Dragonprime's Dynamically Dangerous Dextrous and Destructive Random Banter #118

[DraPrime]

You know, getting a beard gives you a +5 bonus against double entendres. It's a fact.

*nods wisely*

[TwoBitWriter]

*builds a pagan idol to the TV gods*

...

...*thinks better of it, burns it down, and starts reading Good Omens*

Let's go sack Rome instead!

Or burn London to the ground.

Let's do some proper Barbarian-type thingies.

Edit: @Fred: You had better play a Dwarf Fighter or I will be sorely disappointed in you!

[Fredthefighter]

You know, getting a beard gives you a +5 bonus against double entendres. It's a fact.

*nods wisely*

Urgh, please, shut up about beards. I'm not even getting a goattee. I'm just trying a new look and seeing what happens okay? If it doesn't work out well then I'll go back to having a beard.
(You'll moan if I go back to having a beard won't you?)


@TwoBit: As I said, I'm trying something new, seeing if there are more options for me than just "Dwarf with an axe".

[CurlyKitGirl]

That's evil! That sounds like the character I'm playing in my final exam for drama.... and he's an insane, cigar smoking drunkard!

Dude, I'm evil. And a force for good. And a goddess. And a demon.

That sounds very bad indeed. I'll just step out of the way here.
Also, not many people at my school read, even the library is quite small compared to the library next to the church that's about 5mins drive away. Even my best friend says he doesn't read, then again, I don't think he'd have time. He does Karate three times a week, band practice twice a week, drum lessons once a week, manages to do his homework and still revises for the upcoming exams. I don't know how he does it.[/QUOTE]

. . .
Tell me, does your friend watch the Brain Blender (the box)? Then he has time to read.
Assume 90 mins per lesson.
Your school finishes oh, half three.
So he has from five pm until say tennish guessing from your usual sign off.
Five hours.
Knock off say two hours for homework and revision.
Three hours a day, not including weekends.
Not including weekends.
You can read at break and lunch time no?
You can read travelling to and from school no?
There is never any possibility of not being able to read.
I read at least four hours a day and here's my schedule:

Wake up at six. Can be spent reading for one hour.
Up at seven.
Nap til twenty past.
Out the house by half past.
Bus from station leaves at eight.
Arrives at nine. This is one hour of reading/napping.
On average I'd have one free hour a day at college. Actual time varies. I spend roughly half my free time at college reading. Sometimes less, but at least three hours a week reading. Not including frees.
College ends four fifteen.
Bus leaves four thirty; arrives at the station five fifteenish. Forty five minutes reading time.
Walk two miles home - going slowly about half an hour (including shop visit). Can be walked while reading a book. I don't yet, this is my daydream/tutor planning session.
One hour to two hours tutoring every day.
Technically I also have five hours of homework/extra research to do every day as well. Generally for me: two hours.
Bed, now I'm being strict is between eleven and midnight.
But I can and do stay up til two or three am reading or doing coursework (involves reading) or selling free tutoring services - gods! I'm generous.

So say five hours per day reading. Even though I actually have every free non - sleeping minute filled with something. Note this doesn't include running errands for four houses or weekends.

Thus, there is no such thing as never having time to bloody well read. Ever.

*builds a pagan idol to the TV gods*

...

...*thinks better of it, burns it down, and starts reading Good Omens*

Good.
You should read Good Omens and rejoice in the Almostocalypse.
And the fairly obvious subtext.

Oh greatest of the mass media, thank you for elevating emotion, reducing thought, and stifling imagination. Thank you for the artificiality of quick solutions and for the insidious manipulation of human desires for commercial purposes. This bowl of lukewarm tapioca represents my brain. I offer it in humble sacrifice. Bestow thy flickering light forever.

*applauds*
Bravo my wonderful Kneen!
So I take it that I'm one of your major deities then as I encompass all play scripts as well?
But yah, all of what Kneen said I believe absolutely. And yes, I do know about the advantages as well, but there's so many other detrimental effects.

Warning: Never ever give a Frenchman coffee. This was one of my alternative clips for Little Brother's French tutoring today.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Dallas, are you thinking of the Star Wars Tieflings?

Nope, never even watched Star blegh.
I am going out from forum avatars of Tieflings. Duh.

Forum tieflings > Tieflings > other kinds of tieflings > star wars tieflings is how it go's I think.

[Fredthefighter]

Dude, I'm evil. And a force for good. And a goddess. And a demon.

That's very confusing yet strangely plausible.

Tell me, does your friend watch the Brain Blender (the box)? Then he has time to read.
Assume 90 mins per lesson.
Your school finishes oh, half three.
So he has from five pm until say tennish guessing from your usual sign off.
Five hours.
Knock off say two hours for homework and revision.
Three hours a day, not including weekends.
Not including weekends.
You can read at break and lunch time no?
You can read travelling to and from school no?
There is never any possibility of not being able to read.
I read at least four hours a day and here's my schedule:

Wake up at six. Can be spent reading for one hour.
Up at seven.
Nap til twenty past.
Out the house by half past.
Bus from station leaves at eight.
Arrives at nine. This is one hour of reading/napping.
On average I'd have one free hour a day at college. Actual time varies. I spend roughly half my free time at college reading. Sometimes less, but at least three hours a week reading. Not including frees.
College ends four fifteen.
Bus leaves four thirty; arrives at the station five fifteenish. Forty five minutes reading time.
Walk two miles home - going slowly about half an hour (including shop visit). Can be walked while reading a book. I don't yet, this is my daydream/tutor planning session.
One hour to two hours tutoring every day.
Technically I also have five hours of homework/extra research to do every day as well. Generally for me: two hours.
Bed, now I'm being strict is between eleven and midnight.
But I can and do stay up til two or three am reading or doing coursework (involves reading) or selling free tutoring services - gods! I'm generous.

So say five hours per day reading. Even though I actually have every free non - sleeping minute filled with something. Note this doesn't include running errands for four houses or weekends.

Thus, there is no such thing as never having time to bloody well read. Ever.

My friend says the only Tv he watches is 1 hour of Wrestling, although I'm not sure whether that is per day. I think he's just not into books. I usually read at lunchtime in the library, because if I read anywhere else I get bothered by random idiots.

Warning: Never ever give a Frenchman coffee. This was one of my alternative clips for Little Brother's French tutoring today.

That sounds like good advice.

@Dallas:
Here is what the SRD says about the Planetouched (Aasimar and Tiefling)
Planetouched is a general word to describe someone who can trace his or her bloodline back to an outsider, usually a fiend or celestial.
The effects of having a supernatural being in one’s heritage last for many generations. Although not as dramatically altered as a half-celestial or a half-fiend, planetouched still retain some special qualities.
Aasimars are humans with some trace of celestial blood in their veins, and tieflings have some fiendishness in their family tree.
And here is what it says about Tieflings.
Many tieflings are indistinguishable from humans. Others have small horns, pointed teeth, red eyes, a whiff of brimstone about them, or even cloven feet. No two tieflings are the same.

[Dr. Bath]

Let's go sack Rome instead!

Or burn London to the ground.

Let's do some proper Barbarian-type thingies.

BOO! *heckles*

I bet you couldn't sack your way out of a ...sack.

[wadledo]

BOO! *heckles*

I bet you couldn't sack your way out of a ...sack.

Bah, I bet you couldn't sack your way into the sack

[Dallas-Dakota]

T
@Dallas:
Here is what the SRD says about the Planetouched (Aasimar and Tiefling)
Planetouched is a general word to describe someone who can trace his or her bloodline back to an outsider, usually a fiend or celestial.
The effects of having a supernatural being in one’s heritage last for many generations. Although not as dramatically altered as a half-celestial or a half-fiend, planetouched still retain some special qualities.
Aasimars are humans with some trace of celestial blood in their veins, and tieflings have some fiendishness in their family tree.
And here is what it says about Tieflings.
Many tieflings are indistinguishable from humans. Others have small horns, pointed teeth, red eyes, a whiff of brimstone about them, or even cloven feet. No two tieflings are the same.

Forums tieflings > All other tieflings.....

I live in a world dominated by chaos, not DnD rules...

Edit : Curly! Your day is verah planned....Much more planned then mine....

[Fredthefighter]

Forums tieflings > All other tieflings.....

I live in a world dominated by chaos, not DnD rules...

Well, my avatar is called George (although maybe Timmothy/Thomas the Tiefling would be better?).
He's a Tiefling as far as I'm concerned, no matter what other people think.
EDIT: BTW, when I requested the avatar, I just said Tiefling fighter (with weapon and armour specifics and the halo/crown of fire), so it's the artist's view of a Tiefling.

[Thufir]

Kneenibble wins for quoting Calvin and Hobbes.
People should read more.

Those are my main conclusions from everything that has happened since my last post.

ION: My dinner today was a recipe from Nanny Ogg's Cookbook.

[DraPrime]

So after walking about a bit I've come to a painful realization. I have a blister on each foot that makes transporting myself on my own two legs agonizing.

And on a less whiny and complainy note, D-D I think you should know that real life is in fact dictated by DnD rules.

[Fredthefighter]

ION: My dinner today was a recipe from Nanny Ogg's Cookbook.

*Salutes and bows down to*
You sir are much braver than I.

@Dragonprime: If life were dictated by D&D rules then I'd have lightning bolted a few people by now and I'd have thrown a few fireballs.

[Dallas-Dakota]

And on a less whiny and complainy note, D-D I think you should know that real life is in fact dictated by DnD rules.

Please, (insert deity of your choice here), tell that is first and not fourth edition? Or atleast 3.5?

P.s. I'm just a soul in a body, my life goal is to write more about Arda.

[Cristo Meyers]

Good.
You should read Good Omens and rejoice in the Almostocalypse.
And the fairly obvious subtext.

I'll get there, I'll get there...

...eventually.

I mean, it's not like I've got a massive backlog of books to read or anything and have been lazily putting them all off so I can continue to work on procrastinate about finishing my own work...

<_<

>_>

...nope, totally not...

[Groundhog]

Please, (insert deity of your choice here), tell that is first and not fourth edition? Or atleast 3.5?

All right:
This is the god of forums!! It is first edition!! Farewell!!

[Fredthefighter]

Please, (insert deity of your choice here), tell that is first and not fourth edition? Or atleast 3.5?

P.s. I'm just a soul in a body, my life goal is to write more about Arda.

*Cough* Hi, I'm Herbert, god of DMing, he who does pwn many noobs at X-box, he who does not live in his mother's basement, yadda yadda yadda. *Cough*
Anyways, yeah, it's 3.5, with Psionic rules and Unearthed Arcane. Now stop bothering me, I just beat my high score on Guitar Hero 3.

[Dragonrider]

I just watched "Harold and Maude". It was the most bizarre film I've seen in a LONG time...but there were parts where couldn't stop laughing. Sometimes movies can be strange and offer no explanation for their oddity...and be great.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Tell me, where can I get this 'Harold and Maude' ?

[Dragonrider]

You can do what I did and watch it online, in all its gruesome glory.

[Fredthefighter]

Thankyou DeeRee, now I shall watch it when I have time.

[Dragonrider]

Be warned: it's VERY dark-humored.

And, like I said, odd.

But I really enjoyed it.

[Fredthefighter]

Be warned: it's VERY dark-humored.

And, like I said, odd.

But I really enjoyed it.

Meh, The Dark Knight was.... dark, just like the comicbooks, so I think I can handle dark. I once watched a film called Delicatessen, it was about a butcher and his cannibal lodgers. The handyman hid in the trashcan and tried to escape, but the butcher brought the bin back in and when he opened the trashcan, he hit the handyman in the head with a meat cleaver.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Thenkee, Deer, I shall watch it tomorrow when I'm not 99% asleep and not on autotype and constantly almost falling asleep on the desk and couch.

Edit : Fred, you do know what Delicatessen means in dutch, don't you?

For everybody : Goodnight RB! I'l see you forum peoples tomorrow.

[Fredthefighter]

Thenkee, Deer, I shall watch it tomorrow when I'm not 99% asleep and not on autotype and constantly almost falling asleep on the desk and couch.

Edit : Fred, you do know what Delicatessen means in dutch, don't you?

For everybody : Goodnight RB! I'l see you forum peoples tomorrow.

It was a french film. But I don't know what Delicatessen means in dutch.
*Searches on google*
EDIT: Ah, it means delicacies/fine foods, so now I understand the film slightly more. Here is a link to an info-site for those who haven't seen the film.
Link

[Dragonrider]

Well, not DARK so much as...well yeah, okay, dark, but not like that. It portrays death and suicide as funny.

...when I put it like that it sounds horrible. And it's not wholly accurate either. So I'll shut up now and let you draw your own conclusions.

[TwoBitWriter]

*Laments his inability to protect DeeRee's innocence*

Seriously though, Harold and Maude is a great film.

However, it is very dark-humored.

I think Cristo would like it, I sure as hell did.

@^: Suicide, not so much, but I find death to be extremely funny, especially when it's dripping with irony.

[CurlyKitGirl]

That's very confusing yet strangely plausible.

Nothing is impossible. And I warp time.

My friend says the only Tv he watches is 1 hour of Wrestling, although I'm not sure whether that is per day. I think he's just not into books. I usually read at lunchtime in the library, because if I read anywhere else I get bothered by random idiots.

Idiot.
He watches muscle bound men play in a ring with pretty toys in a pre - rehearsed, fully orchestrated dance.
He should read.

If the library's full read outside, or under staircases, or in hallways, or outside, it was summer last week after all.

Edit : Curly! Your day is verah planned....Much more planned then mine....

Not really. I just have deadlines and expected times. I do a lot, so I need to alot x for each one in whatever order I want.

Can't wait until I have to squeeze a job in too. On the plus side: six weeks to gi.

[Fredthefighter]

Nothing is impossible. And I warp time.

So can Dr.Who and plenty of other people. That's pretty cool though.

Idiot.
He watches muscle bound men play in a ring with pretty toys in a pre - rehearsed, fully orchestrated dance.
He should read.

Actually, my friend is quite an intelligent and talented young lad.

If the library's full read outside, or under staircases, or in hallways, or outside, it was summer last week after all.

Outside: Jerks bother me.
Under Staircases: You can't get under the staircases.
Hallways: Bothered by teachers and jerks.
Dinner Hall: So much noise it's unreal.

[Dragonrider]

*Laments his inability to protect DeeRee's innocence*

Seriously though, Harold and Maude is a great film.

However, it is very dark-humored.

I think Cristo would like it, I sure as hell did.

@^: Suicide, not so much, but I find death to be extremely funny, especially when it's dripping with irony.

Yeah, I thought it was terrific. Both the characters and the story - and the open-endedness of the finish.

Also, guess who did the soudtrack! I was amazed!

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