LGBTAitP #37: Once upon a time...

[Eirala]

Got dropped from the warehouse job, guess I just wasn't able to keep up. Back at the temp agency with like 8 other people waiting for work. At least they have wifi. Hugs please?

Oh noes D:

*extra fluffy hugs*

[The Succubus]

Mrrr. Sorry to hear that Chess. Hope things work out for you. *hugs*

[Lentrax]

Got dropped from the warehouse job, guess I just wasn't able to keep up. Back at the temp agency with like 8 other people waiting for work. At least they have wifi. Hugs please?

*hugs*

Sorry to hear bout the job.

[Chess435]

*hugs*

Sorry to hear bout the job.

Mrrr. Sorry to hear that Chess. Hope things work out for you. *hugs*

Oh noes D:

*extra fluffy hugs*

So sorry to hear that.
Many hugs.

Thanks a lot everyone. *hugs everyone back*

[The Rose Dragon]

*distant non-physical sympathy*

[Heliomance]

TBH, I think the thing I'd find hardest about a serious, long-term gay relationship is finding two different words for "mother" (or "father", for gay guys) for the kids to use! Round here, there are plenty of options for referring to grandparents: Gran, granny, grandma, nan, nana, grandpa, granddad, etc. But mum and dad (or mummy and daddy, for young kids) are pretty much ubiquitous. I can't think of an alternative I really like, and having both parents referred to by the same title would get horribly confusing.

(As an aside, both my grandmothers go by "granny", so as a toddler I declared them "big granny" and "little granny" to distinguish them, one of them being notably taller than the other at the time. The names stuck so well that my siblings and I still call them that 20 years later!)

[KenderWizard]

TBH, I think the thing I'd find hardest about a serious, long-term gay relationship is finding two different words for "mother" (or "father", for gay guys) for the kids to use! Round here, there are plenty of options for referring to grandparents: Gran, granny, grandma, nan, nana, grandpa, granddad, etc. But mum and dad (or mummy and daddy, for young kids) are pretty much ubiquitous. I can't think of an alternative I really like, and having both parents referred to by the same title would get horribly confusing.

(As an aside, both my grandmothers go by "granny", so as a toddler I declared them "big granny" and "little granny" to distinguish them, one of them being notably taller than the other at the time. The names stuck so well that my siblings and I still call them that 20 years later!)

We used Granny B and Granny K, the first letters of their names. Now Granny K is dead so they're Granny and Dead Granny.... My family is quite irreverent about death.

In Ireland, it's "mammy and daddy", "mam and dad", "ma and da", not "mummy", usually, except my mother and her sisters and sometimes us grandchildren use Mummy for Granny, but that was a weird glitch that showed up after they became teenagers, she was Mammy when they were children.

I like mama and mammy, and dada and daddy. There's also importing different countries (use two of mammy, mummy, mommy). Ma and mam. Mu and mum?

[The Succubus]

Clearly, the only sensible thing to do is to have more gay and lesbian families form and see what happens from a linguistic angle.

I also had a thought about a couple of extra rules for the next OP:

Spoiler

Show

* Please respect the boundaries of others in this thread. LGBTA discussions can often cause difficult or unpleasant feelings to arise - referred to in thread as triggers or trigger warnings. If a particular discussion is making someone feel uncomfortable, the Management politely asks you to stop or take the conversation to spoilers.

* Likewise with affection. We're very keen on hugs and the like here but excessive flirting can make people uncomfortable and a cry for help might get buried under the other messages. If you and another poster are flirting heavily with each other, take it to PMs where you can be a little more...expressive.

Good ideas? Bad ideas?

[Mina Kobold]

Got dropped from the warehouse job, guess I just wasn't able to keep up. Back at the temp agency with like 8 other people waiting for work. At least they have wifi. Hugs please?

*Big Kobold hug*

I wish I could do more than give a hug, but I have no experience with the job market myself and I doubt what I know from my family would be particularly useful outside of Denmark. ;_;

TBH, I think the thing I'd find hardest about a serious, long-term gay relationship is finding two different words for "mother" (or "father", for gay guys) for the kids to use! Round here, there are plenty of options for referring to grandparents: Gran, granny, grandma, nan, nana, grandpa, granddad, etc. But mum and dad (or mummy and daddy, for young kids) are pretty much ubiquitous. I can't think of an alternative I really like, and having both parents referred to by the same title would get horribly confusing.

(As an aside, both my grandmothers go by "granny", so as a toddler I declared them "big granny" and "little granny" to distinguish them, one of them being notably taller than the other at the time. The names stuck so well that my siblings and I still call them that 20 years later!)

I personally am fond of how Nanoha does it with Vivio, simply adding the name of the parent to the word mama, but I can see how that would be an issue. Perhaps using personal nicknames or allowing for the confusion would work? I admit I've never seen it with parents, but having multiple people by the same nickname seems to work more often than not, such as with you and your grandmothers. ^-^'

I'm a bit of a silly person with neither siblings nor much of a diverse family, though, so take that with a grain of mint. :3

[Eldest]

About flirting, and not consisting of flirting itself, and please read if you were asking for people to stop

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First, I'd like to open by apologizing for making you guys uncomfortable. However, I'd like to put my thoughts into words, and so ramble a lot. So, where to start? Flirting is fun. Further, flirting has already been reduced dramatically over the last few threads, because of these requests, which have always been to tone it down. And it has been! The first time I remember a request to tone it down was when it toed the line of the forum rules. And now this made people uncomfortable, three people making a nigh-identical comment to another person. I even had a second comment after and didn't follow up with it because people have mentioned it makes them uncomfortable. And some people were skimming it because they weren't interested. Well, I'm going to point out something: I'm not interested in MLP. At all. I've still looked at the various links and stuff about MLP that people posted, but stuff like that spider comic? Reread that twice and still don't understand it. And I'm ok with that being in this thread, even if it means I'll have to skim and avoid parts of the discussion. And regarding the meltdown, the flirting... really didn't seem to be the cause of that. It was the trigger, but it just seemed like a personality clash because of poorly chosen actions on both sides. (Trying not to blame anybody here, I bailed on the thread for a few days to avoid it because I'd spend the entire time of the argument gibbering in rage.) I think that the flirting, especially at a low level like what's been going on recently (and frankly, the flirting that caused the argument was further than I would have gone, so there's that) is a part of the banter that makes the thread so welcoming. So if people still want me to stop fully after reading this, I will. But I think it will make the thread less fun for me and less welcoming for others.

[Lentrax]

Clearly, the only sensible thing to do is to have more gay and lesbian families form and see what happens from a linguistic angle.

I also had a thought about a couple of extra rules for the next OP:

Spoiler

Show

* Please respect the boundaries of others in this thread. LGBTA discussions can often cause difficult or unpleasant feelings to arise - referred to in thread as triggers or trigger warnings. If a particular discussion is making someone feel uncomfortable, the Management politely asks you to stop or take the conversation to spoilers.

* Likewise with affection. We're very keen on hugs and the like here but excessive flirting can make people uncomfortable and a cry for help might get buried under the other messages. If you and another poster are flirting heavily with each other, take it to PMs where you can be a little more...expressive.

Good ideas? Bad ideas?

I support these ideas.

All of them.

I would also like to take the opportunity to apologize for my affectionate posts.
I try to keep it down, but, well... I get away from myself.

Sorry.

[Karen Lynn]

I'd like to second Eldest. The flirty playful banter is what made me comfortable enough to post here in the first place(having lurked that thread and the thread prior). If it weren't for that, I don't think it would feel as warm and welcoming, and I highly doubt I would have posted here to begin with. The recent 'flirting' was just playful goofing about, and I agree that it wasn't the flirting that caused the recent argument, but other factors.

That said, I've no problem stopping flirting if it is getting to a point that people are actually getting uncomfortable. I'm not going to role play in here, after all, but I'm not going to stifle my flirty, playful nature anymore. I've done that for 24 years through this life long act of pretending to be a man. I'd just as soon leave the thread.

~~Karen~~

[The Succubus]

Nah, I'm not suggesting that we stop it completely - a sly wink or a flattering comment after a photo is fine and can make some folks feel better about themselves. It's just when it runs on for a page or more that it gets a little awkward.

[MetDitto]

About flirting, and not consisting of flirting itself, and please read if you were asking for people to stop

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Show

First, I'd like to open by apologizing for making you guys uncomfortable. However, I'd like to put my thoughts into words, and so ramble a lot. So, where to start? Flirting is fun. Further, flirting has already been reduced dramatically over the last few threads, because of these requests, which have always been to tone it down. And it has been! The first time I remember a request to tone it down was when it toed the line of the forum rules. And now this made people uncomfortable, three people making a nigh-identical comment to another person. I even had a second comment after and didn't follow up with it because people have mentioned it makes them uncomfortable. And some people were skimming it because they weren't interested. Well, I'm going to point out something: I'm not interested in MLP. At all. I've still looked at the various links and stuff about MLP that people posted, but stuff like that spider comic? Reread that twice and still don't understand it. And I'm ok with that being in this thread, even if it means I'll have to skim and avoid parts of the discussion. And regarding the meltdown, the flirting... really didn't seem to be the cause of that. It was the trigger, but it just seemed like a personality clash because of poorly chosen actions on both sides. (Trying not to blame anybody here, I bailed on the thread for a few days to avoid it because I'd spend the entire time of the argument gibbering in rage.) I think that the flirting, especially at a low level like what's been going on recently (and frankly, the flirting that caused the argument was further than I would have gone, so there's that) is a part of the banter that makes the thread so welcoming. So if people still want me to stop fully after reading this, I will. But I think it will make the thread less fun for me and less welcoming for others.

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I think the people that have problems with the flirting (myself included) mainly don't like the hardcore flirting that should obviously be done in private. Which... There is obviously a difference between someone saying you're cute and then heavy necking. There's a line of comfort, and this thread toes that line often, and occasionally (like earlier) completely goes over it. Mutual respect is really important, and sensitivity is super important in a queer community.

[Irish Musician]

@Chess - I'm so sorry My best friend just got laid off as well, actually, Friday. So bad times all around. *hugz* though!

On Flirting:

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I have no anger in this post so please don't read it in a negative light. But there is a respect that needs to happen. First and foremost this is a support forum and it needs to be known as such. Some flirting here and there isn't a bad thing, a post someone makes and a response after that and maybe one more post, but then it should be done. Like it has been said before, heavy flirting should be taken off thread to skype, PM, or whatever. I am a offender in this category because I am a big time flirt, and I know it. It isn't meant to offend anyone or cause grief, that is just how I am. And usually I can tell who to flirt with and who not to because I am very good at telling those kinda of things....in person. But on the web, in text, it is a little harder to tell. So if my flirting offends someone, all I need is the word and I have no problem apologizing and stopping. I know not everyone is into that and I respect their wishes. I think having a touch/flirting policy is a good thing and will help us in the future keep those types of disagreements down. We all are here for each other, and should all be mindful of each others feelings, even if we don't agree with said requests. All that being said, I love you all and will strive to do my best not to hurt anyone purposefully!

*hugz and cookies for all that want one or the other or both*

~Matthew~

[Lycunadari]

Hey Juniper! How's things?

I'm feeling better, the cold didn't get as bad as I had feared. Also, my adorable 8-year-old nephew is here this week and he said I look like his dad/my brother in my new shirt. ^^

Got dropped from the warehouse job, guess I just wasn't able to keep up. Back at the temp agency with like 8 other people waiting for work. At least they have wifi. Hugs please?

Oh no! *hugs*

TBH, I think the thing I'd find hardest about a serious, long-term gay relationship is finding two different words for "mother" (or "father", for gay guys) for the kids to use! Round here, there are plenty of options for referring to grandparents: Gran, granny, grandma, nan, nana, grandpa, granddad, etc. But mum and dad (or mummy and daddy, for young kids) are pretty much ubiquitous. I can't think of an alternative I really like, and having both parents referred to by the same title would get horribly confusing.

(As an aside, both my grandmothers go by "granny", so as a toddler I declared them "big granny" and "little granny" to distinguish them, one of them being notably taller than the other at the time. The names stuck so well that my siblings and I still call them that 20 years later!)

Mum and Other Mum?

Clearly, the only sensible thing to do is to have more gay and lesbian families form and see what happens from a linguistic angle.

I also had a thought about a couple of extra rules for the next OP:

Spoiler

Show

* Please respect the boundaries of others in this thread. LGBTA discussions can often cause difficult or unpleasant feelings to arise - referred to in thread as triggers or trigger warnings. If a particular discussion is making someone feel uncomfortable, the Management politely asks you to stop or take the conversation to spoilers.

* Likewise with affection. We're very keen on hugs and the like here but excessive flirting can make people uncomfortable and a cry for help might get buried under the other messages. If you and another poster are flirting heavily with each other, take it to PMs where you can be a little more...expressive.

Good ideas? Bad ideas?

Sounds good.

---

I don't know what to do.

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I want to come out to my parents, or at least to my mum. I feel like I'm ready to and I want to get this done before we're visiting my brother in Australia at the end of July so I can come out to him when we're there. But she's having a lot of stress – managing the preparations for the vacation, lots of guests due to a big festival in the nearest town, my guest sister leaving, my ill/weak grandparents ... I know that coming out to my mum while she has a lot of stress is a bad idea and I also don't want to put her through any more stress but I also really want to come out to her. I'd also have liked it if my sister was here for support when I come out, but she is so busy with uni that she will only come home shortly before we leave for Australia. She was here this weekend, but we had guests, so there wasn't time for coming out. *sigh*

– Juniper

[Kneenibble]

Nah, I'm not suggesting that we stop it completely - a sly wink or a flattering comment after a photo is fine and can make some folks feel better about themselves. It's just when it runs on for a page or more that it gets a little awkward.

The flirting that happened prior to last week's incident was quite tame, and I don't think it is at all reasonable to make up a regulation about it for all future threads because of a few irrational reactions. It is harmless fun that breaks no rules.

[Eldest]

A little clarification, I'm not saying heavy flirting shouldn't be taken away from the thread. But what just happened? Wasn't heavy flirting. And it still got the reaction of "please make it go away" which frustrates me, because people have been doing that (it seems) at regular intervals to any flirting.

[MeanMrsMustard]

Flirting.

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Flirting doesn't make me uncomfortable (unless it's directed at me excessively). I don't normally flirt any more than "oh you're a wonderful person," and so I'd be totally fine with a "take it to spoilers/PM/Skype before it gets out of hand" rule.

Other rules:

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Succubus, I'm all aboard. I try not to start conversations on triggering topics, but I'll often join them. I'll keep triggers to spoilers.

Thanks, Lycunadari!
When I saw the het pride flag I was like "uh, really?"

[Irish Musician]

I don't know what to do.

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I want to come out to my parents, or at least to my mum. I feel like I'm ready to and I want to get this done before we're visiting my brother in Australia at the end of July so I can come out to him when we're there. But she's having a lot of stress – managing the preparations for the vacation, lots of guests due to a big festival in the nearest town, my guest sister leaving, my ill/weak grandparents ... I know that coming out to my mum while she has a lot of stress is a bad idea and I also don't want to put her through any more stress but I also really want to come out to her. I'd also have liked it if my sister was here for support when I come out, but she is so busy with uni that she will only come home shortly before we leave for Australia. She was here this weekend, but we had guests, so there wasn't time for coming out. *sigh*

– Juniper

Well, in my very humble opinion, I think that the less stressed EVERYONE can be for a sit down like that, the better. Because just you thinking about telling your mom with all this stuff stressing her out, is in turn stressing you out more. So I would say, even though you really want to tell her (and you should tell her) timing can be your friend. Because it doesn't matter if you are as supportive as you can be, having someone you have known for years and years and raised since a baby drop big news like that on you while you are super duper stressed anyway is going to be huge. Note: I am not saying that telling her is bad, nor that she will take it bad. I am merely saying that maybe waiting until life dies down a little might be beneficial to the both of you. Whatever road you take, good luck and we will be here for you

~Matthew~

[Kneenibble]

A little clarification, I'm not saying heavy flirting shouldn't be taken away from the thread. But what just happened? Wasn't heavy flirting. And it still got the reaction of "please make it go away" which frustrates me, because people have been doing that (it seems) at regular intervals to any flirting.

Exactly. It was light and silly. It is not up to any individual to blow up nor try to police it. It has also, as I said before, been part of the fun of these threads since their first iteration.

[SiuiS]

The flirting that happened prior to last week's incident was quite tame, and I don't think it is at all reasonable to make up a regulation about it for all future threads because of a few irrational reactions. It is harmless fun that breaks no rules.

Basically, aye.

It's funny how both of these posts occured at the same time. Changing thought patterns, especially your own methods of thinking, is a very challenging thing to do. While sometimes a particular statement can set you on the path to change, it's very unusual that it will completely change your thoughts at once.

Aye. The trouble is that patterns work on positive feedback, usually. You have to be in a position not only to change your patterns, but force others to change theirs in regards to you as well. There's even a term for when people punish you until you stop being different – change back behavior. Punitive action until you go back to te old, "normal" and comfortable you.

I've found the best way to make change is to dissapear. Cut tied for a few months, maybe a year, then reintroduce and be a different person. But it's not always successful.

Also: Assume that if Helio is asking, I've started scrolling through quickly instead and reading less, and have probably half-typed-out similar requests once or twice and then not bothered.

There is that, yes.
The problem, Eldest, is not the flirting. It's the three pages of flirting with no content. Post after post of only "how are you? *snuggle" "I'm fine, you? *lick*" "oh I'm good *smile*" can be good for the soul at times, but isn't topical (and I think the thread has revised reprimand for wanting to be/acting like a meat market? Not sure). Both Astrella and Juniper have posted stuff i didn't even see because it was nestled between other stuffs (Totally surprised I used Juniper instead of Lycunadari. Hee.).

Flirting is a conversational art. But when the conversation exists just to flirt, it loses it's mooring.

And the pony/spider thing was interesting from the "how people treat you when you come out" angle, since it specifically involved someone undergoing physical change in private and then revealing it to their friends and hoping for good results. I thought I said that, but I was sleepy all say yesterday, so thanks for pointing that out

Some people seem to be more open to change than others too. Unfortunately, as far as the social conditioning changing in the first time it seems to take a while. How long until there are no parents (or anyone for that matter) unintentionally making homosexuality seem wrong, let alone the myriad of other things that are not quite right? Well, I suppose Rome was not built in a day...

It will be a while, as long as we have people actively propagating prejudice.

*Scratches head* Unsure how over-extension comes into it? It crops up when you rotate your hips and move your arms across to a certain angle (in order to hit through your opponent) without moving your feet.

On a swing (or any ballistic body movement, really) you hit maximum power at around 75% of the way through, the last quarter being deceleration. I can see folks trying to artificially extend their RoM rather than shifting it.

Really though, I'm just rusty and can't recall how that particular set of movement works, so I am likely wrong.

In case of parents, some of behaviors regarding it may be even deeper than social conditioning though.

The very core of reproductive instinct is to push your own, 'selfish' genes forward - thus hope for the grandchildren, and so on.

So some remarks or whatever may indeed appear even very unintentionally.

I'm no sociologist, but I don't think that any changes in social conditioning can erase that.

Last scientific consensus I've seen held that humans have a remarkable dearth of actual instinct. So, I dunno.

Clearly, the only sensible thing to do is to have more gay and lesbian families form and see what happens from a linguistic angle.

I also had a thought about a couple of extra rules for the next OP:

Spoiler

Show

* Please respect the boundaries of others in this thread. LGBTA discussions can often cause difficult or unpleasant feelings to arise - referred to in thread as triggers or trigger warnings. If a particular discussion is making someone feel uncomfortable, the Management politely asks you to stop or take the conversation to spoilers.

* Likewise with affection. We're very keen on hugs and the like here but excessive flirting can make people uncomfortable and a cry for help might get buried under the other messages. If you and another poster are flirting heavily with each other, take it to PMs where you can be a little more...expressive.

Good ideas? Bad ideas?

Number two isn't necessary, I think. Anything severe enough to be a problem i a board rules issue anyway so they should already know better – the objection to the severe flirting is when A) it gets tacky or B) it takes over for a while, both of which have nothing to so with flirting itself and would be an issue with ANYTHING that gets tacky or takes over the thread.

About flirting,

Oh, I did quote this. Uh.
See above?

I don't know what to do.

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I want to come out to my parents, or at least to my mum. I feel like I'm ready to and I want to get this done before we're visiting my brother in Australia at the end of July so I can come out to him when we're there. But she's having a lot of stress – managing the preparations for the vacation, lots of guests due to a big festival in the nearest town, my guest sister leaving, my ill/weak grandparents ... I know that coming out to my mum while she has a lot of stress is a bad idea and I also don't want to put her through any more stress but I also really want to come out to her. I'd also have liked it if my sister was here for support when I come out, but she is so busy with uni that she will only come home shortly before we leave for Australia. She was here this weekend, but we had guests, so there wasn't time for coming out. *sigh*

There's never going to be a perfect time, I don't think. There's always something. I suggest doing it ASAP, so she has more time to adjust, myself. But that's rather generic advice...

[Eldest]

The problem, Eldest, is not the flirting. It's the three pages of flirting with no content. Post after post of only "how are you? *snuggle" "I'm fine, you? *lick*" "oh I'm good *smile*" can be good for the soul at times, but isn't topical (and I think the thread has revised reprimand for wanting to be/acting like a meat market? Not sure). Both Astrella and Juniper have posted stuff i didn't even see because it was nestled between other stuffs (Totally surprised I used Juniper instead of Lycunadari. Hee.).

Well, two things. One, I show support in part by caring about the person and talking to them. When there's no real topic of discussion going on, I see no problem with random banter. And two, have you seen three pages of straight flirting anytime in the last two threads? Honest question, I do not recall any such situation but my memory has failed me in the past.

[Lix Lorn]

Got dropped from the warehouse job, guess I just wasn't able to keep up. Back at the temp agency with like 8 other people waiting for work. At least they have wifi. Hugs please?

That sucks. :( (hugs)

[SiuiS]

Well, two things. One, I show support in part by caring about the person and talking to them. When there's no real topic of discussion going on, I see no problem with random banter. And two, have you seen three pages of straight flirting anytime in the last two threads? Honest question, I do not recall any such situation but my memory has failed me in the past.

*scans* nope! Two pages of > 50% flirting, no solid, no three. Not checking two threads, though.
I know that when there's no topic, continuing being friendly is the nicest thing to do. It's a balancing act, really. There is no winning except for doing your best. But if we are honest, we lose nothin by letting the thread slow and not padding it so much.

Well, not nothing. I would have less to do, for one. But the sea is there, I incoherent and poorly articulated.


Wish I had advice on the job front, friend. Sorry :(

[Zorg]

Flirting stuff:

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It bothers me sometimes, like a while back when everyone was talking about BDSM stuff and going on about putting collars on each other and way more detail than I needed to know. It bothered me because it felt super exclusionary in a way because even if I did or did not have an interest in that it's not something I would roleplay on a public forum and also I find that sort of intimate talk a bit alien to me except amongst my very closest friends (like, three people in the world).
Also to go on from Siuis' post and an earlier discussion about cliques, it could seem like if you're not participating you're not a part of the thread.
It's also hard because sometimes the thread feels more like a "LGBTA+ people chat thread" than a "LGBTA+ support thread".

It's like the difference between a meeting at a place for people to come and discuss issues, but hangout and chat if nothing's going on, against a bunch of friends sitting around in a McDonalds talking and most of them are queer.
I admit that even in the Micky D's situation I'd feel super uncomfortable if everyone started flirting anyway, but I'm aware that that's me. Problem is that it just feels awkward to say things like "hey guys I'm totes depressed and thinking about killing myself" because it's like you're not speaking up at a support group but dropping a heavy-issues bomb at your friend's party.


Well... that's my take on it anyway.

[Kindablue]

I think the flirting is obnoxious, but I'd never want to dictate how other people use a space like this thread. Just be people to each other and there won't be any problems.

[MetDitto]

There is a random banter thread for random banter. This is a support thread. And when part of the flirting is censored like a couple pages ago, that's definitely too much.

[Eirala]

I don't know what to do.

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I want to come out to my parents, or at least to my mum. I feel like I'm ready to and I want to get this done before we're visiting my brother in Australia at the end of July so I can come out to him when we're there. But she's having a lot of stress – managing the preparations for the vacation, lots of guests due to a big festival in the nearest town, my guest sister leaving, my ill/weak grandparents ... I know that coming out to my mum while she has a lot of stress is a bad idea and I also don't want to put her through any more stress but I also really want to come out to her. I'd also have liked it if my sister was here for support when I come out, but she is so busy with uni that she will only come home shortly before we leave for Australia. She was here this weekend, but we had guests, so there wasn't time for coming out. *sigh*

– Juniper

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I say: Be a little egoistic. Your parents may be stressed at the moment, but so are you. And it will only get worse with time for you.
If you are determined to wait for your parents to get a bit more relaxed, then that is of course an option.

Personally, i just can't imagine putting up with this kind of stress for long. I'm the kind of person who bursts it out after a day of keeping secret because i just can't keep something like that to myself. It would eat me up.
I may be someone who is especially bad at keeping secrets though. Even more so when it is something as important as gender identity which primarily affects oneself.

So i guess my advice would be not to torture yourself (too much). Just come out before the stress gets too much, it doesn't help your parents either if you are obviously in distress because of something. At least my mum always knows when somethings wrong and worries about me. Always.

[Lady Serpentine]

And when part of the flirting is censored like a couple pages ago, that's definitely too much.

Okay? I don't think anyone's disagreeing with you on that point. But... While I do sometimes have a tendency to fall off the face of the thread, that's the first time I've seen anyone have to censor part of their flirting. So really, is this an actual problem?

I mean, I flirt with people in here sometimes, on occasion, for a fair number of posts, and that made me uncomfortable.

~Raven~