Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick

[Zanaril]

Enough already! I have other things to do! *Get's dragged back in again*

Not anymore you don't.

I'm gonna be scarred for life after this...

Kinky.

[DarkElfGangsta]

despite thisthrea's massive content of EXTREMELY disturbing stuff (Roy + his freaking sister) I gotta say, you guys have some serious writing talent.

going back to my bleach n' tar head-bucket now.

[Zanaril]

(Roy + his freaking sister)

Out of interest, why did you pick this specific example? Is is simply where you've got up to so far in the archives?

[Lycan 01]

I don't recall reading any Roy x Julia, actually... I probably missed it, which isn't a bad thing, of course.

I vote the VxV stuff as weirdest, freakiest, and also funniest pairing we've come up with. Its probably the squickiest thing I've actually seen, but its also a funny idea, and tends to produce entertaining fics.

[DarkElfGangsta]

Out of interest, why did you pick this specific example? Is is simply where you've got up to so far in the archives?

my brother looked at my oots account (without my permission obviously) and found it. his look of horror is something I shall cherish for eternity.

Also, V x V?! wth?! man... were time machines involved?

[Zanaril]

my brother looked at my oots account (without my permission obviously) and found it. his look of horror is something I shall cherish for eternity.

Also, V x V?! wth?! man... were time machines involved?

Not time travel, twins. It came from the crack theory that there are two Vs of opposite gender who switch around between comics.
I took the idea to it's logical conclusion. Read: too far.

Discord wrote one too.

Oh, there was also a comic strip (you can find fanart in the third post of the first page) where the two Vs were imaginary.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Also, V x V?! wth?! man... were time machines involved?

HEY! I'm proud of that. It was my first fic on here.

And Twins, not time travel. One of each gender, switching between panels using secret elven ninja magic. Any reference to Vs gender in the comic is correct.

[Dark Faun]

I don't recall reading any Roy x Julia, actually... I probably missed it, which isn't a bad thing, of course.

Metalhead wrote it in the previous thread.

Eugene's face would be priceless.

I vote the VxV stuff as weirdest, freakiest, and also funniest pairing we've come up with. Its probably the squickiest thing I've actually seen, but its also a funny idea, and tends to produce entertaining fics.

The only thing it lacks is pregnancy.

[The Dark Fiddler]

Tass though that if he died at that moment, he wouldn't mind. His heart felt as though it would be torn from his chest, and if that was what it took for him to show his love, so be it. It would always be an odd relationship; he didn't know what drew him, whether it was awe or horrified fascination, or something in-between. He wasn't sure if his feelings were returned, if the object of his admiration could even feel emotions. But he knew without a doubt that now he had admitted his affection to the Crack Pairings thread, it would never truly let him go.

I hope this gets added to the archive.

Welcome to the Crack Pairings thread!
Your soul is now forfeit.

Could somebody compile all the titles we've decided upon for the future? I want to know what number this is...

[Zanaril]

And Twins, not time travel. One of each gender, switching between panels using secret elven ninja magic. Any reference to Vs gender in the comic is correct.

I'm a ninja too!

As for the quality of writing, I'm finding it's very good practice; actually it's the only creative writing practice I get now.

You can tell who has been regularly writing for a long time because the stuff they write is such a high quality.

The only thing it lacks is pregnancy.

And so at last I've found the line I will not cross.

At least not in any seriousness. But if I happen to get an idea...

[Dark Faun]

You can tell who has been regularly writing for a long time because the stuff they write is such a high quality.

And I know I'm not among them because I began writing in May.

At least not in any seriousness. But if I happen to get an idea...

I want to see Kyrie's face when he learns about it.

I wonder if he knew there were two Vs or if they fooled him by speaking of Polymorph Self... (unless he actually never got to see what was under those robes... )

[CoffeeIncluded]

I want to see Kyrie's face when he learns about it.

I wonder if he knew there were two Vs or if they fooled him by speaking of Polymorph Self... (unless he actually never got to see what was under those robes... )

Or what if Kyrie knew? And thought: "Double the V, double the fun!"

I mean, since I'll assume that we're all in agreement that elven ears are an erogenous zone, and Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion...

I don't think I need to go into further detail, do I?

Also, I'm certain that V has slept with Kyrie at some point:
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0625.html

Quarr: But I find that virgin's blood is kind of like table salt: You can't go wrong with a little sprinkle here or there:

: That is reprehensible, depraved, and most importantly, highly impractical given our current location.

[Water-Smurf]

Water_Smurf, I still have no idea what the ice kid is supposed to be.

Which ice kid?

I wonder if he knew there were two Vs or if they fooled him by speaking of Polymorph Self... (unless he actually never got to see what was under those robes... )

You know, I don't think that V and Kyrie had much sex at all. (My personal pet theory--V and Kyrie, if they ever did copulate, did it at Kyrie's request and/or their first time was years after the actual marriage.)

[CoffeeIncluded]

The person at the end of each chapter sitting on the frozen branch. (Why I call it the ice kid)

In any case, that was an excellent chapter, as always. So I suppose we are all in unanimous agreement that elven ears are an erogenous zone?

(Also I'm fairly sure they did copulate at some point: See the post I made above.)

[Dark Faun]

Also, I'm certain that V has slept with Kyrie at some point:

V never said he slept with Kyrie.

With Aarindarius, on the other hand...

[Zanaril]

And I know I'm not among them because I began writing in May.

But you've shown improvement, that's the important thing .

I want to see Kyrie's face when he learns about it.

I wonder if he knew there were two Vs or if they fooled him by speaking of Polymorph Self... (unless he actually never got to see what was under those robes... )

Well, if I had to settle on one story, I'd say that Inky married one of them... and never managed to get absoloute proof that that his spouse's relationship with their sibling was closer that it should be.

As if their marriage wasn't strained enough already.

With Aarindarius, on the other hand...

I've noticed that people seem oddly reluctant to do anything with this pairing apart from minor fluff.

[Dark Faun]

Tell me... how many siblings does Kyrie have?

I wish their marriage was happier too.

But you've shown improvement, that's the important thing .

Thanks!

[CoffeeIncluded]

V never said he slept with Kyrie.

With Aarindarius, on the other hand...

Yes, but it's generally accepted that married couples have slept with each other on at least one occasion; almost always much, much more.

[Dark Faun]

Elves are... special.

And, truth be told, considering...

Excellent! I shall eat in the library, then, to take best advantage of the silence.

...I'm surprised V actually isn't a virgin, unless Kyrie jumped him in the library and made love to him right there amidst the knocked down books.

[CoffeeIncluded]

Maybe V doesn't like sex. Tried it once, thought:

...So apparently the claims and advice of all my peers were incorrect. Why am I not surprised?

And decided not to do it again.

So now V has become the Village Bike because we're funny like that.

[Zanaril]

...I'm surprised V actually isn't a virgin, unless Kyrie jumped him in the library and made love to him right there amidst the knocked down books.

I'm surprised they got married in the first place. Presumably there was something that meant they could tolerate each other.

...So apparently the claims and advice of all my peers were incorrect. Why am I not surprised?

What peers?

[Water-Smurf]

So I suppose we are all in unanimous agreement that elven ears are an erogenous zone?

Yep. Who can resist the pointy ears?

(Also I'm fairly sure they did copulate at some point: See the post I made above.)

S/he just said s/he wasn't a virgin, and V doesn't seem like the type to get hung up on stuff like 'waiting for marriage' or even 'sex makes for a healthy marriage.'

And don't click on the spoiler if you don't want any minor details in my stories spoiled.

Spoiler

Show

In fact, in my story's canon, I feel that V's first time was with another elven teenager who took advantage of the fact that she didn't understand the magnitude of the decision to sleep with someone. She generally avoided sexuality for the rest of her life, only sleeping with Kyrie two years into their marriage, and even then being very reluctant to be penetrated (assuming Kyrie's a guy--I'm still not sure about that). That's something that makes her relationship with Reddy extremely profound--there is a physical and sexual side to it at the same time as an emotional and loving side after only a few months.

I've noticed that people seem oddly reluctant to do anything with this pairing apart from minor fluff.

I'm still working on this. There is the fact that he is V's teacher, mentor, master, and father figure. It's generally accepted to be taking advantage of one's student (assuming these kinds of relationships are already established) to have sex with them, as it can turn into unintentional coercion. I need to figure out how to work past or work with Aarindarius's conscience in order to make it believable.

[Sstoopidtallkid]

...I'm surprised V actually isn't a virgin, unless Kyrie jumped him in the library and made love to him right there amidst the knocked down books.

Not crack, but I don't care. SOMEONE needs to write this.

[Lycan 01]

Wow, nice detail catch, Coffee. I actually assumed V and K never actually did anything, since there was another comic were K tried to be romantic and V ignored him. I assumed she was like that every time he tried, but I could be wrong.


Of course, like the others have already pointed out, she could have been talking about somebody else. I wonder who...


*looks at Crack Pairing Thread*


Well, that helps to narrow it down...

[Silverraptor]

Wow, nice detail catch, Coffee. I actually assumed V and K never actually did anything, since there was another comic were K tried to be romantic and V ignored him. I assumed she was like that every time he tried, but I could be wrong.


Of course, like the others have already pointed out, she could have been talking about somebody else. I wonder who...


*looks at Crack Pairing Thread*


Well, that helps to narrow it down...

Ya. Practically everyone, right?

[Sstoopidtallkid]

Keep in mind that the children appear to be pure-elves. That doesn't change the possible partners she had, but does mean that she needed to sleep with an elf at least once.

[CoffeeIncluded]

S/he just said s/he wasn't a virgin, and V doesn't seem like the type to get hung up on stuff like 'waiting for marriage' or even 'sex makes for a healthy marriage.'

And don't click on the spoiler if you don't want any minor details in my stories spoiled.

Spoiler

Show

In fact, in my story's canon, I feel that V's first time was with another elven teenager who took advantage of the fact that she didn't understand the magnitude of the decision to sleep with someone. She generally avoided sexuality for the rest of her life, only sleeping with Kyrie two years into their marriage, and even then being very reluctant to be penetrated (assuming Kyrie's a guy--I'm still not sure about that). That's something that makes her relationship with Reddy extremely profound--there is a physical and sexual side to it at the same time as an emotional and loving side after only a few months.

I'm still working on this. There is the fact that he is V's teacher, mentor, master, and father figure. It's generally accepted to be taking advantage of one's student (assuming these kinds of relationships are already established) to have sex with them, as it can turn into unintentional coercion. I need to figure out how to work past or work with Aarindarius's conscience in order to make it believable.

I wasn't. Just postulating the most likely scenario given what we know of V. (Note that I didn't say after marriage. I just said it would more likely be Kyrie than anyone else, this thread excluded)

So is that going to be mentioned in V's trances? Interesting to see how she and Aarindarius reacted to that.

...Well, are you saying that they're in a romantic relationship at some point, or just that Aarindarius has feelings for her but hates himself for it?

[Zanaril]

Keep in mind that the children appear to be pure-elves. That doesn't change the possible partners she had, but does mean that she needed to sleep with an elf at least once.

...They're adopted. V actually mentions this in-comic.

[Meg]

I was flipping through my sketchbook, and found this picture, from my brief experimentation with manga-style drawing. I had some scanner issues, but hey.

Spoiler

Show

It's supposed to be V and Celia.

[Dark Faun]

It's cute.

I've noticed that people seem oddly reluctant to do anything with this pairing apart from minor fluff.

I'm currently working on something about them, though it won't be from their point of view.

No, no voyeurism.

Spoiler

Show

In fact, in my story's canon, I feel that V's first time was with another elven teenager who took advantage of the fact that she didn't understand the magnitude of the decision to sleep with someone.

Spoiler

Show

Saw it coming as soon as Aarindarius mentioned that possibility - maybe even sooner.

Not crack, but I don't care. SOMEONE needs to write this.

And now I find myself longing for the House of Horrors' return...

Ya. Practically everyone, right?

Including V.

I wasn't. Just postulating the most likely ...Well, are you saying that they're in a romantic relationship at some point, or just that Aarindarius has feelings for her but hates himself for it?

I seem to recall Darie doing the latter.