Happy HalfTangible's Horrific Hail of Random Banter #156

[LaZodiac]

I only consider it not rude because they call me despite being on their no call list.

[HalfTangible]

I only consider it not rude because they call me despite being on their no call list.

Can't you call the police on them for that?

[CynicalAvocado]

i came this close to reversing the roles on a telemarketer once

[CurlyKitGirl]

So I had four or so randomly accumulated anecdotes I wanted to impart to the readers of this thread, but I just had to listen to a song from MLP:FIM and then get into a twenty minute discussion with Littlest Brother about his hypothetical DnD character.
He's learning the language so quickly. :smalltearyface:

Ah! Just remembered one!
I've started calling my siblings [name]-bees and I don't know why. And, importantly, I should specifiy it's [name]-/i/ derivative-bees.
>.>
It cutifies them.
So many derivatives.

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!
Another one.
What is it with my dad?
Some time in late December I switched to Firefox, and my dad wasn't exactly keen on what I did, but my laptop, my stuff.
But then I come home and dad sees how Firefox works and then he's "Koorly, can you download Firefox onto my laptop?" so I do, and then he's asking why I didn't do the beta version; what all the add-ons and shortcuts and things are.
All of them.
And as I have stated many times (it's practically part of the RB Time Loop) I have not the most technologically savvy person in my house. So now he has two browsers on the Good Laptop and the Craptop, and he's thinking about getting Google Chrome or something (and I have no idea why he wants three browsers, don't ask) and my experience in the world of non-IE browsers is very small and limited only to Firefox; he knows this, and he still wants me to show him everything internet.
On the one hand, it means I get lots of loopholes and can avoid telling him certain things; but on the other, it's annoying as all kinds of things!
I'm a nineteen-year-old bibliomaniac not a computer technician!

Oh hey, ranting made me remember another one.
This house of mine is cursed to oblivion and back. When I came home, first things out of mum's mouth were "You're late, dinner's gone cold. And cut your nails."
My lovely long nails that I'd been growing since December.
And the next day they started breaking. Instantly. At a length my mum deems appropriate for a young lady: just clearing the fingers.
One every two days like clockwork.
It's bleeding magic.
So now my nails are stubs of their former selves. It's quite disheartening even though I can actually do things like scratch my skin without drawing blood, rub my eyes in a normal fashion, open ring-pull cans and things.

. . .
Ummm.
Aha!
And for my birthday I have a promised haircut, so come end of April I'm getting one. I'm pretty sure it's going to be short. And then I have to start all. Over. Again. Sadness.

ION:
Why is it that my main threat when it comes to our annoying dogs this time around is "Shut up or I'll eat you!" They're too old and gamey to be any good. One's coming up on eleven and the other's eight. Neither of them look it though.
Maybe I make that threat because last time around it was "Belt it or I'll make you into a purse!"?
Or simply because if I eat them I won't have to walk them any more. And all that eye strain at night. Bay horses in a dark field at night with varying dark grey and black shades of grass and hedges and bushes of brambles and hawthorn all faintly lit by the houses on the other side of the valley. It's like looking for a flippin' needle in a haystack! Not to mention I have the woods to avoid too! Plus that block of black makes it even harder to see two tonne monsters with hooves the size of dinner plates that can crush your head easy as they wish.

IOON:
And last thing. This was my (intended) main rant of the post before I forgot everything.
I was on a nostalgia bomb today, wanting to read some of my The Three Investigators books, didn't matter which one. To be honest I expected to read through all twenty odd of the series that I have in one day.
Except they're gone.
Completely.
Not in my boxes in the parents' room. Not in my boxes or shelves in Littlest Brother's room. Not in my shelves in Little Brother's room. Not in the books in Little Sister's room (all but twenty of the books in that room are actually mine). Not anywhere.
This would never happen in any house but mine.
It's one thing to lose a book or two. But twenty odd?! And all in one series?!
Until now I would have thought it impossible.
But I did it.
I've looked everywhere.
So instead I read a couple of books published in the 1960s. One from 1962 about a jolly trio of boys in the Upper Sixth going around solving a mystery in Anglesey filled with casual mild racism towards the Scottish, Welsh, English and Irish, but mainly the Irish and Welsh. It was rife with words and phrases like "Gosh", "Jolly good", "Smashing" and "[T]op hole" and other stereotypical stock British phrases as well as Good Old British Dependability, Stoicism and Reliability.
The other was a 1968 reprint of a 1964 book set in (of course) an all-girls board school somewhere in the generic English countryside. Cliches abound. And casually mild classism. Sadly, no midnight feasts.
Oh, I love English/British novels for schoolchildren pre-1970. The unedited versions especially.
There's something so delightful about them.
Makes me want to go dig out my half a dozen pre-revision Enid Blytons so I can read through the stereotypes, the casual superiority of the British, the racism, classism, and things. Hell, I even got one or two where the phrases used for gypsies and . . . well, I have a book where the word "wog" is used.
I adore nostalgia bombs even if I couldn't find an entire smegging series of one of my favourite nostalgia bomb series.
Except now I want to read through my two shelves of Enid Blyton and then all the other all-girl board school books I have.
Curses?

[Teddy]

IOON:
And last thing. This was my (intended) main rant of the post before I forgot everything.
I was on a nostalgia bomb today, wanting to read some of my The Three Investigators books, didn't matter which one. To be honest I expected to read through all twenty odd of the series that I have in one day.
Except they're gone.
Completely.
Not in my boxes in the parents' room. Not in my boxes or shelves in Littlest Brother's room. Not in my shelves in Little Brother's room. Not in the books in Little Sister's room (all but twenty of the books in that room are actually mine). Not anywhere.
This would never happen in any house but mine.
It's one thing to lose a book or two. But twenty odd?! And all in one series?!
Until now I would have thought it impossible.
But I did it.
I've looked everywhere.

Have you looked in your own room?

[CurlyKitGirl]

Have you looked in your own room?

I don't have a room!
When I'm home I either sleep on the sofa or on a fold-out bed depending on space issues.
The only books I have in that room are my academic ones from the previous term slowly merging with the ones for next term, a complete set of mythological/supernatural encyclopaedias and whatever I'm reading at the time.

I only have one thousand six hundred and thirty odd books (unless you count the other books I 'own', but don't own own). How can I have lost some?!

[Ranger Mattos]

What is it with my dad?
Some time in late December I switched to Firefox, and my dad wasn't exactly keen on what I did, but my laptop, my stuff.
But then I come home and dad sees how Firefox works and then he's "Koorly, can you download Firefox onto my laptop?" so I do, and then he's asking why I didn't do the beta version; what all the add-ons and shortcuts and things are.
All of them.
And as I have stated many times (it's practically part of the RB Time Loop) I have not the most technologically savvy person in my house. So now he has two browsers on the Good Laptop and the Craptop, and he's thinking about getting Google Chrome or something (and I have no idea why he wants three browsers, don't ask) and my experience in the world of non-IE browsers is very small and limited only to Firefox; he knows this, and he still wants me to show him everything internet.
On the one hand, it means I get lots of loopholes and can avoid telling him certain things; but on the other, it's annoying as all kinds of things!
I'm a nineteen-year-old bibliomaniac not a computer technician!

My dad's the opposite. He doesn't use anything but IE.

[AtlanteanTroll]

Grrrr. I was almost straight A's this quarter. Almost. I had a Math test the week of the play and that put me into a spiral for the last 2 weeks of the quarter...

[Kneenibble]

If telemarketers call me, I either speak in a jibberish foreign language until they hang up, or drop the phone and scream and weep as if I'm being violated.

Ooh, maybe next time I'll try both.

[CynicalAvocado]

If telemarketers call me, I either speak in a jibberish foreign language until they hang up, or drop the phone and scream and weep as if I'm being violated.

Ooh, maybe next time I'll try both.

have you tried pretending they called a crime scene?

got that idea from NCIS

[HalfTangible]

If telemarketers call me, I either speak in a jibberish foreign language until they hang up, or drop the phone and scream and weep as if I'm being violated.

Ooh, maybe next time I'll try both.

I think I'll sing a song.

Master ninja theeeeeeeme sooong!

[Vonriel]

Actually, just multiple exclamation points is generally considered to be sufficient indication.

And here I was thinking it was multiple punctuation in general, not necessarily just exclamation points.

Death, drop the wrestling, you know us those westerners easterners inbetweeners can't wrestle properly. Why not settle for something both nations love: Drinking games!

(I agree with xkcd, it's still weird to think about the terms used to label parts of the world from the perspective of someone from the USA...)

[Thufir]

Dare you to humble the noble time loop!

I am Lord of the Time Loop. I do with it what I wish.

And as I have stated many times (it's practically part of the RB Time Loop) I have not the most technologically savvy person in my house.

Do you mean you are not eh most tech-savvy person in your house?
Because honestly, from what you've said it kind of seems to me that you are. You may not be massively tech-savvy, but it sounds like you're more so than the rest of your family.

I'm a nineteen-year-old bibliomaniac not a computer technician!

Star Trek reference intended?

And for my birthday I have a promised haircut, so come end of April I'm getting one. I'm pretty sure it's going to be short. And then I have to start all. Over. Again. Sadness.

Firstly, a haircut is a terrible birthday present (What happened to that Big Present you were supposed to be getting?) and secondly, surely you have a choice in how your hair is cut?

ION:
Why is it that my main threat when it comes to our annoying dogs this time around is "Shut up or I'll eat you!" They're too old and gamey to be any good. One's coming up on eleven and the other's eight. Neither of them look it though.
Maybe I make that threat because last time around it was "Belt it or I'll make you into a purse!"?
Or simply because if I eat them I won't have to walk them any more. And all that eye strain at night. Bay horses in a dark field at night with varying dark grey and black shades of grass and hedges and bushes of brambles and hawthorn all faintly lit by the houses on the other side of the valley. It's like looking for a flippin' needle in a haystack! Not to mention I have the woods to avoid too! Plus that block of black makes it even harder to see two tonne monsters with hooves the size of dinner plates that can crush your head easy as they wish.

I think it's possible you're thinking about this too much.

If telemarketers call me, I either speak in a jibberish foreign language until they hang up, or drop the phone and scream and weep as if I'm being violated.

Ooh, maybe next time I'll try both.

You are a wonderfully twisted person.

[Ranger Mattos]

Grrrr. I was almost straight A's this quarter. Almost. I had a Math test the week of the play and that put me into a spiral for the last 2 weeks of the quarter...

I've almost finished the the quarter (it ends on the 30th) and so far I'm doing good. I'll have all A's or A-'s this quarter if I don't mess up too badly on my Chapter 5 test in pre-calc or my Genetics test in bio. So far this year I've always had at least one B+. On the other hand, I've never gotten anything less than an A+ in computers or French.

Uh, I mean, that sucks. Try to do better in the fresh new quarter.

[CurlyKitGirl]

I am Lord of the Time Loop. I do with it what I wish.

But I'm the codifier and identifier! I created your position!
*insert Time Loop reference*

Do you mean you are not eh most tech-savvy person in your house?
Because honestly, from what you've said it kind of seems to me that you are. You may not be massively tech-savvy, but it sounds like you're more so than the rest of your family.

Do you mean 'you are not the most'? Yes, yes, but when I get in full on rant mode, or I'm busy typing my brain moves faster than my mouth or fingers can.
And while I am 'tech-savvy' as far as my family goes, I just can't consider myself tech-savvy in good conscience. Sure, I can fix a cracked case, a broken and flickering screen with sticky tape and have lucked into fixing a good half of the software, hardware and viral problems our computers have at home I don't consider that technologically able.
I'm . . . lucky and stubborn. And I use the internet to see if I can find a fix if ever possible.

Star Trek reference intended?

Naturally. Recall: I've been on a nostalgia bomb today.

Firstly, a haircut is a terrible birthday present (What happened to that Big Present you were supposed to be getting?) and secondly, surely you have a choice in how your hair is cut?

A haircut isn't a terrible present, it's a pretty good one. (The Big Present is coming in a few months) While I can and will choose my haircut I just have this horrible feeling it's rife with split-ends and may end up needing a cut out of necessity.
At the very worst it'll end up being shoulder length and probably layered or feathered. That's more than a foot of hair I can lose. Best bet is only two or three inches.
I'm a little bit of a pessimist when I'm not being impossibly chipper and cheerful.

I think it's possible you're thinking about this too much.

Possibly. It's just such an odd threat though, hence the analysis.
By the by, I honestly don't think it's possible to overanalyse something. The key is not to get so mired in one little detail because then you'll get sidetracked from the overall analysis.

[Teddy]

I don't have a room!

I see, you lost it somewhere along with your books, I take it?

I am Lord of the Time Loop. I do with it what I wish.

What exactly does being a Lord imply? Do you have these crazy loopy powers, shooting time tornadoes out of your fingers and whatnot?

[CurlyKitGirl]

I see, you lost it somewhere along with your books, I take it?

Nope. My room was hijacked by a sibling!

What exactly does being a Lord imply? Do you have these crazy loopy powers, shooting time tornadoes out of your fingers and whatnot?

A TARDIS with very limited powers; it only lets him hop backwards and forwards in the RB timeline and point out the recurring themes in history.
And he does get to fight off RB-Daleks, shame about the cracks in the walls though.
They're stealing our history. That's why there's nothing before #70-something. Cracks in the walls.

[LaZodiac]

If telemarketers call me, I either speak in a jibberish foreign language until they hang up, or drop the phone and scream and weep as if I'm being violated.

Ooh, maybe next time I'll try both.

This is amazing. This is also too much effort to spend on people like that.

[Thufir]

Do you mean 'you are not the most'? Yes, yes, but when I get in full on rant mode, or I'm busy typing my brain moves faster than my mouth or fingers can.

I understand that well enough. It's the reason for my own typo up there.

And while I am 'tech-savvy' as far as my family goes, I just can't consider myself tech-savvy in good conscience.

Well naturally. But everything is relative. Without a context, you're assumed to be judging relative to some general benchmark - to which you don't match up - but in the context of your family, you're judged relative to them.

A haircut isn't a terrible present, it's a pretty good one.

But... haircuts should really be a commonplace thing, not something special enough to qualify as birthday present material.

While I can and will choose my haircut I just have this horrible feeling it's rife with split-ends and may end up needing a cut out of necessity.
At the very worst it'll end up being shoulder length and probably layered or feathered. That's more than a foot of hair I can lose. Best bet is only two or three inches.
I'm a little bit of a pessimist when I'm not being impossibly chipper and cheerful.

Ah, I'm sure your hair is fine. I mean, mine was still alright after not being cut or anything for 4 years or something...

I see, you lost it somewhere along with your books, I take it?

Curly wouldn't lose her room along with her books. She might lose her room in/under her books...

What exactly does being a Lord imply? Do you have these crazy loopy powers, shooting time tornadoes out of your fingers and whatnot?

A TARDIS with very limited powers; it only lets him hop backwards and forwards in the RB timeline and point out the recurring themes in history.
And he does get to fight off RB-Daleks, shame about the cracks in the walls though.
They're stealing our history. That's why there's nothing before #70-something. Cracks in the walls.

Yeah, I was just going to say something about wiibly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.

[CurlyKitGirl]

I understand that well enough. It's the reason for my own typo up there.

Ranting is great fun, but hard on your grammar and spelling.

Well naturally. But everything is relative. Without a context, you're assumed to be judging relative to some general benchmark - to which you don't match up - but in the context of your family, you're judged relative to them.

So relative to my relatives I'm a bona fide technician? Scary thought that.

But... haircuts should really be a commonplace thing, not something special enough to qualify as birthday present material.

. . .

Ah, I'm sure your hair is fine. I mean, mine was still alright after not being cut or anything for 4 years or something...

Haircuts aren't commonplace for girls in my family. Boys are easy, mum takes the shaver to them, dad goes to the barbers, I do my mum's hair if she wants it, and Little Sister's been growing out her hair since forever. Last December I gave her her first haircut (that wasn't a home-done trim) in more than seven years. Took off more than a foot of hair, and she still has miles left.
Me, I had a haircut last . . . year? Maybe the year before. And I have hair issues that make splits common. Although . . . the shampoos and conditioners I've been using these past months have been massively reducing the split-end count.
Really I'm just antsy about haircuts in general. Never had good experience with them, 'course, my last haircut at a good salon was, oh my, six or seven years ago; and since then maybe biannually at a cheap place where lazy cuts are common.

Curly wouldn't lose her room along with her books. She might lose her room in/under her books.

Yeah. This. I can and have laid out all my books on the free space in the living room floor and ended up with the layer being three or four deep.
When I get my own place I'm going to have a library for a bedroom.

[Thufir]

Haircuts aren't commonplace for girls in my family. Boys are easy, mum takes the shaver to them, dad goes to the barbers, I do my mum's hair if she wants it, and Little Sister's been growing out her hair since forever. Last December I gave her her first haircut (that wasn't a home-done trim) in more than seven years. Took off more than a foot of hair, and she still has miles left.
Me, I had a haircut last . . . year? Maybe the year before. And I have hair issues that make splits common. Although . . . the shampoos and conditioners I've been using these past months have been massively reducing the split-end count.
Really I'm just antsy about haircuts in general. Never had good experience with them, 'course, my last haircut at a good salon was, oh my, six or seven years ago; and since then maybe biannually at a cheap place where lazy cuts are common.

Huh. My mum always cut my hair until I was around 16 or something, when that stopped and there was the period somewhere in the region of four years when it didn't get cut at all, and then I started doing it myself.

Yeah. This. I can and have laid out all my books on the free space in the living room floor and ended up with the layer being three or four deep.
When I get my own place I'm going to have a library for a bedroom.

Marry me.

[Tasroth]

So, it's 3am and I'm shaving in front of the computer because I needed somewhere sensible to sit (i.e. not the sofa) downstairs, to be certain the noise of my razor didn't disturb my parents.

I have a weird life sometimes.

[Thufir]

So, it's 3am and I'm shaving in front of the computer because I needed somewhere sensible to sit (i.e. not the sofa) downstairs, to be certain the noise of my razor didn't disturb my parents.

I have a weird life sometimes.

Maybe you should've shaved during the day. Just a thought.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Huh. My mum always cut my hair until I was around 16 or something, when that stopped and there was the period somewhere in the region of four years when it didn't get cut at all, and then I started doing it myself.

My mum sucks at hair cuts (aside from fringes, and even then she gave me a scar), and sadly, girl.
Boys can have messy hair and just be boys (one boy in my form back in secondary had letters shaved into the side of his head! Admittedly it was a drunken escapade with hair removal cream that started it, but still), whereas a female has to look mildly tolerable.
Also it's the only girly thing mum can get me to do willingly that doesn't involve buying books or earrings to add to my . . . large collections.

Marry me.

It's only a small library. Hardly worth proposing for at all.

[Thufir]

My mum sucks at hair cuts (aside from fringes, and even then she gave me a scar), and sadly, girl.

Wait, seriously? You got a scar from a haircut?

Boys can have messy hair and just be boys (one boy in my form back in secondary had letters shaved into the side of his head! Admittedly it was a drunken escapade with hair removal cream that started it, but still), whereas a female has to look mildly tolerable.

Hey! I'll have you know I prize the look of my hair very highly!
Rassinfrassin gender stereotypes.

It's only a small library. Hardly worth proposing for at all.

Hardly worth it is still worth it! Also just the principle of the thing, though I admit I was kind of imagining a big old-fashioned library. With a bed in it.

Heh. Some people like their prospective romantic partners to have fancy cars or other such luxuries, or just excessive physical endowments. But us? More like, "Curly is seriously amazing you guys. I mean, she's just got such massive... collections of books!"
I love being nerdy.

[Tasroth]

Maybe you should've shaved during the day. Just a thought.

Yeah... Or yesterday, actually...

So I'm a bit erratic. At least it's better than when I was a teenager.

And... I should have been in bed a couple of hours ago...

[CynicalAvocado]

So, it's 3am and I'm shaving in front of the computer because I needed somewhere sensible to sit (i.e. not the sofa) downstairs, to be certain the noise of my razor didn't disturb my parents.

I have a weird life sometimes.

i remember shaving on the back of a charter bus around 2AM somewhere in alabama

because i couldn't sleep.

[Vonriel]

Hardly worth it is still worth it! Also just the principle of the thing, though I admit I was kind of imagining a big old-fashioned library. With a bed in it.

That's all you imagined? See, me, I imagined something that can't exist in this world. Well... properly, anyway. Because a good library, a proper library, exists in about seven different dimensions, and a trip down the right aisle will take you back years, decades, centuries even, if you're not lucky. This library would also have books that have to be chained down, and in one or three special cases, chained down, in a block of ice, under a concrete slab, inside a safe, inside a bigger safe, buried under a rock. Because you see, when you stick all that information, well, you know how they say 'knowledge is power'? In libraries, they mean it. Well, in the proper ones, anyway.

Edited to add: Also, I miss the days where I could shave only every two or three days and still look presentable... now, one missed day has me looking entirely too scruffy, and two gives me this ridiculously bad looking neck-beard.

And while we're on the subject of 'I miss the days', I miss the days when I was still in pre-calculus. Calculus 2 is for the birds, and don't get me started on stupid programming courses with stupid professors who stupidly make us use unix without any sort of gui. It's like MS-DOS all over again.

[CynicalAvocado]

i still have the first book i ever read, some little rag called war and peace

i kid, i kid.

it was a little 9 page book called sleepover mouse

[Teddy]

Nope. My room was hijacked by a sibling!

Hey, no one asked for a serious answer.

Okay, I'm stopping now. My smilies are growing in numbers exponentially.

A TARDIS with very limited powers; it only lets him hop backwards and forwards in the RB timeline and point out the recurring themes in history.
And he does get to fight off RB-Daleks, shame about the cracks in the walls though.
They're stealing our history. That's why there's nothing before #70-something. Cracks in the walls.

Sorry, Doctor Who references work porly on me. I haven't seen more than to know what a Dalek is, and that's also based on third party knowledge (Fun fact: we call them "Pepper mills", and littlest brother is completely terrified of them).

Curly wouldn't lose her room along with her books. She might lose her room in/under her books...

Yeah, I saw this as the most likely answer, but I tried to be open-minded, you see.

Yeah, I was just going to say something about wiibly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff.

I just love how the word "wibbly-wobbly" is pronounciated. Just that is reason enough for me to listen to it (then We've got the fact that it's awesome too).

Yes, yes, but when I get in full on rant mode, or I'm busy typing my brain moves faster than my mouth or fingers can.

Wait, this only happens to you when you're ranting? Lucky bastard.