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Thread: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
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2009-08-12, 07:11 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
That wasn't a guess, that was who I was writing about. If I was guessing, it would probably be the overpriced apples girl, and someone else.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-08-12, 07:13 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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- Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Oh, pardon. You have one of them down by that, though! *hands cookie*
Edit: I fixed the spelling too. Thanks for the tip.Last edited by Weimann; 2009-08-12 at 07:40 AM.
Quoth the raven, "Polly wants a cracker."
Pony avatar by the Great and Powerful DirtyTabs. Lotsa hugs!
Scourge Caste avatar by the illustrious Akrim.elf. Thank you!
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2009-08-12, 07:51 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2009
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- Near St Andews, Scotland.
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by TheBibliophile; 2009-08-12 at 07:54 AM.
Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.
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2009-08-12, 08:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-08-12, 08:30 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
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- Vancouver BC
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Here, I'm done my story, I hope it's OK. It describes what could have happened to Durkon in Azure city if he had regretted turning down Hilgya:
SpoilerDurkon stormed off to his bed, upset at Vaarsivius’s stubborn attitude. Naturally, he was beginning to be upset about other things too, with emotions welling up inside him, he had a flashback:
Durkon sighed, letting the views of Azure city enter his saddened brain, nobody ever seemed to consider his emotions at all, however, he knew this was not for no reason;
He had only one romantic encounter on this adventure, and nobody ever witnessed that except him and Hilgya (as far as he knew). He was starting to regret his choice, turning down Hilgyas love only due to Dwarven tradition. Who was he to say that Dwarven culture was more important than love? But then, he thought; Maybe it wasn’t too late!Maybe he could include an apology letter to Hilgya with the letter to the high priest that was about to delivered!! At that moment, Durkon ran as fast as he could with short legs and Heavy armor to Lord Shojo, eventually, he saw O-Chul, who let him in, and a tired but still cheery Shojo greeted him:
“*Wheeze* Shojo-*Gasp* Please *Cough* send this wit’ my message? Please.”
Lord Shojo thought about this quickly, and soon, he came to his conclusion:
” Very well, Durkon. I will gladly send this attached letter to the Dwarven lands with my messenger.”
Tears of joy began welling up in Durkon’s eyes:
“Thank ye, Lord Shojo.
He soon returned to the inn where they were staying, it was now very late, and stars dotted the sky.
Far later, Hilgyas letter, as well as the High priests, were abandoned by a hurrying Miko, Hilgyas read:
Dear Durkon,
You hurt me so much that night, you made me cry and cry. I thought I would never feel love again, but I was wrong; When you apologized to me, tears of joy came to my eyes.
Oh Durkon, I love you, and I want to be with you forever. When you return from your mission, you can see our child, I named him Durkon too. Also, Ivan is dead, he was crushed when a tunnel collapsed on him. Durkon, I want to be with you forever.
Love,
Hilgya Firehelm.
But it, along with the high priests letter, was consumed. And Durkon never saw it, so here he thought that neither had said yes, and tears trickled down his beard as he finally fell asleep.
It's short, but I hope you liked it. It's also more romantic than I think this thread might have been intended to be, but fear not; VxSabine is approaching.
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2009-08-12, 08:33 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Actually, no such thing. Shipping = romance. Well, also sex, as shown by the majority of fics here (my own included, cough), but romance is the better part of shipping outside of this thread. Assuming you don't count the fanservice threads.
So in short, don't worry about being too romantic, there's no such thing.
Also, this made me lol. No offense to you, but it did.Last edited by The Dark Fiddler; 2009-08-12 at 08:35 AM.
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-08-12, 08:36 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
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- Vancouver BC
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by waterpenguin43; 2009-08-12 at 08:36 AM.
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2009-08-12, 08:47 AM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I just love the "oh, yeah, by the way" feeling Ivan's death has.
This promises much angst though. Durkon strikes me as the type to blame himself for his death (then again, Durkon also strikes me as the type not to write this letter to Hilgya anyway solely out of respect for her husband, or write to him to tell him the truth because he thinks he both needs and deserves to know).
And too romantic? Did you read Zanaril's story?Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-08-12, 09:18 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
As far as I'm concerned, DurkonxHilgya is a crack pairing, it's just one that happens to be in the comic.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-12, 09:56 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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- Sweden
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Originally Posted by TheBibliophile
I feel that couple can be made more with. I shall see what can be done.Quoth the raven, "Polly wants a cracker."
Pony avatar by the Great and Powerful DirtyTabs. Lotsa hugs!
Scourge Caste avatar by the illustrious Akrim.elf. Thank you!
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2009-08-12, 11:05 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2008
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- Germany.
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2009-08-12, 11:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Next section, I'll probably add some more later, too.
Spoiler"What are you doing here?!"
Zz'dtri looked up from his ale and scowled. "Drinking. What are you doing?"
"Trying to come up with a way of convincing Vaarsuvius that any relationship with you is a bad idea." Haley said glaring at him
"Don't remember asking your opinion." He muttered, then resumed staring into his drink.
"I'm V's friend, I'm not going to sit around and let this happen. V's married you know."
"I know"
"And has a loving family."
"Had."
"...What?" Haley stared at him.
Zz'dtri looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't tell you?" He smirked.
"What's happened to V's family?!"
"If you weren't told, there was a reason. I won't say."
Haley though over this silently for a few minutes before speaking again. "Fine then. Tell me what in the world led you to meeting again, much less not trying to kill each other."
"Got arrested by the lawyers and put in the same cell as me. I apologized for before. We talked." He paused to take a swig of ale. "Managed to escape together and went our separate ways, until now. That's it."
"And V confided in you about something important but didn't tell me?" Haley said incredulously.
"Needed to tell someone, I suppose."
"And what about you?"
"About me?"
"What happened to the whole 'Evil opposite' thing? Why the change of heart?"
The drow looked away. "Was just lonely, ok? No one cared about me before. Was just shunned, assumed to be evil."
"You're not evil?"
"Well, not that much." He said with slight smirk.
"Then why'd you join Nale's group?"
He shrugged. "Only one who would hire me."
"Oh. Still, why V?"
"I told you. Only person in a long time who has cared about me, who will stay with me. I needed a friend."
Haley frowned. "But you're more than a friend to V."
He shrugged "V already had friends. Suppose I had to be something more."
Haley was still frowning slightly. Then she sighed and stood up, leaving her drink half finished on the counter. "I think I need to talk to V." She paused, halfway to the door, and looked back. "Er... bye." She said, before continuing out into the street.
That was oddly tricky to write.Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-12 at 11:46 AM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-12, 12:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2009
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- Near St Andews, Scotland.
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by TheBibliophile; 2009-08-12 at 12:18 PM.
Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.
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2009-08-12, 12:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Lexington, VA
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Rolls:
d6: 3 OotS Lightweight Table, d20: 9 O'Chul
AND
d6: 6 ErfWorld Units Table, d20: 3 Archon
Wholy crap! How am I going to pull this off with a paladin?!?!
Good Gaming!
-Jay
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2009-08-12, 01:16 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
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- Germany.
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2009-08-12, 01:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-12, 01:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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- Portland
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Seeing as I don't have dice and a crappy internet which can't handle the dice roller, I've decided to just pull a pairing put of a hat. Which results in... One sided Jirix on Redcloak action!
Spoiler
Jirix sighed. It had been a long day. After being ressurected by Redcloak that morning, or whatever time it was under that gods awful rift, he had spent hours trying to locate an object that was probably at the bottom of the ocean by then. He wondered how he could possibly have gotten into this mess... He supposed that it started when Redcloak had taken over. This was an uncommon occurance, a goblin taking over a hobgoblin tribe, but he had gotten used to it by then, as had most of the troops. He had started out as a common, low level cleric, but after the battle, he'd earned enough xp to attract the attention of Redcloak. Soon after becoming his pupil, he began to interact with his leader socially as well. Soon, Redcloak was all he thought about. Day and night, a fiery passion for his leader commanded control of his mind. But Redcloak didn't have time for anything but the gates by then. And so, Jirix had decided. He had to talk to Redcloak, tell him how he had grown to love a goblin that had once been only been a leader to him, and now was his sole reason to live.
If people like this one, I'll make chapter two soon!Give a man a match, keep him warm for a minute. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for the rest of his life.
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2009-08-12, 01:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
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- Germany.
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
If your still up for making banners a XykonxMiko banner would be awesome!!!
I vote for chapter 2, looks like it could get good.
I rolled
1st try 4,20,3,9 (Initial)
Xykon
Celia
Nale
...
2nd try 3,7
Celia
Monster in The Dark
...
3rd try 6,16
Vaarsuvius
Diago
...Someone MUST to write this.Last edited by xelliea; 2009-08-12 at 02:07 PM.
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2009-08-12, 02:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
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- Oneonta Alabama
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I so want one of those sigs about this thread. Could someone do VxCrystal
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2009-08-12, 02:22 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-12 at 02:23 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-12, 02:36 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I love the sigs, Zanaril.
I've always wanted to make an image randomizer, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity, so I've put all of the signature images into one. Randomizers, if anyone is not familiar with them, change the image every time (or almost every time) the image gets loaded.
Try refreshing a few times, it should be changing.
Here's the code for it which will link to the thread, if anyone wants to use it:
[URL="http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111631"][img]http://a.random-image.net/lira/crackpairings.jpg[/img][/URL]Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
...............................................
Come visit the Discussion Thread Index II.
Looking for a new webcomic to read? Take a look at the Webcomic List.
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2009-08-12, 02:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
- Location
- Minnesota
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Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Could you possibly do a Belkar and pregnant Mr. Scruffy banner?
I'm writing part two to this story right now...
Heh heh....
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2009-08-12, 02:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Germany.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
This is a bit late, but here is a quick table i made mostly of the things that i have not seen in this thread:(there maybe some spoilers)
1 Mother black dragon's reanimated head.
2 Soul spliced V.
3 Sick belkar.
4 Pit fiend.
5 Shapechanged(dragon) V.
6 Frog Xykon.
7 The oracle's lizardmen.
8 Lizard V.
9 Vampire Roy.
10 15 year old Haley.
11 Mummy Roy.
12 Elan/Nale's mother
13 Elan/Nale's father
14 Haley's father
15 Lien's shark (not sure of it's name)
16 The tiger sent to the gods befor Argent.
17 Dirt farmer.
18 Genderswitch.
19 Re-roll twice.
20 Re-roll.
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2009-08-12, 02:50 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-12 at 02:52 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-12, 02:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-08-12, 02:58 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Germany.
- Gender
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2009-08-12, 03:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
- Location
- Lexington, VA
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Here it is!
WARNING: NOT FOR YOUNGSTERS!!
Spoiler
He awoke slowly, his eyes staying shut longer than usual to block out the bright light of his surroundings. The ground beneath him was soft and comfortable with just the right amount of give to keep him mildly unconscious by choice. With a broad yawn he stretched out his tired limbs... they still ached faintly from all these nights on the hard floo...
THE BARS ARE GONE! It struck him immediately and he was on his feet, heading for anexit from this blasted tower. O'Chul knew he would only get one shot at this escape...
The place where he stood was no longer the wretched tower in which Xykon had held him captive for all this time, instead the stone blocks were replaced by fluffy white clouds. The air here was clear rather than moldy and smelled faintly of lilacs, which reminded O'Chul of his younger days. The brilliant light of this place was hard to acclimate to after all of this time spent under the faint lights of the tower.
It became clear to him what had occured. He had expired. A slight smile crossed overhis lips as he came to fully understand. He whispered to himself, "This must be..."
"Heaven." A soft voice answered from behind him. O'Chul turned to see a faint light hovering several yards behind him. As he watched it grew vertically like a pillar and widened breifly to allow a figure to step through. It was a woman, a lady to be more specific. Her form was compact and trim beneath the light blue buisiness suit which allowed for just a hint of the girl's natural curves. Her blond hair was cut short beneath her matching garrison hat and tucked back behind her ears.
O'Chul smiled as he knew he was about to enter paradise and receive his reward for a life lived serving the gods. This girl was cute and her swagger carried an air of confidence, matched with her smile which expressed a familiarity and genuine affection.
O'Chul grined as she walked to him, as he let his eyes take in this heavenly beauty he asked, "Which would make you an angel?"
The girl laughed coyly as she stood across from him and took his hand in her own. She raised his hand up and began to kiss it and answered, "You can call me that if you like..." As she game to a scar that ran across the back of his hand she let a few tears fall from her perfect almond shaped brown eyes. As the tears fell upon his hand the scar washed away like it was just a smudge on his skin. O'chul was stunned and astonished and... moved. This beautiful girl didn't know him but as she ministered to his forearm it felt like she wept over the pain he felt from each of those wounds, as if she was there... always there... for his entire life.
By the time she had worked her way to his bicep he was overwhelmed and his heart felt like it was straining against his chest, ready to explode. Tears streamed down his face as he curled around her and he softly placed a kiss on the back of her neck. They intertwined as she worked over the rest of his body, restoring the skin and removing all sign of his struggles in the mortal realm.
She looked up at him after she had finished, "How do you feel O'Chul?" Her eyes were still wet with tears that she slowly wiped away on a delicate napkin she retrieved from a pocket. Other than that she was perfect, not even a redness to her eyes after all of that work.
O'Chul looked over his fresh form and smiled like a boy many years younger. "Darling, you've refreshed me to a point where I barely recognize myself..." He rotated an arm, expecting to feel like a young man again but his muscles were still sore and the socket of his shoulder still had that slight grind he began to develop a few years back. He looked away from her not wishing to offend after such a miraculous work, "Honestly... I still *feel* old on the inside."
When he looked back to her he found her smiling with an impish grin. The way she slithered closer to him make O'Chul rigid like a board. She stated, with more than a little enthusiam, "Just wait til you see how we rejuvinate the body..." and with that she pounced on him, locking lips with the man as they both fell into the cloudy floor.
Covered by the clouds, giggling and kissing sounds could be heard from beneath the little pile of clouds they had covered themselves with. Her hat and popped out to lay on the clouds next to them. The buisiness suit quickly followed after. Occasional suggestions from O'Chul to "slow down" or "take it easy" were met with a giggly "Don't be so stiff old man!", which would bring them both to laughter.
After some quiet moments there was a giggle followed by a gasp. The girl's voice could quietly be heard commenting, "Well, this can stay stiff..." followed by a groan from O'Chul and once again... mixed laughter. She remarked, "Mr. Stiffly" and there was even more laughter. The two of them rolled through the clouds like youngsters used to roll in a haystack... kissing, carressing, grinding the whole way. It was better than anything O'Chul had ever imagined. Every sacrifice seemed worth it as he experienced the first of his many rewards.
His attention was called back to the moment as the girl was envigorated with energy. She was writhing against him and whispered, "Give me Mr. Stiffly..." O'Chul perked an eyebrow and asked, "Again?" She just bit her bottom lip and nodded. To motivate him she pushed aside some of the cloud so O'Chul could enjoy a good view of her.
O'Chul grinned broadly and said, "Here comes Mr. Stiffly!" before pouncing on her once again. She began moaning, "Oh Mr. Stiffly..." as they rolled through the clouds. At one point she began to buck and thrash against his body while crying out "Mr. Stiffly! Mr. Stiffly!", she then pulled him to her and as she quivered she screamed in his ear so loud it made him wince, "MR. STIFFLY!" but her voice seemed different this time.
O'Chul rubbed his crusty eyes, which had a hard time opening. He wiped some drool from the corners of his mouth and looked around. Caged... back in the tower... again. O'Chul just rubbed his head as he rolled back against the bars. Monster-san was saying something about fearing that he had died in his sleep. O'Chul just shook his head and looked up through a small window high in the tower. Seeing a single cloud he smiled, "Soon darling... soon."
Critiques/Comments welcome.
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2009-08-12, 03:01 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
I think it's [this] one, by Ninjamuffin.
(Umm, is it wrong that I had that image in my bookmarks? :P)Credits to half-halfling for my adorable avatar.
...............................................
Come visit the Discussion Thread Index II.
Looking for a new webcomic to read? Take a look at the Webcomic List.
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2009-08-12, 03:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-08-12 at 03:03 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-08-12, 03:05 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2008
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- Germany.
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