Dragonprime's Dynamically Dangerous Dextrous and Destructive Random Banter #118

[Fredthefighter]

A clearer wording is needed regarding the daughters. Suppose they don't want any bodily contact without permission. Fair enough. But what about when they try to brutally murder you with a hacksaw? Should you ask 'please' before delivering the right hook to the jaw?

Yeah, sounds like it needs re-wording.

As for me, I find brutal hacksaw murder to be a bit of a turn-off.

I think most of us do. (Including me)

[A Rainy Knight]

I think most of us do. (Including me)

There are certain websites that you need to avoid, then.

The ones looking for your credit card information, of course. You don't want that at all. No siree. Not at all.

[Fredthefighter]

There are certain websites that you need to avoid, then.

The ones looking for your credit card information, of course. You don't want that at all. No siree. Not at all.

Oh yeah, those websites

(Just kidding people)

[The Rose Dragon]

The difference between a dominatrix and a dentist:

The dominatrix you go to for fun, the dentist you go to for health.

Also, dentists can be male while dominatrix is by definition female.

[DraPrime]

So I just went down to the local driving school and took the written exam needed for a license. I passed with ease in about 15 minutes after not studying at all. Some of the possible answers to one of the questions was "run the pedestrian over." Naturally, I picked that one. It amused the guy who grades the test, so he let me pick the real answer.

[Fredthefighter]

So I just went down to the local driving school and took the written exam needed for a license. I passed with ease in about 15 minutes after not studying at all. Some of the possible answers to one of the questions was "run the pedestrian over." Naturally, I picked that one. It amused the guy who grades the test, so he let me pick the real answer.

That's lucky. Very lucky indeed.

[Jack Squat]

IAdromeda Strain Spoilers:

Spoiler

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The ending was not very satisfying at all. The threat was gone, sure, but it's not like the Wildfire team actually fixed anything. It was end-of-the-world talk for a little while, then they finally figure out what's going on, and then suddenly the problem has fixed itself. They weren't needed to do anything, and in fact they almost made it so much worse.

Yeah...This sums it up really well.

[Fredthefighter]

Yeah...This sums it up really well.

That has to be the best summary I've ever read.
COP OUT!

[DraPrime]

Yeah, Andromeda Strain has the worst ending I've ever seen in a Michael Crichton book. It was just so disappointing. The rest of the book however, was damn awesome. Sphere however, was awesome all the way through. Even the end.

[Coidzor]

Also, dentists can be male while dominatrix is by definition female.

I'm thinking either from the syntax or the construction of the word itself as well. The Literati amongst us would better be able to say. Possibly that the word is also female.

[Quincunx]

-trix is the Latin suffix for "a female practicing this occupation". The word for the hairdressers wielding curling tongs to build up those ornate imperial hairdos was 'ornatrix'.

[The Rose Dragon]

I'm thinking either from the syntax or the construction of the word itself as well. The Literati amongst us would better be able to say. Possibly that the word is also female.

That was what I meant "by definition". It's like waitress and waiter.

The male form of dominatrix is "dominator".

Is it wrong that I know a little too much about such stuff?

((I even wrote a song about it.))

[Kneenibble]

Strictly speaking, the morpheme is -rix, since the t is part of the perfect stem...

The distinction is academic, of course, since I can't think of any other terminal letters in perfect stems except s, and how does one make the female agent noun with those verbs? ...professrix? Missrix? Do you know, Quincunx?

[Phase]

So I just went down to the local driving school and took the written exam needed for a license. I passed with ease in about 15 minutes after not studying at all. Some of the possible answers to one of the questions was "run the pedestrian over." Naturally, I picked that one. It amused the guy who grades the test, so he let me pick the real answer.

Reminds me of a story I heard about a guy who answered the two page essay question on the SAT or something with one word.

The prompt? What is the riskiest thing you've ever done?

His answer? "This."

He passed.

[Coidzor]

A song, eh? What kind of song?

hmm, indeed... I was referring to that and thinking it was maybe by construction due to the syntax and not just the definition of whatever dictionary we might be utilizing. I'm dizzy now.

So this song, tell us more about it...

[Recaiden]

That was what I meant "by definition". It's like waitress and waiter.

The male form of dominatrix is "dominator".

Is it wrong that I know a little too much about such stuff?

((I even wrote a song about it.))

The song-writing may be a bit wrong. But probably not. I'm sure I have heard worse, in every way.

[Kneenibble]

Also, in the sense we're talking about, dominator isn't the male form of dominatrix. Nobody in the SM world calls himself a dominator. Dom, top, master, &c. would be male forms of dominatrix. :P

[Fredthefighter]

Also, in the sense we're talking about, dominator isn't the male form of dominatrix. Nobody in the SM world calls himself a dominator. Dom, top, master, &c. would be male forms of dominatrix. :P

You seem to know a lot about the topic, but please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE! don't explain how you know so much about it.

[The Rose Dragon]

Also, in the sense we're talking about, dominator isn't the male form of dominatrix. Nobody in the SM world calls himself a dominator. Dom, top, master, &c. would be male forms of dominatrix. :P

I would like to discuss this further, but I'm wondering if it's appropriate for our PG-13 forum.

Though I must admit, I never heard the word "top" used in a non-homosexual sexual context. Perhaps it's the culture.

[DraPrime]

Reminds me of a story I heard about a guy who answered the two page essay question on the SAT or something with one word.

The prompt? What is the riskiest thing you've ever done?

His answer? "This."

He passed.

I find that questionable, as I've heard many versions of this story. It's most likely a myth. My favorite version of the ones that I've heard is that on a college test the students had to write an essay answering the question "What is bravery?" Everyone started writing frantically, while one student went up and handed his essay on it with only two words written in response. THIS IS.

[Phase]

I find that questionable, as I've heard many versions of this story. It's most likely a myth. My favorite version of the ones that I've heard is that on a college test the students had to write an essay answering the question "What is bravery?" Everyone started writing frantically, while one student went up and handed his essay on it with only two words written in response. THIS IS.

I know it's a myth, but it gives me hope that wit and daring can actually get you through life. Can a moon not dream?

[DraPrime]

I know it's a myth, but it gives me hope that wit and daring can actually get you through life. Can a moon not dream?

No. It's a big rock in the sky that has no thoughts.

[Recaiden]

No. It's a big rock in the sky that has no thoughts.

Let him believe as he wants. We can't prove him wrong. It's just aa different way of thinking.

[Fredthefighter]

No. It's a big rock in the sky that has no thoughts.

Dragonprime was quickly murdered by a mob of fans from M.A.P.T.O, otherwise knowns as the Moons Are People Too Organisation.

[Dragonrider]

<.<

>.>

Well, that's five hours of my life I'll never get back. I finished Twilight - all 498 damn pages. My thoughts on the subject are too complex and long-drawn to be expressed in a few lines...I wrote a rant because my mom wanted to know what I thought (she couldn't get through the impenetrable writing. Thus, spoiler time.

Spoiler

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First off, I wanted to say that for the last couple minutes I've been trying to assess it outside of the baggage it carries with it - all the hype, the good and bad. But eventually I decided that it's impossible to separate my reaction to the book from that - so I honestly don't know what I'd've thought of it were it not for all the extra media attention surrounding it.

**THERE WILL BE SPOILERS**

Overall thoughts

First off: it wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. I mean, the writing wasn't terribly good (or...maybe...was BAD) but it was compelling and there were moments when I found myself sucked into the story or smiling at parts that amused me (even though I'm not sure they were meant to be funny). Yet...nothing HAPPENED. Mom read the first two chapters and was like "...all she does is cook dinner for her dad"). Yet, after a certain point, it was readable.

So I enjoyed parts of it and I can see the appeal, but whenever I engaged my brain, I stopped liking it. Intellect plus Twilight equals CRASH AND BURN.

Plot

There really isn't a plot. The last third of the book is sort of an episode unto itself, but given the resolution of it and the way it was structured, it was really just a backdrop for the Bella/Edward romance. It could have been left off - and the book could have been about a third of its present length.

Romance

This was the part that I guiltily enjoyed. I mean, aspects of it were sweet - when Edward wasn't being a jerk.

From the minute Bella first SEES Edward - from across the cafeteria - the book becomes about him. Now, personally, if I knew someone who glared at me every time our eyes met, I wouldn't become obsessed with him (no matter how gorgeous he was). I would probably just ignore him. In any case, his introduction - and the introduction to his relationship with Bella - was clumsy. And their relationship is equally stilted.

Dialogue

Was unrealistic. People, in the Twilightverse, talk too much and are overly sarcastic. I recognize the symptoms...I used to do it in my writing, too. All her characters are unrealistically mercurial: one minute teasing, the next sarcastic, the next laughing, the next furious. When it's one character, it can be okay. When it's all of them, it gets frustrating.

Writing

Even aside from all the horrible prepositions and who/whom misusage, it's not well-written. In fact, most people - even some fangirls - concede that it was bad. A lot of people also agree that it reads like a "wish fulfillment" story.

It does. But what I noticed more than anything - I wrote it down last night before I went to sleep so I wouldn't forget - is that it seems like Stephenie Meyer was just discovering the POWER of writing.

You know what I'm talking about - when you realize that it's possible to make your characters say and do and think WHATEVER YOU WANT THEM TO. It's a heady feeling but eventually you realize that in order to make a believable story, your characters have to be believable.

Characterization

Obviously, Edward is not believable. Edward is superhuman; Edward pretty much defines Mary-Sue: perfect, infallible, and adored. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they renamed the male counterpart to Mary Sue the "Edward Cullen". Bella has Mary-Sue-ish traits as well (why does everyone adore her? Why does every male at her school want to ask her out when, at her previous school, she was a nobody? Why are the only two people who dislike her flat and spiteful characters?).

I actually would suggest that the story is written FROM THE WRONG PERSPECTIVE. Bella is boring.

Well, she is. She never does anything; she sighs over Edward and gets into contrived life-and-death situations so that he can sweep in and save the day and carry her home while she protests that she's fine. The only thing compelling about her is that she is in love with Edward Cullen.

Maybe the book should have been from HIS perspective. He's still impossibly perfect, and perfect heroes aren't all that fun; in addition, it wouldn't be a "wish fulfillment" novel if it were from his perspective instead of hers.

But it might make for a better story.

Gratuitous (but honest) complaints

1. Bella is a lame heroine. Passivity isn't fun. Maybe I've spent too much time watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I think girls should be able to DO stuff.

2. What's up with the preface? It contributes nothing whatsoever to the quality of the book. In fact, it's one of the worst- (and over-) written parts (in my opinion).

3. The entire novel read like a fan fiction based off someone else's book. I've read quite a lot of Harry Potter fan fiction (bored Sunday evenings...) and plenty of the plots ran exactly parallel to this (Edward being how your average fanfic author portrays Harry). Bella is the author avatar, mysteriously inserted into someone else's universe for the pleasure of the writer. They then have sappy encounters and Harry/Edward saves our perfect protagonist. They make out. They go to prom. Yay!

Conclusion

I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, but while I can see the appeal, I don't think it's remotely worthy of the hype it's received, and as for spawning three sequels...what?! It was compelling at some parts but draggingly slow at others, and all and all, I don't understand what it is about the book that inspired so much fanatical love.

People must like vampires. I don't particularly. I mean, I adore "Angel", but it is...complex. And imperfect. These Twilight characters are shallow and too perfect.

...

[wadledo]

The thing with Stephenie Meyer is that she's actually not a terrible writer.
The Host was(after I actualy had a chance to read it) a pretty good book, and it managed to go into territory that isn't as over done as Twilight.
That being said, Meyer's should never be allowed anywhere near pre/teen fiction again, because she is anathema.

[Fredthefighter]

Well, I watched Harold and Maude, although it was amusing, I did not find it laugh out loud funny. There were parts where I smiled and chuckled, (mostly at his dates' reactions and the bit with the army) but other than that, I didn't really find it that funny. However, I did enjoy the film as a whole.
Conclusion: It was good, but I've seen a few comedies that made me laugh much more than Harold and Maude did.

I just hate all the attention Twighlight has gotten. Also, Stephanie Meyer corrupted vampires into abominations. "Sparkling" in the sunlight? What the heck is up with that? No one wants to see a vampire go "Sparkle Sparkle" or hear them say "I won't bite you because that would be insensitive". Apparently she has werewolves in one of the Twilight books, I hope to high heaven that she does not do to them what she did to vampires.

[Dr. Bath]

I just hate all the attention Twighlight has gotten. Also, Stephanie Meyer corrupted vampires into abominations. "Sparkling" in the sunlight? What the heck is up with that? No one wants to see a vampire go "Sparkle Sparkle" or hear them say "I won't bite you because that would be insensitive". Apparently she has werewolves in one of the Twilight books, I hope to high heaven that she does not do to them what she did to vampires.

Vampires weren't abominations before?

'She changed vampires to something I don't like' is the best way to argue that Twilight is bad, it's bad for plenty of other reasons. Personally I don't like the Hollywood take on vampires, they should have monobrows and no fingernails like they used to! *shakes fist*

[Fredthefighter]

Vampires weren't abominations before?

'She changed vampires to something I don't like' is the best way to argue that Twilight is bad, it's bad for plenty of other reasons. Personally I don't like the Hollywood take on vampires, they should have monobrows and no fingernails like they used to! *shakes fist*

Yeah, I think you phrased it better. Vampires are blood sucking nightmares who turn to dust in sunlight. Not wusses who sparkle in the sunlight.
As my friend put it.
"Sparkle sparkle bite me"
He also made a funny poem which had some reference to Twilight vampires, Heath Ledger, ITV and potatoes.

[Sneak]

I dunno.

I don't think Stephanie Meyer deserves praise, but she doesn't deserve derision either. Well, not much.

She mostly just deserves to be ignored.

Although I have heard that the detail with which she describes this perfect guy Edward is a little on the creepy side, as in "Uhm, I feel like I'm reading the author's own personal fantasy..."