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Thread: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
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2010-06-19, 08:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
The bogun. An ugly tiny (iirc) construct that has a 1/20th chance to blow off its own creator in favor of doing whatever it wants instead, but still costs ritual time and XP in order to create. It does have an average strength poison though.
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2010-06-20, 04:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Blacksburg, VA
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
So I grabbed my Quarterstaff (doesn't cost any gold, you see, which is not only hard to get in this day and age but something that as a Commoner I'd have very little of anyways) and went on my adventure.
However, it seemed that the toads had intelligence on me! Before I even made it to the woods, I was confronted with this:
Spoiler
They'd massed up in preparation for a full-scale retaliation!
A battle of epic proportions ensued. Their lack of offensive options led them to attempt to bull-rush me into traffic. However, between my +1 Strength modifier and their -21 to bull-rushes, they never succeeded.
I attempted both using the quarterstaff as a two-handed weapon and as two weapons. With only +1 to my attack rolls, it was either one attack that needed a 14 or two attacks that needed 18 and 20 - soon I was only using two-handed fighting, smashing a toad every eighteen seconds or so.
However, I soon realized that I would be there all day. The toads would wear me out. I fell back to the local tavern and used an untrained Diplomacy check to call in a few more 1st level adventurers with actual class levels, tempting them with the prospect of easy XP:
Spoiler
Between their extra actions and AoE effects, we were able to force the horde of toads to go back from whence they came, their numbers severely depleted. The aftermath:
Spoiler
We looted the toad corpses, but either our search checks sucked or they weren't kidding when they said those of the animal subtype have no treasure.
However, one of the adventurers had ranks in Craft (leatherworking) and several days later presented us with these:
Spoiler
So we didn't leave completely empty-handed from this affiar. Oh, and we're all 3rd level now, eight CR steps above 1/10.Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put tomato in fruit salad. Charisma is convincing someone it's a good idea anyways.
I am a 12/13/13/17/15/17 True Neutral Sorcerer2.
Tainted Bonds, a newly-created Touhou x D&D 3.5 CYOA. Just read these before posting anywhere. Talk about it here.
Awesome remastered ballista avatar by Savannah!
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2010-06-20, 05:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Hm, if I remember correctly the shrieker fungus thingys are used by drow as an alarm system (first drizzt novel). I donīt have my books here so I donīt really know if they exist normally in nature too, but if itīs only used as an alarm system then the power would be to "summon" quite a few very angry drow which is not a bad ability
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2010-06-20, 05:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Location
- Yorkton, SK, Canada
- Gender
Let's Play: Pokemon Leaf Green (Nuzlocke)
Let's Play: LIMBO
Let's Play: Home [Complete]
Let's Play: Cthulhu Saves the World [Complete]
GM of the Yorkton Gamer Guild at:
Pink Ameiko Kaijitsu Avatar by A Rainy Knight
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2010-06-20, 06:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2008
- Location
- Xin-Shalast
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
They occur "naturally," too, sometimes in a symbiotic relationship with more mobile and aggressive fungi which leave the remains of the things that set off the shriekers so that the shriekers will continue to alert them of food sources. At least, they occur that way in one of the premade adventures releashed by WOTC that one of my buddies ran us through once.
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2010-06-20, 06:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Flumph. CR 1 critter that looks like a jellyfish. If you flip it upside down, it can try to make a DC20 escape artist check once per day to flip right side up. Even so, it can't really hurt you or do anything more then smell bad.
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2010-06-20, 06:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
- Location
- England
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Piratebold-Bard by Elder Tsofu | Backer #121 of the Giantitp Kickstarter | My homebrew
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2010-06-20, 07:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Texas. It's too hot here.
- Gender
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2010-06-22, 10:16 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-06-22, 11:29 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Blacksburg, VA
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put tomato in fruit salad. Charisma is convincing someone it's a good idea anyways.
I am a 12/13/13/17/15/17 True Neutral Sorcerer2.
Tainted Bonds, a newly-created Touhou x D&D 3.5 CYOA. Just read these before posting anywhere. Talk about it here.
Awesome remastered ballista avatar by Savannah!
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2010-06-22, 12:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Apparently high priestesses of Lolth get transformed into them after death- as the highest a soul devoted to Lolth can expect to rise.
Which may be the icing on the cake.
From Elaine Cunningham's Windwalker:
You are not dead.
The yochlol's voice sounded in Shakti's mind, feminine and somehow familiar. She recalled vaguely a theology class at Arach Tinilith, the priestess academy, concerning the nature and origins of yochlol. That had been an academic debate, something of little interest to the practical Shakti. Now she wished she had paid closer attention.
"I am in the Abyss," Shakti said carefully, not wishing to openly contradict the handmaiden. "I challenged another priestess and lost. If I am not dead, what am I?"
Here, the yochlol responded. You are here, no more or less. Even in the Abyss, there are many ways of being or not being. Before you stands the glorious form toward which a priestess of power and prestige might aspire!
Beneath the proud words lay a level of irony, and beneath that, despair. Shakti's suspicions hardened into certainty.
"You are not long dead," she ventured. "You still remember your life and your name."
In time, all this will fade, the yochlol promised. The priestess will be forgotten. Only Lolth will remain.Marut-2 Avatar by Serpentine
New Marut Avatar by Linkele
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2010-06-22, 12:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- in the playground.
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Hmm, I once made a character with a 2 AC, or 0 when he raged. Sounds pretty pitiful, considering he was like 6th level. His name was the Weavle. Props to anyone who can guess the reference or how I did it.
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2010-06-22, 12:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Mansfield, OH
- Gender
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2010-06-22, 12:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2010
- Location
- Usaki City, Syona
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Thanks!
Was he named after a Weavile?
Also, really really low dexterity and no armour?Recent Homebrew: The Socialite | The Crystalline: Memory Altering Construct Race | Sanguine Hand, a ToB Discipline of blood and cruelty
Homebrew Signature | NEW Homebrew Collection
Thanks to all my avatar artists, especially to Paisley for my avatar of Vivian, cowardly cryophoenix.
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2010-06-22, 12:51 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2005
- Location
- Newcastle, Australia
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Ive always found the Lemure Devil to be pretty pathetic
Thankyou to NEOPhyte for the Techpriest Engiseer
Spoiler
Current PC's
Ravia Del'Karro (Magos Biologis Errant)
Katarina (Ordo Malleus Interrogator)
Emberly (Fire Elemental former Chef)
Peril Planet
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2010-06-22, 01:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
- Location
- in the playground.
- Gender
Re: Most Pathetic DnD Monster
Nah, it's a reference to an internet thing.
I believe it was something along the lines of cursed armor, a playable gelatinous template for the negative natural armor, piss-poor dex, and such.
He had a 12 1/2 foot speed and had nothing going for him except hit points up the wazoo.