LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?

[noparlpf]

I see plaid as a manly pattern because I associate it with lumberjacks. And then with Irish/Scottish dudes throwing tree trunks. Then as an afterthought I remember that it's a common pattern for things like pleated skirts, which are kind of like a girly version of kilts. There's some cultural bias all up in there. Also I don't personally like plaid much. The shades of red and green involved, and the way they interact, don't appeal to me much.

[Arachu]

Blegh. Okie doke, I'll refrain. I'd hate to call you briàn by accident.
...huh. Briàn is a word? Silly iOS.

I think that's a name, too. Silly Europe.

No silly, Dylan's-girlfriend, so when she takes you shopping you can get stuff. Although the more I say it all out loud the less fun and the more creepy it gets >.<

Oh well.

Oh. That makes more sense.

(I had a long day yesterday - sorry if I seemed annoyed. *Hugs*)

That, I get. The "funny" part is that out of all the times sex is involved, there's a very low percentage of acts made with the explicit intention to make babies.
To complete the example above, men are generally considered "trapped" if they get their partner pregnant. They're supposed to be the ones asking for that activity, but rarely seem to desire the biological consequences.
Beside sex, few other biological imperatives get the same treatment. For many people, food is less important than some arbitrary good shape; sleep hinders work and fun activities; diseases are always treated no matter how life-threatening or incurable they are; every day people get their bodies permanently altered for purely aesthetic purposes. (Again, these activities are vastly unnatural, and sometimes irrational, but that doesn't make them bad, far from it.)
Of course, I may be biased in that I don't generally like sex nor children...

I haven't seen aesthetic body modification being approached lightly as much as I've seen it demonized. I don't get what's supposed to be wrong with someone else changing something they don't like on their own body, but apparently it's just terrible.

That.....i dont know what to say *Hug*

P.S. Ill send you some polish baked into a cake or something if you cant get any lol

Actually, I should be getting some polish (and a purse) the next time I go to Dylan's.


~Bianca

[Mono Vertigo]

I haven't seen aesthetic body modification being approached lightly as much as I've seen it demonized. I don't get what's supposed to be wrong with someone else changing something they don't like on their own body, but apparently it's just terrible.

Several people I know (who are cis) have had cosmetic surgeries (nose, liftings, breasts, etc...). They didn't really get demonized for these, although it's not a subject that pops up often either.
I don't think it's inherently wrong either, for the record.

[Carecalmo]

You are all such dilligent posters! Here I sit, mulling over a post I'd like to make for a few days, and suddenly! 20 pages ahead of me.
But I do enjoy your stories, even though this weekend seemed a bit rough for a bunch of you. *hugs*
I have faith in your future happiness. You are all caring, honest and open. That may mean taking more punches, but it also means getting more hugs. *hugshugshugs*

When life gets me down, I like to watch & listen to this video, which is about sunset-coloured clouds and swords of glitter and horses on beaches - all set in a homoromantic friendship disco universe. It is also how the 80's would have looked if they had modern technology.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z21F39BCgUk

I have a bunch of stories that I would like to share. I think the main one is the one where I started receiving text messages from an unknown number. Apparently, this nice man has seen pictures of me somewhere on the internet and was so impressed by my beauty () and striking, feminine looks that he had to look me up on the yellow pages and tell me.
So we talk a bit, and he is somewhere in the genderloop (referring to himself as a crossdresser) who thinks I should do a lot of drag with him and who wants to buy me fabulous dresses so he can help me reach my potential.
Aside from the inherent creepiness that is strangers contacting you because they think you should dress up with them, I am mostly worried about the strong element of gift giving he keeps emphasizing. I never give gifts lightly, and I don't think I can receive them lightly either.
I am of course very flattered too, and as soon as he's been cleared by security, I am sure it will be interesting and maybe a friendship. (cleared by security means meeting him a few times in public in daylight and getting a last name from him.)

The other stories are mostly about dating young men in very tight shorts and how easy it is to impress them with kisses and pizza. Spring has certainly sprung.

[Lix Lorn]

I see plaid as a manly pattern because I associate it with lumberjacks.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay~♪

[Lea Plath]

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay~♪

You are making me hungry. *Chews Lix a little*

[KenderWizard]

Several people I know (who are cis) have had cosmetic surgeries (nose, liftings, breasts, etc...). They didn't really get demonized for these, although it's not a subject that pops up often either.
I don't think it's inherently wrong either, for the record.

It's a good example of microproblematic versus macroproblematic things.

If I, personally, hate my, say, tummy, and I feel uncomfortable with my tummy, or feel like it's important to me to change it, and I spend my money on surgery to do that, okay, it's a bit extreme, and maybe it was unnecessary. Hopefully someone along the line has checked that I'm stable about it and I don't seem likely to slide onto a body-hate surgery-binge, and I understand that having a non-chubby tummy won't magically solve all of life's problems for me, and also explained the risks inherent in any surgery to me in a way I understand. But I'm allowed, and well within my rights to spend my money on such a thing, and, as an individual, I've done nothing wrong.

But when, as a culture, there is a trend of healthy young people (or anyone else) feeling they need to undergo surgery to better conform to an unrealistic standard presented to us as an ideal every day, disproportionately but not exclusively women, then it's time to take a look at the cultural messages that tell people the way to be happy is to look sexually attractive and the way to achieve sexual attractiveness if you aren't born with it (or even if you are!) is to undergo unnecessary surgery.

Now, obviously there's a sliding scale in cosmetic-surgery land, from seemingly superficial problems (like, say, getting rid of normal aging wrinkles) to things that may not seem important to everyone but are very important to the person involved (including most cosmetic surgery that trans people opt for). I certainly wouldn't ban it, and I certainly don't think it's a bad thing that we have the near-magical power to change aspects of people's appearances that we can use for good. I'm just saying I think there would be less cosmetic surgery in a world that was less vicious about body image, and that that would be a positive thing.

I have a bunch of stories that I would like to share. I think the main one is the one where I started receiving text messages from an unknown number. Apparently, this nice man has seen pictures of me somewhere on the internet and was so impressed by my beauty () and striking, feminine looks that he had to look me up on the yellow pages and tell me.
So we talk a bit, and he is somewhere in the genderloop (referring to himself as a crossdresser) who thinks I should do a lot of drag with him and who wants to buy me fabulous dresses so he can help me reach my potential.
Aside from the inherent creepiness that is strangers contacting you because they think you should dress up with them, I am mostly worried about the strong element of gift giving he keeps emphasizing. I never give gifts lightly, and I don't think I can receive them lightly either.
I am of course very flattered too, and as soon as he's been cleared by security, I am sure it will be interesting and maybe a friendship. (cleared by security means meeting him a few times in public in daylight and getting a last name from him.)

Proceed with extreme caution! If it was me, I'd be blocking that number and double-extra-private-ing all my internets things, but if you're less concerned about creepy internet people, still be extra-super careful the first few times you see this person, if you choose to. Bring a friend, tell somewhere where you are and when you'll be back, meet in a public place with two exits so you can slip out if necessary, etc etc, you've heard all this before!

[Lix Lorn]

You are making me hungry. *Chews Lix a little*

Kinky. I'm 0kay with this.
May I ask whyyyyyyyy?

[Tonal Architect]

That, I get. The "funny" part is that out of all the times sex is involved, there's a very low percentage of acts made with the explicit intention to make babies.
To complete the example above, men are generally considered "trapped" if they get their partner pregnant. They're supposed to be the ones asking for that activity, but rarely seem to desire the biological consequences.
(...)

Reproduction was never the driving force behind sex, it's the other way around. Humans (and this is not exclusive to males) do not engage in sexual activity because they feel the urge to procreate, they do it either to relief sexual tension or to feel pleasure.

Was procreation an actual primary need built into our instincts, then you might have had a point, but that's not the case.

[Viera Champion]

My boyfriend doesn't know that there is a whole queer internet community following every step of our relationship.

[Carecalmo]

Proceed with extreme caution! ... etc etc, you've heard all this before!

Thanks for the warning words. I had most of the precautions planned, but didn't think to bring a friend. Must admit that I've never met any creepy internet people, so I am not too worried. Still, it pays to be prepared. But still. He's offering a day in the park in summer dresses at one point when I feel comfortable enough. Who can say no to goys and birls in summer dresses?

Regarding body modification:
I think it's a bit extreme how far it is taken these days, but I think the real culprit behind negative body images is found in the media - cosmetic surgery as such is mainly, I think, people expressing what they are shown to be ideals. But I don't think I can say anything else without going into politics.
I will, however, say that I spent a long time trying to convince my exboyfriend that it didn't bother him that I had no abs. "my belly is soft as a kitten's!". I mainly convinced myself that I was okay, and I guess that's the most important.

Also Shiro:
Everyone should have secret admirers. You guys have.. a bunch! :)

[Asta Kask]

My boyfriend doesn't know that there is a whole queer internet community following every step of our relationship.

Just wait until we start giving you helpful advice on how to get him in bed with you.

[Reluctance]

Aside from the inherent creepiness that is strangers contacting you because they think you should dress up with them, I am mostly worried about the strong element of gift giving he keeps emphasizing. I never give gifts lightly, and I don't think I can receive them lightly either.

I'm guessing the guy will be nice enough, but more than a little servile.

Spoiler

Show

This is sounding like something I have an eerily accurate sense for. Someone who gets off on feminization and submission. The gifts - "tribute" is the word used most often in the scene - are just his way of reinforcing the dynamic.

Odds are you'll be safe. As much as meeting any other internet stranger, at least. but it sounds like this is getting to the fetish end of the field.

Sharp: Out of curiosity, how old are you? It's nice to see another voice saying "we need to make things better, but we need to have a realistic understanding of human nature before we start mucking about".

[Frozen_Feet]

Hey, Frozen Feet! Is it just me, or did you disappear for a while? *Hugs*

I rarely post in these threads, so that may have given you the impression I've been gone. I did take something nearing a two weeks' break lately due to a new job, though.

[Lea Plath]

Just wait until we start giving you helpful advice on how to get him in bed with you.

My boyfriend doesn't know that there is a whole queer internet community following every step of our relationship.

May I suggest whipped cream, two dozen strawberries, cake batter and a watergun? :P

[Asta Kask]

The traditional Swedish way involves getting him drunk and shagging him on the veranda. Works for women as well.

[pffh]

May I suggest whipped cream, two dozen strawberries, cake batter and a watergun? :P

Make that chocolate covered strawberries.

It's times like these that I miss a certain ex. She had her own fondue set and usually had some strawberries and chocolate.

[KenderWizard]

My boyfriend doesn't know that there is a whole queer internet community following every step of our relationship.

That's so great! Your relationship is basically our equivalent of the "and on a lighter note" part of the news crossed with a soap.

Thanks for the warning words. I had most of the precautions planned, but didn't think to bring a friend. Must admit that I've never met any creepy internet people, so I am not too worried. Still, it pays to be prepared. But still. He's offering a day in the park in summer dresses at one point when I feel comfortable enough. Who can say no to goys and birls in summer dresses?

Sounds great. This could be a genuine birl (? goy? I'm confused by the terminology!) and it could be that you end up close friends having summertime fun. Just keep in mind your own safety, take reasonable precautions until you know him better and trust your instincts. Definitely worth it just on the off chance that he's not genuine. A friend who shows up with you (or "happens to be in the area!") and can scoot off or stick around - or distract him while you make a break for it - is worth their weight in gold for this stuff! And no shame in taking it slow; if this guy is decent, he'll understand you're justified in playing it safe. Good luck! I hope it works out great for you, however you play it.

Regarding body modification:
I think it's a bit extreme how far it is taken these days, but I think the real culprit behind negative body images is found in the media - cosmetic surgery as such is mainly, I think, people expressing what they are shown to be ideals. But I don't think I can say anything else without going into politics.
I will, however, say that I spent a long time trying to convince my exboyfriend that it didn't bother him that I had no abs. "my belly is soft as a kitten's!". I mainly convinced myself that I was okay, and I guess that's the most important.

I agree!

[Mono Vertigo]

It's a good example of microproblematic versus macroproblematic things.

If I, personally, hate my, say, tummy, and I feel uncomfortable with my tummy, or feel like it's important to me to change it, and I spend my money on surgery to do that, okay, it's a bit extreme, and maybe it was unnecessary. Hopefully someone along the line has checked that I'm stable about it and I don't seem likely to slide onto a body-hate surgery-binge, and I understand that having a non-chubby tummy won't magically solve all of life's problems for me, and also explained the risks inherent in any surgery to me in a way I understand. But I'm allowed, and well within my rights to spend my money on such a thing, and, as an individual, I've done nothing wrong.

But when, as a culture, there is a trend of healthy young people (or anyone else) feeling they need to undergo surgery to better conform to an unrealistic standard presented to us as an ideal every day, disproportionately but not exclusively women, then it's time to take a look at the cultural messages that tell people the way to be happy is to look sexually attractive and the way to achieve sexual attractiveness if you aren't born with it (or even if you are!) is to undergo unnecessary surgery.

Now, obviously there's a sliding scale in cosmetic-surgery land, from seemingly superficial problems (like, say, getting rid of normal aging wrinkles) to things that may not seem important to everyone but are very important to the person involved (including most cosmetic surgery that trans people opt for). I certainly wouldn't ban it, and I certainly don't think it's a bad thing that we have the near-magical power to change aspects of people's appearances that we can use for good. I'm just saying I think there would be less cosmetic surgery in a world that was less vicious about body image, and that that would be a positive thing.

Well, thanks for expressing perfectly what I was thinking, but didn't post, due to lack of time! I should just go on holidays, and you'll contribute to discussions in my name. That would even improve the general quality of my posting.


So... we got the tickets for Lady Gaga. If he doesn't squeal like an excited puppy at the concert, something will be wrong.

[Lea Plath]

Kinky. I'm 0kay with this.
May I ask whyyyyyyyy?

Because the lumberjack song :<

[Triscuitable]

You are making me hungry. *Chews Lix a little*

You are making me hungry. *Chews Lix a little*

You are making me hungry. *Chews Lix a little*

It's a good example of microproblematic versus macroproblematic things.

If I, personally, hate my, say, tummy, and I feel uncomfortable with my tummy, or feel like it's important to me to change it, and I spend my money on surgery to do that, okay, it's a bit extreme, and maybe it was unnecessary. Hopefully someone along the line has checked that I'm stable about it and I don't seem likely to slide onto a body-hate surgery-binge, and I understand that having a non-chubby tummy won't magically solve all of life's problems for me, and also explained the risks inherent in any surgery to me in a way I understand. But I'm allowed, and well within my rights to spend my money on such a thing, and, as an individual, I've done nothing wrong.

But when, as a culture, there is a trend of healthy young people (or anyone else) feeling they need to undergo surgery to better conform to an unrealistic standard presented to us as an ideal every day, disproportionately but not exclusively women, then it's time to take a look at the cultural messages that tell people the way to be happy is to look sexually attractive and the way to achieve sexual attractiveness if you aren't born with it (or even if you are!) is to undergo unnecessary surgery.

Now, obviously there's a sliding scale in cosmetic-surgery land, from seemingly superficial problems (like, say, getting rid of normal aging wrinkles) to things that may not seem important to everyone but are very important to the person involved (including most cosmetic surgery that trans people opt for). I certainly wouldn't ban it, and I certainly don't think it's a bad thing that we have the near-magical power to change aspects of people's appearances that we can use for good. I'm just saying I think there would be less cosmetic surgery in a world that was less vicious about body image, and that that would be a positive thing.



Proceed with extreme caution! If it was me, I'd be blocking that number and double-extra-private-ing all my internets things, but if you're less concerned about creepy internet people, still be extra-super careful the first few times you see this person, if you choose to. Bring a friend, tell somewhere where you are and when you'll be back, meet in a public place with two exits so you can slip out if necessary, etc etc, you've heard all this before!

C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

[Lix Lorn]

Because the lumberjack song :<

So... singing the lumberjack song makes Trilby nibble me in a flirty way?

♪ I sleep all night and I work all day~
I cut down trees, I eat mah lunch,
I go the lavatory
On wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!~♪

[Selpharia]

Chorus (if I remember it right)

♪ She's a lumberjack and She's OK
She sleeps all night and She works all day~
She cuts down trees, She eats her lunch,
She goes to the lavatory
On Wednesdays she goes shoppin', and has buttered scones for tea!~♪

[Lea Plath]

So... singing the lumberjack song makes Trilby nibble me in a flirty way?

♪ I sleep all night and I work all day~
I cut down trees, I eat mah lunch,
I go the lavatory
On wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!~♪

SCONES! SCONES! SCONES! *Bites Lix hard*

and please, Lea >.>

[Arachu]

Just wait until we start giving you helpful advice on how to get him in bed with you.

That wasn't creepy at all. ^_^

May I suggest whipped cream, two dozen strawberries, cake batter and a watergun? :P

Or just whipped cream, loaded in a watergun?

The traditional Swedish way involves getting him drunk and shagging him on the veranda. Works for women as well.

Reminds me of the American method.

... Minus blaring Journey from your car.

So... singing the lumberjack song makes Trilby nibble me in a flirty way?

♪ I sleep all night and I work all day~
I cut down trees, I eat mah lunch,
I go the lavatory
On wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea!~♪

... *Also nibbles* >.>


~Bianca

[Triscuitable]

Or just whipped cream, loaded in a watergun?

~Bianca

WHOA that wasn't subtle at all.

[Lix Lorn]

I am being nibbled by two pretties.

This is good for my state of mind.

♪~I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowarrs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars~! ♪

[Heliomance]

No, you couldn't do it with whipped cream /once it's whipped, it's not liquid - it wouldn't spurt. I mean squirt.

[Arachu]

WHOA that wasn't subtle at all.

... Only now do I think of what sounded like. DXD


~Bianca

[The Succubus]

This thread has taught me more about the mechanics of whipped cream in foreplay than I could possibly wish to know.

And I used to such a shy and innocent flower before I started hanging around here....