GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread II

[strawberryman]

His breath weapon spreads the new disease, the Ravenous Plague. Almost didn't catch it at first, but it's legit (have never heard of that specific disease anyhow).

Speaking of which, is Green-Eyed Jealousy fine for the name of my creature's disease? >_>;

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Although Vorpal Tribble has asked me to PEACH all contest entries, I'll be on vacation with sporadic internet access. I'll do my best to look at the entries but I apologize in advance if I can't get to them all.

It's all good btw, I've been going over them myself last couple months as well.

Speaking of which, is Green-Eyed Jealousy fine for the name of my creature's disease? >_>;

Any reason it wouldn't be?

[strawberryman]

There. Envious Plaguebearer done. Hope that doesn't bend the rules any, though I hope that the only thing there is the name of the disease, which is named after Parsee's theme (and a quote by Shakespeare, of course ). That's an easy rename, though.

Well, and I hope it isn't too boring. It is one of my simpler designs.

XD Maybe I'm just paranoid.

[Mulletmanalive]

There we go! Banksie, a plague on our fair city the strangest disease i could come up with: Graffiti and Tattooes!

[Debihuman]

Mulletmanalive: The Type should be Fey not Fae see MM and SRD. Does it have alternative speeds? Lore checks normally start at 10 + Creature's Hit DC (See Knowledge skill).

Debby

[Mulletmanalive]

Fixed the standing problems and i have already included a note about starting early on the Lore...

He's a local sensation; makes sense...

[Debihuman]

Regarding the Banksie:

A few minor corrections. The DC of the blindness in text shouldn't appear in the statblock.

Attack: Paint Spray + 9 touch (1d3 plus blindness)
Full Attack: Paint Spray + 9 touch (1d3 l plus blindness)

You should clean up Paint Spray a little: What is the DC of the Fort save and what ability should the Fort save be based on? How long does it take to wash the liquid out? There are no "turns" in 3.5 only rounds. See below to see what I mean. I bolded the spots that you should fill in. I think this is what you mean but I want to be sure. This is an awkward mechanic despite my cleaning it up. Also, would having brush tips and valves for fingers affect his grappling ability in any way? I'd imagine it would, but it's your call.

Paint Spray [Ex]: The hands of Banksie are a mass of brush tips and strange valves that spray paint. When desperate, he can direct these nozzles into the faces of those around him. Doing so has a range of 15 ft., deals 1d3 points of nonlethal damage, and the victim must succeed on a Reflex save (DC 22) or be Blinded until the liquid is washed out. The save is charisma-based. Blinded creatures must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC X +1 for each round he or she has been blinded) or else the Blindness becomes permanent. The save is x-based.

In Organization: If the creature is Solitary but is the only one, it should have "(Unique)" listed.

One last thing:

Banksie was and still is a human. The original's real name is Duane but this entity is something else; a fairy spectre that continues his original attempts to infuriate the mayor who fired him as a clerk.

Actually, he's a Fey now and Earth one at that so you should fix that first line. There are specters in D&D. Perhaps you should amend that portion as well. May I humbly suggest "entity" . It's nit-picky, but this creature is just so good that I want to see the fluff be equally above par.

I'd love to know more about his his history and how he became Banksie. I think that's what intrigues me about this entry. Perhaps after the contest ends you'll have more on this (at least I hope so).

Pet Peeve Alert...
I really wish the stat block you used hadn't been the one posted in the Guide To Homebrewing by Fax. It's got a lot of inconsistencies and it just doesn't look good. I try not to let my bias get in the way of things but sometimes it does so I thought I'd mention it (again).

Debby

[Mulletmanalive]

Regarding the Banksie:

A few minor corrections. The DC of the blindness in text shouldn't appear in the statblock.

One this one, is there reason for you to think this would confuse matters? I put that there because i find it facilitates me using said creature. If you don't think it'll confuse, i'd rather leave it in for play reasons.

Attack: Paint Spray + 9 touch (1d3 plus blindness)
Full Attack: Paint Spray + 9 touch (1d3 l plus blindness)

Is it really necessary to split the two up for any reason beyond standardisation? They're the same.

You should clean up Paint Spray a little: What is the DC of the Fort save and what ability should the Fort save be based on? How long does it take to wash the liquid out? There are no "turns" in 3.5 only rounds. See below to see what I mean. I bolded the spots that you should fill in. I think this is what you mean but I want to be sure. This is an awkward mechanic despite my cleaning it up. Also, would having brush tips and valves for fingers affect his grappling ability in any way? I'd imagine it would, but it's your call.

Done, kinda. Corrected it to the point where it reads DC = and that it makes it clear that there is no stat used. The grapple thing is mostly so he isn't penalised when escaping. I suppose it could change

In Organization: If the creature is Solitary but is the only one, it should have "(Unique)" listed.

Done, though whether Banksie is actually unique is down to the GM. Probably unique to a city, admittedly...

Actually, he's a Fey now and Earth one at that so you should fix that first line. There are specters in D&D. Perhaps you should amend that portion as well. May I humbly suggest "entity" . It's nit-picky, but this creature is just so good that I want to see the fluff be equally above par.

I'll see what i can come up with. It was written from a people's eye view rather than including metagame knowledge remember...

I'd love to know more about his his history and how he became Banksie. I think that's what intrigues me about this entry. Perhaps after the contest ends you'll have more on this (at least I hope so).

since you asked nicely, i'll set to writing more.

Pet Peeve Alert...
I really wish the stat block you used hadn't been the one posted in the Guide To Homebrewing by Fax. It's got a lot of inconsistencies and it just doesn't look good. I try not to let my bias get in the way of things but sometimes it does so I thought I'd mention it (again).

Debby

I used this as its effort enough putting a creature online without having to go through everything on the thing and bold it over again. VT, if you're reading, how about a non-parse there buddy? For now, i've fixed it to bring it into line.

Thanks Deb

[The Vorpal Tribble]

VT, if you're reading, how about a non-parse there buddy?

Done

[Mulletmanalive]

Thanks, though you've put colons outside the bold in a few places at the beginning. I just noticed it in Attacks through Saves and its missing from Abilities.

I'll use that next time; it'll save much time.

[Debihuman]

Is it really necessary to split the two up for any reason beyond standardisation? They're the same.

Just standardization. Also, I think it should be standard is for the newbies. They sometimes copy non-standard statblocks and don't realize there is something missing.

since you asked nicely, i'll set to writing more.

Yay!

Thanks Deb

You're welcome as always.

Debby

[Mulletmanalive]

Expanded fluff included. I'll fine tune it over the next couple of days. I was planning to write it as an after action report, like i do a lot of stuff for my setting's monsters, but i thought that'd be a bit obtuse.

Enjoy the holiday reading, Deb

[Debihuman]

Excellent work there, Mulletmanalive. I'm thoroughly enjoying the background. Tell me you weren't inspired by Turk 182!

Debby

[Mulletmanalive]

By way of an answer, who's Turk 184?

I got the idea originally from Pratchett's Theory of Nascient Belief and the Small Gods principal.

[FlyingWhale]

I don't know if it is against the rules... but think someone can help with my entry idea? It's just a question of HOW it is spread... It started as a curse to a specific race/creature and now is infecting people... I was thinking like The Lost Hope, being a CHA check when speaking with them but I dunno... So, if something thinks they can help, can you PM me? or, here I dunno... Thanks in advance and sorry in advance if it's against SOP...

[The Vorpal Tribble]

3 Days To Go


@Flying Whale, have you gotten any suggestions yet?

[FlyingWhale]

Negative but the show must go on, and since there are 3 days left... I'll have this baby up within the hour. wish me luck!

Also on a side note, I have read through the entries thus far, really, really, fantastic job out there you folks! I am going to have to ask to borrow all of these for a game of mine!

[Mulletmanalive]

I don't think it was against the spirit of the game and there's certainly no rule against asking for help, otherwise, Debbi wouldn't be helping so much. Reason i didn't respond was that i didn't really know what you were asking.

Curse transmission would logically be along the lines of "if they agree to help you, in whatever way the curse compels you to ask, they gain the curse themselves."

A simple example might be that "you may never seek the warnth of a hearth with company again" which causes penalties if you were in a warm room with others. Those others who let you into the situation gain the curse themselves.

Another might be "Your shield arm will be as glass, but so shall any wielded against you" which causes your arm to break if you wield a sword, but is contagious if any fool wields a sword against you.

There's nothing wrong with using alternative mechanisms to saves for conduction; i remember one that required a Comprehend Languages check, with success meaning that you'd understood the curse and been slapped with it.

[FlyingWhale]

Oooo. Those are great, also yeah I wasn't too clear, I was worried about making a fuss. And, unfortunately after all this work, it is clear to me now I have made a template, not a creature. I will post this template in my sig but respectively withdraw from this competition. Good luck entries!

[The Vorpal Tribble]

Don't have to disappear, still got 3 days. You have time.

[Debihuman]

Voting occurs in 3 days. I suggest that EVERYONE look over his or her entry for last minute possible corrections.

While there are no set criteria for voting, I will let you know my personal biases that may affect how I vote:

I usually will not vote for a creature that isn't in proper format as noted by VT in the rules. This is contest after all. Failure to use proper format shows a disregard to following rules. I don't care if you like other formats better. Whine to someone else.

If you use your own homebrewed methods of calculation and don't let us know, I probably won't vote for you either. Note: Lore is ALWAYS 10 + Creature's HD. If you calculate it otherwise, please state so up front. It wastes my time if I'm pointing out errors that were done on purpose.

While I don't generally use spelling and grammar as a criteria, it has come into play on occasion. I try not to make an issue of it because I understand things like Dyslexia, ESL, British and other spelling variants. Not everyone has a perfect grasp of the language. Kudos to those of you who don't even speak English as your primary language. However, this is a contest and the object is to present the best creature that you can. If you use Firefox as your browser, it will highlight spelling for you. I'm not sure which other browsers do the same.

Despite ALL the above, I simply vote what I like. That may mean throwing all my criteria out the window for something that just strikes my fancy.

Debby (being brutally honest here)

[Debihuman]

By way of an answer, who's Turk 184?

I got the idea originally from Pratchett's Theory of Nascient Belief and the Small Gods principal.

Turk 182 was a movie that came out 1985 with Robert Urich, Timothy Hutton, and Kim Catrell (of Sex and the City). It's a movie about and older brother firefighter who is injured on the job. The younger takes matter into his own hands (including writing graffiti all over NYC) when the benefits that should be awarded aren't. He ends up going to the mayor and when that doesn't work, he starts a campaign against the mayor. Turk 182 was the badge number. See more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turk_182.

Debby

[The Vorpal Tribble]

To give everyone more time I have decided to start our yearly epic-level competition a bit early. As well, as we are nearing 50 pages, I give you the GITP Monster Competition Chat Thread III.

This thread is now officially closed.