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Thread: Most absurd superhero?
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2013-02-10, 08:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2005
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- SW England
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Most absurd superhero?
There are a lot of really stupid superpowers (particular among minor villains).
But to my mind (and excluding one-off joke characters, like all the would-be members of the Legion of Superheroes) the most totaly but for me, the most totaly insane, impossible to take seriously, what-were-they-smoking-when-they-came-up-with-that-idea superhero has got to be: B'wana Beast, with "the power to combine animals".
Can anyone think of anyone worse? (We should probably restrict it to ones intended to be taken seriously as characters, not deliberate jokes/parodies, advertising mascots, or propoganda).
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2013-02-10, 10:35 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2005
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- Toronto, Canada
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
I would go with the wonders of Doc Samson, the man who was a super-powered badass as long as no one cut his luxurious, gamma-irradiated hair.
(Apparently at some point they removed that weakness, but that's kind of a shame because it was freaking hilarious and also now his superhero name is totally meaningless.)If you like my thoughts, you'll love my writing. Visit me at www.mishahandman.com.
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2013-02-10, 10:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Hat man. The man who gets the powers of whatever hat he wears. I don't remember where its from, but its a long distant memory of mine.
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2013-02-10, 10:44 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
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- right behind you
Re: Most absurd superhero?
The Question? Im sure I am missing a lot, but from what I have gathered, his entire "superpower" is being able to find conspiracies in the most obscure of places, and making connections as fast as batman.
"Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"
Translation: "Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe."
"If you don't get those cameras out of my face, I'm gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that'll clear this room."
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2013-02-10, 11:04 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Nah. He is just a fun nutter. Its not a superpower as much as it his his character.
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2013-02-10, 12:22 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2012
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- Franconia
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
The Black Condor had the ability to fly because he was raised by condors. In Mongolia.
But it gets worse than that. Just look at Arm Fall Off Boy: his ony power was removing his arms to use them as clubs.
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2013-02-10, 12:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2011
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- Copenhagen
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
Superman, hands down. Not only is he an unforgivable Mary Sue, but his list of retarded super powers is almost endless, they just write something new in every week. Even in the modern versions where they try to clean him up some, he just gets all his powers balled up into "god". Its ridiculous.
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2013-02-10, 12:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Re: Most absurd superhero?
While I will be the first one to go saying that Supes needs to have his abilities toned down a lot, this isn't remotely true outside of the Silver Age, and maybe All-Star Superman.
In any case, most absurd that I remember, Flannelman, the guys from Mystery Men. That kid whose bodies development is stuck in time so while he can theoretically never get killed, he's stuck as a fat, weak, 13 year old for all eternity, and nothing he does can change that. The Dogwelder, fights crime by welding dogs to villains faces, I'm not sure if that's a superpower or just a sociopath though. There was one guy who was stuck being a corpse, not a walking corpse, but to actually have his consciousness stuck in a random decaying body.
As for the Question. No he has no superpowers other than being unbelievably awesome (or depending on the writer a lunatic spouting whatever philosophical garbage the writer happens to agree with. But personally I prefer the unbelievably awesome version of the character).
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2013-02-10, 12:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2012
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- Franconia
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2013-02-10, 12:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2008
- Location
- Orlando, FL
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
Squirrel Girl? She tends to get used in the most comical situations just for pure parody.
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2013-02-10, 01:34 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Well not normally Cosmic Boy had a turn as easily the most absurd superhero in true Legion fashion:
Spoiler
Yes this is a real costume.
No gouging your eyes out won't help you saw it, you can't UN-see it
Also not a hero but an honorably mention for Stilt-Man. Who is about what you'd imagine.
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2013-02-10, 01:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2007
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- Derby, UK
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
Well, while not a hero, as such (well, completely the opposite), surely we must mention Snowflame, from the New Men (or NuMen? I dunno)? Who got his superpowers for cocaine (and who has been immortalised by Atop the Forth Wall for not only being utterly ridiculous but hammy enough to nearly be on a par with Adam West Batman villains, or the silver age at it's best...!)
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2013-02-10, 02:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
- Location
- Poland
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
Siela Tempo by the talented Kasanip. Tengu by myself.
Spoiler
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2013-02-10, 02:23 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2008
Re: Most absurd superhero?
It was just an aside for a comic I read a long time ago. I think it was a parody-ish of X-Men emphasizing how the powers given are random and many are detrimental. But it's been a long time since I've read it, I'm not sure how much of the above is accurate, but I do remember Dead-Man.
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2013-02-10, 02:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Last edited by Ravens_cry; 2013-02-10 at 02:46 PM.
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2013-02-10, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2010
- Location
- right behind you
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Cant help but imagine this after seeing that picture. Sexy!
"Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"
Translation: "Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe."
"If you don't get those cameras out of my face, I'm gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that'll clear this room."
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2013-02-10, 04:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
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2013-02-10, 04:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Well its off topic but since you brought it up.... Its off topic because its not absurd, not because Emporio Ivankov isn't a superhero. Its just One Piece.
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2013-02-10, 04:45 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Do anime characters count? And for that matter, what about Axe Cop?
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2013-02-10, 07:12 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Mar 2010
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Re: Most absurd superhero?
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2013-02-10, 07:21 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Aug 2009
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2013-02-10, 07:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
Re: Most absurd superhero?
You're thinking of the Quiz.
And Grant Morrison already knows. Since he, you know, created her.
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2013-02-11, 12:04 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2011
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- Dromund Kaas
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2013-02-11, 12:10 AM (ISO 8601)
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- Jan 2013
- Location
- New Jersey, USA
- Gender
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Imagine an African woman, who is a Caucasian with long, blonde hair for some reason. When the jungle is threatened (usually by some poachers), her face becomes a skull. She keeps her blonde hair for some reason. Her skin seems to become grey, as drawing a skeleton would be too taxing on the terrible author.
In this form, she is now essentially omnipotent. She uses this omnipotence to find a circuitous path to beating the bad guys who don't have any powers whatsoever. During the last page of her stories, she decides to subject the villains to absurdly macabre yet creative punishments that make no sense.
Fantomah is incredibly weird. It's terrible in every way, but it's far less fun than an Ed Wood film. She is, unbelievably, probably the first female superhero. She was also used in Hack Slash, an indie action girl/porn comic.
Maybe I should no have informed you of this all.
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2013-02-11, 12:14 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
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2013-02-11, 08:55 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
Re: Most absurd superhero?
I'd say Marvel comics the Beyonder was pretty absurd, I mean this guy was like a bad self-insert fanfic, he was literally an omnipotent being from another dimension, or a parallel reality with a consciousness, or a mutated inhuman depending on which random backstory you went with.
This guy could literally do whatever he wanted, he decided he wanted a bunch of marvel characters to fight for his amusement so just plucked them from various places in the universe and created a planet for them to fight on. One of them was Galactus, yes that galactus.
He once decided he wanted to be a superhero, but had no concept of actually being a human being, simple things like what's edible and what's not, why mind-controlling the entire planet is a bad idea, yes that's everyone on the planet, professor X, magneto in his mind-control-immune helmet, everyone.
The Beyonder was essentially a child playing with toys but in his imagination, and that is why he is the most absurd superhero, and one of my favourite characters
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2013-02-11, 11:11 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- ??Ph??
Re: Most absurd superhero?
(Well it's not like they came up with that particular idea in the first place.)
*Watch the article*
... The Brotherhood of Dada ?
Bwahahaha, okay that villain makes a lot more sense in that context.
Also,on the subject, wasn't there a batman villain who was 'Polka dot man' ?Last edited by smuchmuch; 2013-02-11 at 11:13 AM.
I'm sig'ing in the rain, just sig'ing in the rain....
Somme old avatars, by meSpoiler
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2013-02-11, 12:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
Re: Most absurd superhero?
I'm still going with Axe Cop for the most absurd superheroes:
Spoiler
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2013-02-11, 01:04 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
Re: Most absurd superhero?
I'm pretty certain I still have this comic book somewhere."Okay, so I'm going to quick draw and dual wield these one-pound caltrops as improvised weapons..."
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"Oh, hey, look! Blue Eyes Black Lotus!" "Wait what, do you sacrifice a mana to the... Does it like, summon a... What would that card even do!?" "Oh, it's got a four-energy attack. Completely unviable in actual play, so don't worry about it."
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2013-02-11, 01:09 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Germany
Re: Most absurd superhero?
Bein uneducated, I would say Superman. He's just rediculous.
We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.
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