Shipping VIII: Yes, Eight. No, really. We are THAT insane.

[Thanatos 51-50]

/checks his PDA
/hits a few buttons

Yeah, sorry, Grim, but Rabbit here is right. I'm specifically instructed to leave your newbie villany be so that newbie good guys can cut their teeth on you.

Also - Rabbit - we still on for that battle on top of that warehouse by the docks?

[Draken]

(Part 1, Part 2)

The Mysterious History of Doctor Koorli
(With thanks to Christopher Marlowe)

Witness this interlude, by Koorli herself
Written out, of spiritual journeys below:
Of her travels through fire to Tarterian depths;
Meetings with devils, and rivalries spawned.

Interlude Part the First
(With thanks to Mike Carey, etc.)

Spoiler

Show

I write this account for the benefit of future generations, that they may know of my great experience, as doubtless I shall be too busy to recount the tale myself. I do believe parts of it will not be fully understood by anyone who has not experienced themselves a similar occurrence, but they shall be here described to the best of my eloquence.
I could not sleep this night, yet lay that I might be as rested as I could be, exercising nought but my mind, which flitted hither and thither on matters of great import, among them my anticipations of my coming diabolical visitation. The loathsome beast Draken appeared first in my mind, and transported me such that it might seem still my own imaginings; but I perceived this to be a true change.
And here begins confusion; for I had a multiplicity of sensation at this point. I recall it now as many separate occurrences, too many to fit in the time they took, for I know they all assailed my senses concurrently. I know this, yet my mind is not now equipped to recall it truly.
Most numerous were the things I saw. Prominent among them I recall that I stood in a dense forest – I fell, as one falls asleep, to find myself on the dusty plain beside Charon’s ferry; and that I was transported out of the world to the dark where all the luminescent orbs may be seen, and flew down the road drawn by sin and death until I arrived at the great gate; that I was taken up above the world through a starry ocean of singing silver firmament, beyond which were wondrous dominions, among them a dark and fiery world of caverns, on which I alighted; and that I descended through to the foundations of the world, through the grinding entropic maelstrom of the elemental chaos which must surely be the engine of the universe, to a yawning chasm of size like to the world- no, rather the world was barely of size like to this chasm.
All these at once, and more. Perhaps the way to hell is all of these, or none. As yet this remains beyond my meagre knowledge, but I shall learn of it. This I so determine.
While I experienced all these journeys, yet at the same time I was transported instantly, and stood by a certain door of hell, and yet though this was quicker, the others took not more time. I followed my escort as he boarded the ferry, opened the gate and led the way down a road of iced over corpses, their faces fixed in grins, and cheap suits showing their lack of quality in the throes of their deaths.
I stood on the first of nine vast stairs, extending down to the lowest pit imaginable; and I stood at the edge of great abyss in the dark; and I stood within the walls and gates at the border of an endless plain, the fashioned dominion of a high power whose obsession is freedom. As far as angels’ ken a dungeon horrible, on all sides round as one great furnace flamed, yet from those flames no light, but rather darkness visible served only to discover the sights.
I had no grand tour of this tenebrous realm in any of its many aspects. Images flashed before my eyes, all like to what I have already described. Then my companion transported me to a place known as Effrul. A place fashioned in likeness of an English county, for, so he informed me, such was the will of the High Lord. The devils there spent much of their time in intrigue and indulgence, guising themselves as aristocrats in stately homes. Truly there was much there to delight both body and mind.
At that particular moment, a ball was in progress. The butler announced my companion and I as we entered.
“Hell-Prince Draken, and mortal guest.”
This caused quite a stir. My companion was of course one of the highest nobility of that fell kingdom, whatever its aspect, and for a mortal to be present at such a gathering as this was, I was soon informed, previously unheard of. My companion left me for a time as he wished to speak with the High Lord. I will refrain from providing a full account of my conversations with the fiends there present, but for one of particular note:
“So... a real living human woman at the High Lord’s ball... this beggars belief, strains credulity; is truly astounding. And brought here by Draken, no less.” This slender and apparently mutilated figure continually circled me in a highly characterised stalking gait all the while he was talking, and leered. “And for what purpose, I wonder? I suppose it’s doubtful you actually know. Merely mortal mind, after all...”
“Now, now, dear Mangosta, we don’t wish to frighten our guest. She seems well enough to my eyes.”
“My sister, I cannot recall the last time a visitor did not seem well to your eyes.”
“Such is the way of the immortal, is it not? The longer one exists, the more one learns to appreciate all manner of variety. And after so many millennia, to see something new is truly enrapturing. And you, dear lady,” She turned back to me, “Are most definitely something... new.” With a look of intoxication she took my hand and raised it to her lips. “I am Brandi, daughter of the High Lord. The mysterious and highly dangerous man you see before you is my brother, who goes by the title of Night Surgeon, though he had another name, some time ago. And Mangosta you’ve met, though I doubt he was so polite as to introduce himself prior to insulting you. He’s delightfully abrasive in more ways than one.”
“Excuse me, my Lord, my Lady.”
“Yes, Thanatos, what is it?” All the while the Lady Brandi spoke her eyes had remained fixed intensely on mine.
“Forgive me Lady Brandi, High Lord Destro has sent me to bring Dr. Koorli to his presence.”
“While all these nobles stand idle awaiting his pleasure, the High Lord wishes to see a mortal? Pfah!”
“Oh, don’t worry Mango darling. I’m sure I can keep you entertained until Dr. Koorli has had her audience.” She turned again to me. “But don’t be too long, if you please. I’ve a great desire to be more closely acquainted with you, while you’re here.” With a wink and a sultry smile she turned and led Mangosta across into the dance. The Night Surgeon had already left without my noticing.
“This way, if you please, Lady.”
The butler, Thanatos, led me through to a large chamber just off the ballroom. Draken hovered an inch off the floor beside a throne. On the throne sat what appeared to be a human skeleton in regal robes, whose eyes glowed green, and at his hand on the other side of the throne was what appeared to be some sort of demonic panther. Its red eyes fixed on me, displaying something more than animal intelligence.
“Welcome, Koorli. I am Destro Yersul, High Lord of Effrul. The Abomination informs me your visit is the product of an investment of power on the part of Lord Helgraf. I congratulate you – it is rare that a mortal has such fortitude, even rarer that they come down here.”
“My thanks, High Lord.”
“I must ask – being privileged as you are with great knowledge of your own world – how accurate is our little imitation of your nobility?”
“I am uncertain as to whether your realm is accurate to the present period, but it is accurate to some period. That is, in appearance, and ignoring some of your guests’ more visibly demonic countenances. Beyond what I see, I am uncertain. More is in the action than in the appearance, and I have yet much more to see, I think. May I question you, my Lord, about this imitative domain you rule?”
“By all means.”
“For what purpose do you do this?"
“Why, to amuse ourselves. Though the flow of time may be different here than in the mortal realm, we live for eternity, and it is long and tedious if one does not insert a certain amount of variety, to while away the centuries.”
“I see. I take it my timing was fortuitous, to arrive on the night of this ball?”
“Actually, no. In fact, the ball is perpetual – or at least it will continue until we tire of this masquerade and intrigue. The guests come and go, periodically I retire here and speak with whichever of the lesser nobles wish to ask something of me – usually all of them – the ball as a whole continues.”
“And such are the delights of Effrul?”
“I understand we have all manner of delights here, to suit all tastes. I confine myself to the ball, the politics, and the library; but I believe my children between them have sampled every variety of experience they could dream.”
“Do demons dream, then?”
“Nay, not truly, for we do not truly sleep.”
“If I may ask, my lord, what is the reason for your own appearance?”
“These bones I wear? The guise of a lich, undoubtedly something within the compass of your knowledge, but it is seeming only. We demons have no soul separate to our bodies and cannot become undead as mortals can.”
“How long may I stay here?”
“As long as you wish, and you are free to ask after anything you may find here. If you come to see the delights of this nether plane, my children are, I think, the best people to show them to you.”
“Your daughter already expressed a wish to know me better.”
“Naturally she would. If you have no other questions, I suggest you return to the ball and seek her out. Thanatos, I’ll see Mangosta next.”
I returned to the ball, and took the place of Mangosta in dancing with Lady Brandi. She was a rather charming companion, and seemed to exude an almost palpable aura of concentrated pleasure and intoxication – clearly the ideal she principally devoted herself to, such auras of various feelings being a trait of these devils. We conversed on this, and she revealed to me that her aura was one of the few things which could not be easily disguised.
“All aspects of my physical nature, as you see and feel are...optional. Observe.”
As she spoke this last word, she increased in height, her hair switched through a series of colours, and she appeared in various different states of undress before returning to the form she had when she first greeted me. With each change came merely a slight flicker, seen and also felt as something mysterious flashing through the surrounding reality at the speed of thought.
“And finally, say goodbye to Brandi-”
“-And hello to Dirk.”
With one last flicker, her form shifted to that of a man, appropriately attired in a style similar to that of his female form, but altered to fit the gender-change and an appearance perhaps more fitting a man of action.
“So tell me, darling Doctor: how would you like me?”
“Seducing the guest already? Do you think of nothing else, sibling of mine?”
“It’s the pleasure I live for, brother, just as you live for the adrenaline rush of combat.”
“Are all your lives consumed with naught but the satisfaction of your principal pleasures?”
“Of all our pleasures, dear Koorli, but yes. What else can there be here? We have no obligations and no restrictions – we are above such things. And so what is to be done but to obtain whatsoever we desire?”
“I see why Draken brought me to this place in particular. And what of you, Sir Mangosta? While you skulk around your friend, have you aught to say to me of your joys?”
“I have no joy. The High Lord rejects my proposal, he does not deign to offer reasons, he belittles me. And it seems I am less in favour than this woefully limited human wretch, who seems to take her delight in foolishness and aspirations beyond her miniscule wit and will. Continue wowing your mortal plaything with these parlour tricks, I’ve no stomach for such trivialities. Night Surgeon, I’ll likely see you tomorrow.”
As he stormed off, a disappointed Brandi followed in his wake, offering entreaties that he might stay, clearly to no avail. I took the opportunity to question the Night Surgeon.
“Tell me sir, do the powers of magic hold the same sway in this realm is on the mortal plane?”
“Indeed so, for the most part. The majority of daemonic nobility are accomplished mages of some degree. Why have you some knowledge of magic?”
“But of course. It was by magic I first gained my acquaintance with your people.”
“Ah, of course. But naturally, such magicks as would summon and bind us are among those that do not retain their power here, though few can truly master them in any case. I believe my father has in his library a book detailing the differences in magical effect between planes of existence.”
“Now, we don’t wish to bore our guest, brother!” Brandi’s light-hearted tone belied her apparent frustration. “Another dance, perhaps? Or perhaps we could... move things along? Upstairs?” Seeing Mangosta glaring back at us from the doorway as Brandi draped herself over me, knowing I was entering some form of rivalry with a deadly enemy, and delighted by the intellectual stimulation of it, I responded by taking Brandi’s hand and leading her to the stairs, from whence she took me up with exuberant glee to her chambers.
I learned many things in the ensuing hours, which showed me clearly the value of immortal experience and supernatural aptitude, but also that the strength of a human soul is not to be underestimated in any context.
I left Dirk resting and turned my mind to more wholly cerebral pleasures.
“Excuse me? Thanatos, was it? Would you kindly direct me to the library?”
“Certainly. I shall take you there immediately.”
“Tell me – are there no other servants here? You are the only one I have seen, but surely in such a house of such ever-active masters it must be impossible for one alone to handle all the demands of the household?”
“I manage, Lady. There are occasional dissatisfactions – Lady Brandi/Lord Dirk’s requests can be rather demanding and lengthy, but my talents run the way of usefulness in that regard. And indeed there are a few other servants, usually unseen. I am simply the chief among them."
As he named Brandi/Dirk, through some demonic ability he contrived to say both "Lady Brandi" and "Lord Dirk" simultaneously, much as the landscape of hell held several forms at once.
"This is the library, Lady. Anything in particular you seek?”
“Books regarding this realm itself, and regarding magic.”
“Over there and over there. The library catalogue may be found here, or you may call upon me if you have further questions. Excuse me, I’m required back in the ballroom.”
As I sat perusing the books of High Lord Destro’s library, the creature he had had with him in his throne room padded up to me and leapt onto the table to examine the book I was reading.
“You... are more than the pet you appear to be.”
It stared at me again with those eyes that belied the mind greater than would be thought to fit the body. The look it gave me seemed to be appraising.
“Indeed. I am in fact High Lord Yersul’s chief adviser. I adopt this animal shape merely because I prefer to be underestimated. As, I think, do you.”
I sighed wearily. “I have ever been underestimated. But I have ever used whatsoever resources I had to my advantage. Sir, you have me at a disadvantage – I would be obliged if you would tell me your name.”
“Jacklu. I trust you acknowledge the honour in this, for few know my name, and less hear it from my own lips.”
“I realise. And I value your respect.”
“You are a deep one, Doctor Koorli. I can see why Helgraf chose you. You have greatly angered Mangosta, I think, though he needs little cause for rage. I think you know this, and yet you courted this animosity, not out of impetuous emotion, but out of rapidly but carefully considered... what? Ambition? Or simply curiosity?”
“My motives and purposes are ever my own, so long as my will is free. I feel I am equal to what is before me.”
“Indeed, I believe you are. But I will vouchsafe you this ’ere I go: while you are here, you are spirit only – your body remains mortal, and cannot pass the gates of this place. While you remain in Hell, Koorli, you may suffer no bodily harm, but what does befall you will cause damage directly to the soul. Remember that, lest you become impetuous.”
I took this information stoically. I am certain I betrayed nothing, and if the creature Jacklu gleaned any information from my reaction, he gave no indication of it. As he silently reached the door he turned back and added, “Have a care also that should your plans set you against Effrul as a whole, I will show no mercy. Good day, Doctor.”

And so it gets even longer and more complicated, and the references just pile up...

Aw. Not a single all-caps line for me?

[EleventhHour]

Grim just needs an epic slogan, and a memorable weapon...

How about a chain-chainblade-chainsaw? It's a chainsaw, with mini-chainsaws that spin with the chain, and those minichainsaws have compound saw blades attached to the links of thier chains.

See? Noone could ever forget someone using that.

[Jesse Drake]

Yeah, sorry, Grim, but Rabbit here is right. I'm specifically instructed to leave your newbie villany be so that newbie good guys can cut their teeth on you.

I fight with Grim all the time... Does that mean I'm just a newbie hero!

[Thanatos 51-50]

I fight with Grim all the time... Does that mean I'm just a newbie hero!

Huh? Wait a second...
/checks his PDA again

Well, you're not contracted with Heroes, Vigilantes and Murderers, Inc, so...

[Silverraptor]

Meanwhile, I'm a nobody. Correct?

[Jesse Drake]

Huh? Wait a second...
/checks his PDA again

Well, you're not contracted with Heroes, Vigilantes and Murderers, Inc, so...

Nah, I'm too super for any friggin PDA to tell my status. After all, ahem, 'The Power of a Dragon in the Body of a Man', I am the magnificent Jesse Drake!...

So where do I go to sign up for one of those organizations? Is there a secret moon base or something?

[Jacklu]

(Part 1, Part 2)

The Mysterious History of Doctor Koorli
(With thanks to Christopher Marlowe)

Witness this interlude, by Koorli herself
Written out, of spiritual journeys below:
Of her travels through fire to Tarterian depths;
Meetings with devils, and rivalries spawned.

Interlude Part the First
(With thanks to Mike Carey, etc.)

Spoiler

Show

I write this account for the benefit of future generations, that they may know of my great experience, as doubtless I shall be too busy to recount the tale myself. I do believe parts of it will not be fully understood by anyone who has not experienced themselves a similar occurrence, but they shall be here described to the best of my eloquence.
I could not sleep this night, yet lay that I might be as rested as I could be, exercising nought but my mind, which flitted hither and thither on matters of great import, among them my anticipations of my coming diabolical visitation. The loathsome beast Draken appeared first in my mind, and transported me such that it might seem still my own imaginings; but I perceived this to be a true change.
And here begins confusion; for I had a multiplicity of sensation at this point. I recall it now as many separate occurrences, too many to fit in the time they took, for I know they all assailed my senses concurrently. I know this, yet my mind is not now equipped to recall it truly.
Most numerous were the things I saw. Prominent among them I recall that I stood in a dense forest – I fell, as one falls asleep, to find myself on the dusty plain beside Charon’s ferry; and that I was transported out of the world to the dark where all the luminescent orbs may be seen, and flew down the road drawn by sin and death until I arrived at the great gate; that I was taken up above the world through a starry ocean of singing silver firmament, beyond which were wondrous dominions, among them a dark and fiery world of caverns, on which I alighted; and that I descended through to the foundations of the world, through the grinding entropic maelstrom of the elemental chaos which must surely be the engine of the universe, to a yawning chasm of size like to the world- no, rather the world was barely of size like to this chasm.
All these at once, and more. Perhaps the way to hell is all of these, or none. As yet this remains beyond my meagre knowledge, but I shall learn of it. This I so determine.
While I experienced all these journeys, yet at the same time I was transported instantly, and stood by a certain door of hell, and yet though this was quicker, the others took not more time. I followed my escort as he boarded the ferry, opened the gate and led the way down a road of iced over corpses, their faces fixed in grins, and cheap suits showing their lack of quality in the throes of their deaths.
I stood on the first of nine vast stairs, extending down to the lowest pit imaginable; and I stood at the edge of great abyss in the dark; and I stood within the walls and gates at the border of an endless plain, the fashioned dominion of a high power whose obsession is freedom. As far as angels’ ken a dungeon horrible, on all sides round as one great furnace flamed, yet from those flames no light, but rather darkness visible served only to discover the sights.
I had no grand tour of this tenebrous realm in any of its many aspects. Images flashed before my eyes, all like to what I have already described. Then my companion transported me to a place known as Effrul. A place fashioned in likeness of an English county, for, so he informed me, such was the will of the High Lord. The devils there spent much of their time in intrigue and indulgence, guising themselves as aristocrats in stately homes. Truly there was much there to delight both body and mind.
At that particular moment, a ball was in progress. The butler announced my companion and I as we entered.
“Hell-Prince Draken, and mortal guest.”
This caused quite a stir. My companion was of course one of the highest nobility of that fell kingdom, whatever its aspect, and for a mortal to be present at such a gathering as this was, I was soon informed, previously unheard of. My companion left me for a time as he wished to speak with the High Lord. I will refrain from providing a full account of my conversations with the fiends there present, but for one of particular note:
“So... a real living human woman at the High Lord’s ball... this beggars belief, strains credulity; is truly astounding. And brought here by Draken, no less.” This slender and apparently mutilated figure continually circled me in a highly characterised stalking gait all the while he was talking, and leered. “And for what purpose, I wonder? I suppose it’s doubtful you actually know. Merely mortal mind, after all...”
“Now, now, dear Mangosta, we don’t wish to frighten our guest. She seems well enough to my eyes.”
“My sister, I cannot recall the last time a visitor did not seem well to your eyes.”
“Such is the way of the immortal, is it not? The longer one exists, the more one learns to appreciate all manner of variety. And after so many millennia, to see something new is truly enrapturing. And you, dear lady,” She turned back to me, “Are most definitely something... new.” With a look of intoxication she took my hand and raised it to her lips. “I am Brandi, daughter of the High Lord. The mysterious and highly dangerous man you see before you is my brother, who goes by the title of Night Surgeon, though he had another name, some time ago. And Mangosta you’ve met, though I doubt he was so polite as to introduce himself prior to insulting you. He’s delightfully abrasive in more ways than one.”
“Excuse me, my Lord, my Lady.”
“Yes, Thanatos, what is it?” All the while the Lady Brandi spoke her eyes had remained fixed intensely on mine.
“Forgive me Lady Brandi, High Lord Destro has sent me to bring Dr. Koorli to his presence.”
“While all these nobles stand idle awaiting his pleasure, the High Lord wishes to see a mortal? Pfah!”
“Oh, don’t worry Mango darling. I’m sure I can keep you entertained until Dr. Koorli has had her audience.” She turned again to me. “But don’t be too long, if you please. I’ve a great desire to be more closely acquainted with you, while you’re here.” With a wink and a sultry smile she turned and led Mangosta across into the dance. The Night Surgeon had already left without my noticing.
“This way, if you please, Lady.”
The butler, Thanatos, led me through to a large chamber just off the ballroom. Draken hovered an inch off the floor beside a throne. On the throne sat what appeared to be a human skeleton in regal robes, whose eyes glowed green, and at his hand on the other side of the throne was what appeared to be some sort of demonic panther. Its red eyes fixed on me, displaying something more than animal intelligence.
“Welcome, Koorli. I am Destro Yersul, High Lord of Effrul. The Abomination informs me your visit is the product of an investment of power on the part of Lord Helgraf. I congratulate you – it is rare that a mortal has such fortitude, even rarer that they come down here.”
“My thanks, High Lord.”
“I must ask – being privileged as you are with great knowledge of your own world – how accurate is our little imitation of your nobility?”
“I am uncertain as to whether your realm is accurate to the present period, but it is accurate to some period. That is, in appearance, and ignoring some of your guests’ more visibly demonic countenances. Beyond what I see, I am uncertain. More is in the action than in the appearance, and I have yet much more to see, I think. May I question you, my Lord, about this imitative domain you rule?”
“By all means.”
“For what purpose do you do this?"
“Why, to amuse ourselves. Though the flow of time may be different here than in the mortal realm, we live for eternity, and it is long and tedious if one does not insert a certain amount of variety, to while away the centuries.”
“I see. I take it my timing was fortuitous, to arrive on the night of this ball?”
“Actually, no. In fact, the ball is perpetual – or at least it will continue until we tire of this masquerade and intrigue. The guests come and go, periodically I retire here and speak with whichever of the lesser nobles wish to ask something of me – usually all of them – the ball as a whole continues.”
“And such are the delights of Effrul?”
“I understand we have all manner of delights here, to suit all tastes. I confine myself to the ball, the politics, and the library; but I believe my children between them have sampled every variety of experience they could dream.”
“Do demons dream, then?”
“Nay, not truly, for we do not truly sleep.”
“If I may ask, my lord, what is the reason for your own appearance?”
“These bones I wear? The guise of a lich, undoubtedly something within the compass of your knowledge, but it is seeming only. We demons have no soul separate to our bodies and cannot become undead as mortals can.”
“How long may I stay here?”
“As long as you wish, and you are free to ask after anything you may find here. If you come to see the delights of this nether plane, my children are, I think, the best people to show them to you.”
“Your daughter already expressed a wish to know me better.”
“Naturally she would. If you have no other questions, I suggest you return to the ball and seek her out. Thanatos, I’ll see Mangosta next.”
I returned to the ball, and took the place of Mangosta in dancing with Lady Brandi. She was a rather charming companion, and seemed to exude an almost palpable aura of concentrated pleasure and intoxication – clearly the ideal she principally devoted herself to, such auras of various feelings being a trait of these devils. We conversed on this, and she revealed to me that her aura was one of the few things which could not be easily disguised.
“All aspects of my physical nature, as you see and feel are...optional. Observe.”
As she spoke this last word, she increased in height, her hair switched through a series of colours, and she appeared in various different states of undress before returning to the form she had when she first greeted me. With each change came merely a slight flicker, seen and also felt as something mysterious flashing through the surrounding reality at the speed of thought.
“And finally, say goodbye to Brandi-”
“-And hello to Dirk.”
With one last flicker, her form shifted to that of a man, appropriately attired in a style similar to that of his female form, but altered to fit the gender-change and an appearance perhaps more fitting a man of action.
“So tell me, darling Doctor: how would you like me?”
“Seducing the guest already? Do you think of nothing else, sibling of mine?”
“It’s the pleasure I live for, brother, just as you live for the adrenaline rush of combat.”
“Are all your lives consumed with naught but the satisfaction of your principal pleasures?”
“Of all our pleasures, dear Koorli, but yes. What else can there be here? We have no obligations and no restrictions – we are above such things. And so what is to be done but to obtain whatsoever we desire?”
“I see why Draken brought me to this place in particular. And what of you, Sir Mangosta? While you skulk around your friend, have you aught to say to me of your joys?”
“I have no joy. The High Lord rejects my proposal, he does not deign to offer reasons, he belittles me. And it seems I am less in favour than this woefully limited human wretch, who seems to take her delight in foolishness and aspirations beyond her miniscule wit and will. Continue wowing your mortal plaything with these parlour tricks, I’ve no stomach for such trivialities. Night Surgeon, I’ll likely see you tomorrow.”
As he stormed off, a disappointed Brandi followed in his wake, offering entreaties that he might stay, clearly to no avail. I took the opportunity to question the Night Surgeon.
“Tell me sir, do the powers of magic hold the same sway in this realm is on the mortal plane?”
“Indeed so, for the most part. The majority of daemonic nobility are accomplished mages of some degree. Why have you some knowledge of magic?”
“But of course. It was by magic I first gained my acquaintance with your people.”
“Ah, of course. But naturally, such magicks as would summon and bind us are among those that do not retain their power here, though few can truly master them in any case. I believe my father has in his library a book detailing the differences in magical effect between planes of existence.”
“Now, we don’t wish to bore our guest, brother!” Brandi’s light-hearted tone belied her apparent frustration. “Another dance, perhaps? Or perhaps we could... move things along? Upstairs?” Seeing Mangosta glaring back at us from the doorway as Brandi draped herself over me, knowing I was entering some form of rivalry with a deadly enemy, and delighted by the intellectual stimulation of it, I responded by taking Brandi’s hand and leading her to the stairs, from whence she took me up with exuberant glee to her chambers.
I learned many things in the ensuing hours, which showed me clearly the value of immortal experience and supernatural aptitude, but also that the strength of a human soul is not to be underestimated in any context.
I left Dirk resting and turned my mind to more wholly cerebral pleasures.
“Excuse me? Thanatos, was it? Would you kindly direct me to the library?”
“Certainly. I shall take you there immediately.”
“Tell me – are there no other servants here? You are the only one I have seen, but surely in such a house of such ever-active masters it must be impossible for one alone to handle all the demands of the household?”
“I manage, Lady. There are occasional dissatisfactions – Lady Brandi/Lord Dirk’s requests can be rather demanding and lengthy, but my talents run the way of usefulness in that regard. And indeed there are a few other servants, usually unseen. I am simply the chief among them."
As he named Brandi/Dirk, through some demonic ability he contrived to say both "Lady Brandi" and "Lord Dirk" simultaneously, much as the landscape of hell held several forms at once.
"This is the library, Lady. Anything in particular you seek?”
“Books regarding this realm itself, and regarding magic.”
“Over there and over there. The library catalogue may be found here, or you may call upon me if you have further questions. Excuse me, I’m required back in the ballroom.”
As I sat perusing the books of High Lord Destro’s library, the creature he had had with him in his throne room padded up to me and leapt onto the table to examine the book I was reading.
“You... are more than the pet you appear to be.”
It stared at me again with those eyes that belied the mind greater than would be thought to fit the body. The look it gave me seemed to be appraising.
“Indeed. I am in fact High Lord Yersul’s chief adviser. I adopt this animal shape merely because I prefer to be underestimated. As, I think, do you.”
I sighed wearily. “I have ever been underestimated. But I have ever used whatsoever resources I had to my advantage. Sir, you have me at a disadvantage – I would be obliged if you would tell me your name.”
“Jacklu. I trust you acknowledge the honour in this, for few know my name, and less hear it from my own lips.”
“I realise. And I value your respect.”
“You are a deep one, Doctor Koorli. I can see why Helgraf chose you. You have greatly angered Mangosta, I think, though he needs little cause for rage. I think you know this, and yet you courted this animosity, not out of impetuous emotion, but out of rapidly but carefully considered... what? Ambition? Or simply curiosity?”
“My motives and purposes are ever my own, so long as my will is free. I feel I am equal to what is before me.”
“Indeed, I believe you are. But I will vouchsafe you this ’ere I go: while you are here, you are spirit only – your body remains mortal, and cannot pass the gates of this place. While you remain in Hell, Koorli, you may suffer no bodily harm, but what does befall you will cause damage directly to the soul. Remember that, lest you become impetuous.”
I took this information stoically. I am certain I betrayed nothing, and if the creature Jacklu gleaned any information from my reaction, he gave no indication of it. As he silently reached the door he turned back and added, “Have a care also that should your plans set you against Effrul as a whole, I will show no mercy. Good day, Doctor.”

And so it gets even longer and more complicated, and the references just pile up...

^_^ Yay! I am the crafty adviser! I really hope there is some backstabbing in store somewhere down the line. Or else I will be failing my duties as a trusted chief adviser. Also, Thufir, you put all my writing to shame. Very good work.

[Fan]

(Part 1, Part 2)

The Mysterious History of Doctor Koorli
(With thanks to Christopher Marlowe)

Witness this interlude, by Koorli herself
Written out, of spiritual journeys below:
Of her travels through fire to Tarterian depths;
Meetings with devils, and rivalries spawned.

Interlude Part the First
(With thanks to Mike Carey, etc.)

Spoiler

Show

I write this account for the benefit of future generations, that they may know of my great experience, as doubtless I shall be too busy to recount the tale myself. I do believe parts of it will not be fully understood by anyone who has not experienced themselves a similar occurrence, but they shall be here described to the best of my eloquence.
I could not sleep this night, yet lay that I might be as rested as I could be, exercising nought but my mind, which flitted hither and thither on matters of great import, among them my anticipations of my coming diabolical visitation. The loathsome beast Draken appeared first in my mind, and transported me such that it might seem still my own imaginings; but I perceived this to be a true change.
And here begins confusion; for I had a multiplicity of sensation at this point. I recall it now as many separate occurrences, too many to fit in the time they took, for I know they all assailed my senses concurrently. I know this, yet my mind is not now equipped to recall it truly.
Most numerous were the things I saw. Prominent among them I recall that I stood in a dense forest – I fell, as one falls asleep, to find myself on the dusty plain beside Charon’s ferry; and that I was transported out of the world to the dark where all the luminescent orbs may be seen, and flew down the road drawn by sin and death until I arrived at the great gate; that I was taken up above the world through a starry ocean of singing silver firmament, beyond which were wondrous dominions, among them a dark and fiery world of caverns, on which I alighted; and that I descended through to the foundations of the world, through the grinding entropic maelstrom of the elemental chaos which must surely be the engine of the universe, to a yawning chasm of size like to the world- no, rather the world was barely of size like to this chasm.
All these at once, and more. Perhaps the way to hell is all of these, or none. As yet this remains beyond my meagre knowledge, but I shall learn of it. This I so determine.
While I experienced all these journeys, yet at the same time I was transported instantly, and stood by a certain door of hell, and yet though this was quicker, the others took not more time. I followed my escort as he boarded the ferry, opened the gate and led the way down a road of iced over corpses, their faces fixed in grins, and cheap suits showing their lack of quality in the throes of their deaths.
I stood on the first of nine vast stairs, extending down to the lowest pit imaginable; and I stood at the edge of great abyss in the dark; and I stood within the walls and gates at the border of an endless plain, the fashioned dominion of a high power whose obsession is freedom. As far as angels’ ken a dungeon horrible, on all sides round as one great furnace flamed, yet from those flames no light, but rather darkness visible served only to discover the sights.
I had no grand tour of this tenebrous realm in any of its many aspects. Images flashed before my eyes, all like to what I have already described. Then my companion transported me to a place known as Effrul. A place fashioned in likeness of an English county, for, so he informed me, such was the will of the High Lord. The devils there spent much of their time in intrigue and indulgence, guising themselves as aristocrats in stately homes. Truly there was much there to delight both body and mind.
At that particular moment, a ball was in progress. The butler announced my companion and I as we entered.
“Hell-Prince Draken, and mortal guest.”
This caused quite a stir. My companion was of course one of the highest nobility of that fell kingdom, whatever its aspect, and for a mortal to be present at such a gathering as this was, I was soon informed, previously unheard of. My companion left me for a time as he wished to speak with the High Lord. I will refrain from providing a full account of my conversations with the fiends there present, but for one of particular note:
“So... a real living human woman at the High Lord’s ball... this beggars belief, strains credulity; is truly astounding. And brought here by Draken, no less.” This slender and apparently mutilated figure continually circled me in a highly characterised stalking gait all the while he was talking, and leered. “And for what purpose, I wonder? I suppose it’s doubtful you actually know. Merely mortal mind, after all...”
“Now, now, dear Mangosta, we don’t wish to frighten our guest. She seems well enough to my eyes.”
“My sister, I cannot recall the last time a visitor did not seem well to your eyes.”
“Such is the way of the immortal, is it not? The longer one exists, the more one learns to appreciate all manner of variety. And after so many millennia, to see something new is truly enrapturing. And you, dear lady,” She turned back to me, “Are most definitely something... new.” With a look of intoxication she took my hand and raised it to her lips. “I am Brandi, daughter of the High Lord. The mysterious and highly dangerous man you see before you is my brother, who goes by the title of Night Surgeon, though he had another name, some time ago. And Mangosta you’ve met, though I doubt he was so polite as to introduce himself prior to insulting you. He’s delightfully abrasive in more ways than one.”
“Excuse me, my Lord, my Lady.”
“Yes, Thanatos, what is it?” All the while the Lady Brandi spoke her eyes had remained fixed intensely on mine.
“Forgive me Lady Brandi, High Lord Destro has sent me to bring Dr. Koorli to his presence.”
“While all these nobles stand idle awaiting his pleasure, the High Lord wishes to see a mortal? Pfah!”
“Oh, don’t worry Mango darling. I’m sure I can keep you entertained until Dr. Koorli has had her audience.” She turned again to me. “But don’t be too long, if you please. I’ve a great desire to be more closely acquainted with you, while you’re here.” With a wink and a sultry smile she turned and led Mangosta across into the dance. The Night Surgeon had already left without my noticing.
“This way, if you please, Lady.”
The butler, Thanatos, led me through to a large chamber just off the ballroom. Draken hovered an inch off the floor beside a throne. On the throne sat what appeared to be a human skeleton in regal robes, whose eyes glowed green, and at his hand on the other side of the throne was what appeared to be some sort of demonic panther. Its red eyes fixed on me, displaying something more than animal intelligence.
“Welcome, Koorli. I am Destro Yersul, High Lord of Effrul. The Abomination informs me your visit is the product of an investment of power on the part of Lord Helgraf. I congratulate you – it is rare that a mortal has such fortitude, even rarer that they come down here.”
“My thanks, High Lord.”
“I must ask – being privileged as you are with great knowledge of your own world – how accurate is our little imitation of your nobility?”
“I am uncertain as to whether your realm is accurate to the present period, but it is accurate to some period. That is, in appearance, and ignoring some of your guests’ more visibly demonic countenances. Beyond what I see, I am uncertain. More is in the action than in the appearance, and I have yet much more to see, I think. May I question you, my Lord, about this imitative domain you rule?”
“By all means.”
“For what purpose do you do this?"
“Why, to amuse ourselves. Though the flow of time may be different here than in the mortal realm, we live for eternity, and it is long and tedious if one does not insert a certain amount of variety, to while away the centuries.”
“I see. I take it my timing was fortuitous, to arrive on the night of this ball?”
“Actually, no. In fact, the ball is perpetual – or at least it will continue until we tire of this masquerade and intrigue. The guests come and go, periodically I retire here and speak with whichever of the lesser nobles wish to ask something of me – usually all of them – the ball as a whole continues.”
“And such are the delights of Effrul?”
“I understand we have all manner of delights here, to suit all tastes. I confine myself to the ball, the politics, and the library; but I believe my children between them have sampled every variety of experience they could dream.”
“Do demons dream, then?”
“Nay, not truly, for we do not truly sleep.”
“If I may ask, my lord, what is the reason for your own appearance?”
“These bones I wear? The guise of a lich, undoubtedly something within the compass of your knowledge, but it is seeming only. We demons have no soul separate to our bodies and cannot become undead as mortals can.”
“How long may I stay here?”
“As long as you wish, and you are free to ask after anything you may find here. If you come to see the delights of this nether plane, my children are, I think, the best people to show them to you.”
“Your daughter already expressed a wish to know me better.”
“Naturally she would. If you have no other questions, I suggest you return to the ball and seek her out. Thanatos, I’ll see Mangosta next.”
I returned to the ball, and took the place of Mangosta in dancing with Lady Brandi. She was a rather charming companion, and seemed to exude an almost palpable aura of concentrated pleasure and intoxication – clearly the ideal she principally devoted herself to, such auras of various feelings being a trait of these devils. We conversed on this, and she revealed to me that her aura was one of the few things which could not be easily disguised.
“All aspects of my physical nature, as you see and feel are...optional. Observe.”
As she spoke this last word, she increased in height, her hair switched through a series of colours, and she appeared in various different states of undress before returning to the form she had when she first greeted me. With each change came merely a slight flicker, seen and also felt as something mysterious flashing through the surrounding reality at the speed of thought.
“And finally, say goodbye to Brandi-”
“-And hello to Dirk.”
With one last flicker, her form shifted to that of a man, appropriately attired in a style similar to that of his female form, but altered to fit the gender-change and an appearance perhaps more fitting a man of action.
“So tell me, darling Doctor: how would you like me?”
“Seducing the guest already? Do you think of nothing else, sibling of mine?”
“It’s the pleasure I live for, brother, just as you live for the adrenaline rush of combat.”
“Are all your lives consumed with naught but the satisfaction of your principal pleasures?”
“Of all our pleasures, dear Koorli, but yes. What else can there be here? We have no obligations and no restrictions – we are above such things. And so what is to be done but to obtain whatsoever we desire?”
“I see why Draken brought me to this place in particular. And what of you, Sir Mangosta? While you skulk around your friend, have you aught to say to me of your joys?”
“I have no joy. The High Lord rejects my proposal, he does not deign to offer reasons, he belittles me. And it seems I am less in favour than this woefully limited human wretch, who seems to take her delight in foolishness and aspirations beyond her miniscule wit and will. Continue wowing your mortal plaything with these parlour tricks, I’ve no stomach for such trivialities. Night Surgeon, I’ll likely see you tomorrow.”
As he stormed off, a disappointed Brandi followed in his wake, offering entreaties that he might stay, clearly to no avail. I took the opportunity to question the Night Surgeon.
“Tell me sir, do the powers of magic hold the same sway in this realm is on the mortal plane?”
“Indeed so, for the most part. The majority of daemonic nobility are accomplished mages of some degree. Why have you some knowledge of magic?”
“But of course. It was by magic I first gained my acquaintance with your people.”
“Ah, of course. But naturally, such magicks as would summon and bind us are among those that do not retain their power here, though few can truly master them in any case. I believe my father has in his library a book detailing the differences in magical effect between planes of existence.”
“Now, we don’t wish to bore our guest, brother!” Brandi’s light-hearted tone belied her apparent frustration. “Another dance, perhaps? Or perhaps we could... move things along? Upstairs?” Seeing Mangosta glaring back at us from the doorway as Brandi draped herself over me, knowing I was entering some form of rivalry with a deadly enemy, and delighted by the intellectual stimulation of it, I responded by taking Brandi’s hand and leading her to the stairs, from whence she took me up with exuberant glee to her chambers.
I learned many things in the ensuing hours, which showed me clearly the value of immortal experience and supernatural aptitude, but also that the strength of a human soul is not to be underestimated in any context.
I left Dirk resting and turned my mind to more wholly cerebral pleasures.
“Excuse me? Thanatos, was it? Would you kindly direct me to the library?”
“Certainly. I shall take you there immediately.”
“Tell me – are there no other servants here? You are the only one I have seen, but surely in such a house of such ever-active masters it must be impossible for one alone to handle all the demands of the household?”
“I manage, Lady. There are occasional dissatisfactions – Lady Brandi/Lord Dirk’s requests can be rather demanding and lengthy, but my talents run the way of usefulness in that regard. And indeed there are a few other servants, usually unseen. I am simply the chief among them."
As he named Brandi/Dirk, through some demonic ability he contrived to say both "Lady Brandi" and "Lord Dirk" simultaneously, much as the landscape of hell held several forms at once.
"This is the library, Lady. Anything in particular you seek?”
“Books regarding this realm itself, and regarding magic.”
“Over there and over there. The library catalogue may be found here, or you may call upon me if you have further questions. Excuse me, I’m required back in the ballroom.”
As I sat perusing the books of High Lord Destro’s library, the creature he had had with him in his throne room padded up to me and leapt onto the table to examine the book I was reading.
“You... are more than the pet you appear to be.”
It stared at me again with those eyes that belied the mind greater than would be thought to fit the body. The look it gave me seemed to be appraising.
“Indeed. I am in fact High Lord Yersul’s chief adviser. I adopt this animal shape merely because I prefer to be underestimated. As, I think, do you.”
I sighed wearily. “I have ever been underestimated. But I have ever used whatsoever resources I had to my advantage. Sir, you have me at a disadvantage – I would be obliged if you would tell me your name.”
“Jacklu. I trust you acknowledge the honour in this, for few know my name, and less hear it from my own lips.”
“I realise. And I value your respect.”
“You are a deep one, Doctor Koorli. I can see why Helgraf chose you. You have greatly angered Mangosta, I think, though he needs little cause for rage. I think you know this, and yet you courted this animosity, not out of impetuous emotion, but out of rapidly but carefully considered... what? Ambition? Or simply curiosity?”
“My motives and purposes are ever my own, so long as my will is free. I feel I am equal to what is before me.”
“Indeed, I believe you are. But I will vouchsafe you this ’ere I go: while you are here, you are spirit only – your body remains mortal, and cannot pass the gates of this place. While you remain in Hell, Koorli, you may suffer no bodily harm, but what does befall you will cause damage directly to the soul. Remember that, lest you become impetuous.”
I took this information stoically. I am certain I betrayed nothing, and if the creature Jacklu gleaned any information from my reaction, he gave no indication of it. As he silently reached the door he turned back and added, “Have a care also that should your plans set you against Effrul as a whole, I will show no mercy. Good day, Doctor.”

And so it gets even longer and more complicated, and the references just pile up...

Huzzah, it does seem that I'm as snarky as ever.

Although I find my own aspect as a devil.. Interesting... Did you deign me the devil of battle for any particular reason, or was my part merely a role filled in your master piece?

[Mordokai]

I've dealt with green villains before. Ones much more intimidating than you.

Don't make me toss you over my lap and discipline you.

I'm afraid he might secretly want that. But then, not everybody is as weird as me, so I just might be wrong

[Thanatos 51-50]

I was actually going to write a "Heroes, Vigilantes and Murderers, Inc." Ship, but couldn't find a plot in my head.

[Jesse Drake]

Incompetent batch of rookie heroes, complete with super strong but naive hero?

Anyways, so would that be three separate organizations or one mega organization that employs heroes and villains alike, sets them to certain cities, and makes sure no one is out matched? Kinda like a reality show, ya know. "Tonight, we stick twelve serial killers on the streets, and two lucky heroes are gonna have to stop them. But whats this?" clip to a villainous duo blowing up a bridge. "Tune in next week for ________". Hm... Sounds like a good idea actually.

[Grim ranger]

I've dealt with green villains before. Ones much more intimidating than you.

Don't make me toss you over my lap and discipline you.

*figures he has nothing to lose anyway and starts shooting up the place at random* Whooo!!!

I'm afraid he might secretly want that. But then, not everybody is as weird as me, so I just might be wrong

No, that's just product of your twisted imagination, Mordy. Sometimes I think you have spent too much time in here...

[Silverraptor]

Incompetent batch of rookie heroes, complete with super strong but naive hero?

Anyways, so would that be three separate organizations or one mega organization that employs heroes and villains alike, sets them to certain cities, and makes sure no one is out matched? Kinda like a reality show, ya know. "Tonight, we stick twelve serial killers on the streets, and two lucky heroes are gonna have to stop them. But whats this?" clip to a villainous duo blowing up a bridge. "Tune in next week for ________". Hm... Sounds like a good idea actually.

If you somehow come up with a story, feel free to use me in any way you see fit. I'm just trying to get rechognized and this seems like a good start.

[Jesse Drake]

That sounds like an idea. A rookie super hero signs up for what he believes to be the biggest hero recruitment agency, which is actually a front for a sick gameshow. Kinda like the MojoWorld, only more real.

[Silverraptor]

That sounds like an idea. A rookie super hero signs up for what he believes to be the biggest hero recruitment agency, which is actually a front for a sick gameshow. Kinda like the MojoWorld, only more real.

Oh, boy. Should I come up with my own power? I have an idea for a unique one, you know.

[Jesse Drake]

Lay it on me. Also, if anyone else would like to be super sized, I'm open to ideas.

[Dallas-Dakota]

*figures he has nothing to lose anyway and starts shooting up the place at random* Whooo!!!

*gb's Fred*
*sends them both into a small room*
*casts a love spell*

[Grim ranger]

*gb's Fred*
*sends them both into a small room*
*casts a love spell*

You are cruel, cruel person

Also, Mind Blank in effect, so good luck trying to get that spell to work

@V: Done that already. The operative was a wuss who gave up when his ass was whooped for first time, and he did not even know what his actions would cause! And evil for itself has worked for me...thus far

[mangosta71]

@Thufir - I can't begin to express how much I loved the story. I'm sigging "delightfully abrasive in more ways than one".

Grim, you need some sort of motivation. Being evil just for evil's sake never lasts long. You might look into refining your methods, too. I'm assigning you homework - watch Serenity, paying special attention to the Operative, and Arlington Road.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Also, Mind Blank in effect, so good luck trying to get that spell to work

Hey, if it worked on GB'd Fred, then that's good enough for me.

[Helgraf]

You are cruel, cruel person

Also, Mind Blank in effect, so good luck trying to get that spell to work

@V: Done that already. The operative was a wuss who gave up when his ass was whooped for first time, and he did not even know what his actions would cause! And evil for itself has worked for me...thus far

You know, normally I wouldn't interfere with Rabbit's fun. But I spent a considerable sum here, and your shooting it up all randomly is going to be a bother to repair properly - and don't talk to me about Mending or Make Whole spells - it's never the same, like trying to repair a Ming vase.

Now kindly put those undignified weapons away.

[Dallas-Dakota]

No Helgraf comments while I shipped him?

/greedy and attention whore.

[Grim ranger]

Hey, if it worked on GB'd Fred, then that's good enough for me.

Bite me

I still know how to run! You haven't seen the last of me! *flees*

You know, normally I wouldn't interfere with Rabbit's fun. But I spent a considerable sum here, and your shooting it up all randomly is going to be a bother to repair properly - and don't talk to me about Mending or Make Whole spells - it's never the same, like trying to repair a Ming vase.

Now kindly put those undignified weapons away.

My most sincere and heartfelt apologies. I can stop shooting when Dallas and co. stop making remarks woobifying me. That deal would satisfy all present, I believe? *loads rocket launcher for maxium collecteral damage just in case of disagreement*

@V: Maybe not, but at least I can finally do what I have wanted to do for past hour *shoots DD right to the face with custard missile*

[Helgraf]

Bite me

I still know how to run! You haven't seen the last of me! *flees*



My most sincere and heartfelt apologies. I can stop shooting when Dallas and co. stop making remarks woobifying me. That deal would satisfy all present, I believe? *loads rocket launcher for maxium collecteral damage just in case of disagreement*

Your ammuntion has just been replaced with custard rounds. These amateur aggression tactics do nothing to help your case vis a vis your woobification.

[Helgraf]

No Helgraf comments while I shipped him?

/greedy and attention whore.

It was a nice ship. It started slow, built up some tension, and still ended on a generally happy note. You may notice what I've said is basically in agreement with the other commentors; I haven't really added anything new.

Also, yes, as a small point of order, I typically call her Coney when personalizing, as she pointed out. A tiny quibble, to be sure, but here for completeness.

[Destro_Yersul]

Oh my. That's rather good, Thufir, and I approve of my role. I especially approve of my having a large library. Very entertaining read you have there.

[Thufir]

Huzzah, it does seem that I'm as snarky as ever.

Although I find my own aspect as a devil.. Interesting... Did you deign me the devil of battle for any particular reason, or was my part merely a role filled in your master piece?

The latter, since I lifted the setting of Effrul and its inhabitants out of the Lucifer comics. I just picked someone I thought would fit a character whose main interest is fighting arena battles.
Of course conversely the character changes to some extent to fit the person I've cast in that role.

@Draken: Sorry. You'll get more to say and do in the rest. I think. Still working out what's going to happen myself.

[Grim ranger]

Your ammuntion has just been replaced with custard rounds. These amateur aggression tactics do nothing to help your case vis a vis your woobification.

Fine, I will go to sit in the dark corner then. None of you are any fun, and I am tired of Mordokai slapping or stabbing me anyways. *goes to dark corner*

[Reinholdt]

@ Thufir - I was just going to inquire about this series. You do such a good job with its portrayal. I am fond of the whole "saying both "Lady Brandi" and "Lord Dirk" simultaneously" and thought that was particularly clever. I am extremely glad it hasn't been forgotten.
Extremely.
>>
<<
Faust rocks!

Fine, I will go to sit in the dark corner then. None of you are any fun, and I am tired of Mordokai slapping or stabbing me anyways. *goes to dark corner*

Get out of my corner!
*is hiding*