Cart of Gophers: Possible uses?

[rewinn]

They're going into a desert wilderness. Surely a wheeled container of cute little furry rodents would have a thousand uses ...

Such as?

[FoE]

Emergency rations?

Gifts for a crazy gopher-worshiping desert tribe?

[Malkar Grumbo]

Food for Mr. Scruffy.

[Scarlet Knight]

Living Q-tips for giants?

[Blue Ghost]

Whatever the Bag of Tricks was used for.

[Mystic Muse]

a one comic joke?

[Pyron]

Prophecy Fulfillment.

Hey, Belkar has to die somehow.

[DOOMBOT9000]

New entry in the crack pairing thread?

[The Recreator]

Impromptu map makers? Or perhaps make a map with the gophers?

[Edwin]

Considering the sheer mass of gophers, and the fact that they're burrowing, I say that they could be used for make-shift tunnel drilling, and to some decent effect, too!

That always comes in handy, you know.

[Kish]

Problem with trail of breadcrumbs: Birds eat them. This was enough to leave Hansel and Gretel stranded.
Problem with trail of live rodentia: They get bored and leave, probably before you've gotten out of sight.

[Herald Alberich]

Don't forget the wagon of chinchillas. When the members of the Order are inspired by the desert scenery to get in touch with their artistic sides, all that fur is going to come in handy for paintbrushes.

[shadzar]

-Queen sized beds.

-TP

-wigs for Belkar

-whack-a-gopher

-gopher bowling

-gopher tennis

Spoiler

Show

great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts...

I forgot my spoon!

[Raging Gene Ray]

Cross breed them with the wagon of chinchillas to breed the most fierce monster since the Owlbear: the Chinchopher!

Problem with trail of live rodentia: They get bored and leave, probably before you've gotten out of sight.

Belkar can take care of that problem...of course, than everyone will need a way to drown out Elan's crying.

The poor rat!

[Liwen]

Train them to use knives and make a fortune out of gophers sparing matches?

Cast V's special animal sending spell on them to keep in touch with the azurites. I know from empirical evidence they can swim for... some time. I wonder if V's spell gives the animal unmatched stamina, because the birds she selected don't usually cross oceans. Tropical birds don't migrate.

Or they could always use Durkon's sending...

By gophers are more original

They could also use them for trap detection. I used to do that with Celestial Monkey summons. This made for an hilarious debate of alignment If you want to read the debate, click the spoiler tag I've placed here, because that parenthesis is way too long not to feel out of place otherwise.

Spoiler

Show

DM : You are of good alignment, you shouldn't be using them as guinea pigs.

Me : But our rogue totally ****s at finding traps. Beside they just get back to their plane of existence like 4 rounds sooner, what's the big trouble?

DM : Your making them suffer.

Me : In combat I use them as diversions to let us time to flee! Their are MONKEYS, do you truly expect them to help in any other way?

DM : No actually, but can't you use a spell like detect traps or something? It would be more in character.

Me : My character is chaotic good AND a sorcerer. Meaning, I do things in more original ways and I have such a limited selection of spells I must select those that are more versatile. Detect trap can't be used as a meat shield.

DM : so your making innocent creatures feel extreme to build an artistic licence out of your way of using spells AND because of an totally unfair and dis-balanced class design flaw?

Me : Sort off yeah.

DM : Man, I feel your pain, but your still nudging toward neutral alignment everytime you send your monkeys to certain death.

Me : Certain death? It wouldn't be certain if you weren't placing a trap on EVERY door, treasure chest AND wardrobe.

DM : I've only started to place that many traps when you guys went out on that looting spree to steal 'adventuring assets' in every house in town!

Rogue player : My rogue may have poor disable trap skills, but he's the King of locking piking and move silently and the next level, he'll be the King of trap deactivation too!

DM : curse your 14 skills points per level... I'm going to have to pick traps from the epic tab.

Me : Hence the monkeys

DM : Do you know how many explosive poison darts can fit in a door knob?

Me : I did say MonkeyS

DM : Infinite, their are summoned out of magic.

Barbarian player : Guess I'll have to bash the door out then and let the darts hit the back wall.

DM : There's an EPIC radius of explosion of those darts.

Me : I'll train the monkeys to catch and eat them, since they pop out the moment their are death, the explosion should warp with them back to the celestial realms.

Rogue player : Sounds like a risky bet, do we have contingency?

Me : The Monkey's entrails will dampen enough of the explosion's velocity to keep it out of range, we could also dig a giant hole facing the door

Rogue Player : Yeah that might be better.

Random Half crazy player : Fireworks!

DM : I hate you all, but feel free to try.

[danielmayer]

Belkar offers them at the altar of orthodox Banjo!
More smite!

[Athaniar]

To start a Gopher-Chinchilla war, of course.

[Turkish Delight]

New entry in the crack pairing thread?

Does the entire gopher cart count, or must the squicky relationship be between an individual gopher and some other character? I'll be interested to see.

[whitelaughter]

A number of spells (eg Sleep, Circle of Death) affect a limited number of Hit Dice, and start with the weakest creatures present. Possessing a Cart of Gophers would render the Order immune to these spells until the gophers were killed.

[Trobby]

Two words: Moral Support.

: It's not so bad out here in the desert, as long as I've got my little Gopher friends to keep me company!
: So...what are we going to do with the Chinchillas?
: Well, Mr. Scruffy needs rations too...
:Indeed. And it will be a long time before Blackwing will have any other creature to feed upon.
: Black who?

[DOOMBOT9000]

Does the entire gopher cart count, or must the squicky relationship be between an individual gopher and some other character? I'll be interested to see.

Unless it is with a similarly sized creature, i.e. Blackwing or lizard V, I say in for a penny in for a pound, kind of like the whole hobgoblin army. Brain bleach is a must.

[Malkar Grumbo]

Train them to use knives and make a fortune out of gophers sparing matches?

Cast V's special animal sending spell on them to keep in touch with the azurites. I know from empirical evidence they can swim for... some time. I wonder if V's spell gives the animal unmatched stamina, because the birds she selected don't usually cross oceans. Tropical birds don't migrate.

Or they could always use Durkon's sending...

By gophers are more original

They could also use them for trap detection. I used to do that with Celestial Monkey summons. This made for an hilarious debate of alignment If you want to read the debate, click the spoiler tag I've placed here, because that parenthesis is way too long not to feel out of place otherwise.

Spoiler

Show

DM : You are of good alignment, you shouldn't be using them as guinea pigs.

Me : But our rogue totally ****s at finding traps. Beside they just get back to their plane of existence like 4 rounds sooner, what's the big trouble?

DM : Your making them suffer.

Me : In combat I use them as diversions to let us time to flee! Their are MONKEYS, do you truly expect them to help in any other way?

DM : No actually, but can't you use a spell like detect traps or something? It would be more in character.

Me : My character is chaotic good AND a sorcerer. Meaning, I do things in more original ways and I have such a limited selection of spells I must select those that are more versatile. Detect trap can't be used as a meat shield.

DM : so your making innocent creatures feel extreme to build an artistic licence out of your way of using spells AND because of an totally unfair and dis-balanced class design flaw?

Me : Sort off yeah.

DM : Man, I feel your pain, but your still nudging toward neutral alignment everytime you send your monkeys to certain death.

Me : Certain death? It wouldn't be certain if you weren't placing a trap on EVERY door, treasure chest AND wardrobe.

DM : I've only started to place that many traps when you guys went out on that looting spree to steal 'adventuring assets' in every house in town!

Rogue player : My rogue may have poor disable trap skills, but he's the King of locking piking and move silently and the next level, he'll be the King of trap deactivation too!

DM : curse your 14 skills points per level... I'm going to have to pick traps from the epic tab.

Me : Hence the monkeys

DM : Do you know how many explosive poison darts can fit in a door knob?

Me : I did say MonkeyS

DM : Infinite, their are summoned out of magic.

Barbarian player : Guess I'll have to bash the door out then and let the darts hit the back wall.

DM : There's an EPIC radius of explosion of those darts.

Me : I'll train the monkeys to catch and eat them, since they pop out the moment their are death, the explosion should warp with them back to the celestial realms.

Rogue player : Sounds like a risky bet, do we have contingency?

Me : The Monkey's entrails will dampen enough of the explosion's velocity to keep it out of range, we could also dig a giant hole facing the door

Rogue Player : Yeah that might be better.

Random Half crazy player : Fireworks!

DM : I hate you all, but feel free to try.

That was the funniest thing I've read today, kudos! Also you are right, if the DM didn't want the needless monkey slaughter, he shouldn't have set up so many traps.

[Zanaril]

Two words: Moral Support.

: It's not so bad out here in the desert, as long as I've got my little Gopher friends to keep me company!
: So...what are we going to do with the Chinchillas?
: Well, Mr. Scruffy needs rations too...
:Indeed. And it will be a long time before Blackwing will have any other creature to feed upon.
: Black who?

I suddenly imagined V being a vampire. It was hilarious.

[Malkar Grumbo]

I suddenly imagined V being a vampire. It was hilarious.

Soul splice V looks a lot like a vampire, so maybe that's why... I just had a mental image of V biting the neck of his/her mate, whose name escapes me at the moment.

[One Skunk Todd]

Cross breed them with the wagon of chinchillas to breed the most fierce monster since the Owlbear: the Chinchopher!

I prefer Gochilla! 600 foot tall radioactive fire breathing... rodent. Of course it would almost be obligated to go back and destroy Azure City. :)

Or maybe Roy could replenish his magic bag of worthless small animals.

[Zanaril]

Soul splice V looks a lot like a vampire, so maybe that's why... I just had a mental image of V biting the neck of his/her mate, whose name escapes me at the moment.

It was hilarious becase it was basically Soul Spliced V and Blackwing both drinking blood from gophers.

[silvadel]

Revenge for V charming the muskrat.

[shadzar]

Elan will start a rockband with the gophers called, and made from Chinchilla Lace... a pretty face, and a pony tail, a-hangin' down....Oh baby that's-a what I like!

[Tundar]

Food or a distraction for MitD?

[Trobby]

It was hilarious becase it was basically Soul Spliced V and Blackwing both drinking blood from gophers.

: Is that Gouda? Damn that's tasty...