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2009-11-16, 03:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Water-smurf, (I hope that is right) that spawn-fic was great. I haven't been on for a while and couldn't reply earlier. I can't wait for the next one. Good job!
Last edited by Lawyergoblin; 2009-11-16 at 03:02 PM.
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2009-11-16, 03:06 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2007
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- Texas...for now
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
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2009-11-16, 03:15 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 03:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2008
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Great work. You can really feel the emotion.
Nadir We,
Youth Born,
Blood Letters,
Axe Weilders,
Victors Still.
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2009-11-16, 03:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I loved the story, Z. I think it was brilliant, and now I want more.
Oh well.
Still, it's a shame that only one V fought Zykon at a time. You'd think with two of them, the battles might be a bit easier, but oh well.
I so wish we could have a banner of that story.It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-16, 03:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
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- Alaska
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-16, 03:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Wow. Okay, that was cracky. And disturbing. And cracky.
As it is, I've got one crack pairing that I want to post before I get to studying for my physics test tomorrow. Did I mention that I absolutely DESPISE junior year and that I'm slowly losing control and losing my mind as well?
*Sigh* As it is, this crack pairing (Mr. Scruffy/V) is based off of something that happened yesterday. I do volunteer work at a local animal shelter, and I'm really good at it. And when I say good, I mean I get about 3-5, sometimes more (My record is 8) animals adopted per shift.
Yesterday one of the kittens I got adopted was this little black kitten who was very assertive about going home. When I took him out of the cage to show the people who adopted him, he jumped on my shoulder, jumped onto his shoulder, and then started playing with his ear; nuzzling it, grooming it, biting it, batting it with his paws. Then the kitten jumped onto his wife's shoulder and did the same thing to her hairbun. They adopted Kitty McEarbitey. How can you say no to that?
So then I went home and re-read Kaytara's Belkar/V crack pairing. I got an idea; deciding to take the "Elf ears are an erogenous zone" idea and run with it. I think you can see where this is headed.
Spoiler
Belkar didn't know this, but Mr. Scruffy rarely spent the whole night sleeping in Belkar's tent. He much preferred to walk around and stalk mice under the night sky. He particularly enjoyed doing this in the desert; the night air was much more refreshing than the burning sun. And desert voles were fun to chase.
This night, however, Mr. Scruffy felt like exploring. He eventually wandered into the elf's tent, where for some reason the elf had decided to rest on the floor that night. The cat was curious. Belkar seemed to harbor a particular animosity towards the elf, and the elf--V, Mr. Scruffy believed the elf was called--felt the same towards him. Mr. Scruffy didn't quite understand this. Sure, the elf--V--was somewhat aloof and never gave him the string on hir robe to play with, but he rather liked V regardless. The elf was...Catlike, with that aloof, "I'll deal with you when I feel like it" attitude, and hir natural elven grace.
And those ears. They were pointy and stuck out in a funny way, one more than the other. Mr. Scruffy laughed to himself. They always looked like they'd be so much fun to play with, but he never got the chance. Until now, that is...
Mr. Scruffy was never known for his patience. He climbed up V and started batting at hir ears, purring as he nipped at them and batted them between his paws. This was so much fun!
Unfortunately for Mr. Scruffy, he did not know that elf ears are a notorious erogenous zone.
V flushed and muttered something incomprehensible; in fact it was a very fast murmur in Elven. Hir trance abruptly shifted to an extremely passionate night that was spent with Kyrie early in their marriage, which became more and more detailed as Mr. Scruffy kept using hir ears as a toy. V actually started purring in contentment. Mr. Scruffy stopped for a second and stared at the trancing, blushing elf for a moment. He then resumed playing with and grooming with V's ears, laughing to himself. It was like a huge box of fun new toys!
Then V rolled over and grabbed Mr. Scruffy, murmuring something about Kyrie and "Knowing just what turns me into putty", and things went south for the cat very quickly.
Belkar heard Mr. Scruffy's loud yowling and shrieking and bolted out of bed. He realized that it was coming from V's tent. He grabbed his daggers and dashed into hir tent, screaming, "V, I swear if you're hurting Mr. Scruffy, I'm gonna slice your throat and--"
He broke off abruptly and stared at the ongoing scene, his mouth open in abject horror. Then, finally,
"ROY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The following morning involved a lot of screaming, arguing, and humiliation from the entire Order.
"What the hell were you doing to Mr. Scruffy, V?! What, is your Wif...Hus...Your spouse not enough for you?!"
"As I have said before, what I did was inappropriate and I apologize, but I could not help it! Elven ears are notoriously sensitive and I was trancing at the time! It was an instinctive response! You would achieve the same reaction if, say, Elan were to sneak into Haley's tent while she was asleep, pull down her pants and--"
"V, stop now before I blow our entire budget on potions of Remove (Mental Image)."
"That STILL doesn't change the fact that YOU WERE NAILING MR. SCRUFFY!!!"
"Elan, actually, do you think you could try what V suggested sometime? It sounds pretty hot."
"V, where's the potion shop?"
...What do you guys think?Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-16 at 07:03 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
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Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-16, 03:49 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Sep 2009
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- Where the dragons are
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
So, what's next?
And is there anyone who can do that "Tiamat x The IFCC x Every dragon killed by the Familicide" thing?
Just thinking about it makes me laugh.
...Evil ideas bubbling up to the front of my mind...cannot...resist...EVIL!
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2009-11-16, 03:53 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
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2009-11-16, 03:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-16 at 03:55 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 03:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Feb 2009
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- Alaska
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Aaron; 2009-11-16 at 08:31 PM.
Your local Cleric.
Cleric of the Murphy's Law Thread
(yes, that is possible)
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
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2009-11-16, 03:55 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-16, 04:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 04:31 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I was actually fishing for a comment about Haley and V doing it every night, not a fanfiction.
Now excuse me as I try to find out how "Harder V, harder!" is written in Haley-lost-her-gold speech...Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-16, 04:34 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Apr 2008
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Oh man... I've had a pretty cruddy day, but Zanaril and Coffee completely made up for it. Zanaril, that story was crack-tastic, but at the same time very interesting to read. Somehow, you made it work, although the twincest was pretty squicky.
Coffee, that story made me laugh. A lot. Like, seriously, I couldn't stop laughing when V grabbed Mr. Scruffy, and it just got worse from there...
We need more silly, goofy crack fics like that. I mean, the big well-written ones are nice and everything, but sometimes its nice to just get a laugh out of a small snippet...
Edit: Oh, and Coffee? Senior year is the best. Seriously, I just chilled out for most of my Senior year. Classes are easier, and most teachers just give up when Senioritis starts to kick in...Last edited by Lycan 01; 2009-11-16 at 04:35 PM.
Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
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2009-11-16, 04:35 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Does this mean you're writing something?
And they totally were.
Look how sad V is in this comic that their their nightly fun is over: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0402.html
And then in panel five, V suddenly realizes: threesome!Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-16 at 04:42 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 04:45 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Maybe. I'm not sure. My writing inspiration is pretty dead as it is now*. I've got a "Roy walks in on V and V making out" and a "V walks in on V!Elan and Haley making out" in the works, but I've not made any progress for ages.
I'm trying to make a V x Haley x V image, perhaps a banner, perhaps a picture ala half-halfling, but I've yet to find an adequate pose (I can't do much more than tracing, unfortunately). I might have to retreat towards a safer bet, like V x Miko.
*Unless, that is, you mean R-rated inspiration. Bad Discord, bad. You promised you would never get past implied sex, especially not of the Giant's characters. No smut writing for you.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-16, 04:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 05:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Depends. Does Discord really want to get banned that badly?
And thanks for the feedback, guys. I've been having a lot of rough days lately.My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-16, 05:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Dark Faun; 2009-11-16 at 05:02 PM.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-16, 05:04 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Jul 2008
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- Germany
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
CoffeeIncluded, that was hilarious. :D As well as scarily plausible, by which I mean that the story didn't really have any of the characters do anything out of character. That only adds to the disturbingness factor. XD
No, see, the weird thing is that practically NONE of the other stories actually disturbed me. Cracklord's Belkar in Hell fic didn't make me bat an eye.
I'm trying to make a statement about Zanaril's implausibly realistic crackwriting skills, see?Last edited by Kaytara; 2009-11-16 at 05:09 PM.
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2009-11-16, 05:09 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Oct 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Agreed. Implication is almost always funnier than saying it outright. Besides, we're here to squick people out, not turn people on. If you want that, the fanservice thread is that way.
Thanks. *Returns hugs*
And thank you, Kaytara. So should we now assume that V's "reward" for being the Official Crack Pairing Bicycle is for our favorite androgynous elf (And every other elf here, by extension) to be given extremely "sensitive" ears?Last edited by CoffeeIncluded; 2009-11-16 at 05:11 PM.
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-16, 05:12 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
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2009-11-16, 05:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2006
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- England
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 05:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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- May 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
We're here to do both. Bonus points if it's at the same time.
This thread's mommy and daddy are the Houses of Horrors and Fanservice.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
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2009-11-16, 05:26 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- New York
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell
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2009-11-16, 05:28 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
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2009-11-16, 05:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Zanaril; 2009-11-16 at 05:35 PM.
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
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2009-11-16, 05:37 PM (ISO 8601)
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- Nov 2009
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Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Crap, I can't post often enough to keep up with everything. That was a great story Zanaril. I probably should keep better track of were and when and after what I post from now on...
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2009-11-16, 05:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
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- New York
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
So V became the Official Bike because of hir "sensitive" ears?
My webcomic!
Currently DMing:
Tales of Aequar: Runite's Rise IC
OOC Map
Playing Natalia Bolts,Jadeite Nocrius, and Soren Lowell