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2020-03-12, 09:37 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Here we go on reviews.
Spoiler: Paladin: Oath of Volition
Why three spells for the Spell options? It goes against the standard for oath spells
Channel Divinity - This is pretty weak and pretty situational. I would look at having a second channel divinity option that is usable in more situtions. Additionally, I would make this one be an auto-success or if you don't want to do that let them re-roll with advantage.
More will come when you finish the sub-class.
Spoiler: Fighter Subclass: The Olympian
Events - I see several of these that require objects. What is your plan on the objects? is it something that you need to buy? Are they new exotic weapons? Also, are they ranged weapons so you can use dex or str?
Shotput - The damage on this seems low considering that there are no additional effects. Why would I choose to do this over a longbow that gives 1d8+dex x2 at level 5. You can keep the damage as it is currently, but give a rider of some sort. Knock down maybe? Something else. Or you can give more incremental damage increases.
Hammer Toss - I like this, it's a flat out improvement and usefuly for strength fighters. Although as written I could throw a maul using my dex mod for attack and damage. Is that expected?
Discus - Why is this a full action, it really should be an attack in my mind even if it ignore half-cover. I would even consider "You may draw and throw as an attack" then also ignore half cover, but make it a 1d6 damage weapon.
Javelin - Cool, think it would work to allow drawing multiple in a single attack action as well?
Wrestling - So, this will make you cause damage when someone attempts to escape and fails. Is that intended? (even if it isn't it should be, because that's cool).
Decathalete - This is very fitting and powerful for a capstone. I like it a lot.
Spoiler: Otherwordly Patron: the Vestige
Ohh an intelligence based warlock. That has my curiosity peaked immediately.
Mutable Invocations - This one feels a little broken to me. Invocations are pretty darn powerful as they are currently so 2 extra ones is really good. The problem becomes that you can switch invocations when you bind a new vestige. So, I can choose an invocation that allows me to cast a spell 1 time per day. Then, when I take a short rest I can switch that invocation out with a different one that lets me cast a spell X times per day. That alone allows you to increases the spells cast by a warlock by a large amount. The extra invocations seem fine, it's the switching at a short rest that seems like a problem to me (especially at level 14 when you can bind 3 at once).
Power- Ascendant Overreach - So, you can actually get higher than you spell level with this. Does that seem like a problem to you? I don't think it would be all that bad, but I have to check
Power - Champion of the Abdicant - This sucker is pretty powerful and I love it. I can't tell if I love it because I can abuse it or because it's a cool power though :)
Power- Lost and Found - This definitely needs
Power- Void Bloom - please, please, please don't make it permanent. You can break so many NPCs this way for DMs. Making it last until the next long rest should fit the need without ticking off them DM
Spoiler: Warlock Patron: The IFCC
Magical Boon - I think that wording on this needs to be cleaned up. The ability seems fine, reading it is confusing though
"When you complete a long rest, you may choose one level 1 or higher spell, at a level you can cast, to become a known warlock spell for you" or something like that is a little clearer.
Overall it has a good feel, and is one of the less complicated subclasses in this contest. I'm a pretty big fin of the design here.
Spoiler: Sorcerous Origin: Fateweaver
Paths of Thread
Threadcutter - This is super, super powerful at early levels. You can take a sorcerer who gets 2 or 3 spell at level 1 or 2 and make them have 5-6 level one spells in a day. That's a lot... Even at higher levels 4-5 extra castings of Shield is nothing to scoff at.
Paths Unwound
Threadweaver - The spell ability seems good. The Slight of Hand checks are weird though and just doesn't seem to fit.
Overall seems like a really good batch of subclasses here. Especially since we as a group needded to come up with lots and lots of ideas!Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-12, 08:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2017
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Thanks so much for the feedback!
I’m still working on Discus. There’s something cooking to do with arcing the toss, it’s still half baked. This is the only one that needs an item write up that I can think of.
Shotput is intended to allow you to throw any object that sort of fits the weight and shape. So stones, small , chests, boxes or casks are all fair game and deal the listed damage which is intended to roughly match Cantrip damage, but adds Str. The damage scaling is to offset the draw limitations for thrown weapons.
While Dex can be used for most of this, it’s not a path to any optimization I can see, this would pale in comparison to an Arcane archer or battlemaster, and it’s intended to present some viable, niche options for the Str based fighter.
Wrestling is even better.
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2020-03-13, 08:54 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2017
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Thanks for the feedback. I may move the Threadcutter 1st level ability to 14th level, with some minor alteration. I don't really like the current 14th level Threadcutter ability. It's on theme, but kinda bland. And then I can come up with a new ability for 1st level.
I chose Sleight of Hand because it is the best representation for skill at weaving. As a DM, if a player wanted to weave a blanket or sow a shirt, I'd probably call for a Sleight of Hand check, maybe a Sleight of Hand check using Intelligence (like the rope tying check in Xanathar's). Any thoughts? Maybe it could be something not skill related, like the Threadreader one.Spoiler: Homebrew Subclasses by RickAsWrittenRoguish Archetype – Bladecloak - 1st Place, Subclass Contest X
Martial Archetype – Irradiated - 1st Place, Subclass Contest XI
Warlock Otherworldly Patron – The Nilbog - 1st Place, Subclass Contest XII
Barbarian - Path of the Bureaucrat
Remaining Subclasses Found Here
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2020-03-13, 09:50 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
This is actually a pretty difficult contest. It's not just 1 idea per level, but multiple. You have a good solid start. if you happen to finish it and feel comfortable, let us know and I will look it over again.
Moving it to 14 would be a solid choice.
I can see why you would use slight of hand for that. So, if you want to keep it that way I don't see anything wrong with it. If you just give it a little bit more fluff in the ability it should take care of it.Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-13, 02:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2013
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
I am planning to dial this back some: my current plan is to give each vestige a selection of thematically appropriate Invocations and give the binder just one extra invocation which has to be one known by an active vestige. He can still trade it out on a short rest, but he's limited by his known vestiges (and thus his investiture in intelligence) and by having just the one invocation that's mutable.
One of my design goals here was to make a warlock that was closer to a "full caster", and one of the disparities is the lack of access to a ton of low level spell slots to cast utility spells with at mid/high tier. The warlock base class solves this to a limited degree with invocations, so building on that system seems like the natural choice. But I agree that it was too strong as written.
Power- Ascendant Overreach - So, you can actually get higher than you spell level with this. Does that seem like a problem to you? I don't think it would be all that bad, but I have to check
Power - Champion of the Abdicant - This sucker is pretty powerful and I love it. I can't tell if I love it because I can abuse it or because it's a cool power though :)
Power- Lost and Found - This definitely needs
Power- Void Bloom - please, please, please don't make it permanent. You can break so many NPCs this way for DMs. Making it last until the next long rest should fit the need without ticking off them DM
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2020-03-13, 02:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-13, 06:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2013
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Made several changes, most based on nickl's suggestions.
-Mutable Invocations changed to Vestigial Invocation, a much more limited (and, IMO, more flavorful) ability
-Added a clause to Lost and Found which reduces the duration of the duplicate spell you cast by the elapsed duration of the spell that triggers the ability
-Void Vulnerability and Resistance can now be removed via Remove Curse, Greater Restoration, or Wish
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2020-03-14, 09:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2017
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-15, 11:03 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2010
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- X/Z 12,550,821
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Ight sorry for the delay. Artificer specialty: Machinist is up. It's a little all over the place, but I think it has some merit. It's certainly got no end of choices to make. Enjoy!
Sometimes, I have strong opinions on seemingly inconsequential matters.
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2020-03-19, 09:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2013
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
My thoughts on what's been posted so far:
Spoiler: MechanistI strongly encourage a "summoner" artificer build, it makes perfect sense. For context, it's worth noting that I made my own homebrew summons-based artificer quite recently. That means that it's a bit hard for me to be entirely objective about the differences in how you handled it compared to my approach, so I'm going to skip over some of the purely subjective differences and get to the one place I think you need to dial back on hard: balance. In particular, the CR you allow for the mechanist's minions is far past the curve of what any summon-based class is currently capable of. At sixth level, a druid can summon a group of animals with a total CR of 2 for one hour, three times per day, and it costs him his three third level spell slots. A sixth level necromancer wizard can have a team of six skeletons/zombies with a total CR of 1.5, lasting all day but still costing him his three third level spell slots. The mechanist can have a team with a total CR of 5 with him all day, every day, with no reduction in his spell-casting ability at all.
This means your mechanist will have more than double the man-power of another summoner build, and will have the same number of spell slots available for others things as compared to a full caster dedicated to the concept because he's using no magic to keep his army running. It appears to be balanced instead by gold and prep time, which isn't inherently bad, but no other class is really designed that way, and it puts the DM in a weird place where he has to watch how much gold he gives you so you can't build an army that's too strong.
In my opinion, you should keep the CR of your total horde to 1/4 of your artificer level (with fractions explicitly allowed due to the existence of CR 1/8 and 1/4 NPCs) which will keep you in the "all day" power level range of the necromancer's skele-squad. If you feel the need to justify the cost of the materials for the creations to feel "real" make building AND sourcing the materials a single downtime activity without a gold cost: you could hand-waive this as your guy selling lesser automatons on the side to fund his more dangerous creations, or salvaging his parts from a junkyard, but it wouldn't force the DM to award you a certain amount of gold just to use your class features.
I like the infusions you designed for your robots, and all the one-of-three choices you've come up with are great. Really it's all very solid except for the core issue of how crazy strong your squad can get, and the weirdness of the gold cost.
Spoiler: Oath of VolitionThis is my favorite so far, literally a paladin of choosing things. Great way to take the core concept and run with it.
Not sure about some of the spells you picked and how they relate to the theme.
Unstoppable Charge and Inexorable March are great.
Aura of will is kind of boring, but then again so are most of the paladin aura improvements, so par for the course I suppose.
Invincible Idea is perfect.
Spoiler: The OlympianI feel like you took the theme and ran with it a little too hard, shoehorning everything into several core "events" rather than building a coherent and viable subclass. Do Shotput and Hammer Throw need their own individual options? Can they be combined into a more general "throw heavy thing" feature? I'm alright introducing a new weapon type, ie the discus, but it seems pretty redundant compared to the javelins anyway. The subclass is basically "very mobile skirmisher javelin specialist" which is totally fine, but I feel like all the other stuff is pretty redundant.
You short-change the potential this guy could have as an unarmed combatant: aside from wrestling, the Greeks included boxing and a boxing/wrestling hybrid that was effectively MMA, so if anyone should get a dynamite unarmed combat package it would be these guys.
You're also missing any equestrian specialties, and I think there's a place in my heart for a chariot specialist fighter.
Spoiler: The IFCCMuch love to a multi-patron concept.
A warlock, with his flexible slots, is a dangerous person to give access to any spell. Any spell a wizard can use to break an economy in half (be it a financial economy or an action economy) with three or four castings on a given day a warlock can tear to ribbons with thirty or forty. There should be a daily limit set on the any-list spell, whether that's your charisma modifier or something else.
Spoiler: FateweaverProbably my second favorite right now.
Mechanically, very solid. It's a very subtle subclass for a class that's usually very flashy: this is a great niche, and one not well filled. Even the shadow sorcerer has splashy features of ominous and obvious darkness, but this is smooth. The portent-esque features are nice without stepping on the diviner's toes.
I'm a bit concerned about a Threadcutter/Threadweaver being a bit too resource efficient in terms of spells per day, but it would be a very minor overtuning if anything, and frankly I'm stretching to find something to be critical of.
Spoiler: Oath of the Planar WarriorGreat spell list. The rest of the spell lists so far have been a bit befuddling to me, but yours is perfect. Useful, topical, fun.
I'm actually reading this for the first time right now: it must not have been finished the last time I went through it, and damn it's cool. Rethinking my current ranking.
The switching of planar alignment is rad. All the abilities are cool.
Great work overall, nothing to criticize. If I have one quibble, it's that the capstone ability specifically calls out an ability relating to the shadowfell (the teleportation) but that's the only one that's specifically namedropped. IMO, just get rid of that reference: you can just as easily teleport via any of the other planes (and what if he's in the shadowfell to begin with?). But that is a reeeeal stretch for something to complain about. Great job.
Spoiler: Way of the FeyralI'm not sure I care for them getting both 1/3 caster slots AND full use of Ki. Seems like overkill, both in terms of powerlevel and options paralysis.
In general, this seems like less of one subclass with many choices, and four different subclasses that have a few things in common. You can't mix and match features and you can't change your choices, so how is a "Cat Feyral" not it's own distinct subclass when compared to the "Snake Feyral"? Yes, there are branching choices down the line which helps keep things on point, but even then the same problems persist because those choices are explicitly locked in when you pick them.
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2020-03-19, 11:05 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Put together a hasty translation of my 3.5 Juggler prestige class for this. It's got some stuff to iron out still for sure, but I think all the choices are compelling enough that even if some are objectively better the others will still get picked.
Currently operating the 5e Subclass Contest and the 5e Base Class Contest. Check them out if even just to vote or give feedback, we love that in there.
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2020-03-20, 12:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2017
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Thanks so much for your feedback!
I emphatically disagree with almost every point.
I don’t think anything indicates javelin specialist beyond one of the events being javelin based.
This was intended to be a “straightforward fighter” akin to the Champion but with the emphasis on Choices, the theme of the contest. But each choice improves core functionality: mobility, versatility of weapon choice, variety of possible actions.
Hammer Throw and Shotput are both very different, and serve different purposes: one-handed vs two handed, ranges, possible damage (Shotput is single action with Cantrip type damage), one can be used with “whatever” and the other is for heavy weapons.
The Discus is giving me trouble and swapping it for a Chariot event doesn’t seem like a bad idea beyond common associations. The Discus is a “legendary” Olympic event with a famed classical sculpture. The Spartacus movie made the Chariot seem more associated with gladiatorial events.
As for Wrestling, Pankration was a fairly formalized combat form. I think what I have here is a sweet spot between a bump and a straight unarmed focused subclass.
Thanks again for giving me something to think about!
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2020-03-20, 06:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2017
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
I'm not sure why I specified the shadowfell here, maybe it was some memory about the wording of the Way of the Shadow monk (although looking at it this morning, it says nothing about the shadowfell). I changed it to this instead to make it more generic
As a bonus action, you can make a short step into another plane then back, teleporting you up to 30 ft.
Luckily for me, there are lots and lot of spells that use the planes in 5e. So, I had an abundance of spells to choose from in the spell lists Thanks for the review.Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-20, 12:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2011
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- Minnesota
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Good point. I decided the simplest and cleanest fix was "slots used to cast your Magical Boon spell are refreshed on a long rest, but not a short rest." So a tiny bit of extra bookkeeping in exchange for not breaking everything.
I will try to get feedback to those who have finished since my last round of feedback. Also speak up if you've made changes since and want the revised version evaluated.My Homebrew (Free to use, don't even bother asking. PM me if you do, though; I'd love to hear stories).
Avatar done by me (It's Durkon redrawn as Salvador from Borderlands 2).
Nod, get treat.
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2020-03-20, 12:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2017
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
And I apologize, but there will be no more reviews coming from me this time around. Life just got crazy after bringing home a new baby and it doesn't lend itself to reviews on complication subclasses like in this contest. Good luck everyone!
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-20, 03:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2006
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2020-03-20, 03:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2017
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-20, 03:57 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2006
- Location
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2020-03-21, 09:51 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2017
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Pronouns he/him/his
5e Homebrew Subclass Creation Guide - PEACH | Extended Homebrew Post
My Dungeon Master's Guild Entries, Pay What you want
Spoiler: 5e Subclass Contest Wins
● IV-Pinball Wizard
● VI-Luchador Bard
● XIII-Rogue, Tavern Wench
● XV-Monk, Way of the Shrine Guardian
● XVI-Cleric, Madness Domain
● XVIII-Fighter, Chef
● XXI-Artificer, Battling Bowman
● XXV-Ley Line Sorcerer
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2020-03-23, 01:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2017
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Congrats man.
I updated the Threadweaver based on feedback given. Thanks to all that helped.
Update found here: Sorcerous Origin: ThreadweaverSpoiler: Homebrew Subclasses by RickAsWrittenRoguish Archetype – Bladecloak - 1st Place, Subclass Contest X
Martial Archetype – Irradiated - 1st Place, Subclass Contest XI
Warlock Otherworldly Patron – The Nilbog - 1st Place, Subclass Contest XII
Barbarian - Path of the Bureaucrat
Remaining Subclasses Found Here
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2020-03-26, 01:01 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2019
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- Home, Social Distancing
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Just some feedback:
fighter subclass: The Olympian:
Love it, definitely seems a more interesting and customizable than the standard champion.
As mentioned by others, some ribbon or non event options/features could be good. Some ideas:
1)Being an Olympian/professional athelete usually comes with recognition and fame. A feature could plays on renown for some role play opportunities.
2)Competitive events usually have strict regulations/rules. Could there be a benefit in following rules?
3)Athletes are usually Keep fit, could this provide a minor boost to their health or physical stats?
Apart from that, I’m all for including even more events.
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2020-03-26, 01:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Thanks! The way I was thinking of it was that while yes, you can have a big army, that army and what you can do to it is all you have (more or less). So to speak, everything revolves around them, and any one machine being disabled means losing everything that machine was bringing to the fight as well (as well as resources). Losing a machine means losing access to more class features than usual.
Think of the machines like magical items in the sense that you're spending gold and time on them, not to mention the fact that they're usually in danger during fights (And receive less healing!). So while yes, they are powerful, they also have a potentially high maintenance cost that might make one loath to treat them as expendable.
Also note that you can only have five machines if you have at least 20 INT, which may not be the case for some time. And also every time you level up, you have to pay in order for your machines to "level up" too. Only your initial level 3 set of machines is free.
On the other end, consider that since skeletons are humanoid, you can outfit them with (potentially magical) weapons and armor, which you can't do for machines.
All that said, you are right, the power level is high (Especially considering innate qualities or attacks the machine bring to the table - I'm gonna have to make some exclusions to valid machine form choices. No Gorgons or Cockatrices!). I'll consider curbing it, but I'm not yet sure how I want to.
Changelog for Machinist!
Spoiler: Changes
Added missing damage types to Energy Projector: Lightning, Acid, and Physical.
Slightly bumped burn damage of Waters of Phlegethos.
Mana Battery now requires only 9th level.
Added new infusions: Anode, Static Discharge, Magplating, Magfield, Deus Est Machina.
Deus Est Machina is kinda silly power-wise, if you think about it. But it's cool, innit?
Feedback Time! At last. There are some especially great entries this time around.
Spoiler: Paladin - Oath of Volition
Oath Spells: I like the idea of creating a different Oath Spell dynamic, but just ONE spell, swapping per long rest seems a little prohibitive. Consider a metric for increasing the number of Oath Flexes. Ex: Number of spells equal to Cha Modifier, calculated by level, one per spell level, etc.
Voice of Freedom: I like it! Just be sure to specify that it cleanses any effect that reduces a creature's speed to zero, not effects that onlyreduce a creature's speed to 0.
Unstoppable Charge: Nice, no problems.
Aura of Liberty: Rephrase so that it uses your already existing Aura of Protection. Ex: "At the end of each long rest, choose one of the following enhancements to apply to your Aura of Protection..." Otherwise, no problems! I really like the remote Divine Smite. You may also wish to consider advantage vs effects that would move the target against their will.
Inexorable March: Good, but riddle me this: What happens if you shove a target backwards during your charge? Do you hit them again once you reach them? What happens if you shove them into another creature in your path? Do you start rolling up a big Katamari of enemies until the end of your charge?
Invincible Idea: Great, but clarify the fact that creatures can continue fighting at 0 HP (But can still die and must still make death saves).
Overall pretty solid! I probably wouldn't play it, but I'd love if someone else in the party wanted to.
Spoiler: Fighter - Olympian
Add some formatting just for clarity.
Events: Interesting take on maneuvers.
Shotput: Solid, BUT. Treat it like a weapon entry. Say "You become proficient with" if you now apply your proficiency score to attacks made with the object. Also qualify any weapon attributes the item gains. Ex: "...gains the Thrown property, with a range of..." This advice is relevant to several entries, so I'll just mark those with the tag Rephrase.
Hammer Toss: I like this. Reminds my of Roy's Sword. Rephrase.
Discus: Rephrase. Also, create an item entry for the new weapon.
Javelin: Looks good.
Hurdles: A bit niche but ok.
Sprinting: Synergy with Hurdles is good. Not sure what the use case is, but being Sanic can be cool.
Marathon: It's fine, but the phrasing itches my brain a bit, since most exhaustion effects already allow a saving throw. At your discretion, use "...another saving throw..." instead. This is an incredibly small nit though, disregard freely.
Long & High Jump: So, what you're saying is that if I use Crazy Cool Celt's Thri-kreen race, (10ft high jump, 30ft long jump, no running starts required), triple that with Boots of Striding and Springing, the jump spell, Long Jump, and High Jump, I'll be able to make a...360ft high jump and a 1080ft long jump!? From a standing start at any time!?
Dude. Count me in. Something something tall buildings in a single bound. Just remember this: The long jump in isolation as your only movement in a round involves moving at a calculated 123 miles per hour. If you can also take the Dash action as a bonus action, and are under the effects of haste, and have a movement speed of 30ft, then you can travel 145 miles per hour.
I think. Lol.
Pole Vault: As with Hurdles, interesting, not sure about the use case.
Wrestling: A little redundant ever since the Class Feature Variants UA introduced the Unarmed fighting style, which does much of the same things. IF it stacks, ok I guess. but consider other benefits. Also, if you have monk levels, do you apply your martial arts dice instead, sine that's your unarmed attack damage?
Decathlete: Feels like swimming speed should be an Event option. Ok otherwise.
Overall, seems ok! Maybe even a little underpowered.
Spoiler: Patron - The IFCC
Excellent idea. Truly excellent. Has someone done this before? Seems crazy, but I don't think so.
Magical Boon: A very interesting riff on Magical Secrets. However, similar to Oath of Volition, I think literally one spell is too few. Two or three at later levels would be best. But no more. Also, I don't like how the long rest spell slots work. If you use all your slots to cast that spell, does that mean you turn into a crappy wizard or sorceror? No more slots until your long rest? Seems to violate the core of Warlock.
Forbidden Knowledge: Great idea. However, I think ALL weapons, ALL armors, or ONE skill, language, OR tool is a bit unfair to skills, tools, and languages. Consider gaining proficiency in three weapons, three armors, or three skills, tools, or languages.
You know, one for each member of the IFCC.
Also, 1/short rest to add double your proficiency score seems a little meh. Consider Cha Mod/Long rest instead.
Fiendish Focus: Good, but perhaps you should add the damage to spells of that energy type you cast as well?
Soul Splice: So...wait. This class feature's function is to un-gimp, and in fact, possibly supercharge Magical Boon? While I do like Unlimited Arcane Power, I'm not sure if this is the right way. Does this mean your Mystic Arcanum grenades just become normal slots? That refresh on a short rest? That'd be pretty crazy. My recommendation? This ain't a Soul Splice, try for something closer to the comic.
Closing Thoughts: Formatting! Please! Not for clarity, but for style! Gotta have those IFCC colors, Purple, Yellow, Orange (I think Director Lee is Yellow, Cedrik is Orange, and Nero is Purple)! Also, consider breaking everything down by the Rule of Three! One for each IFCC head! For example, consider this rough edit:
Magical Secrets: At the end of each long rest, the IFCC will grant you access to many more spells than a normal patron, but with a twist. At the end of each long rest, choose up to three spells of up to the highest level you can cast from one of the IFCC's offered lists. They count as warlock spells that you know.
Director Lee: All Transmutation Spells
Cedrik: All Conjuration Spells
Nero: All Necromancy Spells
Forbidden Knowedge:
Director Lee: Three Weapons.
Cedrik: Three Armors
Nero: Three Skills, tools, or languages (or one of each, if the former is too good)
Three uses of expertise per long rest, of course.
Fiendish Focus: Fine as is, just format according to IFCC standards.
Soul Splice: I say go for a more comic-faithful interpretation. Perhaps once per long rest, A member of the IFCC of choice will grant a soul splice to the player. The player is treated as having every spell from the associated list (see Magical Secrets) list prepared, and gains a few bonus spell slots, but has to make an auxillary Concentration check each time they would normally have to (As well as once per hour), or else the Splice is lost.
But, just my thoughts.
Spoiler: Sorceror - Fateweaver
Threadweaver: Oh geez. Mix this with 2 levels of Divination wizard, being a halfling with the racial feat, and the Lucky Feat and you deal 12d6 psychic damage to the DM each time a d20 is rolled. Jesus. This is fun and all, but consider a different effect.
Threadcutter: I think until the END of your next turn would be better, but YMMV. Good otherwise.
Threadreader: Works.
Metaweaver: Sounds good. I like Metamagic.
Weaver II: Weird. Could be cool with the right setup though, I imagine. I kinda don't get the deal of the auras though.
Cutter II: Good. However, consider this: at 20th level, Weaver II lets you regain 6 Sorcery points per long rest by upcasting. A first level spell slot is worth 2 sorcery points, so if you have a Cha score of at least 20, and a bag of 5 rats, then you have 10 sorcery points per long rest instead (or spell slots, alternatively). It's just better in most ways, unless you want the Indimidation advantage. You may want to add a "non-cantrip" or creature size/CR stipulation to avoid this.
Reader II: Looks good, but the non-damaging stipulation is a bit odd. What's the idea here? There are plenty of non-damaging offensive spells. Did you mean "Must target yourself or an ally," or something? It's not bad, just odd.
Followed or Formed: I really like how which 3rd option you get is decided by your previous choices. That's a really neat feature.
Thread of Destiny: Interesting feature! Are sure it should be only once per long rest though? Maybe you should pay a spell slot? Also, the literal interpretation brings intereting metal images to mind. When you take this action, do you, like, momentarily shift into the Plane of Fate to perform your feat?
Fate Breaker: Solid feature, but I feel like the name or effect should change, since fate breaker sound like you're preventing something rather than making more likely to happen.
All in all, some good features! Needs to tying together, but looks cool. Maybe give proficiency with Weaver's tools as a ribbon?
Spoiler: Oath of the Planar Warrior
Congradulatio on the new kid!
Channeling the Planes: Interesting choice. Clean phrasing a bit. Specifically, for Astral, what does "Being attacked" mean? Elaborate. Any attack or spell attack roll? Iunno if Elysium is the right choice for positive energy effects. There is a positive energy plane, after all. Also, the latter three are all the same. Try differentiating.
Planar Aura: As per my advice to Oath of Volition, phrase in terms of your Aura of Protection. Immune to poison damage and poisoned condition is a bit strong. Are you sure you don't just want resist/advantage? Shadowfell is the same as Abyss, try something different for one of them. Celestia is good. Does it stack with Life Cleric's thing?
Empowered Channel Divinity: Astral: I have no idea where the phrasing is going. Reconcile this with the original description. As is, it adds almost (?) nothing. Latter three are all the same, make em' different! Otherwise, it's just the illusion of choice. Well. Moreso.
Planar Warrior: Are you sure you want to be able to deal 2d8 damage of ANY type? Otherwise good.
Overall, needs some polish, but is on a good path. I can see this being an interesting subclass.
Spoiler: Way of the Furry I mean Feyral
Heh. Anyway.
Spellcasting: Are you sure you want to be a 1/3 caster? There's plenty of precedent for just using Ki to cast.
Shilleagh: Might be better just to make it a class feature instead of tying it to the spell. Otherwise good.
Natural Connection: Seems ok. Kinda like the Way of Mercy.
Wild Style: Good overall, but the Fox Spirit choices are a bit too wordy (and keep in mind who this is coming from). Simplify the wording or try something else. Additionally, the second Snake Spirit choice is a bit odd. Just one or two duration clauses are fine.
Primal Form: No complaints! Everything looks fine.
Feyral Form: I get what you're going for, but as above, make it less tangly. As Archer would say: Phrasing!
Spoiler: Rogue - Juggler
Put this apple on your head!
This is probably the best juggler/jester type subclass I've seen yet. It really nails the archetype, and I've only got a few nits. First, what happens if you're moved against your will, knocked prone, or otherwise have your juggle interfered with?
It feels a little odd that a Flask ISN'T a "Small, solid object", but I guess.
Apropos of Slippery Dodge, couldn't you just give them an attack of opportunity?
Magic Eater looks great, but just one thing, seems a little off that it affects only things you can Evade. Perhaps allow it to apply to ranged spell attack rolls you Uncanny Dodge?
Flurry of Steel is awesome, but how powerful is it, really? Should there be a limit on uses per long rest?
Spoiler: Way of the Burning Heart
I really like this. It all comes together really nicely. It's like a literal Yin and Yang inside you.
Tainted Ki: Looks good, but go through the demons and look for ones that embody damage types, there's plenty. Hezrou for poison, Palrethee for fire, Gelugon for cold, Baubau for acid, etc.
Haunted Dreams: Really cool flavor. However, also consider making a roll of 10 represent a decisive mental victory over your personal demons, possibly giving you a bonus.
Freed on Death: Cool idea, but mostly just flavor. Is that ok? I'm not sure.
Tormented Fury: Toggleable Reckless Attack? Interesting. Powerful.
Tormented Mind: Good idea, but consider this: what if you could react to a psychic attack by using the demon within as a sort of mental living shield? Perhaps there could be some kind of backlash on the attacker. That would be pretty cool.
Demonic Emanation: Sounds more like an aura. Interesting ability though. If you end up going with the above idea relating to demon and damage types, consider a different spell list for each damage type.
Final Confrontation: Now this is epic (if edgy). Built in character arc! I'd personally change the word "Succumb" to "Consume" since the text implies you're not losing the battle, you're instead subjugating the demon to your will/consuming its power. Otherwise, looks great!
Great execution. I look forward to voting.
Don't worry, I'll comment on Vestige, but in a bit. I'm tired now.Last edited by Phhase; 2020-03-26 at 01:11 AM.
Sometimes, I have strong opinions on seemingly inconsequential matters.
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2020-03-26, 02:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2013
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Looking for opinions on something I've been thinking about: how would everyone feel about moving the Vestige Powers to level 6?
As it stands, I feel like the early levels of this subclass are too strong, and that makes it multiclass-bait. On the warlock by itself, with its limited spell list, I feel like the powers are well balanced, but a 1 level dip into a Vestige warlock would be extremely strong for a wizard. I don't want to outright prohibit these powers from being useful for multiclassing: I could go ahead and say they only apply to warlock spells and be done with it, but I don't care for that solution. After all, why shouldn't a Wizard be able to learn from a being like Karsus, or a Druid call on aid from a depleted Guardian spirit, or a Sorcerer tap into a semi-sentient proto-elemental void? But drawing such significant power from these vestiges should take more time and devotion than a single level should allow.
I feel like an extra skill proficiency/expertise and an extended bonus spell selection, choices you can change on a short rest, should be enough of a benefit for levels one through five: most warlock subclasses have a very minor and/or situational benefit at level 1 (with one notable exception, which should be taken as a lesson about avoiding frontloading features into a warlock subclass).
Everything else would stay the same: you would still get your second bound vestige at level 6 and your increase to vestiges known.
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2020-03-26, 03:25 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
I'll get feedback up for everyone this weekend, but for now some responses to this.
Basically as long as your hands are free whenever it isn't your turn, you can keep juggling. You're a professional, juggling laying down or while being dragged around by the scruff of your shirt is hard but not beyond you. I'll rewrite the language to be more clear.
I was wary of giving them a way to reliably AoO because rogues can sneak attack on those. Though I guess I could do that but just leave the sneak attack clause in.
Magic Eater should probably include spell attack rolls as well. I'll update the language to include that.
I hadn't run the math on Flurry of Steel yet, let's see...:
Spoiler: Comparison
Using a Juggler Rogue and a Rogue without archetype abilities at level 17 (sneak attack 9d6)
- Round 1: Juggler uses bonus action to start juggle (3 items) and makes a single attack. Normal rogue makes two attacks.
- Round 2: Juggler now has four items in juggle, makes two attacks. Rogue makes two attacks.
- Round 3: Juggler now has 5 items in juggle, makes 2 attacks. Rogue makes 2 attacks.
- Round 4, juggler now has 6 items in juggle, makes 6 attacks, rogue makes 2 attacks.
In four rounds, the Juggler gets to make 11 attacks, 9 of which add Dex to damage. A normal rogue makes 8, four of which add Dex to damage. This is the optimum use of Flurry of Steel and takes four rounds to set up. Both rogues can use sneak attack four times. Both are assumed to be using short swords or equivalent. We will assume +5 Dex on both by level 17 when the ability becomes available.
Juggler damage: 11d6 + 45 + 36d6. Average damage over four rounds: 209.5
Rogue damage: 8d6 + 20 + 36d6. Average damage over four rounds 174
So it looks like Flurry of Steel comes out ahead in the long run by about 35 damage. The Thief archetype gives a second turn the first round of combat at the same level, though, which is worth 43.5 average damage once per combat (two attacks with light weapons + Dex on main hand and one sneak attack). Since most combats will end before the juggler gets to have a second 6-item Flurry of Steel in the same combat, I think I'm going to leave it as is.Currently operating the 5e Subclass Contest and the 5e Base Class Contest. Check them out if even just to vote or give feedback, we love that in there.
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2020-03-26, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
I getcha, but I was thinking about a case where you get knocked back - items in the air don't inherit your momentum and are left behind. Might be too physics-y but it's up to you.
Yeah, that's pretty much what I was getting at.
Appending to previous feedback:
Spoiler: Patron - Vestige
Swiss Army Warlock, eh? This should be interesting. The base mechanics seem fine, so I'll break this down by Vestige, for the most part. Are you going to add Pact Boons?
Vestigial Invocation: Just to be clear, this means that each bound vestige grants you a bonus Invocation, right?
The Prisoner: Seems ok. Does Chains of the Prisoner require a reaction, or is it effectively a free action? For that matter, apply that question to all of the vestige powers.
The Ascendant: It's ok. Who's Karsus?
The Abdicant: I regret to inform you that Diplomacy is not a formal skill in 5e. Persuasion works, though. The power is "Twinspell - Self only". Works, I guess. To be clear, the spell must be one that can ONLY target you, not one that targets a single creature that happens to be you in the moment, right?
The Guardian: Oh boy, Reclamation could be huge, literally.
The Lost: Spelltheft/Reflection. Iiiiiinteresting.... Nice flavor too. Potentially great with Reclamation.
The Void: Neat. What's it look like?
The Shadow: Oh boy. That ability could be REALLY powerful. I've made a post once about niche applications of Nystul's Magic Aura, which requires a willing target. This could really kick it up a notch...Wait! If you can cast a spell that brings the dead back to life, could you bring them back against their will!? That would be insane!
The Paradox: Interesting. Especially because Counterspells that enemies use are NOT refunded. Are you refunded material components too?
The Indebted: Interesting spin on Blood Prices for spells. Would Paradox Rewind undo the max hp reduction too?
The Question: There is some extreme potential here. Especially if you combine it with something that lets you cast spells remotely, and/or Distant Spell metamagic. I just need to mull it over for a while...
Honestly, I was unimpressed at first, but now that I'm done, I think it's really quite good. If you're worried about it being Multiclass bait, I contest that that's ok. I like the idea of Synergy Warlock. After all, that's kind of the flavor of the subclass in the first place, yeah? If you want to give it a little more individual identity, give each vestige a unique Invocation and/or Boon. That would cement the cool factor, for me anyway.
Sometimes, I have strong opinions on seemingly inconsequential matters.
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2020-03-26, 06:46 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
You have one bonus invocation "slot" which is an invocation known by any one of your currently bound vestiges. You don't have one for each vestige. It had been that way in an earlier draft, but I changed it due to balance concerns.
The Prisoner: Seems ok. Does Chains of the Prisoner require a reaction, or is it effectively a free action? For that matter, apply that question to all of the vestige powers.[/quote]
They don't require reactions: they're meant to be flavored as augmentations to an existing spell, sort of souped-up limited-use metamagic. This particular one developed into it's own sort of pseudospell as I wrote the class, but the original concept was that the chains augment another control spell and make it harder to escape.
The Ascendant: It's ok. Who's Karsus?
3.5's binder class and the 4e vestige pact warlock both had Karsus as a vestige that could be used. It seemed like an important inclusion, even if he isn't actually explicitly named.
The Abdicant: I regret to inform you that Diplomacy is not a formal skill in 5e. Persuasion works, though.
The power is "Twinspell - Self only". Works, I guess. To be clear, the spell must be one that can ONLY target you, not one that targets a single creature that happens to be you in the moment, right?
These abilities are deliberately designed with broad applications to allow for exactly these sorts of shenanigans.
The Guardian: Oh boy, Reclamation could be huge, literally.
The Lost: Spelltheft/Reflection. Iiiiiinteresting.... Nice flavor too. Potentially great with Reclamation.
The Void: Neat. What's it look like?
The Shadow: Oh boy. That ability could be REALLY powerful. I've made a post once about niche applications of Nystul's Magic Aura, which requires a willing target. This could really kick it up a notch...Wait! If you can cast a spell that brings the dead back to life, could you bring them back against their will!? That would be insane!
The Paradox: Interesting. Especially because Counterspells that enemies use are NOT refunded. Are you refunded material components too?
The Indebted: Interesting spin on Blood Prices for spells. Would Paradox Rewind undo the max hp reduction too?
The Question: There is some extreme potential here. Especially if you combine it with something that lets you cast spells remotely, and/or Distant Spell metamagic. I just need to mull it over for a while...
That said, I'm interested to hear if you can come up with anything fun. I think there's potential with taking a huge AoE spell, making it even bigger with Guardian's Reclamation, then making it ignore cover with the Answer. Blast a section of a dungeon with a Circle of Death with a 120 foot radius, watch it clear out mooks with little trouble before they even get line of sight on you.
Honestly, I was unimpressed at first, but now that I'm done, I think it's really quite good. If you're worried about it being Multiclass bait, I contest that that's ok. I like the idea of Synergy Warlock. After all, that's kind of the flavor of the subclass in the first place, yeah? If you want to give it a little more individual identity, give each vestige a unique Invocation and/or Boon. That would cement the cool factor, for me anyway.
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2020-03-26, 11:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Disregard.
Last edited by Lvl45DM!; 2020-03-27 at 08:27 PM.
I Am A:Neutral Good Human Bard/Sorcerer (2nd/1st Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-14
Dexterity-11
Constitution-16
Intelligence-16
Wisdom-12
Charisma-16
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2020-03-27, 03:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Sometimes, I have strong opinions on seemingly inconsequential matters.
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2020-03-27, 08:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
I Am A:Neutral Good Human Bard/Sorcerer (2nd/1st Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-14
Dexterity-11
Constitution-16
Intelligence-16
Wisdom-12
Charisma-16
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2020-03-27, 08:27 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2019
Re: D&D 5e Subclass Contest Chat Thread
Spoiler: MachinistBeing able to have 4 CR1 beasts or monstrosities at your beck and call by level 4, revivable with a short rest, with no concentration, is miles better than any other minionmancy in the game other than perhaps higher level Animate Dead shenanigans. So it's an even more bonkers version of a mechanic that's already very powerful in 5e. As cool as it is to be walking around with 4 robotic Brown Bears, it's not balanced by any stretch of the word. The gold cost is significant, but really isn't a good balancing mechanism due to how DM and campaign-dependent gold acquisition is (It's also not clear whether you get your first machines for free or if you have to build them).
-Selfless giving shield proficiency is irrelevant since Artificers are already proficient with shields.
-Lead from the front gives you extremely reliable advantage on a great deal of creatures (assuming you use Large machines and build for melee). Combo with multiclassing for a crazy strong dip.
Spoiler: OlympianFor the Shotput ability, does it add any ability modifier to damage, or is it just straight 2d8/4d8? Can't really judge the subclass as a whole until it's done
Spoiler: The VestigeI like all the options, especially granting some of the less-used invocations. It's a nice way of getting some use out of rarely-seen existing content. It does feel like the subclass starts to falter in the higher levels though. Not much is really added on other than more vestiges (and of course the invocations, so despite the power level increasing it ends up feeling kinda barren.
Spoiler: The IFCCInteresting mechanics, neat theme, and seems pretty balanced! I like it
Spoiler: FateweaverI like the three fates reference (assuming it was intentional)! The wording of the Threadcutter's fear ability seems a little odd. If you were to cast a fireball, would every non-fire-immune creature in the radius count as "affected", since the spell does half damage on a successful save?
Spoiler: Planar WarriorOverall, feels neat but very unbalanced
Tenets- The two tenets seem, kinda oddly in conflict? The only way to really learn about the planes is to visit them, talk to people who have, or talk to people from those planes who have traveled to yours (barring some exceptions like Contact Other Plane), which kinda violates the idea that everyone should stick to their own plane.
Spells- Seem fine balance-wise, though once again, it does feel dissonant with the second tenet to have spells like Summon Greater Demon and Planar Binding, both of which involve forcing entities from other planes to do things for you, typically not on their home plane.
Channel Divinity- This cool, but also way too strong because it never goes away. You're permanently doing extra damage, or imposing disadvantage with a reaction, or gaining free THP. If it lasted a minute or 10, this would be an excellent CD. As is, it's pretty solidly broken.
Planar Aura- The Astral Aura is basically the Conquest Paladin's 15th level ability, but applied to every attack within 10 feet rather than just attacks that hit you. That's, again, preposterously strong. The other Auras are also extremely powerful whenever they're relevant
Empowered Channel Divinity- You get the choice between the ability to basically lock down an attack-based character every turn, 1d4+10 THP at the start of every turn, or 1d4+5 extra damage on every melee weapon attack, which goes on top of things like Improved Divine Smite. This manages to make a broken ability even more so.
Planar Warrior- Seems fine? Resistance to all damage seems excessive, when compared to what other oaths get. It would probably stand out as very strong if the subclass wasn't packed with even stronger abilities
Spoiler: FeyralFun ways to customize things, especially with spellcasting added on. The lack of any gameplay effect of your animal choice at until level 6 feels a little odd, but the subclasss is already very strong as-is, so it's hard to justify moreThe stars are calling, but let's come up with a good opening line before we answer
Spoiler: Homebrew of Mine