LGBTAitp #36: May Contain Bites!

[Chess435]

Oh, no! Will you still be paid?

Nope, no money unless I actually get an assignment.

[SiuiS]

Hey y'all. I posted here a couple times before. I did a two page comic as a joke for some friends in here that seem to not be here anymore. one and two.

Neat! McMallard is weird.

dumb stuff u.u

Spoiler

Show

I'm transgender. Going to my first therapist appointment in a couple days. Kind of nervous. She's kind of locally famous for being really good about signing anything you could want, like a HRT recommendation. But she's kind of expensive and doesn't take insurance. I have really good insurance through my (*cough* wealthy, distant *cough*) father but live mainly with my (not so wealthy) mother... I'm working this summer so I can help cover the costs. My mom has made me promise not to start HRT until I come out to my dad, which I'm hesitant about - he is essentially who Fox News caters to, in terms of political, religious, &c. criteria. He had acute myeloid leukemia and had a bone marrow transplant, from a Sioux woman. So now he makes all these culturally appropriative jokes, as well as transmisogynist and general sexist ones. I can't ever come out to him, I think my mom knows that. So far I've come out to mom and sister, and some friends. They've been better than I could have imagined. But I feel entrapped with this. And I'm super nervous about this appointment. Guh.

And I'm struggling a lot with relationship stuff. I really like my GF a lot, zie's awesome and fantastic and great. Also asexual... Before I came out to myself I thought I was asexual, and then demisexual, but then I realized it was a self-identification thing and I'm not asexual or graysexual or on that spectrum. I just wasn't comfortable with myself at that point. But as I've become more and more comfortable being transgender, my sexuality has... blossomed? And I worry about being way too kinky for zir. Also it's long-distance so I can't really bring it up easily and when I do zie gets uncomfortable so I drop it.

Also zie has lately started saying "I love you" uhm, at the end of conversations and sometimes in the middle and I'm like... I dunno. It's my first relationship. I've only ever told my family I love them. It's a big deal to me to say that. I love my mother and my father and my sister and my uncles and aunts and cousins and dogs and especially my cat and my grandfather and my grandmother... But I'm related to all of them. I can't, the words just, I can't say it unless I mean it and I get really confused when I ask myself if I mean it. I get so much junk from my family about it being an LDR and meeting zir over the internet when my mom does internet dating all the time! Ugh! I end up just getting flustered and being like "you're awesome..." and it sucks cause I want zir to know I care so so much about zir but I can't say "I love you" cause I'm an awful human bean.

sorry just needed to get this off my chest ._.

All good.

Why "zie"? She is your girlfriend and definitely a girl, thereby, right?

As for love and touch... Lets be honest. You're not going to get used to it without trying. Perhaps make the effort? Tell Gf that you are going to try but will do so slowly and will evaluate as you go. GF shoul be fine letting your top for a while if you're uncomfortable.

Romantic style love does feel different than filial love, though. Or paternal love, etc., so don't worry if you don't love your Gf like you love your mom or cats. Some would even say having the same kind of love would be the problem! Jokes aside though, be honest, be open, and make an effort. GF should at least be able to help with the process and possibly let you have leeway to handle it yourself in the parts that GF cannot help with herself.

space issues I guess also it's weird cause you're like rubbing all your germs on someone and they you so then everyone can get sick :P and if you think about it it's just a weird gesture :O

Actually, mechanically, it makes a lot of sense. Without touch of a sort biologically recognized as intimate by the body, you get unwell. And there's a rather large amount of evidence that germ spreading is not a bad thing; anything below health threshold won't make you sick, but will arm you against future sickness.

As for space, well, that's the point. Intimacy is about letting down your guard. If you meet the Gf, ask her to go slow.

Really? I've not heard that. I thought it was rare for trans women to get much above a B, maaaybe a C if you're very well endowed.

I'm hoping for a nice B myself. I hold to the "any more than a handful is a waste" credo :P

Aye. Although I'd always heard 'more than a mouthful'. Different strikes, I suppose~?

[Astrella]

Really? I've not heard that. I thought it was rare for trans women to get much above a B, maaaybe a C if you're very well endowed.

I'm hoping for a nice B myself. I hold to the "any more than a handful is a waste" credo :P

It's very much your mileage may vary, the problem most of us have is that our chests are wider, so they appear smaller. But hey, a friend of mine got a D out of HRT (and has only been on it for a year and a half) and I've heard of more like that, so.

[Karen Lynn]

Once again, I think SiuiS says it best.

[MetDitto]

Why "zie"? She is your girlfriend and definitely a girl, thereby, right?

As for love and touch... Lets be honest. You're not going to get used to it without trying. Perhaps make the effort? Tell Gf that you are going to try but will do so slowly and will evaluate as you go. GF shoul be fine letting your top for a while if you're uncomfortable.

Romantic style love does feel different than filial love, though. Or paternal love, etc., so don't worry if you don't love your Gf like you love your mom or cats. Some would even say having the same kind of love would be the problem! Jokes aside though, be honest, be open, and make an effort. GF should at least be able to help with the process and possibly let you have leeway to handle it yourself in the parts that GF cannot help with herself.

Actually, mechanically, it makes a lot of sense. Without touch of a sort biologically recognized as intimate by the body, you get unwell. And there's a rather large amount of evidence that germ spreading is not a bad thing; anything below health threshold won't make you sick, but will arm you against future sickness.

As for space, well, that's the point. Intimacy is about letting down your guard. If you meet the Gf, ask her to go slow.

zie's genderqueer and prefers zie/zir pronouns

I don't really want to get used to it :O

and letting down your guard only leads to getting hurt in my experience :I

[Halae]

Really? I've not heard that. I thought it was rare for trans women to get much above a B, maaaybe a C if you're very well endowed.

I'm hoping for a nice B myself. I hold to the "any more than a handful is a waste" credo :P

It's what I'm getting from wikipedia, so I really don't know. I want it though.

[Astrella]

Why "zie"? She is your girlfriend and definitely a girl, thereby, right?

I'd assume cause those are zir preferred pronouns.

and I think you're being a bit insensitive...

[Karen Lynn]

zie's genderqueer and prefers zie/zir pronouns

I don't really want to get used to it :O

and letting down your guard only leads to getting hurt in my experience :I

Guess you'llonly kniw how you feel after HRT, after HRT. Right now, it just seems like you're asking for advice you won't need. If you don't want a close, physical, intimate relationship, that's fine.

[Lix Lorn]

Okay, made them popular again.

...

Braz says "yes! Yes there are~"

(snrks)
Tell her to start AIMing again! >: (

[Mina Kobold]

Hey y'all. I posted here a couple times before. I did a two page comic as a joke for some friends in here that seem to not be here anymore. one and two.

dumb stuff u.u

Spoiler

Show

I'm transgender. Going to my first therapist appointment in a couple days. Kind of nervous. She's kind of locally famous for being really good about signing anything you could want, like a HRT recommendation. But she's kind of expensive and doesn't take insurance. I have really good insurance through my (*cough* wealthy, distant *cough*) father but live mainly with my (not so wealthy) mother... I'm working this summer so I can help cover the costs. My mom has made me promise not to start HRT until I come out to my dad, which I'm hesitant about - he is essentially who Fox News caters to, in terms of political, religious, &c. criteria. He had acute myeloid leukemia and had a bone marrow transplant, from a Sioux woman. So now he makes all these culturally appropriative jokes, as well as transmisogynist and general sexist ones. I can't ever come out to him, I think my mom knows that. So far I've come out to mom and sister, and some friends. They've been better than I could have imagined. But I feel entrapped with this. And I'm super nervous about this appointment. Guh.

And I'm struggling a lot with relationship stuff. I really like my GF a lot, zie's awesome and fantastic and great. Also asexual... Before I came out to myself I thought I was asexual, and then demisexual, but then I realized it was a self-identification thing and I'm not asexual or graysexual or on that spectrum. I just wasn't comfortable with myself at that point. But as I've become more and more comfortable being transgender, my sexuality has... blossomed? And I worry about being way too kinky for zir. Also it's long-distance so I can't really bring it up easily and when I do zie gets uncomfortable so I drop it.

Also zie has lately started saying "I love you" uhm, at the end of conversations and sometimes in the middle and I'm like... I dunno. It's my first relationship. I've only ever told my family I love them. It's a big deal to me to say that. I love my mother and my father and my sister and my uncles and aunts and cousins and dogs and especially my cat and my grandfather and my grandmother... But I'm related to all of them. I can't, the words just, I can't say it unless I mean it and I get really confused when I ask myself if I mean it. I get so much junk from my family about it being an LDR and meeting zir over the internet when my mom does internet dating all the time! Ugh! I end up just getting flustered and being like "you're awesome..." and it sucks cause I want zir to know I care so so much about zir but I can't say "I love you" cause I'm an awful human bean.

sorry just needed to get this off my chest ._.

Hmm, I really feel uncomfortable with a parent making their child promise not to begin a medical procedure that will make them happy until they inform someone else of it, particularly when they know this person is like that and has such power over their child. Expecting the usual stress of coming out to anyone is bad enough, but this really sounds like an attempt at finding a way to stop you. >_<

Sorry, shouldn't say that about people I've never interacted with. Sorry! m(_ _)m

As for saying "I love you"; it is your first time in such a relationship, so it is understandable that it feels like a really really big deal. If your only experience with love is familial, then you have very little base for comparison, so don't feel bad about not being ready yet.

I'm going on cultural interpretation, as that phrase is kind of less important here, so feel free to dismiss me or take a few bits of salt with it. ^_^'

thanks for the offers but I really only can stand hugging close family and close friends D: which is another problem, if I ever met up with my GF I'd be distant and not-touchy even though I desperately want to :c

Perfectly understandable, physical contact is kind of intimate. Nobody expects you to want it from anyone just because we sometimes do.

To be honest; I probably would jump if hugged randomly and freeze when done non-randomly, even by most family members. I'm a terrible hug-person. TT_TT

Hush, I deal with enough irrational stuff at home.

Considering my goodnight-message to my parent was "I need a top-hat, a summer dress and a Pikachu about this tall. It's Monday tomorrow!", I shall try to hush. X3

I have also answered "I'm not telling" to a question about whether I am trans. I am both glad and sad that it somehow worked. ._.


On the bra note: I have so little idea what all the letters do that I think I will just acquire a top hat, a neat dress and a Pikachu, and just ask for help. Should be wacky enough to avoid questions. ^_^'

[Eldest]

Considering my goodnight-message to my parent was "I need a top-hat, a summer dress and a Pikachu about this tall. It's Monday tomorrow!", I shall try to hush. X3

I have also answered "I'm not telling" to a question about whether I am trans. I am both glad and sad that it somehow worked. ._.


On the bra note: I have so little idea what all the letters do that I think I will just acquire a top hat, a neat dress and a Pikachu, and just ask for help. Should be wacky enough to avoid questions. ^_^'

But that's an entirely rational request. Why would you think it's irrational?

[Karen Lynn]

I have a sudden desire to make a life size Eevee plushie, place a couple loops on the under side, slip a hairband through the loops, and have an Eevee ride on my head all day.

[tomandtish]

...are you joking? Have you SEEn the chemistry from the original series?
There are Spock/Kirk smutty fanfics older than I a,


ASDGTH AVATAR SO CUTE (tackleglompnuzzle)


Why?

Yep. Remember, Kirk/Spock were (is?) generally considered the codifier for slash fiction well before there was an internet.

hey all. Hope everyone is well (and chocolate tort for those who aren't).

[Lycunadari]

O.o;; Lycundari... That is how I did my hair before I hacked it off... The color is also only a few shades away from my own...

Well, it's a running joke among my friends that I can look in the future, so maybe I can also look in the past and to your home?

Hmmm, maybe you should keep an eye out for boyish young redheads peeking in through your windows at night, Karen. =3

Also, the painting is really wonderful - the colours in it give a really nice ethereal and dreamlike quality to it. ^_^

Hehehe. Though if I had the ability to travel somewhere far away, I'd visit someone else...

Thanks!

Lycunadari, the hivemind wants more paintings.
And probably more chocolate, too, but that has nothing to do with your paintings.

I'm working on it, the next one is already sketched out.

But if I did that, then Lauren wouldn't be able to do this to my hair, which would make her sad and possibly homicidal...

Spoiler

Show

Also, since people are showing artistic stuff, here's my silk painting gallery so far :)

Spoiler

Show

Oh, pretty. Both your hair and your paintings.

Hey y'all. I posted here a couple times before. I did a two page comic as a joke for some friends in here that seem to not be here anymore. one and two.

dumb stuff u.u

Spoiler

Show

I'm transgender. Going to my first therapist appointment in a couple days. Kind of nervous. She's kind of locally famous for being really good about signing anything you could want, like a HRT recommendation. But she's kind of expensive and doesn't take insurance. I have really good insurance through my (*cough* wealthy, distant *cough*) father but live mainly with my (not so wealthy) mother... I'm working this summer so I can help cover the costs. My mom has made me promise not to start HRT until I come out to my dad, which I'm hesitant about - he is essentially who Fox News caters to, in terms of political, religious, &c. criteria. He had acute myeloid leukemia and had a bone marrow transplant, from a Sioux woman. So now he makes all these culturally appropriative jokes, as well as transmisogynist and general sexist ones. I can't ever come out to him, I think my mom knows that. So far I've come out to mom and sister, and some friends. They've been better than I could have imagined. But I feel entrapped with this. And I'm super nervous about this appointment. Guh.

And I'm struggling a lot with relationship stuff. I really like my GF a lot, zie's awesome and fantastic and great. Also asexual... Before I came out to myself I thought I was asexual, and then demisexual, but then I realized it was a self-identification thing and I'm not asexual or graysexual or on that spectrum. I just wasn't comfortable with myself at that point. But as I've become more and more comfortable being transgender, my sexuality has... blossomed? And I worry about being way too kinky for zir. Also it's long-distance so I can't really bring it up easily and when I do zie gets uncomfortable so I drop it.

Also zie has lately started saying "I love you" uhm, at the end of conversations and sometimes in the middle and I'm like... I dunno. It's my first relationship. I've only ever told my family I love them. It's a big deal to me to say that. I love my mother and my father and my sister and my uncles and aunts and cousins and dogs and especially my cat and my grandfather and my grandmother... But I'm related to all of them. I can't, the words just, I can't say it unless I mean it and I get really confused when I ask myself if I mean it. I get so much junk from my family about it being an LDR and meeting zir over the internet when my mom does internet dating all the time! Ugh! I end up just getting flustered and being like "you're awesome..." and it sucks cause I want zir to know I care so so much about zir but I can't say "I love you" cause I'm an awful human bean.

sorry just needed to get this off my chest ._.

I'm too tired to think of good advise right now, so have some cookies instead.


I got two new pairs of schoes today – one pair of girly sandals for prom next week, and a pair of boyish walking shoes (because "sadly" they didn't have any walking shoes for women in my size – I'd never thought that having big feet would come in handy one day.) I'm happy now.

[Eirala]

Concerning boobs:
I would very much like something about C, at least B. I'd be disappointed with A, but i'd have to deal with it. Size is not everything, right?

[The Succubus]

Hey y'all. I posted here a couple times before. I did a two page comic as a joke for some friends in here that seem to not be here anymore. one and two.

dumb stuff u.u

Spoiler

Show

I'm transgender. Going to my first therapist appointment in a couple days. Kind of nervous. She's kind of locally famous for being really good about signing anything you could want, like a HRT recommendation. But she's kind of expensive and doesn't take insurance. I have really good insurance through my (*cough* wealthy, distant *cough*) father but live mainly with my (not so wealthy) mother... I'm working this summer so I can help cover the costs. My mom has made me promise not to start HRT until I come out to my dad, which I'm hesitant about - he is essentially who Fox News caters to, in terms of political, religious, &c. criteria. He had acute myeloid leukemia and had a bone marrow transplant, from a Sioux woman. So now he makes all these culturally appropriative jokes, as well as transmisogynist and general sexist ones. I can't ever come out to him, I think my mom knows that. So far I've come out to mom and sister, and some friends. They've been better than I could have imagined. But I feel entrapped with this. And I'm super nervous about this appointment. Guh.

And I'm struggling a lot with relationship stuff. I really like my GF a lot, zie's awesome and fantastic and great. Also asexual... Before I came out to myself I thought I was asexual, and then demisexual, but then I realized it was a self-identification thing and I'm not asexual or graysexual or on that spectrum. I just wasn't comfortable with myself at that point. But as I've become more and more comfortable being transgender, my sexuality has... blossomed? And I worry about being way too kinky for zir. Also it's long-distance so I can't really bring it up easily and when I do zie gets uncomfortable so I drop it.

Also zie has lately started saying "I love you" uhm, at the end of conversations and sometimes in the middle and I'm like... I dunno. It's my first relationship. I've only ever told my family I love them. It's a big deal to me to say that. I love my mother and my father and my sister and my uncles and aunts and cousins and dogs and especially my cat and my grandfather and my grandmother... But I'm related to all of them. I can't, the words just, I can't say it unless I mean it and I get really confused when I ask myself if I mean it. I get so much junk from my family about it being an LDR and meeting zir over the internet when my mom does internet dating all the time! Ugh! I end up just getting flustered and being like "you're awesome..." and it sucks cause I want zir to know I care so so much about zir but I can't say "I love you" cause I'm an awful human bean.

sorry just needed to get this off my chest ._.

That final paragraph...was incredibly sweet.

I used to be something of the defensive type as well, even to my friends and family as well. Saying "I love you" drops all your defences and can make you feel very exposed, even when, as in this case, you don't really have much to be afraid of.

This is probably more of a hope than anything but maybe zie knows or suspects how much you care for zir and zie's saying "I love you" for the both of you. It'd be nice to think so.

****

Regarding the pronoun tangent - I admit it's a little odd to use a third pronoun like "zie" but maybe that's just because I'm not particularly used to it. But then if it makes someone feel more comfortable and happy with themselves, I'm cool with using it. It's not that different to using the correct pronouns with transmen and transwomen.

****

Regarding the "feminine chest" discussion, I don't feel, as a guy, I have much to contribute in that regard. *blushes and meeps*

My only small comment is that "feminine chests" don't need to be particularly large to give a feminine bodyshape. Hips, gait, hair and facial features can all play just as large a role.

[SiuiS]

zie's genderqueer and prefers zie/zir pronouns

Cool. Wasn't sure.

I don't really want to get used to it :O

and letting down your guard only leads to getting hurt in my experience :I

Well, I have only anecdotes for you. Lot of them, and across about eighty years, but still anecdotes. You get out of a relationship roughly what you invest into the relationship (multiplied by the quality of components, etc., but that's not relevant), so you'll have to consider at some point, whether the anxiety now from feeling... Inadequate, I suppose? Is worth more or less than the anxiety of exposing yourself. Both have pros; one is comfortable and familiar, the other has a supposed pay-off of emotional fulfillment-ness, but the values vary.

Of course, you were just venting, so my responses are unprompted and thus, ignorable. Consider this food for thought, I suppose? Hope it helps

I'd assume cause those are zir preferred pronouns.

and I think you're being a bit insensitive...

Yes. I considered it important information for the 'problem' at hand, and in my flippancy failed to consider that it would seem a dismissal rather than just atheling data. That was a mistake and I will try to do better in the future.

(snrks)
Tell her to start AIMing again! >: (

Perhaps. We are having weird IM troubles, and no time to sort them out :(
I also think she's just more comfortable keepin her social reach small. She feels it keenly when she overextends. Surmise though, so we will see~!

[Eldest]

zie's genderqueer and prefers zie/zir pronouns

I don't really want to get used to it :O

and letting down your guard only leads to getting hurt in my experience :I

A thought, would your SO be ok with me using they to refer to them? I just don't seem to be able to get the hang of zie/zir.

[Castaras]

Mmmm, do you use Sophos, Cassie? It says that occasionally websites can throw up a false positive for that particular one. I haven't had anything flash up here at work and we've got some Miko-zealous AV software.

Yep, 'twas sophos. Uni computer, so. Expected it was a false positive, but just wanted to point it out in case.

Concerning boobs:
I would very much like something about C, at least B. I'd be disappointed with A, but i'd have to deal with it. Size is not everything, right?

I have A, and they're amazing. Good size to squidge squeeze, but not so large that I get back pain, and I can get away with not wearing a bra, which is less washing! \o/

[Halae]

Regarding the "feminine chest" discussion, I don't feel, as a guy, I have much to contribute in that regard. *blushes and meeps*

My only small comment is that "feminine chests" don't need to be particularly large to give a feminine bodyshape. Hips, gait, hair and facial features can all play just as large a role.

Oh, I'm totally aware of this. The thing is, my mother and sisters have set it as a standard of beauty in my mind (not the only one, by one of them) and my boyfriends enjoy large busts. On the whole, it's something I'd like to have.

On an entirely separate note, we should probably start deciding the title of the next thread. We go through these things like tissues.

[Lix Lorn]

I have a sudden desire to make a life size Eevee plushie, place a couple loops on the under side, slip a hairband through the loops, and have an Eevee ride on my head all day.

Do it do it do it and provide pictuuuures :3

[Mina Kobold]

But that's an entirely rational request. Why would you think it's irrational?

Parent did, serves me for assuming that had any indication of what a tiger would think of it. ^w^'

I have a sudden desire to make a life size Eevee plushie, place a couple loops on the under side, slip a hairband through the loops, and have an Eevee ride on my head all day.

So. Adorable. Mental. Image. OwO

I wish I could do crafts, I could make so many plushies. :3

I got two new pairs of schoes today – one pair of girly sandals for prom next week, and a pair of boyish walking shoes (because "sadly" they didn't have any walking shoes for women in my size – I'd never thought that having big feet would come in handy one day.) I'm happy now.

Yay for new shoes! ^_^

On an entirely separate note, we should probably start deciding the title of the next thread. We go through these things like tissues.

I though the vote was for Succubus' Story Time? I shall cast my vote for that, at least. ^_^

[Eirala]

I have A, and they're amazing. Good size to squidge squeeze, but not so large that I get back pain, and I can get away with not wearing a bra, which is less washing! \o/

Heh, that would be convenient.

[DeathChallenged]

You gals are crazy. Why would you want them? They just get in the way and are somewhat sensitive. That and not able to hide the larger boobs just suck


And I avoid bras as much as possible...I just cross my arms in front of them. Does not help with passing...but I really don't care how people view me very much.

[Halae]

I though the vote was for Succubus' Story Time? I shall cast my vote for that, at least. ^_^

I second this!

[Karen Lynn]

Succubus' Story Time has been chosen. Ivtgink it'd be funny if Succubus did it.

DC, I'm sure many of us will gladly take your boob material. So long as I still have dibs on your uterus! :3

[Castaras]

You gals are crazy. Why would you want them? They just get in the way and are somewhat sensitive. That and not able to hide the larger boobs just suck


And I avoid bras as much as possible...I just cross my arms in front of them. Does not help with passing...but I really don't care how people view me very much.

I like them because they're fun to squidge, are round, and when you wiggle them they wobble like jelly.

Edit: And soft. Don't forget soft.

[Irish Musician]

1) Tat pics coming for anyone that care/those that requested them, with a bonus pic everyone should love!

2) Hugz for EVERYONE, save for those that don't like hugs. They get customized cookies of their own choosing.

3) On Boobs: Being the token straight cis male.....I love them. That being said, size matters not to me. Large, small, in between, they are all beautiful to me. If someone isn't comfortable/happy with hers, then they have every right to make them what they want them to be. I tend to be on the side of, "I'm a guy so how can I possibly have any say what a woman does with her body." The only person I'd like to think I have any influence on what happens to her body is my wife. But even then it is more of we respect each other enough to talk to each other about major body changes, then me being like "You must do this!!"

~Matthew~

[The Succubus]

I have to admit all this talk about feminine chests has me a little flustered. I'm...a little shy, in that regard.

If it's okay, I'd prefer a different thread title for #37. I'm flattered but I'd rather it have a more...general flavour to it.

[mistformsquirrl]

Since we were posting art earlier and I'm working on a request for Eldest atm, I figured I'd crosspost this here as well <^-^> (I'm on a bit of an art high at the moment, which is good cause I was uber depressed earlier for no reason >,<m)

Spoiler

Show

Just finished the inking < ._.>/ Next: Colorses!