Relationship Woes and Advice: The Thirteenth Woerier

[Umael]

What would be the cost of the next package?

Actually, we mass-produce them by the bottle to save on costs. The sample packages are so we can addi -introduce them to potential customers.

[Eadin]

next bottle then?

[Coidzor]

You're all correct. Which is why I've been listening to this song on loop since I got home Thanks, everyone.

Whereas I've been listening to this song on loop for far too long.
Please... Please end the suffering....x.x

What would be the cost of the next package?

Your immortal soul. Or a date. If you can solve the riddle though, you get a lifetime supply.

[Eadin]

what riddle?

Also: Om nom nom nom

[Umael]

Since true self-worth is priceless, it would be unfair to put a price tag without taking into consideration our customer's financial ability to pay, especially since the customer might have a bad reaction to Ego! and demand a refund, and since we don't give refunds, that would be bad customer service.

[Eadin]

So...no riddle?
it's free?

[Coidzor]

So...no riddle?
it's free?

Ok, so it was more like a pun than a riddle.

[MountainKing]

Whereas I've been listening to this song on loop for far too long.

Coidzor, I think I love you.

Umael - I may have gotten past my heartbreak stage, but that means I'm in my bitter, distrustful stage where I take nothing at face value and my targeting computers automatically highlight flaws, particularly in logic, while glossing over things like being emotional.

That's right, ladies; MountainKing is a Terminator. Of love.

[Eadin]

Meh,these pills aren't worth my soul...
I date I can manage...

[Coidzor]

Coidzor, I think I love you.

That's right, ladies; MountainKing is a Terminator. Of love.

For the Emprah! *brower fist pound it*



Well then, Eadin, I'm sure we can find you a date, just need to get you a lasso is all.

[Eadin]

I don't need/want a date
Free food on the other hand...

[Coidzor]

I don't need/want a date
Free food on the other hand...

Ah, the ever handy Super-duper self-retracable, auto-scaling, hand-throwing lasso is ever versatile and can even help in the requisitioning of food-like resources!

Just watch as we extort dinner out of passersby, or even catch a WHOLE COW!

[Eadin]

Woop, can I try it out?

[Coidzor]

Woop, can I try it out?

Only 14.95 USD. But call now and you'll get a free 2 week trial period. If you're not satisfied *mumblemumblemumblemumblecthulhumumblemumblemumble * Order now! Operators are standing by.

[Eadin]

I don't have any money...

[Pyrian]

Is this specifically Eadin? Or is it true for all girls?

I would say it applies to Eadin and you.

....HOW DOES THAT WORK?!

Women, when they finally break a man down and get him to tell them the actual truth about how they feel, usually decide to not believe them. (This is in contrast to men, who will often choose to believe a woman even while knowing perfectly well that she's lying. "It's fine." "...Okay.")

I don't need/want a date
Free food on the other hand...

It's a package deal.

[Eadin]

It's a package deal.

*suspicious look*
oh really?

[Umael]

Okay, my time to come into this thread and request... something.

I'm not going to give the details, and I don't think I'm looking for advice, but it's just... I want to hurt someone, but I kept my cool, even though I was in conversation with him for less than five minutes. Probably less than two.

Spoiler

Show

There is someone who means a great deal to me. She has a daughter by way of one of her exes, and he has custody of her. I have met this... person, and while he has not done to me the damage that he has done to her, I find my demeanor is ...cool towards him. Immediately.

I am polite. I keep my calm. I acknowledge that I mostly get her side of the story and I know that she wants to do right by her daughter and keep civil with him and let her daughter grow up knowing her father. If her daughter decides to judge him and finds him unfavored, that will be her daughter's decision, not hers. Out of respect for her, I will do my best to treat him likewise, even give him the benefit of the doubt.

He dropped by my home just now to ask about her, as she was late with a rendevous visit with her daughter. I told him that I did not know where she was, but that I could call her and pass on his message - which I did.

I was polite. I was calm. I was civil.

I was also interupted while peacefully reading Harry Turtledove's The Legion of Videssos.

I have been so busy and/or so stressed that I have little time and/or inclination to read these days. Reading a good book... no, I misspoke... curling up with a good book, all alone, enjoying myself in wonderful peace and contentment... to get shattered by this ...person's presence.

I snarl. I feel it in my gut, that sense of calm, quiet enjoyment, ripped out of me like a fetus-murder. While technically, there was nothing he did that was wrong, I feel like my sense of self and security and contentment has been violated, gasoline drops in the cat's milk.

If this is just an empty rant, thank you all who listened, and if you have any advice on how I might return to my stoic enjoyment, I will thank you as I listen.

[Pyrian]

I don't need/want a date
Free food on the other hand...

It's a package deal.

*suspicious look*
oh really?

I just meant that free food is offered as part of taking you out! I didn't intend the innuendo at all. ...Though, in hindsight, I'm amused by it.

Umael: Laugh it off.

[arguskos]

If this is just an empty rant, thank you all who listened, and if you have any advice on how I might return to my stoic enjoyment, I will thank you as I listen.

Shoot him with a tranquilizer dart.
Use as a foot stool.
Return to reading your book.
???
Profit!

...ok, so, that's not really the best method of dealing with it. Just say to yourself, "I was polite, I gave him a fair shake, he bothers me, I want to go back to reading in peace now" and do so. Even if you're a bit grouchy at the start, once you get back into the flow of things, the anger will fade away. Always works for me, anyways.

[Eadin]

lol, almost every message direct to me in this thread contained innuendo's.
I didn't think this one would be any different

[Coidzor]

^: What? What innuendos have I directed towards you!?

Well, other than making a pun due to the fact that date the fruit and date the event have the same spelling and pronunciation....

Women, when they finally break a man down and get him to tell them the actual truth about how they feel, usually decide to not believe them. (This is in contrast to men, who will often choose to believe a woman even while knowing perfectly well that she's lying. "It's fine." "...Okay.")

Is truth. Women never believe that they're attractive even when confronted with the physical evidence to the contrary. Is quite odd.

*suspicious look*
oh really?

Well, it's sort of a barter system. Your company in exchange for delicious foodmeats.

Unless you're going dutch in which case it just gets confused as to what's going on, possibly some sort of mutual enjoyment of one's company or at least mutual sizing up of the other for the purposes of gauging mate potential.

mmm, foodmeats. Actually, I have some unidentifiable white meat that I"m thawing out and thinking about stirfrying.

I just meant that free food is offered as part of taking you out! I didn't intend the innuendo at all. ...Though, in hindsight, I'm amused by it.

There was an innuendo?

...Until you just made it one retroactively? Or did she make it one retroactively? Can't...quite tell...

Umael: Go for walk with cellphone, wallet, keys, jacket, standard issue riot gear, and book. Cool head via walking and then resume reading as you make your return.

[Eadin]

Well, it's sort of a barter system. Your company in exchange for delicious foodmeats.

I guess it's a fair trade

[Pheehelm]

Men confuse me...

I'll let you in on a secret -- just as all atoms can be described as a combination of protons, electrons, and neutrons, all male behavior is comprised by some quantity of three elements: we're hungry, hairy, and stupid. Thus, if you analyze our behavior in the context of "hungry, hairy, and stupid," you'll unravel our hidden designs.

Women never believe that they're attractive even when confronted with the physical evidence to the contrary. Is quite odd.

Whereas men tend to overrate their appearance. Dave Barry had a great piece on this.

[Eadin]

I'll let you in on a secret -- just as all atoms can be described as a combination of protons, electrons, and neutrons, all male behavior is comprised by some quantity of three elements: we're hungry, hairy, and stupid. Thus, if you analyze our behavior in the context of "hungry, hairy, and stupid," you'll unravel our hidden designs.

....
Yeah
I'm still confused

[MountainKing]

Women, when they finally break a man down and get him to tell them the actual truth about how they feel, usually decide to not believe them. (This is in contrast to men, who will often choose to believe a woman even while knowing perfectly well that she's lying. "It's fine." "...Okay.")

...you mean to say there are still men out there who don't dive for cover, flinch, or otherwise hide inside a cardboard box (it's the safest device in the world!) when a woman says the word "fine"? What the Hell, the internet has been around for over a decade! WAY OVER! How can people not know that the word "fine" really means "The choice is yours..." and then the word "Whatever" really means "You have chosen... poorly."

...because yes, I have heard the Last Knight saying those words in my head when I screw up around women. Indiana Jones was a big part of my childhood.

[Coidzor]

because I'm evil
and a bitch ...

Gonna need to be more specific than that.

I mean, are you evil for dietary reasons? Philosophical? Mathematical purposes?

Whereas men tend to overrate their appearance. Dave Barry had a great piece on this.

bit..a.ga....balhea.....aserahs;g.....

[Eadin]

^I'm born that way?

[Superglucose]

Oh as a funny aside. Ther's a guy passed out on the couch beside me who tried to tell me that the chick I like is younger than 16 but actually she's going to the uni in my home town next year. Son of a bitch.

Funny story about this. The guy woke up and crawled to another couch, and like three times he was whimpering, "I'm sorry... she's 18... I knew she was 18... I'm sorry... she's just so cute..."

It was hilarious.

@Pheehelm, well that's a problem if I'm overstating my appearence

[Eadin]

men....


Also, I know a lot of guys who underestimate their appearance