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2009-09-17, 12:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
But... Xykon is also evil. And he and his army invaded and destroyed her city with an army of hobgoblins, something she believed Shojo was doing in conjunction with the Order. I don't see Miko saying "yeah, you're evil, but these guys are also evil, so I will side with you to destroy this other evil, even though I believed the two of you were working together to destroy everything I cared about" because I see Miko as the kind of person to instead conclude that the two sides would be trying to destroy everything she holds dear independently of each other rather than working together (so she'd still oppose them both). Furthermore, she "knows" Team Evil has a stated goal of bringing about the apocalypse (in reality it's either enslave the world or blackmail the gods), given their interactions in the Watchtower. Even for a crazy person, she's more likely to conclude "I must fight everyone" than "these people whom I distrusted and opposed initially are actually the good guys/lesser of two evils and therefore I will work for them", unless mind control is involved. Miko is not the kind of person who sees "the lesser of two evils".
She goddamn well saw the leader of her order, Lord Soon, fighting Team Evil. Even with her insanity, she likely would associate that with "These People Are Bad".Last edited by MReav; 2009-09-17 at 12:42 PM.
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2009-09-17, 01:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
1: I never actually stated what was going on inside her head, only what she said out loud.
2: Again, there will be a plot device to help Miko see from their point of view. I can't see what it is, because its part of a bigger joke.
3: I said there would be jokes about the plot holes, too. I realize this story isn't perfect, so rather than destroy my brain and end up canning the project altogether, I'm going to poke fun at it.
4: Crack fic.
I appreciate your opinion, and I don't argue that in OotS canon, this story would be completely illogical and very unlikely. You have very strong points, which I admit I cannot argue against. But I'm trying to write a comedy here, dude. Please cut me some slack...
Also, I notice a distinct lack of crack fics as of late, except for the interesting tale of Haley and Blackwing and a really well-drawn picture of some elves and a horrified drow. Where's the insanity, people?Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-17, 01:38 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2005
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- Montreal
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2009-09-17, 01:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
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- Alabama
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
You want insanity? YOU WANT INSANITY?! Well here!!
Spoiler
CREATE GREATER UNDEAD. Heh. Wait until that angry guy with the greenhilt sword sees this!! Hey, undead chick. Behold your master!
(As an undead) Xykon! *Glomps him*
* and have undead/lich makeout*
Hell, I'm thinking of making that my next crack-fic. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!Last edited by Belkster11; 2009-09-17 at 01:43 PM.
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2009-09-17, 01:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Fair enough.
Now, here's a quick crack pairing I never got around to doing. Its short, but its better than not having anything to read at all.
The Eye of Fear and Flame x Haley (Maid Outfit)
Spoiler
"THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!!!!" The Eye of Fear and Flame screamed out in terror as Haley, with a sick grin on her face, tried to shove him into a French Maid Outfit.
Thank you, and have a nice day.
Edit: Ninja'd, and by an oddly similar pairing. How... quaint.Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-09-17 at 01:44 PM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-17, 02:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
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- A nice, sparkly place.
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
I'm not going to continue the Inkyrius and Haley story (atleast not right now) so I rolled up another pair. Now to incorporate it to the present formatting.
Spoiler"This is Lien, we made it to Kraagor's gate. Just checking up with a sending spell. O-chul didn't enjoy the ride. So what's been happening?"
"Thanks for update, Lien. I just recieved word that Roy has made it to the western continent. Nothing much's been happening. I'll keep you informed."
"Whew, this 25-word thing isn't as easy as it looks."
"No sir, lord Hinjo, but you did a remarkable job though."
"Thank you, you may go now."
"Thank you, sir. I actually have been requested to visit Kazumi and Diago for a checkup on their heir." The cleric leaves.
"So it begins..." mumbles Hinjo to himself. He looks out at the night sky from his personal quarters. He didn't know what time it was, but there was nothing else to do today. Lifting himself off his chair, he goes and changes into his night clothes. He eases himself into bed, blows out the candles, and settles in to a deep sleep.
He was standing on an island in the middle of the ocean. Waves were rolling onto the beach, spraying seawater onto his face. The rustle of leaves from the trees were heard over head. For some reason, Hinjo felt happy and no longer stressed. He stood there, enjoying to scene, when he heard a faint sniff behind him. He turns and see's, looking at him with a sad expression, Miko.
"Oh... Miko... what's..*Ahem* What's wrong?"
"Um... Hi, Hinjo. I... I hope I'm not intruding."
"No, not at all. Though what are you doing here, I thought you were dead."
This seemed to upset Miko more. "I-I am dead."
"Oh..." Hinjo stood there feeling like an idiot. What was he supposed to say? She's psycopathic, yet here she is crying.
"I... I-I want to s-say I'm, s-sorry about everything that's happened, Hinjo."
"What?"
"Yes. Everything. Killing your uncle Shojo, nearly killing you, destroying the gate, getting O-Chul imprisoned, everything."
"Ummm..." Was this really Miko? "Uh.. why are you apologizing now? You didn't listen to reason when you were alive."
"Because I didn't know any better!" Wailed Miko sinking to the ground. "I thought all this time that the Order of the Stick were evil and they corrupted you." She puts her face in her hands. "It wasn't until after I was in the afterlife that I finally understood what was happening. Soon showed me what happened during the battle, how even the Halfling risked his life to save you."
"Did he? I didn't know." Hinjo starts approaching Miko.
"Yes, I thought they were evil because they lied about killing Xykon. But Soon explained to me that they didn't know about liches phlactery's yet. I just saw him and was ready to assume that they were working for him. Maybe that's why I believed his lies about them working for him so easily..."
Hinjo kneels down and puts an arm around Miko. "It's alright, bluff is a sorceror class skill. And with their charisma, it's hard to use sense motive on them."
"But I didn't even use sense motive on him. I instantly believed him."
"Oh, Miko." Hinjo shakes his head disapprovingly. "What were you think?"
"I told you, I wasn't." Miko lifts her head out of he hands. "I was just ready to believe him." She curls up around his chest.
"There, there. It's alright. We got through it in the end. You still haven't answered my question on why your here."
"I've been watching what's been happening to you guys from above. All the hardships with Kubota and everything. I've been begging for months to come back as a ghost, but Soon wouldn't let me. He finally gave me this one time to enter your dream and apologize."
"Well, then I forgive you for what's been done."
She looks up at him. "Really?"
"Yes, I do. Everyone makes mistakes Miko. Not even the Saphire Guard is impervious. Considering what Xykon did to them."
Miko wipes away her tears. "Thank you. Knowing that, I can rest easier in the afterlife. Though it's funny I was the stronger of both of us yet your still alive."
"Ya, though that was probably because of my position. Atleast I don't have to hear my uncle keep going on about finding me a girl."
"I always kind of hoped it would be me."
Hinjo looks down at her. "Really?"
"Ya. But I was more into honor and the oath that I took little time to acknowldge it."
"Well... honor has no real value in dreams right? Maybe we can do this right."
"Ya." Miko shifts and hugs Hinjo who returns the embrace. "This will be my parting present and good luck." She kisses him on the lips.
After a while, their lips part. "Maybe we need to do a little more... just to increase the good luck."
Miko grins. "Okay..." She starts to undress. "Ready or not, here I come."
What do you think?
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2009-09-17, 02:44 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
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- Germany
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
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2009-09-17, 03:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- U.K
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
OMG, OMG, OMG!
*dies of the cuteness*
*comes back to life just to grab V and Roy and hug them*
It's perfect! V's poor sad little face, and Roy's worried expression, and oh, you even put in the handkerchief!
Quite apart from my hyper fangirl-squee, the poses and facial expressions are really good, and I honestly think it's probably the best version of Roy I've ever seen you do. Thank you so much, I love it!
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2009-09-17, 03:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2009
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- On the Internets
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2009-09-17, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2007
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- U.K
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
*makes a noise so high-pitched that it is audible only to bats, hedgehogs, and Belkar*
AIEEEE! Thank you so much, it's adorable! And it's lovely to see them both looking so happy Hmm, I had thought it was just a one-shot when I finished it, but perhaps I will have to write some more, if only to justify the wonderful artwork...
Seriously, thank you both so much, I feel very spoilt right now!
Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
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2009-09-17, 05:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
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2009-09-17, 05:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
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2009-09-17, 05:15 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Alpha Cenetarie
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Hi Ive never made crack before so this one may suck.
Ok Time to roll... CeliaXVaausarvis with High heels and black leather Ok..
Spoiler
Vaasaurvis was in his room about to trance, when suddenly Celia came in. "Umm hello... why are you in High heels and black leather ?" asked Vaausarvis. "Oh No reason..." Celia said, then quickley yelled "Dominate Person!" "Wait wha..." But before vaausarvis could answer The elf fell under her spell.
"you are loyal to me and me only! "Understand?" Celia Comanded, "yes Misstres" the elf replied "good How about we go some where... private" "yes Misstres" the elf replied. The thing Celia didnt know was... that the spell had failed.
...Please dont Ban meLast edited by Kirby; 2009-09-17 at 06:20 PM.
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2009-09-17, 05:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
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- Alabama
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Can I have a banner made for my now finished Elan/Roy fic? Pretty please?
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2009-09-17, 05:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
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2009-09-17, 05:27 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Alpha Cenetarie
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2009-09-17, 05:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
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2009-09-17, 05:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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2009-09-17, 05:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-09-17 at 05:57 PM.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-17, 05:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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2009-09-17, 06:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2008
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2009-09-17, 06:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2008
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- UK
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
I'm not entirely sure how well this one turned out but I think it has potential as a series...
SpoilerMiko continued her journey, the grey clouds in the sky mirroring her own mood. It seemed as though her meeting with Roy and the Order of the Stick had placed a curse upon her life. Before, she had been a shining example to the paladins of Azure City, never failing in her missions to bring the wicked and corrupt to righteous justice. Now, she was alone, abandoned by her former colleagues and even her gods – all that was left for her was revenge. Miko cast her mind back to the fateful deal she had made and the price it had cost....
********
“You...you came back...”
“Yes.”
“Have you come here to attack me again? Because quite frankly it was a pain in the neck last time.”
“Cease your foolishness. I have not sought you out for that reason.”
“Then why?”
“I...require the aid you suggested in the dungeon.”
“Oh wow, you mean you want to become a-”
“Yes. I seek bloody vengeance upon the Order of the Stick but as I currently am, I would be swiftly defeated should I try to face them.”
“Well honey...you came to the right girl,” said Sabine, with a wink.
*********
The temple loomed above them. Once, Miko would have found the building a source of inspiration and power, its ornate depictions of the Twelve Gods soothing her soul and renewing her determination. Now, it merely seemed hollow and empty.
“There are several ways to become a Blackguard. One is to murder a number of innocent people but I don't think you're up for that...”
“While I hate the Order of the Stick with every fibre of my being, I see no reason to drag civilians into our conflict.”
“Whatever. The other way is to defile a holy sanctuary.”
“How on earth would we do that?”
By way of reply, Sabine simply smiled and walked over to a large stone altar. The altar was surrounded by very small statuettes of the Twelve Gods and one in particular caught her attention. She beckoned Miko over and began to undress her. Sabine then made Miko lay down on the altar as she reached for a statuette of the Serpent God, with its long, straight body and smooth round head....
**********
As she recalled the blasphemous acts they had performed together and the dark words spoken by Sabine in the fiendish tongue, Miko was surprised to find the memories did not disturb her. All she could remember as the ritual reached its climax was a burning fire spreading throughout her body before descending into a dark pit of oblivion. When she came to, she was alone. Gone was her uniform of the Sapphire Guard, replaced instead by strange armour made of tight fitting leather and a sword with a blade as black as midnight. She quickly left the temple, anxious not to be discovered and began the long journey in her quest for justice.
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2009-09-17, 06:52 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Interesting story Silverraptor. Of course, my interpretation of Miko is someone too proud to admit her mistakes and too strong to cry no matter the circumstances, but this was a good read.
MasamuneSSX, your story is good too, looking forward to more.
I wish I had as much inspiration as all of you. I still am blocked on my MikoxVaarsuvius and TsukikoxJirix stories.
(Funky Goose, I believe the RoyxVaarsuvius banner is too big for the forums.)Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-17, 07:25 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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2009-09-17, 07:27 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Xykon reanimated her as a Death Knight.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-17, 07:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jun 2009
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- Minnesota, ya?
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2009-09-17, 07:42 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- It would break your mind.
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
I have a quick question. Can an undead be a Blackguard? And if not, is there an alternative. Because I have an undead Miko and I need it to be a type of undead warrior, but I am full of the dumb and have no idea what it could be.
I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 9
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 12
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 11
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2009-09-17, 07:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
@ Silverrapter: Pretty cool story. I thought it was just going to be cutesy, and then the ending proved me wrong.
@ Kaytare: THAT IS AWESOME!! You made Roy look so COOL!! Sweetness!
@ Kirby: Both of yours were pretty good. Short, sweet, and to the point.
@ MasamuneSSX: That was... interesting. Very well written, too. Should be interesting to see as a series...
Where'd all these Miko stories suddenly come from?! XD
Speaking of which, I'm about to start work on Chapter 2 now that I've got it all planned out. Should be up at some point this evening...
Edit:
@ Malkar Grumbo: Ahem... Death Knight?Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-09-17 at 07:43 PM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-17, 07:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
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- It would break your mind.
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-17 at 07:47 PM.
I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 9
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 12
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 11
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2009-09-17, 07:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Okay Wow
SpoilerXykon had been watching the Monster in the Darkness trying to figure out this... this emotion he felt when he saw it. He had never felt it before but he... liked this feeling yet he felt it was... a hungering for something, then it struck him "Lust!" Huh? The Monster in the Darkness had heard Xykon. Lust!!! Must... Have Xykon started towerds the Monster in the Darkness with his arms out streched Whats going on? No NO GET AWAY!!! RED CLOAK!!! *wimper*