondering why this town is conspiring to ruin food.

[Benson]

Balboa Shag-His Canterlot Estate



"Well, that is quite some interesting information," Balboa grinned as he spoke into his phone mounted on his desk. At the moment it was set to speaker mode. "Yes, yes, well thank you for this, I will......make sure to deal with this."

Well that was interesting, finding out one of the Generals, just defected from the Dark Forces, and to find out it was that zerg freak, Mystic Blade, even more interesting. He pulled out his dossier on the ex general, and for clarification, he did indeed have dossiers on all the generals, including the previous dead ones. He needed to, to keep tabs on them, well, at least still for the ones who were alive. Every other day, he updated them, and Mystic's defection was up for being part of her updated dossier.

After a short conversation with his informer from within the organization, he hung up and thought about what he would do about this new and valuable information. A cheshire smile formed on his face.

[Orzel]

Aubade just furrowed her brows and softly sighed. "Very well Miss Lochbed."

"Show some enthusiasm. To the hat shop, driva!" shouts the fae before the cab speeds down the street.

"Mr uh..Sol, E-Ember Sol," He responded a bit on the hesitant side.

"Speak up, Ember. Show some fire. People will stomp all overall you if you give them an inch." says the big pony. His slams his hooves on the counter and points to the leaving mare. "Hey Ms. Winkybird. Make sure to come back, tomorrow. Okay."

The little mare squeaks. "Yes, Mr Big Bruce." she says before darting away.

[Benson]

"Show some enthusiasm. To the hat shop, driva!" shouts the fae before the cab speeds down the street.

Of course, Aubade can't help but follow with a yelp in concern of her safety and the safety of the poor ponies.

"Speak up, Ember. Show some fire. People will stomp all overall you if you give them an inch." says the big pony. His slams his hooves on the counter and points to the leaving mare. "Hey Ms. Winkybird. Make sure to come back, tomorrow. Okay."

The little mare squeaks. "Yes, Mr Big Bruce." she says before darting away.

"Yea..okay...so......yea, anyhoof, essentially, I'm going to help your business, by investing in it, though I'm sure you know this already," He said scratching his chin.

[Orzel]

Of course, Aubade can't help but follow with a yelp in concern of her safety and the safety of the poor ponies.

After another scary ride, the girls arrive at a hat shaped hat shop. Lochbed leaps into the air with two bits for the driver and speeds into the store. "Yay Hats!"

"Yea..okay...so......yea, anyhoof, essentially, I'm going to help your business, by investing in it, though I'm sure you know this already," He said scratching his chin.

"Yes. Grills informed me.

For a fair bit of bits, I will give you 10% of the business and thus 10% of the profits. My only terms is that I have final say over who you sell your part of the business to.


In addition. I have an issue with supply, demand, and cost. If you can figure out which of my lingerie brands and dress styles to cut out, I will pay you three months of saving upfront. And just don't choose the skimpy and revealing ones to keep. I need the real fat trimmed. The expensive low sellers and ones with poor profit. Can you agree to those terms."

[PurityIcekiller]

"Well I suppose so. But I'm probably worrying over nothing. I don't even know if Horne is still alive."

"Well, the way I intend it, if this 'horn' or whatever comes for ya, he won't be alive much longer!" Blades laughed. "Whether ya're ready for him or I handle him, he's not makin' it very far! ...Say, who is he?"

[Kelvin360]

"Well, the way I intend it, if this 'horn' or whatever comes for ya, he won't be alive much longer!" Blades laughed. "Whether ya're ready for him or I handle him, he's not makin' it very far! ...Say, who is he?"

"...Insanely magically prodigious unicorn wizard with a penchant for cold-blooded torture and breaking metaphysical boundaries in half and say what's that over there?" She pointed a hoof at a nearby random object, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of her head.

[Benson]

After another scary ride, the girls arrive at a hat shaped hat shop. Lochbed leaps into the air with two bits for the driver and speeds into the store. "Yay Hats!"

Aubade just sighs watching the kelpie dash into the quirky looking hat store. She thanks the bicyclist in a dry tone and follows after Lochbed into the hat store. She wanly smiles a bit upon seeing the fancy and colorful hats, okay, so maybe getting a hat won't be a total waste of time.

"Yes. Grills informed me.

For a fair bit of bits, I will give you 10% of the business and thus 10% of the profits. My only terms is that I have final say over who you sell your part of the business to.

In addition. I have an issue with supply, demand, and cost. If you can figure out which of my lingerie brands and dress styles to cut out, I will pay you three months of saving upfront. And just don't choose the skimpy and revealing ones to keep. I need the real fat trimmed. The expensive low sellers and ones with poor profit. Can you agree to those terms."

Even though Ember felt a little...sketchy still about the whole...evening wear and lingerie, which for the most part was still weird to him. Mostly, since how ponies were usually naked and had no need for underwear, the image of a mare wearing some....just made the image feel pervy, business was still business and he would just have to suck it up.

"And what to you is a 'fair bit of Bits' that equates to me only getting '10%'?" He asked putting on his 'business' face.

[HalfTangible]

"But I was not trying to—"



Esmeralda froze as well, her ears drooping rapidly as the weight of responsibility reappeared in her mind. "... bloody hell..." she swore softly. She had gorged on ice-cream precisely because she wanted to forget the whole pregnancy thing. Also, craving may had something to do with it as well. But mostly trying to forget.

Hay Bale froze in place. For a long moment, she didn't speak. Then she said, Oh.

...

She laid her head down on the table. Pony Jim, cherry iced donut. Extra sprinkles.

"How did you know my name?"

Muffin button.

"...What?"

What?

[Benson]

Fox Trot-Pony Jim's Ice Cream Parlor-Shenanigans


"I think.......I think...I'll have some vodka ice cream," He said totally out of it shaking his head as he sat down and laid his head on the counter.

[Orzel]

Aubade just sighs watching the kelpie dash into the quirky looking hat store. She thanks the bicyclist in a dry tone and follows after Lochbed into the hat store. She wanly smiles a bit upon seeing the fancy and colorful hats, okay, so maybe getting a hat won't be a total waste of time.

When Aubade enters the shop, she would see a pink blur stream from left and right across the store. "Awbade! Awbade! Awbade! Look a' these hats! Try on this and this and this and this!" Lochbed screams as she barrages Aubade with hats.

A salespony yells. "Hats 50% off!"

A rumbling stirs softly behind the mare servant.

Even though Ember felt a little...sketchy still about the whole...evening wear and lingerie, which for the most part was still weird to him. Mostly, since how ponies were usually naked and had no need for underwear, the image of a mare wearing some....just made the image feel pervy, business was still business and he would just have to suck it up.

"And what to you is a 'fair bit of Bits' that equates to me only getting '10%'?" He asked putting on his 'business' face.

The red pony looks hard at Ember. Bruce rubs his nose and squints. He decides to play dumb as a trick. "5 thousand bits. With that money I can buy a new camera and the same amount of bits a week doing photos for magazines. That's 2,000 bits a month."

[Grif]

Staccata trots along after a moment of staring at the scene inside that shop. It's like a carriage wreck... you shouldn't look but... A bit later she's caught up but still wondering why this town is conspiring to ruin food.

Tyrol quickly and safely led them to the market square, where they were presumably safer and less likely to be caught in some culinary-based disaster. "Um. The market square. Maybe you like to do some shopping?" Tyrol said, leading her to a random store.

Hay Bale froze in place. For a long moment, she didn't speak. Then she said, Oh.

...

She laid her head down on the table. Pony Jim, cherry iced donut. Extra sprinkles.

"How did you know my name?"

Muffin button.

"...What?"

What?

Fox Trot-Pony Jim's Ice Cream Parlor-Shenanigans


"I think.......I think...I'll have some vodka ice cream," He said totally out of it shaking his head as he sat down and laid his head on the counter.

Pony Jim blinked in confusion for a moment, before his bar-keeping reflex kicked in. A few expert mixture later, he served both Fox and Hay Bale their orders, before turning to Esmeralda. "Lady, anything else I can get you?"

"Not unless you can make these two disappear?"

"No can do. Not my speciality."

Esmeralda sighed and laid her head on the table along with the two. "Fine. Just a glass of chocolate milk then."

"Sure."

Without turning, she addressed the two. "What do you want?"

[HalfTangible]

Tyrol quickly and safely led them to the market square, where they were presumably safer and less likely to be caught in some culinary-based disaster. "Um. The market square. Maybe you like to do some shopping?" Tyrol said, leading her to a random store.





Pony Jim blinked in confusion for a moment, before his bar-keeping reflex kicked in. A few expert mixture later, he served both Fox and Hay Bale their orders, before turning to Esmeralda. "Lady, anything else I can get you?"

"Not unless you can make these two disappear?"

"No can do. Not my speciality."

Esmeralda sighed and laid her head on the table along with the two. "Fine. Just a glass of chocolate milk then."

"Sure."

Without turning, she addressed the two. "What do you want?"

Food and for Fox Trot to tell me about Lone Star's fillyfriend. She grinned maniacally at Es. ... You wouldn't happen to know anything, would you?

[Benson]

When Aubade enters the shop, she would see a pink blur stream from left and right across the store. "Awbade! Awbade! Awbade! Look a' these hats! Try on this and this and this and this!" Lochbed screams as she barrages Aubade with hats.

A salespony yells. "Hats 50% off!"

A rumbling stirs softly behind the mare servant.

Aubade instinctively found herself trying to catch all the hats that Lochbed barrages/throws at/her with. She yelps as a jester hat softly thwacks her in the face. She then hears the soft rumbling, and warily and cautiously turns to look.

The red pony looks hard at Ember. Bruce rubs his nose and squints. He decides to play dumb as a trick. "5 thousand bits. With that money I can buy a new camera and the same amount of bits a week doing photos for magazines. That's 2,000 bits a month."

Ember, had no idea what he was really doing, pulling nonsense out his flank, he could totally do that. "Before this goes any further, 2,000 Bits a month for what? Is that how much'll you'll make a month, how much I might make in the month? I don't want vaguely worded nonsense." He feigned a noble-ish 'hmmph'.
================

Without turning, she addressed the two. "What do you want?"

Food and for Fox Trot to tell me about Lone Star's fillyfriend. She grinned maniacally at Es. ... You wouldn't happen to know anything, would you?

Oh Luna [buy some apples] me with her hooves..! He groaned, glaring at his vodka flavored ice cream and then looked at Hay Bale and Es with narrowed eyes.

Fox didn't really want their...little predicament to spread, it was bad enough, Lone Star's psychologist now knew.

[Grif]

Food and for Fox Trot to tell me about Lone Star's fillyfriend. She grinned maniacally at Es. ... You wouldn't happen to know anything, would you?

Oh Luna [buy some apples] me with her hooves..! He groaned, glaring at his vodka flavored ice cream and then looked at Hay Bale and Es with narrowed eyes.

Fox didn't really want their...little predicament to spread, it was bad enough, Lone Star's psychologist now knew.

Esmeralda turned to Hay Bale with a quizzical expression. "Lone Star's fillyfriend?" She debated briefly whether or not to tell. Screw this. It's not like half of the town didn't know anyway. "You're looking at her. Why do you ask?"

[HalfTangible]

Esmeralda turned to Hay Bale with a quizzical expression. "Lone Star's fillyfriend?" She debated briefly whether or not to tell. Screw this. It's not like half of the town didn't know anyway. "You're looking at her. Why do you ask?"

Hay Bale stared openly for about twelve seconds, then looked at Fox Trot, then back at Es. ...Um... what?

[Benson]

Esmeralda turned to Hay Bale with a quizzical expression. "Lone Star's fillyfriend?" She debated briefly whether or not to tell. Screw this. It's not like half of the town didn't know anyway. "You're looking at her. Why do you ask?"

Hay Bale stared openly for about twelve seconds, then looked at Fox Trot, then back at Es. ...Um... what?

Well Fox wasn't going to say anything right now, his mouth was still slightly hanging open as he glared daggers at his ice cream. He sported a look of contempt again.

Actually, no, he did have something to say. "Shenanigans."