Quote Originally Posted by MoonCat View Post
I'm in high school. I just sort of asked for a pass to get out of class, the teacher saw me sobbing in the corner, and let me out. Then I just had to call my parents to call the attendance office in front of me to say I could leave.

I would like to see a professional, but I've had very little luck with the last one I had because of FDS, and I'm slightly turned off of them now as it is, considering I've never gained anything from sessions, and it appears talking about FDs makes everything worse.

I seem to get triggered just by talking about it, or thinking about it, which is what really scares me. Suddenly I'm unsafe n my own brian, but it wasn't always like this, I used to be able to think about it without crying. The bad part is that suddenly two years of healing just left me, and I'm as raw as the beginning, where anything triggered me.
If you decide to try seeing a professional again, it may be worth trying to think of how you might be able to start with something less raw in order to get to know them (trust is key!), before trying to delve more deeply into how to recover from FDS. I'm not coming up with anything right now, but I'll try to keep it in the back of my mind, and someone else may be able to come up with something in the meantime.

In terms of finding someone... since you're in high school, you don't have the counseling center resources of a college, but you probably have a guidance counselor. I'm remembering back to my ~500 student middle/high school, and we had one (I was lucky, and she was great). You might be able to start there, and either work with him/her or try to get a recommendation for a few professionals you could talk to.

That fear of being inside your own brain would make anyone uncomfortable and scared, I think. It's supposed to be your own safe space, and yours has been violated. Obviously, the goal is to get it back, but it's also the challenging part.

For the moment, *hugs*