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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-07-06, 12:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-07-09, 04:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
The Hydra and Inkyrius with True Love.
The Hydra's a playa now?
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2009-07-09, 04:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-09, 04:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- A warmish part of Canada
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Bibliomancer; 2009-07-09 at 04:57 PM.
In Dungeons and Dragons, racism is frowned upon, unless you're playing an elf. Then it's an interesting character trait.
Avatar by Darwin.
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2009-07-09, 05:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-09 at 05:01 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-10, 07:12 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
You- you can just end it there!
Moar!!!This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 04:26 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
And then????
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-11, 04:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Will V get smited or will Miko get smitten?
How will Roy react to the elf stealing his romantic interest?
What romance advice can Haley give, and will she want to given her dislike of Miko?
What snarky comments will Belkar make?
And will Miko finally get some treasure type O?
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 05:31 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Point of criticism - V giving in to sudden lust and kissing someone without being able to control himself is highly out of character. It would work with more abnormal circumstances, like if Belkar had slipped an aphrodisiac into V's morning tea as a prank, but the way it is now? Sorry, too blatantly screaming THIS IS A FANFIC AND NOT THE REAL VAARSUVIUS! for me.
Otherwise, though, highly amusing. :P
Oh gods, I actually read it, didn't I??? O.O
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2009-07-11, 05:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-11 at 06:28 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 06:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's not supposed to make sense. I wrote this as it came to me and I perfectly know it's out of character. Most of the humor comes from this fact.
And aphrodisiac will now be the official explanation.
"Okay, who put aphrodisiac in V's tea?"
"It wasn't me but I'd have done it if I knew the paladin'd come. Score!"
"I found it in the dragon's cave and I figured Vaarsuvius would like it since it's a big, complicated word."Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-07-11 at 10:54 AM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-07-11, 07:13 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I got Xykon and Julio Scoundrel. A bit boring, but I've had enough stupid ones.
Julio Scoundrel shook his head, irritation clear on his face. He'd been doing the whole dashing hero thing now for, what, call it twenty years. Twenty five at the most, and had a good idea of how these sort of things were supposed to work out. You sneak in past the easily duped guards, defeat a bumbling lieutenant in swordplay, find the attractive girl locked up, rescue her, foil whatever dastardly plan the evil overlord was a-planning and the fly into the sunset.
Mind you, the first part had worked like a charm. The he'd left the guards unconscious and snuck into the tower, only to watch it all go down hill from there. The lieutenant (that he'd initially taken as a generic goblin) had spotted him right away and given as good as he got, and by the time he staggered to the room where the girl he had planned to rescue stayed he had found that not only was she attracted to her employer, but she was a career girl quite happy where she was. He'd tried to leave but the bloody goblin had come back and knocked him cold.
When he awoke he felt his shoulders burning as the chains pulled them back up the wall, and his feet were manacled together. Standing in front of him was a tall skeleton in a blue robe, with a tattered red cape and a badass crown at a jaunt angle.
"You know what gets under my skin? Metaphorically of course." The lich began, his unsettlingly deep voice managing to sound sarcastic and menacing all at once. "Want to be hero types like you who think they can just come in here and steal stuff." Julio opened his mouth, but the lich hit him with a hand like a bagful of dice, bruising his jaw. Ah. It was gong to be one of those sort of questionings.
"Really I don't care why. You probably think you have a good reason, not that I care. But the crux of the matter is you screwed up, and now i get to hurt you. Redcloak says I should just kill you, and hey, he's probably right, but who's to argue? I want to have fun, and that's the end of it." Reaching forward he took Julio's chin and forcibly tilted it to meet his eye sockets. "Nice face though. Be a shame to ruin it. Unless..." He trailed off, as though the idea had only just occurred to him, but Julio was already shaking his head."
"Sorry you sick freak, but I don't swing that way."
To his surprise the lich chuckled softly, his laughter lacking timbre or volume. "lack of flesh a problem to you pretty boy?" he sneered, then laughed again as Julio gaped. Xykon again looked exactly as he had before he became undead. Julio was considered by many to be the epitome of male attractiveness, but Xykon was attractive in a way only an epic level scorceror with maxed out charisma could be. He had high cheekbones, a face like a statue of a roman god and even the crows feet at the corners of his eyes looked intentional, the perfect addition to his perfect face. The robe didn't do much for his figure, but Xykon could have dressed in an old pile of sheets and still oozed masculinity. Julio felt his mouth go dry.
"So, ready to have some fun?" Xykon asked, his lips inches away from Julio's, "Or do you prefer to take it slow..."Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-11, 10:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I like it! I loved the comment about how things usually go for Julio Scoundrel and how they didn't go as planned.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-07-11, 12:31 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 12:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
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2009-07-11, 01:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 01:10 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Edit: I got Miko X gender flipped Miko. >_<
Last edited by Milskidasith; 2009-07-11 at 01:10 PM.
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2009-07-11, 01:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-07-11 at 01:58 PM.
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2009-07-11, 02:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- TX, USA
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory
When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.
Starving the trolls since 2004
Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.
Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)
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2009-07-11, 03:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 04:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- TX, USA
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels." -Sheldon Cooper, Big Bang Theory
When life gives you lemons, tell Belkar it called him short and then laugh from a safe distance.
Starving the trolls since 2004
Proud inventor of the I-pod Throwing Star... I think.
Feel free to click the clickies! (By that I mean DO IT NOW!)
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2009-07-11, 04:35 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 04:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Sleep is for the weak! It gives you cancer you know.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-11, 05:00 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-07-11 at 05:08 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 05:13 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Eugene and that girl with the weird name in SoD (you know, Xykon's old squeeze/rival).
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-07-11, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2009
- Location
- Nebraska, USA
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by The Blackbird; 2009-07-11 at 05:15 PM.
How to: Glibness
Spoiler
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2009-07-11, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-07-11, 05:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-07-11, 05:56 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt