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Thread: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
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2009-04-22, 02:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Ridiculous D&D contrivances
I know fantasy requires a level of suspension of disbelief, but sometimes D&D just goes too damn far. I was just reading Dungeonscape... sharks bred to swim in acid? Really? It's one of the most preposterous and ostentatious things you could possibly put in a dungeon! As if the lack of flesh searing chemicals wasn't enough! Sharks, really? I mean... unless you plan on doing this.
So, what's your favorite absolutely totally ridiculous thing D&D has ever tried to convince you is a reasonable thing to put in a game?Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.
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2009-04-22, 02:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-04-22, 03:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
The material component for Bless Water (or the other [ALIGNMENT] water spells) is five pounds of powdered silver. A flask of holy water is one pint. There is simply not enough room to mix the two! You can't do that! I'm okay with most magic. I'll accept conjuring fearsome beasts out of thin air, lighting things on fire with your mind, bringing the dead back to life, turning yourself into a strange new form, sending your friend across the globe in the blink of an eye, any of it. But this isn't magic, this is before the magic happens. Ugh. That just bothers me for some reason.
Oh, and the fact that all languages are equally easy to learn and that a mere two skill points (or one, for some classes) is enough to instantly, perfectly, fluently master a new language. I know that PCs are legendary heroes and thus Better Than You, but I cringe a little when I think about how my studies of Japanese (I'm a Japanese Major for crying out loud! I'm graduating next month! I've spent years on this and I'm still nowhere near fluent!) counts for less than two skill points (less because I don't have the perfect fluent understanding that Speak Language gives). Grrr.In the Beginning Was the Word, and the Word Was Suck: A Guide to Truenamers
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2009-04-22, 03:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Half-Dragon Celestial Bees. I've actually had one of my characters fight them. The sad part is that Half-Dragon Celestial Bees is a rather tame example of template sillyness.
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2009-04-22, 03:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.
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2009-04-22, 04:13 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
I don't have any more trouble suspending disbelief for any of that stuff than I do for Magic Missile. As a matter of fact, there are things released as April Fool's jokes that I look at and think "You know... The stats actually look balanced to me... I wonder if my players would yell at me if I tossed in a few Flumph Headstabbers..."
So nothing official has looked too crazy to me.
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2009-04-22, 04:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-04-22, 04:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Remember how I was wishing for the peace of oblivion a minute ago?
Yeah. That hasn't exactly changed with more knowledge of the situation. -Security Chief Victor Jones, formerly of the UESC Marathon.
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2009-04-22, 04:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Yeah, but Grells are abberations. They are, by definition, supposed to be a bit weird (to us).
Bless Water thingIcy Fan of Gelugons and proud member of Baatezu Lovers Club
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2009-04-22, 04:29 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-04-22, 04:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
...Our Administrator and Giant wrote that supplement...
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2009-04-22, 04:43 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
I believe by RAW it reaches a point where animating certain creatures requires more onyx gems than will fit inside their head. Also gives you a really easy way to research hit dice (just put in one gem at a time until the spell works, repeating as necessary and taking as many days as required to get all the necessary spells).
The movement speed always kind of bothered me. I know PCs are above average people, but 30 feet is a lot to move in 6 seconds and still have enough time to cast a spell, attack someone, or do any number of things that are standard actions, or even move actions. And running at 4x speed?
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2009-04-22, 04:44 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Originally Posted by Mando Knight
The movement speed always kind of bothered me. I know PCs are above average people, but 30 feet is a lot to move in 6 seconds and still have enough time to cast a spell, attack someone, or do any number of things that are standard actions, or even move actions. And running at 4x speed?
Even at 4x speed, that's only 6m/sLast edited by KazilDarkeye; 2009-04-22 at 05:02 PM.
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2009-04-22, 04:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Give them bread and circusses and the plebs wont rise against you. Give adventurers dungeons and trapped chests and they won't waste time looking to ransack your home and kill your wife.
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2009-04-22, 04:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
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2009-04-22, 04:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
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2009-04-22, 04:53 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Originally Posted by Dervag
Movement speed thing againLast edited by KazilDarkeye; 2009-04-22 at 04:55 PM.
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2009-04-22, 04:58 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Stupid monsters? Here you go:
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm"It's not like chess, where choosing to play black or white dictates your entire strategy. Also, chess doesn't have steam cannons."
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2009-04-22, 05:01 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
It is inevitable, of course, that persons of epicurean refinement will in the course of eternity engage in dealings with those of... unsavory character. Record well any transactions made, and repay all favors promptly.. (Thanks to Gnomish Wanderer for the Toreador avatar! )
Wanna see what all this Exalted stuff is about? Here's a primer!
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2009-04-22, 05:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
I never said it had to be difficult. The 150 feet thing is an underestimate, caused by laziness and/or not using a very accurate conversion value.
Even with a barbarian running, it's still only about 11m/s, which is still somewhat reasonable.
Plus, Barbarians are used to all that stuff. Reading, writing and basic maths, on the other hand...Last edited by KazilDarkeye; 2009-04-23 at 12:07 PM.
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2009-04-22, 05:08 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Contrived things in D&D?
What about the very existence of the ubiquitous 'dungeon'?
Or how about even the adventuring profession?
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2009-04-22, 05:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Lets see...
Human Barbarian 1
Feats:
Run
Dash x3
Flaws:
Murky-eyed
Innatentive
Speed: 30ft + 10ft + 15ft = 55ft
Using a Run Action: 55 x 5 = 275ft/6 seconds
On topic, the templates are kind of messed up...I mean, How the heck are there so many half celestials? And Half Dragons? And Half Fiends? Half-Trolls?
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2009-04-22, 05:29 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Hey, I like grells! They're one of the few things in the original Fiend Folio that didn't totally suck.
Case in point, the carbuncle.
It's an armadillo with a gem in its forehead and a hard-on for necrophilia. That's right: the carbuncle is so fascinated by death it makes you fight suicidally. And if you attack the carbuncle itself, it dies and the gem rots. Ha ha, no treasure for you, stupid PCs!
There's a reason WotC included this loser in their Fool's Grove adventure. Along with the little bunny with the giant unicorn horn.
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2009-04-22, 05:31 PM (ISO 8601)
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2009-04-22, 05:31 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Wonder Woman (DC Girls in Sweaters Style) Avatar by Astrella.
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2009-04-22, 05:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Some people here just have no concept of how weird nature itself can actually be...
Case in point: This. Just ignore the stupid music.Resident Vancian Apologist
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2009-04-22, 05:56 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
The fact that monks can't dual-wield their bare hands.
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2009-04-22, 06:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
Two words: Pun Pun
How to: Glibness
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2009-04-22, 06:33 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
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2009-04-22, 06:40 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Ridiculous D&D contrivances
How about the fact that with one wish, you can get twenty-five thousand tons of firewood, but could only get fifty pounds of platinum? All for the simple reason that one is perceived as being more valuable than the other?
Last edited by TheCountAlucard; 2009-04-22 at 06:44 PM.
It is inevitable, of course, that persons of epicurean refinement will in the course of eternity engage in dealings with those of... unsavory character. Record well any transactions made, and repay all favors promptly.. (Thanks to Gnomish Wanderer for the Toreador avatar! )
Wanna see what all this Exalted stuff is about? Here's a primer!