KuReshtin's Vociferously Ruminating Harbinger of Random Banter - #147

[Rawhide]

D: It does not!

...

<.<; I managed to get 8-3-0 myself. It's pure luck, I swear!

A truly open scrutiny is the only way to be sure. Are you going to release the source code?

[Trobby]

Alas, the source code has been lost in the annals of the net, and the hard drive of my thrice-old computer. D: So I can't, even if I wanted to.

You can try to deconstruct it if you want though.

[Dogmantra]

Trobby, I do not like your business model! TOO MUCH DRM!

Who's with me? Let's boycott the question block game! STICK IT TO THE MAN... KUPPY BOY!

[Rawhide]

Trobby, I do not like your business model! TOO MUCH DRM!

Who's with me? Let's boycott the question block game! STICK IT TO THE MAN... KUPPY BOY!

I know I'll be returning it for a refund.

[Deth Muncher]

I just made myself a bagel with smoked gouda melted upon it. It was delicious. And then I drank some imported Coke, because stupid America doesn't put sugar in Coke, and the only way to get some with it is to go to Costco, and buy some Coke que hecho en Mexico.

Regardless, much tastiness was to be had by all. Which was me.

[Coidzor]

Because horses are without a doubt the most insane, twisted and evil species on the face of the earth.
There is nothing about them that inspires confidence, they weigh two tonnes each and can kick you in the head so hard it shatters like a melon.
They take a perverse delight in scaring new riders - yes, I had a bad experience with a horse - and they are brainless. They'll walk past a hedge for a year, and then one day, out of the blue, it's a hedge!!!111! Iump!! RUn away! It startles for no reason.
I'm of the belief that all horses are secretly omnivores with carnivorous leanings. They're only posing as herbivores to get our defences down, and then they will eat us.
I truly hate horses.

Have you been reading Glen Cook? Because it really seems like you've been reading his Garret P.I. series...

[Thufir]

Because horses are without a doubt the most insane, twisted and evil species on the face of the earth.
There is nothing about them that inspires confidence, they weigh two tonnes each and can kick you in the head so hard it shatters like a melon.
They take a perverse delight in scaring new riders - yes, I had a bad experience with a horse - and they are brainless. They'll walk past a hedge for a year, and then one day, out of the blue, it's a hedge!!!111! Iump!! Run away! It startles for no reason.
I'm of the belief that all horses are secretly omnivores with carnivorous leanings. They're only posing as herbivores to get our defences down, and then they will eat us.
I truly hate horses.

Horses kind of scare me. I mean, it's a thing with me, I get paranoid about things which really aren't going to happen, but what if they did, etc. Horses are iust a specific manifestation of that tendency. Because, you know, seeing them on TV, or at a distance, I'd be fine, they seem nice. But then I went to uni, and sometimes you can see mounted police iust round the corner from the student's union (In fact, en route from the union to the maths department), and horses are, it turns out, really big.
Like, maybe as tall as me? Close, anyway, and the hooves. They're big, and I know if I angered one of those horses it could outrun me and kick me really hard. Hell, even if I iust got too close, what if it stood on my foot? Hello pain, plus what if that (And presumably my screaming) spooked the horse? Then it flails those legs around, possibly kicks me, headbutts me, throws its rider onto me...

Yeah. Paranoid. Overactive imagination.
Horses are scary.

Yes, I only got three hours sleep last night. Did my paranoid ramblings give that away?

Didn't seem that out of the ordinary to me

[CurlyKitGirl]

Have you been reading Glen Cook? Because it really seems like you've been reading his Garret P.I. series...

Nope. They good books? Straight up mystery/crime/thrillers or is there a bit of fun in there too?

Horses kind of scare me. I mean, it's a thing with me, I get paranoid about things which really aren't going to happen, but what if they did, etc. Horses are iust a specific manifestation of that tendency. Because, you know, seeing them on TV, or at a distance, I'd be fine, they seem nice. But then I went to uni, and sometimes you can see mounted police iust round the corner from the student's union (In fact, en route from the union to the maths department), and horses are, it turns out, really big.
Like, maybe as tall as me? Close, anyway, and the hooves. They're big, and I know if I angered one of those horses it could outrun me and kick me really hard. Hell, even if I iust got too close, what if it stood on my foot? Hello pain, plus what if that (And presumably my screaming) spooked the horse? Then it flails those legs around, possibly kicks me, headbutts me, throws its rider onto me...

Yeah. Paranoid. Overactive imagination.
Horses are scary.

Exactly!
And you know how small I am. It's even worse for me.
Plu a horse's neigh; it's the coldest, most unnerving sound in the entire countryside (aside from bunnies and foxes, but they aren't genocidal maniacs. Except General Woundwart). You know what's bad?
There's a field system about two minutes from my house where we walk the mutts. It now seems to be a year round horse pasture even though it's citizen's right of way.
I have poor night vision. And there are eight, large, vicious horses in those fields. One's a thrice-damned stallion who has literally chased people into hedges and the woods because it wants to maul them and their dogs.
All of the horses are black or brown.
And I have poor night vision.
The light up the fields is extremely poor to natural light only.
I once walked - with the mutts off the leads - within ten yards of five of these evil creatures and only saw them (because of highly varying shades of vegetation) when one shifted and snorted.
Christ. On. A. Bike.

And then there was the time a few weeks earlier when I was walking them in daylight. There's a very wide field, so providing the horses are on one end and you're at the other most people iust walk right through.
But it's a one-way section. To get from the next couple of fields back to the lane you have to walk through this wide field again or walk down the frellin' bypass.
So I was walking back through the field and the bloody horses were standing maybe ten yards from the path back to safety.
Mutts on the leash, walk quickly, but not so quickly they startle.
Got freakin' stalked by one, it nearly reared and kicked the Puppy in the face because it walked too close to the poor thing. ON PURPOSE!
Then it started trotting behind me, getting closer and closer.
By the time I made it to safety I was quivering like an aspen leaf in a breeze, I couldn't breathe properly and I was so dizzy I had to sit down on the stile.

I. Hate. Horses.

Didn't seem that out of the ordinary to me

That's good then, I was worried I'd seem weirder than normal.

[Malfunctioned]

That's good then, I was worried I'd seem weirder than normal.

Considering the people that frequent the forum I'd probably say that your ramblings are probably saner than normal....

[Thufir]

Exactly!
And you know how small I am. It's even worse for me.
Plus a horse's neigh; it's the coldest, most unnerving sound in the entire countryside (aside from bunnies and foxes, but they aren't genocidal maniacs. Except General Woundwort). You know what's bad?
There's a field system about two minutes from my house where we walk the mutts. It now seems to be a year round horse pasture even though it's citizen's right of way.
I have poor night vision. And there are eight, large, vicious horses in those fields. One's a thrice-damned stallion who has literally chased people into hedges and the woods because it wants to maul them and their dogs.
All of the horses are black or brown.
And I have poor night vision.
The light up the fields is extremely poor to natural light only.
I once walked - with the mutts off the leads - within ten yards of five of these evil creatures and only saw them (because of highly varying shades of vegetation) when one shifted and snorted.
Christ. On. A. Bike.

And then there was the time a few weeks earlier when I was walking them in daylight. There's a very wide field, so providing the horses are on one end and you're at the other most people iust walk right through.
But it's a one-way section. To get from the next couple of fields back to the lane you have to walk through this wide field again or walk down the frellin' bypass.
So I was walking back through the field and the bloody horses were standing maybe ten yards from the path back to safety.
Mutts on the leash, walk quickly, but not so quickly they startle.
Got freakin' stalked by one, it nearly reared and kicked the Puppy in the face because it walked too close to the poor thing. ON PURPOSE!
Then it started trotting behind me, getting closer and closer.
By the time I made it to safety I was quivering like an aspen leaf in a breeze, I couldn't breathe properly and I was so dizzy I had to sit down on the stile.

I. Hate. Horses.

Worst I've had with free-roaming animals is cows. And while cows are still big and heavy, they're generally slow moving, not as tall as me, and too busy eating to take any notice, especially since there's no grass on the paths.
Though if one were to be iust standing on the path in my way I'm not entirely sure what I'd do.

That's good then, I was worried I'd seem weirder than normal.

Well, I was having paranoid ramblings of my own, and I slept fine, so...

[Coidzor]

Nope. They good books? Straight up mystery/crime/thrillers or is there a bit of fun in there too?

Well, the premise is a P.I. in a fantasy world, so, your mileage may vary, but it generally shifts between mystery and thriller/action as events play out and depending upon the plot of the individual book. That said, they're not very heavy on the mystery even when one of the stories shifts the focus on the mystery side.

Also, that field situation sounds to be of questionable legality. Especially if they have a history of attacking people. Usually animals like that are supposed to be moved or disposed of.

[Trobby]

Trobby, I do not like your business model! TOO MUCH DRM!

Who's with me? Let's boycott the question block game! STICK IT TO THE MAN... KUPPY BOY!

I know I'll be returning it for a refund.

D: But...but...;w; But what will all the Ice Pick Laboratory Factory Workers do to feed their families? D: You're putting tens, nay, zeros of families out of a home!

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Horse legions of death

There are woodlands across the road from my house that I often walk through, and containing fields, there are often horses, cows, bulls, and the like roaming around, chewing cud and keeping watch.
Well, on such occasions I can normally walk by without startling any of them as long as I proceed slowly and do not make eye contact - I conceal my suspicions of the horses' motives, lest they know their disguises are slipping and decide to eliminate an enlightened enemy of their conspiracy. But every now and then there will be one particularly villainous stallion with the gall to approach, staring me down and daring me to run.
I refuse, walking with the proper airs, and deny him his nefarious schemes to take me down. Once I'm behind the hedgerow of blackberry bushes and brambles and can move on to the next field I can relax, but if he ever could have known that it was fakery I am sure my end would've been neigh.

And with that terrible pun, the story of my relations with my equine nemesis is concluded... for now.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Considering the people that frequent the forum I'd probably say that your ramblings are probably saner than normal....

Hehe. And my family say I'm the CrAzY one. I do tend to tone it down because hour long/multiple pages of Word rants about anything are the kind of thing that induce a clip round the earhole and/or a long disbelieving stare.

Worst I've had with free-roaming animals is cows. And while cows are still big and heavy, they're generally slow moving, not as tall as me, and too busy eating to take any notice, especially since there's no grass on the paths.
Though if one were to be iust standing on the path in my way I'm not entirely sure what I'd do.

Lucky. Cows are one of the more pleasant idiots of the animal kingdom.

Well, I was having paranoid ramblings of my own, and I slept fine, so...

Maybe it's the fact that we've realised we';re not alone and there really is an equine conspiracy making us more verbal than normal.

[QUOTE=Coidzor;9329040]Well, the premise is a P.I. in a fantasy world, so, your mileage may vary, but it generally shifts between mystery and thriller/action as events play out and depending upon the plot of the individual book. That said, they're not very heavy on the mystery even when one of the stories shifts the focus on the mystery side.

Oooh! That sounds interesting. WOuld you recommend any in particular or do you really have to start at the beginning and read onwards?
Because this sounds ever-so-vaguely like the Watch arc in the Discworld. Vaguely, but similar enough to engender a strong belief that I'd like this series.

Also, that field situation sounds to be of questionable legality. Especially if they have a history of attacking people. Usually animals like that are supposed to be moved or disposed of.

Legally it's common land, so anyone can use it for whatever purpose as long as it's not destructive or liable to iniure another's property.
We also don't know who owns the horses, and a large number of us are certain that it's multiple people paddocking their horses together.
Plus we're WelshCornish, so we're surprisingly easy going about this sort of thing. And as all the horses are brown or black we can't easily identify which of the horses it was.
Not to mention the members of the herd seem to swtich in and out at random due to said multiple individuals theory.

There are woodlands across the road from my house that I often walk through, and containing fields, there are often horses, cows, bulls, and the like roaming around, chewing cud and keeping watch.
Well, on such occasions I can normally walk by without startling any of them as long as I proceed slowly and do not make eye contact - I conceal my suspicions of the horses' motives, lest they know their disguises are slipping and decide to eliminate an enlightened enemy of their conspiracy. But every now and then there will be one particularly villainous stallion with the gall to approach, staring me down and daring me to run.
I refuse, walking with the proper airs, and deny him his nefarious schemes to take me down. Once I'm behind the hedgerow of blackberry bushes and brambles and can move on to the next field I can relax, but if he ever could have known that it was fakery I am sure my end would've been neigh.

And with that terrible pun, the story of my relations with my equine nemesis is concluded... for now.

Personally I feel the pun failed so utterly it's not worthy of acknowledging as a pun.
Glad to know you've got the guts to stare down the local leader of the horsey chapter of DOOM though. But be careful, there may be ninia horses stalking you, tracking your every move.

[Coidzor]

So, there's basically no accountability and no way to identify who owns the horses without doing something illegal. That's just depressing. And no brands or markers of identification...


Hmm, the series is chronological, but I believe most of them can be read stand-alone, I started with, I think, book 4 and then read book 1 and didn't really notice that I'd missed anything by doing so. If you liked Small Gods there's a bit of some similar themery going on in Petty Pewter Gods.

The Wiki article on it contains some mild foul language so I'm not going to link it, but it shows up as the first google result for Garret PI for me.

Order

Spoiler

Show

1. Sweet Silver Blues (1987)
2. Bitter Gold Hearts (1988)
3. Cold Copper Tears (1988)
4. Old Tin Sorrows (1989)
5. Dread Brass Shadows (1990)
6. Red Iron Nights (1991)
7. Deadly Quicksilver Lies (1994)
8. Petty Pewter Gods (1995)
9. Faded Steel Heat (1999)
10. Angry Lead Skies (2002)
11. Whispering Nickel Idols (2005)
12. Cruel Zinc Melodies (2008)
13. Gilded Latten Bones (2010)

Science Fiction Book Club omnibus editions:

1. The Garrett Files (collects Sweet Silver Blues, Bitter Gold Hearts, and Cold Copper Tears; 2003)
2. Garrett, P.I. (collects Old Tin Sorrows, Dread Brass Shadows, and Red Iron Nights; 2003)
3. Garrett Investigates (collects Deadly Quicksilver Lies, Petty Pewter Gods, and Faded Steel Heat; 2004)
4. Garrett On The Case (collects Angry Lead Skies, and Whispering Nickel Idols; 2005)

[Thufir]

D: But...but...;w; But what will all the Ice Pick Laboratory Factory Workers do to feed their families? D: You're putting tens, nay, zeros of families out of a home!

Have we no prisons? No workhouses? If they're going to die they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population!

Maybe it's the fact that we've realised we're not alone and there really is an equine conspiracy making us more verbal than normal.

So long as we don't get too carried away. Mustn't let them know we're onto them...

Oooh! That sounds interesting. Would you recommend any in particular or do you really have to start at the beginning and read onwards?
Because this sounds ever-so-vaguely like the Watch arc in the Discworld. Vaguely, but similar enough to engender a strong belief that I'd like this series.

Or alternatively like Discworld Noir, the third game which I haven't played, in which you are an Ankh-Morpork PI.

[Coidzor]

Or alternatively like Discworld Noir, the third game which I haven't played, in which you are an Ankh-Morpork PI.

Wait, there's more than the single adventure game as Rincewind!?

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Maybe it's the fact that we've realised we';re not alone and there really is an equine conspiracy making us more verbal than normal.

Or in my case, any excuse for felicitous verbosity is perfectly and indubitably valid.

Personally I feel the pun failed so utterly it's not worthy of acknowledging as a pun.

At least it was an intentional failure, and thus in its own way an intentional success.

Glad to know you've got the guts to stare down the local leader of the horsey chapter of DOOM though. But be careful, there may be ninia horses stalking you, tracking your every move.

You could very well be right. This is just like the time when my fridge was being laid siege by the Cravendale Cows.
Against the herd, there can be only one... *loads gigantic gun in a rather audible Hollywood fashion*

This could be a film. In fact, it sounds like an action-comedy film. There would be plenty of explosions and witticisms, scenes of aristocratic garden parties and the Royal Ascot being cinematically destroyed and a massive showdown at Buckingham Palace, Whitehall, Downing Street and the Houses of Parliament. In the end I get knighted for saving the country - no, wait, a hereditary peerage would be better - I'll take Viscount or above - and the credits roll with me and the inevitable love interest on some massive yacht, with so much glue we don't know what to do with it.

[Thufir]

Wait, there's more than the single adventure game as Rincewind!?

There are two with Rincewind and one with this PI whose name I can't remember.

[Malfunctioned]

Against the herd, there can be only one... *loads gigantic gun in a rather audible Hollywood fashion*

This could be a film. In fact, it sounds like an action-comedy film. There would be plenty of explosions and witticisms, scenes of aristocratic garden parties and the Royal Ascot being cinematically destroyed and a massive showdown at Buckingham Palace, Whitehall, Downing Street and the Houses of Parliament. In the end I get knighted for saving the country - no, wait, a hereditary peerage would be better - I'll take Viscount or above - and the credits roll with me and the inevitable love interest on some massive yacht, with so much glue we don't know what to do with it.

Will I get to use my Don LaFontaine impression?
Then again, I've been told it sounds like Peter Cullen instead but both of those would be good enough.

Of course, if you need a plucky teenage sidekick...... *whistles nonchalantly*

Or Estrogen Brigade Bait for a very small demographic? Or so I've been told....

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Will I get to use my Don LaFontaine impression?
Then again, I've been told it sounds like Peter Cullen instead but both of those would be good enough.

Of course, if you need a plucky teenage sidekick...... *whistles nonchalantly*

Or Estrogen Brigade Bait for a very small demographic? Or so I've been told....

Absolutely. In fact, I'm sure all of the Londoner Playgrounders would get to make an appearance in the second half of the film at the very least - some survive, some don't, some are fleeing and others are fighting - and of course everybody gets to kill horses in creative and amazing ways.
I'm already thinking of the possibilities - perhaps you could use the London Eye as a battering ram against them and a means of getting past the horse barricades to get onto the other side of the Thames. It'd be like running on an extremely large Ferris Wheel.
Somebody else could sail the Golden Hind up the river.
Then the Gherkin turns out to be a giant missile.
And Big Ben could ring out loudly enough to make the horses bolt everywhere, giving us the ultimate opportunity to take the leaders of the Revolution down.

[Malfunctioned]

I think me, Nameless and ToxicaT should try to hold them off, only to seemingly die due to a stampede.

Of course we'd be fine at the end and just explain it with a shrug.

[Trobby]

Have we no prisons? No workhouses? If they're going to die they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population!

...Don't make me call a ghost on you, buddy.

Because I kind of only know one. And he's blue, so he might be lenient on you because you are a blue lobster.

...

Don't make me break out the boiling water, buddy.

[Pyrian]

Is it possible to make lobster bacon?

[arguskos]

I just made myself a bagel with smoked gouda melted upon it. It was delicious. And then I drank some imported Coke, because stupid America doesn't put sugar in Coke, and the only way to get some with it is to go to Costco, and buy some Coke que hecho en Mexico.

Regardless, much tastiness was to be had by all. Which was me.

1. Smoked gouda=win tier.

2. Mexican Coke=doublewintier.

3. Needs moar IBC in the bottle.

Is it possible to make lobster bacon?

God I hope not.

[Coidzor]

Maybe lobster-flavored bacon through the use of lobster bisque as a marinade?

That reminds me, I need to start smoking cheeses.

It may be Wintier, but it isn't Ruby Knight Windicator.

[arguskos]

Maybe lobster-flavored bacon through the use of lobster bisque as a marinade?

That reminds me, I need to start smoking cheeses.

Don't do it! It's a gateway food to smoking something harder, like meats or pickles or something bad for you! WE LOVE YOU! Don't do it!

It may be Wintier, but it isn't Ruby Knight Windicator.

RKW isn't Wintier. RKW is failtier.

[Gullara]

Is it possible to make lobster bacon?

Please take your bacon related questions to the bacon thread.

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=167826

Thank you

[Cobalt]

*staggers in*

*looks at amount of pages thread has advanced since he's been gone*

*staggers out*


More seriously, I'm here to complain about the heat. Why the Sun holds a grudge against me, I'll never know. But it does. Oh, it does. And it won't rest until I reach the point where the feeling in my spine doesn't come back after a few minutes post-run.

And so, I'm concocting a scheme to destroy the sun. I'll be sure to drop back in after I've done it- let everyone know. Wouldn't want you to be in the dark about it.[/clever][/eyebrowwaggle][/evillaugh][/math]

[Trobby]

Is it possible to make lobster bacon?

I've seen them wrap scallops in bacon, and put bacon inside of beef with pickles and onions. And I saw a pelican at Frisco Bay. He tried to eat my cell phone. He ran away.


ION: My dad can be a bit of a jerk.

Okay, so we were moving beds from one room to another today (the bed I slept in broke, and I'm only allowed to take up the one room, so he'd rather have us switch the two beds from room to room than just have me move into the other room), and we're taking apart the beds to put into the next room. It wasn't so bad at first, though he did call me "as clumsy as an elephant" at one point.

Then he started talking about my sister's things. See, she sleeps in the room that we're moving the bed from on occasion, and also uses it as a sort of "storage space" for some of her things, haphazardly stacked into corners. He hates it. He doesn't say it aloud to anyone but me, and he really really hates it. He's threatened more than once to throw it all out and burn it in a fire. He would never actually DO that, but the hate is still there.

While he was throwing things into a pile to get them out of the way, he told me to grab a stack of..."junk" so he could stuff it on top of the pile.

The little corner of stuff he asked me to pick up was all of the stuff I had in that room.

...Maybe I'm just oversensitive to this sort of thing, but when he gets that way, it makes me feel like he'd be better off if I just up and left this place. He could get rid of everything of mine taking up his space, do whatever he wants with it, and never have to worry about feeding me or keeping shelter for me or anything else ever again.

I know he doesn't really feel that way...but it really is how I feel every time he says something like that.

...So anyway, I really wanted to tell someone that, and I guess GitP is as good a place as any. I trust you guys...maybe a little more than is wise, but I really feel like I can tell you guys about something like this.

...Thanks for listening.