Do waiters judge what kinds of food you order?

[Aliquid]

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

I'm not sure how to help you here buddy... but I'm thinking you need to find a way to change your perspective of the world around you. If you perceive yourself in a certain way, you will create a "self fulfilling prophecy"

I actually have an anecdote that is kind-of related:
Years ago, I went out for lunch with a co-worker/friend who was physically disabled, and he was struggling with low self-esteem. He kept thinking that people looked down on him because of his disability. Anyway, during lunch, the waiter gave us crappy and rude service. My friend's immediate response was "We got bad service because of the way I look". My immediate response was "We god bad service because that guy is a jerk". I then watched the waiter serve other people and confirmed that he was an ass to everyone. After that I often challenged my friend's comments of "everyone looks down on me", with a response of "Is that really what's happening, or are you making assumptions"

Change your mindset from "what's wrong with me", to "what's wrong with them", and your self esteem might just improve. Someone might snap at you in a rude way because they are sleep deprived. Someone might be all cranky because they are having trouble dealing with a failing marriage at home. Maybe the waiters are laughing about something that isn't about you at all. You never know the other person's story...

[tyckspoon]

Actually, you're not a bother at all if you're asking to leave off an item or substitute it. Most places are computerized now with order taking, so there's usually an "add," "remove," or "substitute" button that can be pressed. I actually have customers, some of whom are "regulars" as I just described, who ask for their breakfast items without eggs or with their eggs done a certain way. I just have to hit 1-3 buttons, and they're set up. No trouble at all.

So yeah, unless the staff are just rude, you shouldn't have any trouble with asking for your eggs done a certain way, or not having egg on the item in general. Heck, you're saving the cook the trouble of having to cook an egg nobody is gonna eat.

Might be a little bother for the kitchen, inasmuch as it means they have to actually read the order ticket and not just stop at 'oh, that's a two-egg pancake breakfast' and make it the standard way. But as far as that goes, if your computerized order input system has a means of entering changes like that, I feel the kitchen is obligated to check each ticket for changes. Which they probably should be doing anyways, because most of the tickets I've seen generated by that kind of system use the same notes for 'No Egg, extra hashbrown' as they would for the more 'normal' customizations like 'Scrambled eggs with cheese, sausage patty' instead of 'Fried egg, over easy, bacon.'

[BWR]

Blackadder has the advantage that his master is a complete moron, so he can insult him pretty much openly and the Prince won't pick up on it.



Wooster is more mentally lazy than stupid, so he's usually able to tell when Jeeves is needling him, and Jeeves only really gets away with being properly sarcastic when Bertie isn't paying attention, usually when effectively monologuing and not expecting anything more from Jeeves than acknowledgement. In fact he tends to have a pretty good idea of Jeeves's opinions and tends not to challenge them because it's easier (again: lazy), unless it's really important (like plus-eights or alpine hats) or feels like winding Jeeves up to make a point (moustaches, on occasion). I noticed it's also rather more of a feature of the show than the books (not that the show itself isn't great).

You and I (and I'm sure many others) know this, but an ERB with those would still be fun to watch.

[Solaris]

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Probably. What does it matter? Even good friends have cracked jokes at my expense before.

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

I'm going to venture the guess that it's a combination of the spotlight effect and paranoid anxiety.

Well, what do you order?

Because some things are worthy of judgment. Like anyone who orders a steak cooked more than medium rare who is not a child.

Objective fact.

I will say this, though: If I do a multi-day whiskey marinade for my steak, I gotta cook that dang thing all the way through. If not, we're not driving after dinner and my wife is probably gonna get blitzed off of the alcohol in the meat. I still aim for medium to medium-rare, though, by using a low heat to cook off the alcohol but not hot enough to cook the meat.

Well, some places will use their oldest steaks for well-done orders, since by cooking it that much, it's easier to hide that it may be going off. That may account for some of the looks.

I do that with my own beef. It's the only time I'll cook it beyond Pittsburgh or rare, really.
It's still a culinary crime. Not the aging (if it's not smelling kinda funny, I'll still leave it bloody), the overcooking it. The good news is, old meat is a bit more tender so the overcooking it until it's gray leaves it still edible.

[Shamash]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Incidentally, I was randomly browsing the web and I saw this video yesterday, oddly relevant.

I don't think that was rude, maybe he was just joking around with his friends, I bet he never wanted to embarrass.

[bankata]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person.

[MMiller95]

People judge others constantly. The problem is they forget about it pretty quickly, so it does not really matter in the long run.

[The Eye]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person.

Why is that funny?

[Aliquid]

Why is that funny?

Clearly bankata has a very strange sense of humor.

[Honest Tiefling]

Eh. I have to eat gluten-free for medical reasons and have many intolerances/allergies, and I'm willing to bet that people are going to judge me for following a trendy diet with no basis in medical science and/or claiming fake allergies but whatever. If the waiter is going to do something to my face I'll complain to the manager. If the waiter can keep it to themselves, great, I just want my food. I don't pay you for your opinion, I pay a tip to get a fake smile and food brought to my lazy butt.

I'm honestly less worried about the judging and more curious how stringently allergy protocols are followed, since I've had bad reactions to a restaurant that claimed to be gluten-free but probably isn't.

[Peelee]

I don't pay you for your opinion, I pay a tip to get a fake smile and food brought to my lazy butt.

I pay a tip because society expects me to. As long as we have the system, I'll tip and tip well, but I hate it; restaurants should pay their workers just like everyone else. Never understood the point of tipping.

[Honest Tiefling]

I pay a tip because society expects me to. As long as we have the system, I'll tip and tip well, but I hate it; restaurants should pay their workers just like everyone else. Never understood the point of tipping.

Oh I agree there. The idea of tipping is that it encourages good service, but I don't think it works that way. Especially since bad servers will just blame the customer if they get bad tips, and some people really are that rude to not tip regardless of service. And honestly, some of the best service I have ever gotten was in Japan where there is no tipping culture.

But I am not going to stiff someone doing their job when I know they can't survive on that wage. I will if you mess up a lot (and I don't mean getting an order wrong, that just plain happens. I mean so bad that I have to go up and FIND YOU to get a refill on water when it is hot.)

[The Eye]

I only tip if the service was really good. Which is more often than it may seem.

[Honest Tiefling]

I only tip if the service was really good. Which is more often than it may seem.

This might explain why you don't get good service, since most waiters sorta need tips to yanno...Eat. Unless you aren't American, which is a completely different issue.

[The Eye]

This might explain why you don't get good service, since most waiters sorta need tips to yanno...Eat. Unless you aren't American, which is a completely different issue.

I'm not American.

EDIT: Wait, in the USA waiters don't get paid?

[Honest Tiefling]

EDIT: Wiat, in the USA waiters don't get paid?

They do, but it is EXTREMELY below minimum wage, and varies from area to area. The idea is that a good waiter will make it up in tips. There are reasons it is often considered rude to not tip waiters if they didn't mess anything up. Those reasons are the fact that waiters do in fact need to pay rent and such.

[lunaticfringe]

Tipped Minimum Wage

[Aedilred]

I'm not American.

EDIT: Wait, in the USA waiters don't get paid?

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US. They do get a wage, but it's entirely wiped out by tax, and other deductions. Their take-home income thus comes entirely from tips.

That this is the case across much of the service industry goes some way to explain why tipping is more prevalent and at a higher rate than is the norm in, say, Europe. It's not a bonus, it's the only money they get.

Yeah, it's pretty bogus.

[DataNinja]

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US. They do get a wage, but it's entirely wiped out by tax, and other deductions. Their take-home income thus comes entirely from tips.

That this is the case across much of the service industry goes some way to explain why tipping is more prevalent and at a higher rate than is the norm in, say, Europe. It's not a bonus, it's the only money they get.

Yeah, it's pretty bogus.

Anecdotally, when I was visiting Atlanta, Georgia, I went to a restaurant there. We were being served by a waitress in training, and, I'll cut out how we got on to the topic in the first place, but, long story short, while in training there, they were getting paid a near-living wage (or, at least, that's what it sounded like, I don't actually know the cost of living there). The thing is, her trainer, was only getting paid something like... two dollars an hour? It was ridiculous, that the people in training should get something like four times as much as someone in a full position.

[Honest Tiefling]

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US.

I believe that tips are non-taxable income, but some restaurants force wait staff to share tips with other staff, which is another practice I'm not terribly fond of.

[Aedilred]

I believe that tips are non-taxable income, but some restaurants force wait staff to share tips with other staff, which is another practice I'm not terribly fond of.

There was a bit of a scandal here a couple of years ago when it transpired some restaurants (specifically, one restaurant group, although I think others were also doing it) were adding a service charge to the bill in lieu of tips - in itself not unusual - but not distributing that money to the staff. That that's the case has been a long-held suspicioin generally when it comes to service charges, so some patrons (especially of an older generation) would sometimes confirm with their waiter that they would actually get the money in question if it was added to the bill rather than left in cash on the table. In this instance, the management were also instructing staff to lie when patrons asked, and tell them they were receiving the money even though they weren't.

[Peelee]

Well, last I heard, servers got $2.13/hr, but if a server doesn't get the federal minimum wage even after tips, then the restaurant must make up the rest. So they always make the minimum wage, at least (my feelings on the minimum wage is a story for another day, likely another forum altogether). Still, not tipping makes you look like an ass. I've tipped only a few cents before, when I got the worst service I've ever had in my life; I feel like that said, "I do tip, just not you."

And lunatic fringe linked to the financial issues already. That'll learn me to read links before replying.

[Keltest]

Well, last I heard, servers got $2.13/hr, but if a server doesn't get the federal minimum wage even after tips, then the restaurant must make up the rest. So they always make the minimum wage, at least (my feelings on the minimum wage is a story for another day, likely another forum altogether). Still, not tipping makes you look like an ass. I've tipped only a few cents before, when I got the worst service I've ever had in my life; I feel like that said, "I do tip, just not you."

And lunatic fringe linked to the financial issues already. That'll learn me to read links before replying.

Depending on the state, you could also make minimum wage before tips. California does this, I think.

[Peelee]

Depending on the state, you could also make minimum wage before tips. California does this, I think.

Alabama does not. Color me surprised.

[Kyberwulf]

Actually, tips are taxable. I think if you make more then 10,000 a year in cash, you have to report it to the IRS.

[Aliquid]

Tipped Minimum Wage

So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

[Keltest]

So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

I'll just say that the answer is partly political and leave it at that.

[Razade]

So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

Minimum wage in AZ is 10 bucks as well. Servers who make tips generally make 7 bucks. That seems fairly standard from what I've seen/worked.

To the other question....partly yes. Cost of living in places like Seattle and LA are way way higher than anywhere in Tenn. The other part is, as noted, political thus verboten.

[Solaris]

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US. They do get a wage, but it's entirely wiped out by tax, and other deductions. Their take-home income thus comes entirely from tips.

I don't think you understand correctly, being as taxes and other similar deductions are a percentage of the paycheck. If the wage part of the paycheck is wiped out by taxes, it's because they made a sufficient amount in tips to do so.

I'm also quite certain that if the waiter doesn't make up the difference in income by tips, the restaurant is obligated to pay them at least minimum wage. That's how the law works. That's why I'm not moved by pleas to tip out of consideration for the waiter's financial straits; they're still guaranteed minimum wage even if nobody tips them. Bad service does not deserve a tip, period. Good service does.

I believe that tips are non-taxable income, but some restaurants force wait staff to share tips with other staff, which is another practice I'm not terribly fond of.

Eh. Waiters aren't the only ones who make the restaurant work. So far as worker exploitation goes, that's a pretty mild offense.

So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

The American federal government requires a wage of at least $2.13 per hour be paid to employees that receive at least $30 per month in tips. If wages and tips do not equal the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour during any week, the employer is required to increase cash wages to compensate.

But other than that, yeah. America has huge differences in the cost of living. When I moved from outside a military post in central Texas up to southeast Michigan, the cost of living just about doubled - and I'm not even living in a pricey neighborhood or an expensive city. That's why it's hard to assume what's good for one place is good for another - the local economies are all rather different.

[Starwulf]

I don't think you understand correctly, being as taxes and other similar deductions are a percentage of the paycheck. If the wage part of the paycheck is wiped out by taxes, it's because they made a sufficient amount in tips to do so.

I'm also quite certain that if the waiter doesn't make up the difference in income by tips, the restaurant is obligated to pay them at least minimum wage. That's how the law works. That's why I'm not moved by pleas to tip out of consideration for the waiter's financial straits; they're still guaranteed minimum wage even if nobody tips them. Bad service does not deserve a tip, period. Good service does.

It may be the law, but it doesn't mean it's followed. My wife was a waitress for quite a few years, and there were plenty of weeks, and even months where her take home was significantly below minimum wage, and she never got a bump up from the restaurant to put her at the actual minimum wage. And before you say "You should have done something", we tried. We contacted the BBB about them, and the MD senator, and even our local county rep, and none of them did a damn thing about it. The best we got was a "We'll look into it", and that was it.