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Thread: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
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2011-04-08, 04:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Yay! In the current economic climate and all, it's good to have something to be proud of!
I finally got brave enough to ask a stranger (female) if she had a boyfriend or girlfriend, instead of just boyfriend, as part of getting-to-know small talk. Usually I'm worried the other person will turn out to be super-conservative and it'll get all awkward. But I've decided if they take offence, I'd rather get to know someone else. And she didn't take offence so, success!
Cheerfairy, Kenderwoman and Geologist by Succubus, Feminist Geomancer by Astrella, Kender Wizard by me
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2011-04-08, 10:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2006
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- Dinosaur Museum aw yisss.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
The question was asked why anyone would have sex without the emotional connection. I was explaining that. Asexuality has nothing to do with it - if you don't like sex anyway, then it's all irrelevant.I said that. Seriously. Again: That's why I said "queer", not "gay".
The rest, I'll read that later. Be interesting to see a proper article, not a NineMSN one.The Iron Avatarist Hall of Fame!
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2011-04-09, 01:52 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Whoo SMBC!
That is all.
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2011-04-09, 02:18 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
^: Still, I don't think he'll ever come anywhere close to the brilliance born of trolling that website that direct linked to his.
Ok, I think I see what you were getting at now. However, you can't say that someone who is asexual can actually encounter the same circumstances for having sex as someone who is not asexual. Even if you isolate every other variable, the biggest one is still pretty much set in stone as going to dominate the flavor of the context.
The unspoken assumption of the scenario as it was put forth, IIRC, indeed that the scenario hinges upon, is freely chosen, desired sex.
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2011-04-09, 03:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I was just trying to say that if you have some who enjoys both apples and oranges and some who hate both then it sounds logical to me that some may only like one or the other. ._.
Is my logic really that flawed? I mean, it makes sense on the scale of bisexuality (with homosexuality and heterosexuality as the extremes here) so why not whatever-you'd-call-this-axis?
You're probably right, since I know very little about it. But I still think there are degrees and differences in people's enjoyment of the same things (I dislike a popular candy, for example)Last edited by Mina Kobold; 2011-04-09 at 03:10 AM.
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2011-04-09, 03:14 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2006
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- Dinosaur Museum aw yisss.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
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2011-04-09, 04:05 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Last edited by Asta Kask; 2011-04-09 at 04:15 AM.
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
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2011-04-09, 05:30 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
This is what I don't get, why does enjoying sex-with-emotions mean that one has to enjoy sex-without-emotions? Wouldn't it just be part of their orientation? That they like sex with x group and that group is people they love?
Unless I still read it wrong, I think I may. Sorry if I do, I did not intend to be this bothersome.Treasured Quotes
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2011-04-09, 05:35 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
When did I say that enjoying sex-with-emotions means you must enjoy sex-without-emotions? In fact, I flat-out stated that it's possible to enjoy any mix of it. If you're taking issue with my "1. Sex is fun. 2. Sex is blah blah blah", well, that's from the point of view of someone for whom that is true, presumably the sort of person at whom the original question was directed.
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2011-04-09, 03:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
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2011-04-09, 06:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2005
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- Curitiba, Brazil
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Well, I have reviewed the other messages Jacklu didn't post and will post them now, along with two others we got the last few days.
Originally Posted by Anonymous person 01Originally Posted by Anonymous person 02Originally Posted by Anonymous person 03Originally Posted by Anonymous person 1 (from page 8)LGBT in the playground - banner by Doihaveaname?.
Thanks to Ceika, Dihan, Happy Turtle, Reicaden and Haruki for the avatars.
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2011-04-10, 12:44 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2006
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I hate this topic and wish it'd go away, but there's a question in the R'ships thread for LGBT types.
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2011-04-10, 09:03 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Originally Posted by Anon1, P.8
Anon3: Well, you just said that you have no other way to cope and you'll just do nothing but beat yourself up about it if you don't tell the object of your affections about them. So what do you want from us? Suggestions as to how to go about it with as little friction as possible?
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2011-04-10, 08:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2010
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Today has been really crappy. Spent most of the day in the ER (I'm okay now) but whenever I get down like this I fall into a slump where I just really, really hate my stupid wrong-gendered body. Compounded by the fact that my stupid breasts that I shouldn't even have are making my already painful chest pain even worse.
Sometimes being a writer doesn't help me with things like this, because I live so much of my life in Make-Believe Land that I end up forgetting that I'm not actually going to find a magical genie who can fix the problem, or that I don't live in a super-duper high tech sci-fi world where SRS is a no problem surgery that's actually 100% successful. Times are I think I can handle this, because I know it'll get better, but then I end up waking up and have to remember that, no, it's not going to get better, because even if I man up and go the SRS route it's not as good as we might wish it.
I can haz hug? (Only gentle-like, 'cuz of the chest pain and stuff.)
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2011-04-10, 08:59 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2008
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
*one hundred million billion trillion quadrillion etc etc hugs*
Seriously. That sucks. Hard. *hug*Last edited by unosarta; 2011-04-10 at 09:00 PM.
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2011-04-10, 09:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
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2011-04-10, 09:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Last edited by cycoris; 2011-04-10 at 09:13 PM.
My preferred pronouns: they, them, their
When I speak I'll cross my fingers
Will you know you've been deceived?
I find the need to be a demon
A demon cannot be hurt
Avatar by Jacklu
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2011-04-11, 12:03 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
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2011-04-11, 12:28 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Bottom of a well
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Anon #1: I recommend bluntness. A good way to "test waters" would maybe be to find an article on line about... I don't know. Gay marriage. Someone coming out. The death of don't ask don't tell. And just ask "what do you think of this?" when they walk by.
Anon #2: Yeah... I recommend not closeting. I realize how bad ridicule can get (when I was about your age I was the class punching bag for gay jokes, ridicule, and punching bags because I was sexually assaulted by another student back before I realized I had same sex feelings). . And yeah. It can get bad. About as bad as what you were talking about with panic attacks and depression. But at least you'll be being yourself without the stress of being someone you're not. And any friends who stick with you will be friends of you rather than some guy you're pretending to be, which believe it or not makes a huge difference. And you'll have an easier shot of finding a date. Especially, since you'll soon be moving to college or into the job market (I think you said you're 18), outside of high school, weeeelll.... I'll let others say it for me.
Anon #3: I'm sorry I have no real advice for this sort of scenario. In general, I'd say your gender identity stuff and other feelings are something that you'll have to work through yourself. As for the relationship questions? It sounds to me like you want to share your feelings. And that you want someone to confirm that you should. I can't do that on its own merits because I don't understand these sorts of problems, but I can give my single biggest piece of advice. The piece of advice that friends have threatened to shoot me over if I give it to them again I have so overused it. *Do what you think is best.*
Danne: Gentle hug to avoid chest pain.
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2011-04-11, 02:12 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Riotsville, BC
Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
*non-chest-involving hug*
Awww... you have my empathy on the gender issues. And I know a ton of people have already offered, but if you ever want to talk about stuff I'm always willing to listen.
On the subject of SRS - it certainly is not perfect or easy by any means. But I thought it might help you if I pointed out that there are a lot of people who transition without the surgery and still manage to feel contented with themselves on the whole (and everyone, not just transfolk, will have crappy days some of the time). The key seems to be finding a stage where you can be happy with yourself, and different people need different things to reach that point. Still, even if things aren't good enough for you to be completely satisified, doesn't every bit help a little?
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2011-04-11, 04:24 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2008
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- Xin-Shalast
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Maybe then, as a writer, you should investigate the raw data of your own life and experience rather than create them new from wholecloth. Pain, suffering, hardship, these all shape us at the personal level just as much as joy or adventure. Escapism and no meat makes Jack a dull boy, after all.
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2011-04-11, 09:41 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2010
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Seconding golentan here(didn't I second golentan before with being blunt with the last batch of anonymail?). A good topic to bring up would be this, as previously mentioned earlier in the thread.
Also, just making this a short post and ignoring the sex-with-emotions vs sex-without-emotions as I am exhausted with multiple projects and tests for college. I had the date I mentioned... what, six pages back now? after reschedualing once again due to a nasty cough. It was alright, though a bit of a disappointment, really. May post details later if I don't snap and curl up in a ball during my next lecture.
*pat on the head for Danne as my hugs can break ribs even when I'm not as frustrated as I am now*
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2011-04-11, 04:07 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
An article I read a bit ago.
Just thought I'd share. I think this is a positive bit of news.
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2011-04-11, 06:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Danne --
In better news... you're a writer. That's pretty cool.
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2011-04-11, 09:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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2011-04-11, 09:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
My GSA is handing out buttons for Day of Silence this week, and I just got my fancy new button!
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Chained Cambion Avatar by Elder Tsofu.
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2011-04-11, 09:10 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Hey guys, Long time no speak. I'm in kind of a rut right now. And I'm kind of crushing on one of my co-workers, but he's straight and kind of a jerk so I think ignoring it is the best option. Validation?
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2011-04-11, 09:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2008
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- Minneapolis
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Just don't. I have been crushing on a straight class mate; long story short, he is basically an *******, and not worth it. If they are absolutely sure in their sexuality, it isn't worth it. Honestly. And if their personality is that bad, it means that they probably wouldn't even mean that much to you.
Also; I am watching Torchwood right now. Such a great show (even without all of the homoerotic tension- I swear, I think just about every non-alien/time related problem they have could be solved with one big... slumber party).
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2011-04-11, 09:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Dec 2007
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
For me, it helps to allow myself, in my own mind, to play out the most depraved, indulgent fantasies out of the most turpid barrel-scrapings of the deepest cellar in my heart with the unattainable person. Rather than ignore the feelings, give them so much air that they wither up like a cave mushroom in the summer sun. It helps if they're a jerk too, it makes the exercise easier.
Last edited by Kneenibble; 2011-04-11 at 09:39 PM.
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2011-04-11, 10:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
^: Just remember never mention it to anyone who can ever find out who you are, because it can't really fail at sounding like something supremely sketchy. And by sketchy I mean the first impression I got was something extremely unflattering. :/
If they're a horrible person and you'll get nothing but pain from them even if you did sleep with them, it's probably still not worth it as well. And it probably wouldn't even be the enjoyable kind of pain either, just the regular old vanilla, boring variety.