Things I May No Longer Do While Playing X: Bard is not a valid choice

[2D8HP]

*May not picket the Mages Guild with a "Wizards are Jerks!" sign.
**The worm in your throat, and before that a fly in your throat are not proof that you were Polymorphed, that was a bottle of mescal not a "potion of healing!
***Fine, if you feel your PC is now "tainted" you can make a new one, but for the last time don't name the PC "Studly McAwesome with Awesome next to the Awesome that's on top of the Awesome!
****"Roland d'Crits while better is still no!
*****Yes you can make a half-elf barbarian in 5e D&D, but the PC's "Personality Trait", "Ideal", "Bond", and "Flaw" can not all be "Lookin' for Ale, Gold, and Wenches"!
******It doesn't matter that it's "classic"!
*******PC's "Personality Trait", "Ideal", "Bond", and "Flaw" can not all be "Lookin' for Wine, Gems, and fit strapping youths" either!
********May not make the DM blush when asked to explain!
*********PC's "Personality Trait", "Ideal", "Bond", and "Flaw" can not all be "Gettin' with pointy eared hotties!
**********PC's "Personality Trait", "Ideal", "Bond", and "Flaw" can Gnot (cut that out!) not all be "Makin' half-Gnomes"!
************"Burrowaphilia is Gnot (I told you about that already!) not "totally a thing"!
*sigh*
*************Yes you can have a human Ranger PC with an Elvish name.
***************G't'b'nt'y'u'bearded'fatso is not an Elvish translation of "Summer Rainshower"!

[goto124]

*************Yes you can have a human Ranger PC with an Elvish name.
***************G't'b'nt'y'u'bearded'fatso is not an Elvish translation of "Summer Rainshower"!

**************** Summer Rainshower is not the name of an MLP pegasus.

[Anonymouswizard]

* There is no Love domain.
** Cannot play a Cleric of the elven god of love.
*** There is no Summon Wedding spell and I may not memorise it.
**** I may under no circumstances weaponise it.

[goto124]

* There is no 'dirty' context in which I can say "and that's why it's so important to have a healer in the party!"

[Anonymouswizard]

* May not shoot the tiefling for being a demon.
** Even if the goblins who destroyed my home were into demon summoning.

* Hill dwarves do not differ that much from mountain dwarves.
** The difference is not 'mountain dwarf women have beards, hill dwarf women only have luxurious sideburns'.
*** Hill dwarves do not classify living outside as 'building a house underneath the rocky outcropping'.

[Wookieetank]

***No longer allowed to describe tortures that I made up.
****If a player, IRL, curls up into a fetal position and plugs their ears if I say the words, 'Torture chamber, rotten bananas,' or 'remember the potato thing?,' I will not be allowed to describe things anymore.

*Using a cheese grater to create eunuchs while properly horrifying for a torture method, makes the other players ill.

* There is no 'dirty' context in which I can say "and that's why it's so important to have a healer in the party!"

**We're taking the bard into Succubus territory might count though.

[Rater202]

*Christopher Lee man, with the power to asume the skills and abillities of any three characters played by the late Sir Christopher Lee, is banned as a Superhero.

[2D8HP]

*Sir Sean Connery as played by Darrell Hammond on "Celebrity Jeopardy" man
With the power to really, really annoy the GM is banned completely, totally, forevermore!

[Anonymouswizard]

* There are no situations where seduction is a suitable replacement for Weapon Proficiency: Knife.

[Socksy]

* None of the Beast Shape line of spells allow me to take the form of a teddy bear.

[Black Socks]

Due to recent events involving my halfling bard, the party monk, the ruler of a powerful city-state, a string of high rolls, and the last slice of pizza, the players and DM have agreed that I may never again play a character with proficiency in Deception.

[Recherché]

*The name of the spell is “Baleful Polymorph” not “Save vs Bunny”
**Or “Save vs Goldfish”
*No matter what I refluff “Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion” is not a spell I can cast
*Its ”Dimension Door” not “Screw You I’m Going Home”
*I do not get to rename spells anymore
**Even if my new names are more technically accurate

[Anonymouswizard]

*The name of the spell is “Baleful Polymorph” not “Save vs Bunny”
**Or “Save vs Goldfish”
*No matter what I refluff “Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion” is not a spell I can cast
*Its ”Dimension Door” not “Screw You I’m Going Home”
*I do not get to rename spells anymore
**Even if my new names are more technically accurate

* It's 'Fabricate', not 'Save versus Inflation'.
** May no longer cut a deal with the smith's guild before using Fabricate for a quick buck.

For what it's worth, the above assumes the logical case of only a few skilled armoursmith's per city, which means that everyone is using one of them to obtain and repair their armour. This leads to one of two paths:
-if the guild agrees you sell decent (but not great) suits of plate at a few hundred each, enough so there's not too many entering circulation but you can afford your latest scheme. The armoursmiths then have more armour to repair.
-otherwise you sell the suits to the guild at up to 750gp, allowing the guild to make 100% profit (at least) on every one of the suits they sell on to someone, or otherwise sell through the guild. You both win and you aren't driving them out of business.

[DigoDragon]

* At no point should the city burn to the ground as a result of building an aqueduct.

[Madbox]

* At no point should the city burn to the ground as a result of building an aqueduct.

**At no point should the city burn to the ground as a result of any player actions

Although it is fun. Couple of Grease spells here and there, someone going nuts with the Bag of Tricks, knock down a few walls with stone to earth...

[ElFi]

**At no point should the city burn to the ground as a result of any player actions

Although it is fun. Couple of Grease spells here and there, someone going nuts with the Bag of Tricks, knock down a few walls with stone to earth...

*** "Let's burn it down" is not an appropriate response to the DM saying "you come upon a city/town/village/hamlet".
**** It can be an appropriate response to the BBEG's fortress, but only if said fortress is actually flammable.

* When designing a character for a oneshot where the main challenge is getting through a laboratory tricked-out with death traps to find and kill the BBEG, may not make a character who can remotely cause brain hemorrhages.
** Or teleport people without touching them.
*** Or control machines.
**** Or do anything related to intangibility.
***** Or be immune to Fortitude saves.
****** May no longer participate in oneshots with any form of pre-obtained knowledge.

[Dire Roc]

*I may no longer have nigh unbeatable social skills at level 3.
** I may no longer take the Orator feat.
*** No city guard should have to beat a DC 50 anything.
**** I may no longer play a Vigilante.

*I may no longer play an inquisitor of 'murica.
** I may no longer play a cleric of 'murica.
*** I may no longer use firearm rules
**** I may no longer use firearms, the freedom subdomain, bald eagle animal companions or the colors red, white and blue.
***** I can't play a cleric of communism either.

[Recherché]

***** I can't play a cleric of communism either.

*I may not play a paladin of communism
**Or socialism for that matter
***My paladin cannot be atheist
**** I may not make a paladin code based around hippie flower power, social justice or anarcho-syndicalism
***** The DM will start throwing books at me if I use my training in marxist philosophies to make any of the above actually make sense,
******Das Kapital is not a holy book under any circumstances

[Illven]

***My paladin cannot be atheist

I really hope this is a joke.

[Recherché]

I really hope this is a joke.

Uhm nope. Explaining Joan's full belief system and version of the paladin code would probably violate forum rules regarding real life politics and religion but to sum up some of the important bits: She believes the gods may or may not exist. If they do exist they are unhelpful self serving bastards who are undeserving of worship. She does however well and truly believe in the cause of socialism. She's a paladin of an ideal, same idea as a cleric of an ideal. On a side note there's a running joke in the campaign that while J might not believe in the gods, they believe in her and they're perfectly willing to use her as a tool to further the causes of Good.

[goto124]

***My paladin cannot be atheist

**** Cannot point out there're already paladins of concepts, and 5e DnD has the Oath-based paladins which don't depend on gods.
***** Cannot attempt to backtrack on the bit about 5e.

* There is no cowcolt named High Noon.
** Stop there, before you're ripping off recent computer games.
*** Cannot do similar things with everypony.
**** Great, now you have an entire crossover between a show and an MMO FPS.
***** FO:E was bad enough.

[illyahr]

*I may not play a paladin of communism
**Or socialism for that matter
***My paladin cannot be atheist
**** I may not make a paladin code based around hippie flower power, social justice or anarcho-syndicalism
***** The DM will start throwing books at me if I use my training in marxist philosophies to make any of the above actually make sense,
******Das Kapital is not a holy book under any circumstances

In 3rd ed, Paladins were powered by their belief in Law and Good, not by gods. You could totally have an atheist Paladin.

Paladin of Freedom is also a thing in 3rd ed.

[Illven]

In 3rd ed, Paladins were powered by their belief in Law and Good, not by gods. You could totally have an atheist Paladin.

Paladin of Freedom is also a thing in 3rd ed.

Hence my concern.

[GrayGriffin]

* I cannot describe my character as "the embodiment of the '*flips tray of brownies at PTA* fight me Helen' meme"
** I also cannot describe my other character as "the embodiment of the 'i'll kick anyone's ass. i'll kick your ass. i'll kick your dog's ass. i'll kick my own ass' meme"

[Erth16]

*Just because they think they can, doesn't mean the chosen ones can fight.
**I should not allow them to be near fights.
***I should not take pot shots at chosen ones while they walk in circles on the battlefield eating glue.
****I am not to get the chosen ones stranded atop a mountain in the desert, then leave them there.
*****If the chosen ones start wandering off into a random mountain range in search of ponies, I should attempt to stop them.
******I should not give the axe with a 30% chance to kill the wielder upon a successful attack to the chosen ones.
*******I should not steal the chosen one's mount after he finally found it as a level 11 cavalier.

*I am not to treat the holy axe of my dynasty as a throwing shield.
**Challenging a man named Ares, who is known to kill everyone who he fights, to a duel over his bow is a bad idea.
***Just because the wimp we fought earlier happened to be a king, doesn't mean the king described as the most fearsome warrior alive several times throughout the campaign is also a pushover.
****I should not challenge him to one on one combat by champions to decide an entire war.
*****Especially if we are betting the chosen ones.
******Seriously, we didn't even have to fight this guy.

*Why do the rest of you want to go to war against them now, but wanted to surrender before you were all decimated in single combat?

*When everyone else has powers like control gravity, or control energy, my only power should not be to turn into a talking handgun.
**I should say things other than "I don't have any strong feelings one way or the other," every now and then.
***I can fight for justice, but I should stop shouting it every time I'm fired.

[Socksy]

* When designing a character for a oneshot where the main challenge is getting through a laboratory tricked-out with death traps to find and kill the BBEG, may not make a character who can remotely cause brain hemorrhages.
** Or teleport people without touching them.
*** Or control machines.
**** Or do anything related to intangibility.
***** Or be immune to Fortitude saves.
****** May no longer participate in oneshots with any form of pre-obtained knowledge.

Mutants and Masterminds, by any chance?


* Yes, the entire player party are Saiyans. No, this does not make us the PC Master Race.

[ElFi]

Mutants and Masterminds, by any chance?

Yep!

* If my IC character is perfectly fine with fighting in a war for extremely thin reasons, I should probably stop pointing out OOC all of the problems and logical inconsistencies that said war contains.
** Especially considering I'm playing a Lawful Neutral character.

[goto124]

* If my IC character is perfectly fine with fighting in a war for extremely thin reasons, I should probably stop pointing out OOC all of the problems and logical inconsistencies that said war contains.
** Especially considering I'm playing a Lawful Neutral character.

*** May not insist that's the only right way to play a war.

[Anonymouswizard]

*** May not insist that's the only right way to play a war.

**** May not insist there must be a left way to play a war.

[Madbox]

**** May not insist there must be a left way to play a war.

***** May not insist that war is a 3 axis space, and that there is an up way and a down way to play a war.