Now That's What I Call... Mer-aculous Hangtime!

[AstralFire]

Also known as: Ariel, the Little Monster Truck Derbymaid.

The (wo)Man:

The Plan: To achieve long duration, low altitude jump with something that has a base land speed of 5 feet, while wearing nothing more than a shell bikini (ow, the chafing).

Panama:

• Merfolk Ninja 6, Sorcerer 1, Swordsage 3, Exemplar 1, both ability ups in Str
• 17 PB Ability Scores: 18 Str, 10 Dex, 10 Con, 8 Int, 8 Wis, 11 Cha
• Feats: Skill Focus (Jump) (+3), Athletic (+2), Practiced Spellcaster, Practiced Spellcaster
• Skills: Tumble 5, Jump 14, Spellcraft 4, no one cares about the rest
• Penalties: -12 for being slower than 30 ft. speed.
• Total jump bonus: +10 (Tiger Claw Stance), +6 (Ninja), +5 (feats), +4 (Exemplar), +5 Str, +30 (Jump spell), +2 Synergy, +14 Ranks
• Average Jump Distance: 70 feet.

Rules That I Am Hurting:

Staggered: A character whose nonlethal damage exactly equals his current hit points is staggered. A staggered character may take a single move action or standard action each round (but not both, nor can she take full-round actions).

A character whose current hit points exceed his nonlethal damage is no longer staggered; a character whose nonlethal damage exceeds his hit points becomes unconscious.

On Action for a Jump: None. A Jump check is included in your movement, so it is part of a move action. If you run out of movement mid-jump, your next action (either on this turn or, if necessary, on your next turn) must be a move action to complete the jump.

How It Works:

• Ariel realizes that she's about to abandon everything she ever knew and loved to live with a man in a completely different culture on the basis of his looks and little else. :(
• Ariel begins to slam her head into the wall repeatedly. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
• Once she's rather woozy and taken a lot of subdual/nonlethal damage, Ariel takes out a knife sized for a baby and cuts herself until she is staggered. Stupid!
• Ariel gets back her mermaid fins. It's Evil OctoMagic. Don't question it.
• Ariel realizes that she cannot actually reach the water from where she is, but thanks to her NINJA TRAINING she can probably make a jump for it.
• Ariel jumps the 70 feet. But she can only move 5 feet as a move action, and she only gets one move action a round.
• It will take Ariel 14 rounds, or a minute and twenty-four seconds, to land after she begins her jump; she will have traveled a space equivalent to a semi-truck with two trailers.

What else has a huge hangtime in the air after leaping over tractor trailers? That's right! Monster trucks.

I'm not really sure where I was going with this.

Mer-aculous Hangtime! ha-ha-HA!

[Moriato]

But.. a 70ft jump without a 20ft running start is dc 140....

Running is a full-round action and being staggered she can only take a move or a standard.

[AstralFire]

But.. a 70ft jump without a 20ft running start is dc 140....

Running is a full-round action and being staggered she can only take a move or a standard.

Ah! The Ninja and the Swordsage stance both take care of that! Let you take jumps as if you always had a running start.

[quick_comment]

If the little crab guy is a marshall, he can use an aura to boost her jump check

[Blue Ghost]

Intriguing. So have you thought of where you're going with this yet?

[AstralFire]

If the little crab guy is a marshall, he can use an aura to boost her jump check

Sebastian is definitely a bard.

Inspire Competence optimization?

Intriguing. So have you thought of where you're going with this yet?

It is going places. Down.

Under the sea.

[quick_comment]

Sebastian is definitely a bard.

Inspire Competence optimization?

Words of creation, masterwork instrument, some spell in complete adventurer

[Myshlaevsky]

Flounder could potentially be a Marshall though. He provides a bit of morale reinforcement, IIRC.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

AstralFire, have I ever told you how much I love you? Not in a particularly creepy way, but anyone who'll do something like this, draw such a ridiculous conclusion and then (and this is important) not know why they did it is someone who I can relate to. This is amazing.

[AstralFire]

AstralFire, have I ever told you how much I love you? Not in a particularly creepy way, but anyone who'll do something like this, draw such a ridiculous conclusion and then (and this is important) not know why they did it is someone who I can relate to. This is amazing.

-high fives-

Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

-high fives-

Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Speaking of which, she needs a wand of Major Image to give her the visual appearance of a monster truck.

[Milskidasith]

This is really, really awesome.

[HamsterOfTheGod]

<snip>cool stuff<snip>I'm not really sure where I was going with this.

Nice job. Obviously the big finish to some D&D epic performance of Under the Sea.

[Thrawn183]

So if this counted as strenuous action, then she'd drop to negatives.

Which means that if she didn't stabilize while in mid-air, she'd die before she hit the ground?

[Blue Ghost]

So if this counted as strenuous action, then she'd drop to negatives.

Which means that if she didn't stabilize while in mid-air, she'd die before she hit the ground?

You don't lose HP when you're staggered because of nonlethal damage. But what would happen if Ariel was actually at 0 hp when she attempted this? She would fall unconscious and not be able to complete her jump, so would she drop to the ground or stay in midair indefinitely?

[Skorj]

Surely there's some condition that reduces move by 5', leaving her hanging indefinitely?

[ZeroNumerous]

Surely there's some condition that reduces move by 5', leaving her hanging indefinitely?

Technically carrying double her maximum load would reduce her move speed to 5 feet per full round action. Meaning she cannot complete her jump ever.

[The Mentalist]

Astral you're a genius.

[quick_comment]

Technically carrying double her maximum load would reduce her move speed to 5 feet per full round action. Meaning she cannot complete her jump ever.

Combine this with dimension jumper (to let you teleport as an MEA), and you have the wierdest form of flight ever

[AstralFire]

Speaking of which, she needs a wand of Major Image to give her the visual appearance of a monster truck.

Hmm. Is there any gold-only method to dropping a spell trigger item to swift? That way she can cast it in mid-air.

This is really, really awesome.

Nice job. Obviously the big finish to some D&D epic performance of Under the Sea.

The XP is always phatter
In somebody else's plane
You dream about shifting o'er there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the loot around you
Right here on this dungeon floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

If you want more XP
If you want more XP
Darling it's faster
To avoid Lord Hastur
And the rest of Carceri
Out at Baator you'll scream in pain
And lose a level when you're slain
While we be coastin'
Making the mostin'
Off orc XP!

You don't lose HP when you're staggered because of nonlethal damage. But what would happen if Ariel was actually at 0 hp when she attempted this? She would fall unconscious and not be able to complete her jump, so would she drop to the ground or stay in midair indefinitely?

So... Schrodinger's Ninja Mermaid? @ZeroNumerous, the trick is to get her strength that low mid-jump. I know there's a ray that drops your strength to 1, but I can't seem to find it right now.

[Kiren]

What about seagulls? Get enough seagulls, and even if you can't fly, you will get a momentary glide on every jump.

[Haven]

The XP is always phatter
In somebody else's plane
You dream about shifting o'er there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the loot around you
Right here on this dungeon floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

If you want more XP
If you want more XP
Darling it's faster
To avoid Lord Hastur
And the rest of Carceri
Out at Baator you'll scream in pain
And lose a level when you're slain
While we be coastin'
Making the mostin'
Off orc XP!

This thread is genius.

[HamsterOfTheGod]

The XP is always phatter
In somebody else's plane
You dream about shifting o'er there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the loot around you
Right here on this dungeon floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

If you want more XP
If you want more XP
Darling it's faster
To avoid Lord Hastur
And the rest of Carceri
Out at Baator you'll scream in pain
And lose a level when you're slain
While we be coastin'
Making the mostin'
Off orc XP!

Well I'll be a guppy...that was Brilliant!