"I too like to destroy beehives with nuclear weapons!" Mundane problem; crazy answer

[nedz]

Add sculpt spell to fimbulwinter. Problem solved...kinda.

Except that Sculpt Spell reduces the area from 1 mile/level radius to something which people could just stroll out of.

[malonkey1]

Except that Sculpt Spell reduces the area from 1 mile/level radius to something which people could just stroll out of.

Fine, Mastery of Shaping then.

[LarwisTheElf]

NPC charging too much for a particular magic item? Use infinite gold tricks and but out his store, as well as every other store on the plane. Now you never have to worry about price twice over (once for infinite gold, twice for owning all stores everywhere).

Need to climb a 10 ft high ledge? Buy a 10 ft ladder! Cause who ever really carries one of those things around anyway?

[atemu1234]

In all fairness, Athas is so screwed up that there really is no measure too extreme for that.

Yeah, but I like that one.

[Petrocorus]

Fine, Mastery of Shaping then.

Or maybe putting that Explosive Spell shenanigan on some other 1st level AoE spell with a different AoE.

[GreyBlack]

The temperature in the room is a bit too warm. Obviously, the solution is Fimblwinter.

[Raven777]

There's an exam today. Didn't study. Control Weather four miles radius tornado. School's closed!

[Extra Anchovies]

There's an exam today. Didn't study. Control Weather four miles radius tornado. School's closed!

I wish I could do that... no more midterms

[torrasque666]

There's an exam today. Didn't study. Control Weather four miles radius tornado. School's closed!

I wish I could do that... no more midterms

I don't suppose you could send that my way and cancel my econ final?

[Beowulf DW]

We were told that a very large warg was haunting a particular forest. We burned the forest down because the druid's player was away that week.

[Venger]

There's an exam today. Didn't study. Control Weather four miles radius tornado. School's closed!

so that's why it's snowing. thanks!

[Raven777]

I just got turned into a vampire in the most ass backward way possible, by my own vampire-in-a-can gone berserk no less, but it fits the theme of the thread.

Paladin: We need to pay to raise your mistress and then pay to restore the strength drain she was under before that.
Familiar: No!
*One Speak With Dead later*
Paladin: Your mistress wants to become an undead abomination to save on bills?
Familiar: Yes!

[yoshi67]

DM doesn't interpret the rule like you do and shuts down your plan to break the game?
Need something extra to build that character you really want but DM won't agree?
Want to stop a player from abusing a rile/loophole that makes the game boring, but the DM allows it?

1. Acquire a rulebook, preferably one that's allowed but noone ever uses, either in pdf or a physical copy.
1a. If in physical form, painstakingly make high quality, perfect copies of ALL the pages AND covers.
2. Pay your graphic design friend to Photoshop a slight rule change/massive rewrite of your choice.
3. Pay a printer/publisher/book binder to print out the altered book in high quality color using heavyweight glossy paper, make a realistic hardback cover, and professionally bind it using the same method as your chosen book.
4. Use altered book(s) to warp the game in your favor
5. Prepare for book-related head injury and/or loss of friends

[Aegis013]

so that's why it's snowing. thanks!

I just realized that it was, fellow Texan. Rather odd. Seems like we may need to cast Ice Galleon to get to wherever we're going, since we both know Texans can't drive in snow.

[Venger]

I just realized that it was, fellow Texan. Rather odd. Seems like we may need to cast Ice Galleon to get to wherever we're going, since we both know Texans can't drive in snow.

doesn't matter much since everything'll be closed as a result of no one knowing how to drive in the snow.

[Raven777]

How do we fix no Texan knowing how to drive in the snow?

[torrasque666]

How do we fix no Texan knowing how to drive in the snow?

Gonna go with Mindrape.

[commander panda]

mindrape.

lots and lots of mindrape.

[Phelix-Mu]

I just realized that it was, fellow Texan. Rather odd. Seems like we may need to cast Ice Galleon to get to wherever we're going, since we both know Texans can't drive in snow.

doesn't matter much since everything'll be closed as a result of no one knowing how to drive in the snow.

How do we fix no Texan knowing how to drive in the snow?

Gonna go with Mindrape.

mindrape.

lots and lots of mindrape.

Yeah. Cause nothing bad could possibly come from [PRE-REDACTED].

[Threadnaught]

Wipe out true Scotsmen everywhere.


Use Wish to replicate Prestidigitation on every Scotsman in the world, to sugar their porridge.

[toapat]

How does this work already?


What are fimbulwinters?

Imagine if the second law of thermodynamics was reversed.

Now imagine that effecting an area 80 miles in diameter.

For 10 years.

that's correct. so where does the debate come in, exactly?

Short answer: The rule isnt written to function for anything but wizards, fireball, and wizards casting fireball. Exploits are by definition that, holes in the rules. Its the fact that the rule is worded so poorly as to not function.

Yeah, but I like that one.

meh, i only killed Athas, 75% chance of having restored the sun (we do have AN issue with that but that comes down to exact rules we dont know), and delayed the issue of defiling for several million/billion years.

[Yomega]

It seems to me a sculpted fumblewinter would be the perfect way to keep your drink cold on a tropical beach, or a full sized one if you sit on the edge of the spell effect.

[mashlagoo1982]

This actually happened in a session.

*Party encounters locked door*

Options Available:
A) Rogue with lock picking
B) Any party member with obvious tools scattered around
C) 10 barrels of explosives

... of course the party selected explosives first, after learning there was something sentient behind the door.

[Phelix-Mu]

It seems to me a sculpted fumblewinter would be the perfect way to keep your drink cold on a tropical beach, or a full sized one if you sit on the edge of the spell effect.

I prefer the spell frostfell for my drink-refrigerating purposes.

Nothing against fimbulwinter of course (great spell), but nothing spells "STYLE" like having a flesh-to-iced marilith as my drink holder (she can hold up to six drinks!). When my drink gets too warm, I can just shave a bit of ice off her ass. Problem solved.

The bigger issue is the supply of mariliths. Every time I go looking for one now, they all overreact and toss whole armies at me. *sigh*

Hehe.

I don't always drink cold drinks, but when I do, I prefer frostfell'd ones.

[SamsDisciple]

King trying to feed a hungry populace? (or just a parent of a teenage boy) Capture the tarrasque, use one of many techniques to subdue it (there was a thread recently that talked about this) and carve up infinite tarrasque burgers! You now have an unending supply of regenerating meat that won't eat you for a while at least. Just make sure to cook it well, we don't want to have a case of exploding indigestion.

[Extra Anchovies]

King trying to feed a hungry populace? (or just a parent of a teenage boy) Capture the tarrasque, use one of many techniques to subdue it (there was a thread recently that talked about this) and carve up infinite tarrasque burgers! You now have an unending supply of regenerating meat that won't eat you for a while at least. Just make sure to cook it well, we don't want to have a case of exploding indigestion.

Get a d2 crusader to knock it down to negative infinity. It doesn't matter if rolling for damage causes the crusader to glitch out and freeze up; that tarrasque isn't ever waking up.

[Inevitability]

Get a d2 crusader to knock it down to negative infinity. It doesn't matter if rolling for damage causes the crusader to glitch out and freeze up; that tarrasque isn't ever waking up.

Unless a crazy mystic theurge worshipping a god of death and destruction decides to Teleport Through Time the Tarrasque to an era where humans barely could talk, kill it, raise it, and then see it easily crush our civilization.

[Lightlawbliss]

problem: Need to get from the bottom of the grand stair case to the top.
solution: Make enough ice assassins of Punpun to instantly make (by hand and without magic) and carry a litter of your design. Have them lift you into the litter and position you comfortably, carry you up to the top, they take you out of the litter. Then have them fight to the death for the honor of opening the door.

[Extra Anchovies]

problem: Need to get from the bottom of the grand stair case to the top.
solution: Make enough ice assassins to fill the staircase completely, and have them lift you through/over their bodies to the top

Fixed that for you.

[Venger]

Fixed that for you.

There would be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

That's what casting's all about.