Results 301 to 330 of 1486
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2009-09-21, 08:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- It would break your mind.
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
@half-halfling
Good work! I like it! But is that pairing considered self love or not?
@Discord
I love it! It has the perfect balance of comedy and innuendo. Poor Haley though, sometimes your spot check can be too good.
@ClericOfBelker
Great job, keep them coming!Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-21 at 08:49 AM.
I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 9
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 12
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 11
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2009-09-21, 08:52 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Location
- Near St Andews, Scotland.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
What he said.
And now, the one you all prayed he'd forgotten about...
Vaarsuvius x The Lizardfolk Whores!!!
I mentioned it, so I've gotta write it!
*prays*
Sweet Aphrodite, goddess of love and lust and who also gives inspiration for crack pairings on the side, help me in the coming ordeal.
SpoilerVaarsuvius stormed down the avenue of tents, pigtail flying in the breeze. After promising Blackwing that he wouldn't freak out and get righteous on someone, the raven familiar had left him to play with his new bauble, and Vaarsuvius went to discharge his sorro. He began firing spells into the air, working off steam and providing a free fireworks display for the local street urchins. A half-orc wearing armour emblazoned with the legend Sandsedge City Guard and carrying a large halberd approached, but after seeing the look in the elf's glowing pink eyes, hastily backed off.
Half an hour later, his sorrow and most of his spell slots expended, Vaarsuvius left his position standing in a clearing of tents, and started to wander aimlessly through the town in a haze of misery. He had no idea where he was going, until he fetched up at a larger-than-usual mass of canvas with a hand-painted banner tacked to its front, unreadable even to elven low-light vision in the utter darkness of the desert."Light", Vaarsuvius muttered, illuminating his hand, and was rewarded by a sign, written in Common, Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, Undercommon and Halfling. It said simply "Mesa Street Knocking Tent". The elf shuddered and was about to move on, when something stopped him. The sign was written in Elven, which as Vaarsuvius knew from his study of all things outside the elven homelands meant the hookers within had experience with Stickworld's only androgynous race, and V had no need to worry about Kyrie finding out any more. He was sorely tempted. It had been so long...
The elf reached a decision and pulled the flap of the tent open. He was greeted by a female Lizardfolk who looked Venerable, at the least.
"Well well well, an elf! We don't get many of those around here, no indeed," she cackled.
"I am the party evoker of an adventuring party currently in the city. The party leader gave us a free night."
"A wizard as well? Ah, well, I'll have to give you Abla, Kyiska, Losamae... or all three at once. None of the others will have anything to do with magic."
"I do not care. The latter, I suppose."
"You got it, darlin'."
***
Belkar Bitterleaf, in a cubicle opposite from the one the elf, human and lizardfolk went into, stared in shock. His companion, a buxom dwarven lass, asked if anything was the matter.
"Oh, nothing. Only... I think there's a lot of blackmail-gp in my future."
Hey kids! Don't miss this great competition! Spot the semi-blatant Discworld reference and win a pint of brain bleach, enough to wipe all memories of the previous horrifically-written fic from your mind!Last edited by TheBibliophile; 2009-09-21 at 08:55 AM.
Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.
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2009-09-21, 09:10 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
No 4.
Spoiler"AGGHHHH!" Screemed Random Hobgoblinette No. 2 "This stinks!"
"Your telling me! Random Hobgoblin No. 1 is so lucky right now!" Said Jirixette "I would rather be dead right now then then be like this!"
"Agreed" Said Random Hobgoblinette No. 3 "This is so Uncomfortable"
They were on the walls of Azure City doing Guard Duty.
"Wish granted" Said a voice and Random Hobgoblinette No. 3 was suddenly struck by lightning!
"What the?! True Seeing!" Shouted Jirixette
The spell revealed an Adventuring Party, an elf with a smoking finger being one of them, who must have been the ones to kill RHE No. 3.
"RUN AWAY!!!" Screamed Jirixette "ADVENTURERS! Dancing Lights!"
Also: Great job Bibliophille! That was great!
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2009-09-21, 09:17 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Jirixette.
Good story TheBibliophile. Of course, seeing the fourth panel of the latest comic, I'm not even sure V has a sex drive.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-09-21, 09:34 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Poland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
I've changed "view" mistake and the third panel, to Kaytara's suggestions -it's lot better now. I've also prepared
explosivea banner:
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2009-09-21, 09:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-21 at 09:41 AM.
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2009-09-21, 09:53 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
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2009-09-21, 09:57 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- It would break your mind.
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
@TheBibliophile
Great job! After all the trouble V has had, he/she deserves to get some, too bad Belkar has to be there to see it.
@ClericOfBelker
More good work, it seems some nefarious fiend is afoot, what with all the gender swapping and all.
@half-halfling
Nice Banner, it looks very good.I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 9
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 12
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 11
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2009-09-21, 10:37 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Hell (Sweden)
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Lol
Now i will write something for a change to god awful.
Belkster11 said a long time back (at least 5 pages) that he could not picture Blackwing doing haley. Well i can. I will start were you ended.
Spoiler
nsfwSpoiler
"Now wheres Elan. He promised to take me to dinner."
About two seconds (and two cherries) later a sending came showing elan saying
"Sorry haley but I will not be able to make it to dinner. Me and the rest are comforting V. i don't know whats wrong..."
the rest did not come because of the 25 word limit.
"Damm this is the second time he have left me hanging since we all got to gaether again. I guess we should go comfort V as well."
"I don't think we can help my master right now. Hir's mate have sued hir for divorce and full costdy of the children. Hir most need to think and rest in the company of friends." blackwing said in a sad voice.
"Well what do you suggest we do instead then. I cant live on cherries."
"You could eat by yourself." he suggested
"No I get bored when i dont have anyone to talk to." she said
"I could come along and talk to you. All evening if you so wish."
"Well I could pretend to be a mage." she said and gigeld. " They always get serwed first of some reason."
"Arcane might tend to give all kinds of special treats." said Blackwing.
"Lets go." said Haley.
---------------------------------Later that evening------------------------
"You know what Blackwing Elan can be a real jerk sometimes. I mean I havent seen him for months and now for the first time we are in a town for the first time since we met up again. And he leaves me for some thing totaly unimportent."
Blackwing were guiding Haley back to her tent after a night of good food and to much to drink. The stuff they had here on the western continent were a lot stronger then the things on the northen continent. Finally they were back at the tent.
Haley looked in and said
"He ain't even back jet. I was hoping on making him nervus that I have been with somebody else. Well there is a way to prove that for him."
Suddenly she snatcht him out of the air and brought him in to the tent.
"Haley what are you doing." he scremed.
"Quit it. We both know that you have been hiting on me for the whole evening . Now you get what you want and I get back at elan so do what ever you birds do in the nest." she said and started to undress herself.
He doubted the wisenes in this for a momement then he flow stright at her crutch.
------------------------------------Next morning--------------------------
Elan goes in to the tent and sees Haley on the floor completly naked with some
bird that he did not rekognise.
"Haley what on the gods green earth what are you doing." he said.
"Elan. Ehh... Run the aliens might come back." she scremed.
Elan run away as fast as he could while he thougt: weird this is exactly what hapend with Therkla and Julio.
So what do you all think. Will I be banned for this or not. Tell me. I wont be able to respond for a coulple of days because of a school test on the first world war.Last edited by The Odor; 2009-09-21 at 10:38 AM.
Evil. Iam diffrent. Have a problem with that...
My avatarsSpoilerThanks To Dashwood for Spider avatar.
Thanks To Mr Saturn for Goth Man avatar.
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2009-09-21, 11:38 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- About-2-BackStab-You-Land
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
No. 5
Spoiler
"Well that was interesting" Said Harry
"Yeah," Said Elane(?) "But I think tha- wait a minute?! Where did everybody go?"
"I don't know." Said Harry "Hopefully not doing a Suicide Pact "
__________________________________________________
"This STINKS!!!" Shouted Nalette
"Hay, it's not that bad." Said Sabrine
"You wouldn't understand, after all you can change your gender At Will"
"Thog pretty fairy princess" Laughed Thogette
"" Sighed Nalette "At least Thog(ette) is happy."
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2009-09-21, 12:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
The fact that ClericOfBelker is partying in the former crack thread with a bunch of whores actually seems like an appropriate send off for it.
Anyways, I guess it's time to roll up another pair.
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2009-09-21, 01:42 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Oh, wow. This is ackward. Sorry for the double post, but this roll was too awesome to just edit my previous post. Um... well here goes. It's continuing from the Haley and Inkyrius pair.
Spoiler"Ah, there you are Inkyrius, you've been a long time. Vaarsuvius and Celia have already left."
"Um... yes, sorry. I, er, got lost. The halls look the same."
"Yes, you're quite right. I'm sure you're more used to the woods around your home. Anyways, I'm sorry to say that your suing for divorce has been delayed."
"WHAT?!?!"
"Yes, apparently Vaarsuvius's lawyer, Celia, has presented much information to nullify your suing. It will take some time for me to gather the appropriate information. But don't worry, it'll seem like no time at all with your elf years."
"But- this cannot-" Inkyrius races from the room. Had this been the plan of that red haired female from the start?! To keep her from interfering with the discussion?! There was only one way to find out! Inkyrius turned the corner where the group was last, to find... that they were no longer there. Inkyrius stands frozen to the spot. It couldn't be true. How could it?
"May I help you?" It was one of the guards.
"Quick! There was a group of adventures here, where have they gone?!"
"Oh, you just missed them." They were joined up by a purpled hair elf and an oversized sylph and they went through one of the portals to the western continent."
"What had transpired?! WHAT?!"
"Um... well... the group was arguing with the halfling. Apparently he had an affair or something with someone in a desert city. I was trying not to over hear, but you know, PC's always get overheard. Then the arguement shifted when he argued that why should he be criticized for what happened over a failed will save when the red haired human wasn't being criticized for planning on going off to trick and seduce another elf so that their elf can make a case without interfer- oh... uh..." He turns and quickly hurries away, leaving Inkyrius standing there in horror.
It had been a ploy, a trick. Everything about seducing Vaarsuvius was used to aid in the case instead! Inkyrius legs seemed to move on their own to the portal that returned home. With a pop, Inkyrius was standing where the remains of the home was. The kids were at the grandparents, so Inkyrius had nothing to hide the tears from. How could this happen?! What went wrong?! If only there was something that could right justice!
Just then, a portal opened and an envelope landed at Inkyrius's feet. Inkyrius bent down a picked it up. On the cover, it was addressed to yours truly, but the return address was:
IIRC
9 Hells Plaza
Lower Planes 00999
What was this? IIRC? What the heck was that? Something that has to deal with fiends, obviously, since it came from the 9 hells. Wait, Vaarsuvius dealt with fiends, was this the same thing. Only one way to find out. Inkyrius's fingers peel back the seal and a powerful mutlicolored smoked billowed out. In it's place were 3 hooded figures.
Greetings.
Salutations.
No matter how many times we do this, my arms will still feel tired.
"W-Who are you?"
We're the Inter-Fiend cooperation Commision.
But rather then re-explain everything that everyone has already seen. Lets move on.
No point in running in circles, my dad always said. Especially when there are 8 more.
It has come to light that you are having problems with your mate at this time.
"Y-Yes. I have. But how do you know?"
Well, you see, your mate is a client of ours.
Who has yet to fulfill on the payment for which the power was given.
"So... You were the ones that corrupted my Suvie."
Not at all. Your "Suvie" chose this power on his own free will.
She? It?
Shut up. Basicly saying that while we provided the tools, Vaarsuvius used it on his own accord.
"So why are you here?"
To offer you the same deal that we gave your beloved mate."
Separating those who love each other is only half as cruel as allowing them to join in unholy metromony."
"Why would I want to consort with you? You did this to begin with."
But we weren't the ones who tricked you out of your divorce in a way that prescribbed you as commiting adultery.
"So... What is this deal?"
The deal is Soul Splices. The same Soul Splices that we gave your mate. You may do what you want with it, but you will have the same payment method as your mate.
Since you're going to Vaarsuvius anyways, you can ask what the payment is then.
So that we have it on record. If you accept, touch the blue orb. If not, the red orb.
"This will really allow me to get my revenge."
Oh absolutely, your will and desire for revenge will allow you to hold onto this power long enough to fulfill whatever you want to do. As of right now, your beloved mate has just separated from his companions over the issue that they still can't get used to the recent familiar.
Which I didn't know he had until recently. I mean, who knew?
So, the tools are provided and the opportunity has arrived. What will it be?
Inkyrius looks at the 2 orbs, contemplating on what had happened. Then Inkyrius knew. Raising a hand, Inkyrius pressed it the blue orb and was surronded by green arcane energy.
Emerging from it, arcane power was bursting forth. Inkyrius laughed at the power. No wonder Vaarsuvius was reluctant to part with it. This power was glorius. Inkyrius absoultly loved it! The voices of the damned that were shackled to Inkyrius rang in the elf's ear.
Looks like we get the other one.
Atleast this one's better looking.
Now let's make your mate pay.
"Yes! With this power, Vaarsuvius will be begging for mercy! Greater Teleport!"
*pop*
Well that was easier then I expected.
Who knew we would be able to offer this many deals in so little time.
But this time, I'm not betting any soul pieces.
With a little *pop*. An imp appears.
I was watching on the HDTV and you guys still amaze me. You didn't even explain everything and that elf took the deal.
I'm glad that you're still learning from us.
And just so we don't break tradition, lets go to my domian again.
You left it on the same channel right?
Uh... yes.
Excellent.
Then let us enjoy this loving reuinioun between adrogonous elves.
I'll make the popcorn again.
How was this guys? Had to constantly re-check the comics to make sure I got everything correct.
And for anyone who wants to know what the pair is. It's Inkyrius and the soul splices.Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-30 at 11:47 AM.
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2009-09-21, 02:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-09-21, 02:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Germany.
- Gender
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2009-09-21, 02:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
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2009-09-21, 02:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-21, 02:29 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-09-21 at 02:30 PM.
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2009-09-21, 02:48 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Oh man... I'm never going to going to catch up.
Bravo, Silverraptor! K seems to have gone off the deep end... And good job portraying the IIFC and Quarr.Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-09-21, 04:05 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Here's another RCxV picture. I'm really happy with how this one turned out, plus it was easy to draw, which is a refreshing change! Enjoy!
Spoiler
Just a side note, sorry for the no background and the one random splotch of red on the side. That's from where I was testing my colored pencils.
And for those of you who didn't catch the reference/homage: Here.Last edited by Meg; 2009-09-21 at 04:06 PM.
...And that is how I met your father.
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2009-09-21, 04:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Germany
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Okay, for someone who misted about the first... 2000? posts?
What is it with Redcloak and V? Did someone made such a good story about them, that people are now making fanfic of a fanfic?We are not standing on the shoulders of giants, but on very tall tower of other dwarves.
Spriggan's Den Heroic Fantasy Roleplaying
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2009-09-21, 04:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Minnesota, ya?
- Gender
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2009-09-21, 04:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2008
- Location
- Scotland
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Great! Is the fact I can see this happening (V&Miko) quite easily weird?
@The Odor: Those aliens get everywhere don't they? 1 problem, quite a lot of spelling mistakes, was it rushed?
@half-halfling: Great work, we need more comics.
@esmerelder: I loved you "ten things..." story, really sweet!
EDIT: Argent X Mr Scruffy/ Furry versions - lol! Does that mean they dress up like humans or just as other animals?Last edited by Taekwondodo; 2009-09-21 at 04:29 PM.
Avatar by me...yup that's how good my drawing is. As in not very good.
Crack-Pairings, Not Dead Just Moved. Someone Hasn't Been Looking In The Right Places.
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2009-09-21, 04:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- On the Internets
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
@ Half-halfling thing: OMG EPIC!!!! KAWIIIII!!!11!!!
Have an internets!
an a Cookie
an another cookie, big one now!!!
YayLive each day of your life like the man that has never seen a yurt.
~Proverb
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2009-09-21, 04:59 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-09-21, 05:44 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- It would break your mind.
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Last edited by Malkar Grumbo; 2009-09-21 at 05:45 PM.
I Am A: Chaotic Good Human Sorcerer (3rd Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength- 9
Dexterity- 11
Constitution- 11
Intelligence- 12
Wisdom- 11
Charisma- 11
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2009-09-21, 05:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Land of Clocks and Stars
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
So when's water smurf gonna update? I is craving RC/V!
Politics is the most accurate word in the English language. "Poli" in Latin meaning "Many" and
"tics" meaning "little insects"
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2009-09-21, 06:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- Right here, duh
- Gender
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2009-09-21, 11:38 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Texas
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
i finally caught up!Yeah! I direct you all to the still recruiting, Calling all Sith lords campaign! Awesomesauce!
Dolla dolla bill, y'allLeague of Legends S3 Ranked Challenge: 6/100 wins, Silver IV
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2009-09-22, 07:39 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Location
- U.K
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Wow, now I'm the one with so much to catch up on!
@ half-halfling -- WOW, that is hilarious, and so, so cute. I'm seriously tempted to just post a link to it every time anybody starts another 'V's Gender' thread.
@ CheeseMuncher -- another historian who thoroughly approves of your homage! There should be more mock-ups of famous images using the OOTS characters, I feel.
@ Discord -- I am joining in with the group who feel that Miko/V is actually disturbingly plausible. Fine lines between hatred and attraction, and all that.
@ Silverraptor -- *hides* Spliced!Kyrie scares me much more than Spiced!V ever did.
@ TheBibliophile -- aww! Great characterisation of Belkar and his evil blackmailing ways, too.
Many thanks, blue silk handkerchiefs, and small inarticulate hedgehog noises to Funky Goose for the sig banner!
Even more thanks to half-halfling for the adorable avatar, which is from this comic!
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2009-09-22, 07:48 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2009
- Location
- Near St Andews, Scotland.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings II - Brain Bleach not Supplied
Amazingly cool avatar by Mauve Shirt. May she ever be promoted and not demoted! *promotes*
Books are a mind-altering substance. Therefore, I am high all the time.
My old avatars. Thanks, y'all!
Some poetry I've written. Constructive criticism warmly welcomed.